


Changes

by angelslaugh



Series: New Path [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Bloodline Uzumaki Naruto, Don't Like Don't Read, F/M, Female Uzumaki Naruto, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Romance, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-29
Updated: 2017-07-09
Packaged: 2018-05-17 02:12:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 68
Words: 79,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5849944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelslaugh/pseuds/angelslaugh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Naruto, I don't have control of my body," Shisui said, gazing at her with his Sharingan. "Seal me."</p><p>"I..." Naruto's eyes welled with tears. "I can't." She dropped her kunai. "But I promise, Shisui, he will pay."</p><p>Shisui's body vanished. Then, he was behind her. Itachi turned just to see a terrible sight.</p><p>"NARUTO!"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

It began after the C-Rank mission.

Naruto sighed. She wouldn’t be able to attend the festival-she’d be  _ busy _ elsewhere.

“How about we all celebrate the Festival together, my kawaii genin?” Kakashi eye-smiled as the other jounin and jounin-senseis watched with amusement at Kakashi’s pathetic team.

Sakura squealed and nodded emphatically.

Sasuke just ‘hn’-ed.

Naruto gave a sweet, yet chilled smile.

“Sorry, Kakashi-sensei. I’m busy. Plus, isn’t the Festival for  _ humans _ only?”

Naruto gave a beaming smile. The other teams watched curiously as Kakashi’s eye widened.

“Naruto-“

“I said  _ no, _ jounin-san.” Naruto walked away. “I’m  _ busy. _ ”

Naruto hopped onto the water and darted off, making the other genin stare.

~:~

“Ah, Anko-nee-chan!”

“Tenshi-chan! How are you?”

“Good. The jounin-san asked me to the Festival.” To outsiders, it would look like Anko was conversing rather seriously with a beautiful black-haired babe of a civilian. To anyone in the know (which was four altogether), they knew differently. “I told him I was busy.” The babe leaned closer and delivered a long, visible lick to the snake mistress’ face, making men nosebleed and women stare jealously.

Then Anko licked her cheek rather lewdly, causing some men to faint.

“Of course,” Anko said after licking the cheek. “Tell Neri-chan, Aya-chan, and Bun-chan, ‘kay?”

“Ah, Anko-nee-chan, Bun-chan already said she’ll be there. I must get ready; Kaa-san will not be pleased if we’re late.”

“Kaa-san still hates your family’s greetings!”

“Licking someone’s cheek is a perfectly viable way of saying ‘hello’!” called the blackette as she walked off, her hips swaying almost sensually.

~:~

“Aya-chan.” Ichiraku Ayame whirled around to look at Tenshi. “Did I scare you? I apologize.”

“What are you doing here?” Ayame questioned.

Tenshi licked her lips, and Ayame tilted her face, and Tenshi gave her a slow, yet moderately fast lick.

Ayame did the same to Tenshi’s other cheek.

“Are you going to the Festival? I’m working tonight. Anko-nee was wondering if you were coming too.” An innuendo was hidden in those words, one Ayame quickly caught on.

Ayame glanced to her father, who gave a small nod.

“Go ahead, Ayame, if that’s what you want.” Her father’s voice held no judgement. Ramen didn’t  _ always _ pay the bills. At least this way, Teuchi didn’t have to work too much.

Ayame nodded. “I  _ will _ not  _ come, _ ” she said, blinking a little too much on ‘will’ and ‘come’, then rubbing her left eye. “Do mind asking some of your sisters to help me and Father?”

Teuchi turned around to hide his smile.

“Hai,” Tenshi said with a smile. “See you soon.”

“Wait! Did anyone else lick your face?”

Tenshi smiled, looking a bit puzzled. “Only Anko-nee.”

Ayame turned green.

~:~

Nerissa was finishing one of her sticks of dango when Tenshi entered the dining room. Her bell-and-chopsticks hairstyle caught attention, however, Nerissa knew that the bells gave off a genjutsu that the demon fox itself put out in order to make her unmemorable. No matter what happened, the girl’s bells were soundless to all but Nerissa, Anko, Bun-chan, and Ayame; and of course Teuchi and Bun-chan’s father.

They did the customary ‘lick each other’s cheek’ thing that had people staring. Then they spoke quietly, and the blackette left, the only memory of her as a big-chested blackette who looked pretty, but they could not remember what any one of them spoke of.

~:~

Tenten sighed. She was a proud kunoichi, but with the only missions Gai-sensei picking were missions that utilized Lee’s fighting style, she knew why Neji was like he was. Why he acted like there was a stick up his butt.

Tenten had an idea.

“Oi, Neji!”

Neji turned, his face expressionless. “What?” he asked, looking like he had zero interest in what Tenten was going to offer.

“If you can do a jutsu,” Tenten began, recalling Tenshi’s voice:  _ The Sexy Jutsu literally changes the organs of a person. Lee could do it; but he’d probably be stuck in it-it only costs a little bit of chakra for women, about as much as a d-rank jutsu if used continually for days if used by men. It’s underhanded, but it’ll get most perverts. _ “You can learn something not many have the patience to do so.”

Interest flamed in Neji’s eyes. Tenten internally smiled. She had Neji hooked.

Tenshi said in underdeveloped kunoichis, the ‘female’ Sexy Jutsu enhanced those things to an extreme degree. In her ‘male’ Sexy Jutsu, Tenshi could pick between ‘underdeveloped’, ‘developing’, and a true  _ sexy _ male form.

“And,” she added, “you can get much more pick of missions. It’s just a small blow to your Hyuuga pride if you do what I do and are found out, but if not, then you can get much more money. And probably leave the Hyuuga Compound.”

Tenten’s hesitant offer made the Hyuuga stare at her in shock.

Then the Hyuuga looked reluctant, but nodded.

“Please teach me,” he asked her.

Tenten smiled.

~:~

“And that’s it,” Bun-chan giggled as she placed a card down, a very demure-looking lady next to her. “He agreed to it.”

“Ah, it’s nice to see someone actually starting to take training seriously. I would advise asking someone to teach you some kunoichi tricks,” Tenshi smiled gently. “Oh. And whenever you meet me, you lick my cheek after I lick yours.”

There was no emotion on the girl’s face.

“Oh, and you might want to stop acting like a Hyuuga; some other Hyuuga here don’t act like that. It’s a very discreet service here; all kunoichi/Sexy-Jutsu’d/henge’d chakra-users are served by civilians and  _ very _ discreet shinobi who might just want to talk. Speaking of one, how are you today, Ibiki-san?” Tenshi stood up. “Talk or-?”

“It doesn’t matter,” the scarred jounin said, passing through, tossing a glance at Neji. “And relax or the kaa-san might kick ya out.”

Ibiki grasped Tenshi’s hand on the way past, and Tenshi nodded at Neji.

They didn’t see Tenshi for the rest of the night, though Ibiki and several other ninja came to see the ‘angel’ of the brothel.

None of them thought that their night off doing discreet things coincided with Uzumaki Naruto’s vehement ‘no’ and her claim that she was ‘busy’.

No. Well, not until the next morning.


	2. Beginning of Change

Naruto limped to the training ground, yawning. She had only just got up from falling into her bed. Her clones had all come back to her, making her even more tired.

She realized something-she was thirteen. Anko had ruffled her hair, something she hadn’t done since Naruto was seven and first meeting her; Nerissa had given her a couple shuriken blades; Tenten gave her a set of odd-looking kunai that the Fourth used that had her oldest friend the Kyuubi growling in her sleep; and the Hyuuga that Tenten had brought had given her a scroll containing chakra control techniques, mumbling something about how everyone should be privy to chakra controlling techniques, and had said, “One of your tenketsu points are blocked. May I unblock it?” She’d acquiesced.

Shadow clones were already working double-time on the techniques.

Naruto paused. As she stayed still, she could  _ see _ all of Konoha; lots of chakra signatures, most weak, but a little less than half traveling fast and had an unusual amount of chakra compared to the weak signatures.

Naruto felt a chakra signature that seemed warm and reassuring a little ways away. Another signature that was almost as weak as the others was excited and exasperated and angry. Another was full of anger and rage, an anger and rage that had probably been building up for years.

Naruto shivered.

She forced herself to walk to the bridge, nearing the three closest signatures.

When Naruto paused, she could feel a certain… _ warmth _ emanating from the tree. The tree seemed to shiver as Naruto pressed a hand on its bark and looked up.

Kakashi stared at her, looking shocked.

Naruto frowned and kept walking, taking her hand off of the tree and missing that warmth.

As she felt all those signatures, she wondered what they meant.

~:~

Naruto was distracted. Kakashi ended practice early, deciding to skip D-Ranks since all the jobs just pertained to cleaning.

And no, they were  _ not _ doing another C-Rank before the Chuunin Exams.

“Naruto, you’re distracted. Why?”

Naruto glanced at Kakashi. “I…I don’t know how to explain it, Kaka-sensei.”

He sounded slightly upset.

“Try,” urged the Copy-nin.

“I have some clones doing some chakra exercises, and a…friend…unblocked something called a ‘tenketsu’ point after…work…last night, and this morning I can feel…” Naruto gestured expansively. “I can feel the trees, sensei.”

The Copy-nin blinked.

“Or feel a sense of… _ something _ around them! And I can feel… _ you, _ Sasuke, and Sakura, but they’re not the only ones and I don’t know!” the boy practically wailed.

The Copy-nin had an idea.

“Naruto, you can sense chakra,” he said after a minute. “About the tree thing…” He paused, then recalled perfectly a jutsu that he had _ never _ been able to copy. A chill raced down his spine. He didn’t have the correct chakra for it, but if he was right… “Naruto,” he said, gaining his students’ attention, “I want you to do me a favor and copy these hand-signs.”

Naruto nodded obediently.

Slowly, Naruto did. However, something happened that made Kakashi’s jaw drop.

“Oh, boy,” he said, staring in shock at the sight. “Holy s---. You have  _ Mokuton! _ ”

“Moku-you’re kidding me!” Naruto yelled. “The jutsu that only one person in the world can do?”

“What guy?” Kakashi asked suspiciously.

“Yama-er, I don’t know,” Naruto said quickly. “I’ve heard it around.” Her slip hadn’t gone unnoticed.

“Ne, Naruto, what  _ is _ your job?”

Naruto paled, and then smiled. “Nothing you need to worry about, sensei!” Naruto beamed. “I should get going, I promised Konohamaru that if we didn’t have training later I’d play ninja with him.”

Naruto made her escape.

~:~

“Neji.” Neji’s eyes turned to Hinata, who, for once, was not stuttering. Most of the market area was filled, so Neji and Hinata could talk without being overheard much. “I must speak to you, in private. Ko. Tell my father I am with Kurenai-sensei and please do not mention my lack of stuttering.”

Ko nodded and gave a hasty bow.

Hinata began to walk, Neji beside her.

“Naruto has a knack of helping others,” Hinata said out of nowhere. “I was surprised to see you there last night.”

Neji’s eyes widened. Hinata was-?

“I am, but to get Naruto’s help. She doesn’t know that I do that, though. She probably thinks I’m a branch member.”

“What do you need help with?” Neji asked her, his voice cold.

“I want to ask her to help with a different version of the Caged Bird Seal. Uzumakis are infamous for their sealing talents.”

“What makes you certain she’ll help?”

Pain flashed through Hinata’s eyes through her façade of shy heiress.

“I’m not. And you don’t seem to be curious as to how Naruto is a ‘she’.”

Neji blushed. With his Byakugan, he could see Naruto’s chakra coils which were enlarged. Plus her organs.

“Byakugan,” he replied. Hinata pinked.

“Neji-nii-san, please. I endeavor to change the fate of the branch Hyuuga,” Hinata pleaded. “Please, Neji-nii-san.”

“Why didn’t you allow Ko to stay?”

“Ko is loyal to father. I have been training to try to get Father’s approval, but all he can see is Hanabi. I cannot tell him that I am trying to change the fate of the Hyuuga for the better. Please.”

Hinata was right.

Neji sighed minutely. “How far are you on mastering the 364 Palms?”

“I’m on 16 Palms. I want to learn the Kaiten, though, but Father-“ Hinata bit her lip, unwilling to say much more.

Neji sighed. “I will help…if you want it.”

Hinata gave him a tentative smile.

~:~

Naruto laughed at Konohamaru as he ran from her. Naruto jumped onto a fence and darted across it, then stopped as she heard a scream.

Konohamaru!

She darted forward, pushing more speed and ripping the young boy out of the other’s hands and instantly assuming a defensive position with a kunai, a growl slipping out of her mouth.

“Who are you?” she snarled. She spied the headband. “Great-is it an invasion?”

The man’s eyes widened fractionally. “We’re here for the Chuunin Exams!” he said.

Naruto tilted her head and stared at him, then smiled sinisterly. “Then why the  _ hell _ is there three others in the tree with you, hmm?”

A blonde woman came out. “I apologize. That gaki bumped into Kankuro here.”

“That ‘ _ gaki’ _ is the Hokage’s grandson,” Naruto ground out. “If there was even a single  _ scratch _ on him, you would’ve caused an international incident. Something we don’t want, ne?” Naruto grinned at them, never loosening her grip on her kunai. “I would suggest scampering off like-“

Sand whipped out.

Naruto shoved Konohamaru out of the way and stepped in his place. Sand pierced her body, but she simply grinned as it left her body and began healing.

“So…you’re here, aren’t you,  _ tanuki?” _ Naruto couldn’t resist as Kurama snorted deep in her mind. “I suspected as much.” The wounds began to heal quickly.

Konohamaru was staring in disbelief.

“I would suggest you carry on,” Naruto informed the Sand-nin. “I look forward to the Chuunin Exams, tanuki-holder, clown freak, cool fan lady.” She turned and gave them a parting wave. “And Baka Instructor. Later!”

Naruto grabbed Konohamaru’s hand as he watched her with awe.

“Nee-san,” Naruto stared at him in shock. “Why not tell the ANBU that was so obviously standing there?”

Naruto glanced down at Konohamaru and gave a sad smile. “Ask the Hokage if you really want to know.”

And then the blood loss caught up with her and Konohamaru’s ‘nee-san’ collapsed, unconscious.


	3. Seen

Naruto woke up in a comfortable bed. Blood loss, extreme exhaustion, and barely sleeping before using her new abilities had caused her to collapse.

She was in a bed. A really,  _ really _ comfortable bed.

Naruto looked around. The Hokage looked at her from his seat next to her.

“You collapsed.” His voice was mild. “And Kakashi has informed me of your new abilities.”

Naruto said nothing for a few seconds.

“I heard you saved my grandson.” Sarutobi Hiruzen’s eyes twinkled. “And I assume you’ve been busy with your…extra studies?”

Naruto gave a sheepish grin.

“Hai!” she chirped. “I could, if I wanted to be, an iryonin! Plus with all the seal stuff I found in the shinobi library, I think I’m learning a lot…” the excitement drained out. She bit her lip as she sat up. “Uhm…Hokage-sama…”

The Hokage gave her a shocked look.

“Do you think…” Naruto took a deep breath. “Do you think it would be possible for me to see the Fourth’s notes on the  _ Hiraishin?” _

The Hokage hummed. “Nope. Only Hokages can see it.”

Disappointment covered Naruto’s face-then…

“It would be shocking if the Forbidden Scroll was in the exact same place. It would also be tragic if someone broke in, took a peek at the scroll, and put it back. And wouldn’t it be amazing if that person who did that looked  _ exactly _ like me?”

Naruto didn’t visibly perk up.

“Even more so tragic would be if they copied the  _ Hiraishin _ formula of both the Fourth and the Second,” the Hokage mused. “And to think this person could do it while the ANBU are distracted by something going on in the city by a troublemaker!”

Naruto nodded. “Okay, jiji. I got it.”

The Hokage smiled, then pat Naruto’s head.

“Sleep, Naruto. You’re in the Sarutobi compound. Asuma will come and get you when it’s time for you to meet your sensei.”

Naruto nodded and yawned.

~:~

Naruto woke up early.

_ Ne, Kurama, do you think I’m doing the right-? _

**You doubt yourself too much, kit.**

_ …I suppose I do, _ admitted Naruto softly. Then alarm pierced through her.  _ I forgot I was supposed to ‘work’! _

Naruto scrambled up and made the nice bed neat, grabbing her orange coat and writing a quick message as she hurried to leave.

_ Whoever this concerns, _

_ I forgot I had something to do! Sorry for leaving early, but I had to go! See you later, Jiji, Konohamaru, and Asuma-sensei! _

_ Uzumaki Naruto _

Naruto was glad it was the dead of night, the quietest part of the night. She tripped to her apartment and changed into her elegant clothes and performed the Sexy Jutsu. A whisker-less Tenshi appeared before her.

Tenshi darted out, jumping onto the ground elegantly.

The Red Light district saw an unusual sight that night-the Angel of the Red Light District was late to her job.

Tenshi entered. To her eternal gratitude, the Kaa-san must have forgotten that tonight was the night she was supposed to inspect. Ibiki stood there.

“Ah, Ibiki-san,” Tenshi greeted. “My apologies for being late tonight.”

Her green eyes surveyed the room. Sarutobi Asuma was sitting there, playing a game with a few ladies of the place.

“Is Asuma-san going to be joining us tonight?” purred Tenshi.

“Iie. I’m paying for this session,” Ibiki grinned.

“Ah, Ibiki-san, you’re too kind,” Tenshi tilted her head and smiled with closed eyes. “Asuma-san, we are a private group which operates solely in Konoha. Any village secrets are confidential.” Tenshi sashayed over to him. “Nobody in here kisses and tells.”

She offered him a hand.

He took it.

~:~

Naruto kind of had fun when she was  _ there. _ Of course, Naruto hadn’t been introduced to working in the brothel until she was twelve. Before, she only spoke to the ninja. Since she was twelve and had been able to give birth (according to the Kyuubi, who would not allow it until Naruto was like 21), she was introduced to it. Anko and Nerissa had fought against other, younger children that did the Sexy Jutsu being introduced to it, but Naruto had countered that it was  _ their _ choice. In the shinobi world, kunoichi earned most of their money doing seduction missions.

As for Neji…well, it really was his choice. If he wanted to learn how to be a kunoichi and do some seduction missions that went along with it…

Naruto took a deep breath as she took up her brush and watched in her mirror as the sun began to light up. She brushed her black hair and then stiffened.

Sand was drifting into her room.

She could feel the almost-paralyzing hatred this entity possessed.

“You’ll have to make an appointment if you want this to be official.” Naruto’s voice was calm as she continued brushing her hair.

Then she was pulled from her seat by a quick rope of sand, pinned on the ground.

The boy’s seafoam eyes stared at her.

“Who are you?” he questioned.

Naruto growled and broke the sand’s grip on her before backing away slightly. “I have to keep my identity a secret,” she said, looking slightly ashamed. She opened the door. “Goodbye.”

“Wait!”

She paused.

“My name is Gaara.”

A smile came upon Naruto’s face and she allowed one side of her face to be seen by him.

“…Goodbye, Gaara.”

Both angel and demon vanished from the room.

~:~

A ninken named Shomaru watched as ‘Tenshi’ stopped in front of the home with the loud boy. One nearly silent poof later, Shomaru and Inuzuka Tsume watched as Naruto was revealed.

Tsume stared. This was just a random patrol-what are the odds that this ‘Tenshi’ that some of the males in her clan went to on occasion was  _ Naruto? _

“Tadaima!” She distantly heard the kid call. No answer.

There was a surge of pity for the boy.

“Shomaru. Come. I have to go do something.”

Shomaru obediently followed the alpha woman back to their compound, so distracted they dismissed their mission entirely.

~:~

“Oi, Naruto!” Naruto looked at Kiba at the entrance to the Chuunin Exams.

“Kiba? What do you want?”

“Eh, my mom wants you to come over after this for dinner. Don’t bother dressing up!” he grinned.

Confused, Naruto scrambled to find a way out of this.

“Uh…” she looked at Hinata, who smiled encouragingly at her.

Naruto nearly groaned.

“Sure. Whatever.”

~:~

Naruto stared at the questions disbelievingly.

These were so… _ easy… _

With a sigh, the girl picked up the writing utensil and quickly finished it.

Within moments, she was done, the test turned over, and fast asleep on her paper.

She  _ had _ been going to work late and coming home early!


	4. Cheating

Ibiki smirked at the genin. They were pathetically  _ easy _ to terrify.

Well, except for the blonde, who was called a loudmouth and an idiot.

He felt a small stab of pity for the orange loudmouth. Stuck with a burden he didn’t want? It probably sucked.

But the kid was asleep.

When he told everyone of the tenth question, the orange idiot didn’t even stir.

Then Ibiki slammed his hand in front of the kid, and the kid jerked up.

“Ramen!” came the loud shriek.

That made several more frightened little pipsqueaks leave.

Now it was a battle between Oto, Konoha, Taki (whose teammates looked like they were frightened to death of the mint-haired girl), Suna, a few teams from the mysterious Ame (who looked kind of stupid with those gas masks), Kumo, Kuso, and the ever-hated Iwa.

Three teams from Oto, four from Konoha, three from Ame, Iwa, and Kuso, one from Taki, Suna, and Kumo each.

“Gaki. Why were you sleeping in the Exam?” Ibiki questioned seriously.

Konoha’s most unpredictable knuckleheaded ninja smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck.

“I was tired?” he suggested. He opened his eyes and alarm flashed through them before they slammed closed.

Ibiki smirked. “Do you think you’ll make it to the third round?”

The gaki shrugged. “It doesn’t matter! If I have to, I’ll be the first Hokage to be a genin!”

The gaki never opened his eyes for some reason.

“Oh?” Ibiki snorted. “You’ll end up being a piece of scum on the bottom of someone else’s shoes, just like the rest of your class.”

Naruto’s eyes opened. Defiance showed in his orbs.

“So be it,” Naruto said with a nasty smirk. “Then I’ll be scum, -ttebayo.”

Apparently this kid took Kakashi’s lessons to heart.

The glass smashed.

“Oi, Ibiki, there’s twice as many this time!” Ibiki watched her gaze turn to Naruto, and the Snake Mistress smirked evilly. “Orange kid giving you trouble?”

“Sleeping through the Exam,” Ibiki grunted. “You’re early, Anko.”

“I wanted to see this year’s prospects.” Hungry eyes roved the classroom. “Meet me at Training Ground 44 tomorrow! Orange, I’ll tell Boss you ain’t coming tonight.”

Naruto slammed his head on the desk.

~:~

Naruto followed Kiba quietly.

“Oi, dobe, you’re unusually quiet!” Kiba’s rather loud voice made Naruto jerk back to see Kiba actually looking at her in concern.

“Oi, keep your voice down, Kiba,” scolded a passing dog.

“Gomen,” Naruto said quietly. “I was just thinking of the C-Rank.”

“Yeah,” Kiba grinned. “I heard your mission went south!”

“Yeah, we were up against Momochi Zabuza, the Demon Brothers, and a kid a little older than us named Yuki Haku,” Naruto replied dully. “All four are dead, by the way.”

A necessary lie.

“Yeah, I heard Sakura telling everyone how- hey, Mom!” Kiba gestured Naruto in impatiently. Naruto followed Kiba to the table. All of them were sitting and eating, an awkward silence permeating the air before Kiba seemed to regain his thoughts. “I heard Sakura telling Ino how Sasuke beat the ice kid, breaking his ice mirrors.”

“What?” Naruto asked. Sakura…had  _ lied? _

Naruto could feel Kurama’s questioning thoughts, but Naruto only let Kurama view what she had just seen and heard. She was getting a little angry.

“Yeah,” Kiba said, “but I have a feeling since it was an A-Rank and almost an S-Rank, she kind of lied.”

Naruto nodded. “ _ I  _ broke Haku’s ice mirrors-Haku had rendered Sasuke immobile by senbon needles. He did get his Sharingan. But it was Kakashi-sensei who killed Haku…and Zabuza kind of died taking out Gato. It was bloody, and Sakura was as useless as she always is.”

Naruto realized how quiet it had become.

“Gomen,” she whispered. She could feel the change in their chakras, how shocked they were.

“No, it’s fine, it’s just from what I heard from the Exam proctor, you stick up for your teammates. What has your sensei been doing with you?” Kiba’s mom asked.

“Uh…” Naruto rubbed the back of her neck. “He normally just tells us to do suicide runs all day, then does a few D-Ranks, then dismisses Sakura and I while he teaches Sasuke.”

Kiba dropped his chopsticks.

“He taught us tree-walking and water-walking!” Naruto said, setting her chopsticks down, ready to defend her sensei.

“He’s a pervert, he doesn’t do much of anything except teach Sasuke, Sakura’s useless, you barely know any jutsu and basically run all the time…why the hell are you entering the Chuunin Exams?” Kiba exclaimed.

“Because I know a few other things,” Naruto grinned ferally. “Things sensei doesn’t know. And when we get to the center of the forest and have two scrolls, then I’ll get to cracking on it!”

Kiba stared at her.

“Naruto…you work with Anko…so does that mean that’s what the test is?”

Naruto gave a sly smile to Kiba. “It  _ is _ the Chuunin Exams, Kiba. It doesn’t end when the proctors vanish. I found out this information  _ from _ one of the proctors in my line of work, yes, but not Anko. I already have two of the same scrolls from someone from work, and I have it on good authority I’m getting the opposite scroll from a friend of a friend from work.”

Naruto was just confusing Kiba, she knew.

“But don’t worry. Head straight to the Tower and we’ll meet you there.” Naruto blatantly giving Kiba something to do with the Chuunin Exams in front of two jounin was smart. Technically, the Exams  _ were _ going on. And the jounin couldn’t really do anything until they were on duty.

Naruto had asked a favor from Izumo in her Tenshi form.

He’d agreed.

“You got balls, kid,” the dog at the feet of the lady said with a smirk.

Naruto chuckled, rubbing the back of her head.

“Nope, just smart,” Naruto smiled. “And my friend is good at her job.”

“Oh?” Kiba’s mom asked. “Was she the girl at your home last night?”

Naruto paled drastically.

“Mom,” Kiba said, frowning, “I thought you were patrolling last night.”

“Kiba, out,” she ordered. “Hana, you too. Shomaru and I have to talk to Naruto alone.”

Kiba grumbled, but left.

So did Hana.

The matriarch waited until they were gone, then gazed at the young woman in her home with ferocity. “You’re lying about Zabuza and Haku. But more importantly, you’re lying about that ‘friend’.”

Naruto looked down. “Inuzuka-san, I thank you for the meal-“

The matriarch pulled the girl in a hug.

“Gomen’nasai, Uzumaki Naruto. For everything this world has forced you through.”

Naruto gasped, not expecting such an apology.

“Arigatou, Inuzuka-san.”

“Tsume is my name.”


	5. Genius

“Bye, Tsume!”

“Bye, Mom!”

“Have a good exam!” Tsume said with a grin.

“See you soon, Tsume!” Naruto waved.

“So, Naruto…” Kiba slung an arm around Naruto. “When are you going to tell everyone you’re a girl?” he asked with a perverted grin.

“DIE, KIBA!” Kiba was slammed into the ground. “You tell anyone and I will swear innocence in front of Tsume!”

“Innocence of what?!”

“ME KILLING YOU, YOU BAKA!”

~:~

Naruto slipped silently around the gates, being ‘clumsy’ and stealing ‘Heaven’ and ‘Earth’ scrolls. She slipped one in Kiba’s back pocket, and kept one.

“Oi, dobe, hurry up!” Sasuke growled.

Naruto scowled. She hadn’t been able to test her Mokuton ability; Kaka-sensei had told her to keep it quiet. Not showing it to Sakura was a good idea.

The trees seemed to welcome her as she brushed her hand across one of the low-hanging branches.

Naruto slipped two separate scrolls into Team 10’s pouch.

She winked at Neji and TenTen. Both of them flushed, and then Naruto stood in front of a deserted gate.

“I can-“

“No,” Sasuke cut off. “We’re going to take some-“

Naruto silently took out two scrolls.

Sasuke scowled.

“I can spam clones,” Naruto offered. “So we can go directly to the Tower.”

Sasuke nodded shortly. “At least you’re thinking smarter, dobe.”

“Sasuke-kun!” Sakura squealed.

Naruto noticed Sasuke’s eye twitch, and another surge of anger in his chakra.

“Sakura.”

“WHAT?” Sakura turned to see icy blue eyes cutting into her with the hatred of a thousand suns.

“Shut up, Sakura,” Naruto’s voice was deadly soft. “Or else I will do  _ everyone _ a favor and do something terrible.” It wasn’t a question as to what; Sakura knew Naruto was being deadly serious.

Sasuke looked moderately impressed.

“Oi, dobe,” he said, noting the pack. “What did you bring?”

“Something to do when we reach the tower,” Naruto said with a smug look. “I’m going to prove everyone wrong.” Naruto gave a smirk. “You know that disturbance last night?”

Sasuke recalled, all right. Apparently most of the ANBU had been painted  _ bright pink. _ And Naruto had been chased through the village the entire night.

“Let’s just say the chase hasn’t ended yet.”

~:~

Naruto, Sasuke, and a silent Sakura broke the record for the quickest Tower entering, taking out two teams with a Katon jutsu and a bunch of kicking and punching and biting clones.

Now, they settled down and Naruto opened the formulas for the Nidaime’s and the Yondaime’s  _ Hiraishin  _ technique.

Leaving a clone there with another clone just in case, Naruto left the building and made her way to a rather secluded training area.

“Let’s see if I can do this.”

Naruto, four days later, made her way back with a triumphant smirk on her face. She’d done it! With the amount of studying she’d done, she found that she needed to feel a connection with the kunai and the seal; the Nidaime had no seals to perfect  _ his _ jutsu, but that was different because the Nidaime preferred to be silent and deadly.

She’d created a seal similar to it, and finally felt that necessary connection. Dispelling the clones, Naruto hopped in with the odd-looking kunai and smiled a little.

She was different, but that was okay.

She’d mastered her father’s technique in less than a week.

She thought he’d be proud.

~:~:~

IN THE SHINIGAMI’S STOMACH

“I CANNOT BELIEVE IT!” Several other souls were shocked out of their eternal torment as they looked at the soul that was enduring looking at his child growing up without him. “MY BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER MASTERED THE  _ HIRAISHIN… _ ” He paused dramatically. Everyone in the Shinigami’s stomach waited breathlessly-was it in two years instead of four? Was it less than a year? Surely it couldn’t be less than a month!

“…IN FOUR  _ FUCKING _ DAYS!”

Everyone in the Shinigami’s stomach wanted a look at the kid, and when they saw her they stared.

She was training…in a  _ yellow flash. _ Well, more like an  _ orange  _ flash.

But still.

“Kushina would be so proud of her baby!” Minato sniffled.

Nobody there knew who Kushina was, so…they didn’t care.

“But she’s definitely an Uzumaki seal master!”

Okay,  _ now _ they knew who ‘Kushina’ was.

And if Naruto was a girl…and a jinchuuriki…

…oh, crap. Whoever crossed Kushina was dead…but they kind of felt bad for those that crossed Naruto.

An Uzumaki-Namikaze, the product of a marriage…Namikaze  _ had _ ended up in the Shinigami’s stomach relatively young, so…

He was a genius.

Well, crap.


	6. Half-Truths

IN THE PURE WORLD…

Kushina squealed. “Oh, my beautiful little girl…” she itched to hug her. “Good job! I really hoped you got my chakra chains, too!”

“Who?” Senju Hashirama appeared and looked out at the child. “Who’s she?”

“My beautiful daughter!” Kushina beamed. “Jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi, descended from you and Mito from Minato’s side, and my daughter! I hope she gets the Uzumaki longevity, healing bite,  _ and _ chakra chains! Squee!” She literally  _ squealed. _

Hashirama blinked. “Where’s the dad?”

Kushina shrugged. “Probably still in the Shinigami’s stomach. He died the same night I did, -ttebane! Now my darling baby knows  _ Hiraishin!” _

“Who did what now?” Uzumaki Mito crowded around the Uzumaki who had the main bloodline.

“My husband, Namikaze Minato,” Kushina beamed. “We gave birth to an  _ amazing _ baby girl~”

Mito looked down upon said child and nodded as Naruto was working on fuuinjutsu.

“Yes, you did.”

“She’s also the jinchuuriki of the Yang half of the Kyuubi,” added Kushina with a small scowl.

Mito’s eyes widened, and Hashirama choked on whatever he was about to say.

Then, “Your husband gave a  _ girl _ the  _ male half _ of the Kyuubi? What an idiot.”

Kushina whirled around to glare at Tobirama, who had said that.

“You…” Even in the Pure World, Kushina defied all odds and her hair lifted up in bunches. “INSULT MY HUSBAND AGAIN, I DARE YOU!”

~:~

IN THE SHINIGAMI’S STOMACH

Minato stared at his daughter before a feeling a gratitude came from nowhere.

“Kushina must be defending my honor.”

~:~

IN KONOHAGAKURE NO SATO

Naruto pored over the Fuuinjutsu book and copied down a few designs before giving up and reading the book.

It was very interesting. Fuuinjutsu went a long way to making a physical barrier around something to making a prison camp. It was shocking, the many uses of fuuinjutsu.

She set the book in her lap and gazed at the opposite wall, near the door.

_ Oi, Kurama. You there? _

**Good job, kit. You okay?** Kurama’s concern was valid-Naruto hadn’t slept for a while.

_ Fine. I was just wondering if I could change the Shiki Fujin seal. _ Naruto already had control of Kurama’s chakra, and at ten had successfully become partners with her bijuu.  _ Not too much, as it’s powered by the Shinigami, but give you some change in scenery, -ttebayo. _

**Kit, mindscapes are set. Well, mostly. They reflect** **_you_ ** **, which means your shitty-as-hell mindscape will change as you grow.** Kurama paused.  **But you** **_can_ ** **add to it.**

_ WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY SO, YOU BAKA?! _

**OI, WHO ARE YOU CALLING A BAKA?**

“Naruto!”

Naruto’s hand jerked off of her stomach and she looked at her sensei.

“Hey, Kaka-sensei, what’s up?” She started leisurely gathering her items up, noting that Sakura and Sasuke were out of the room, but their items were still there.

“You should start getting ready, kiddo. In two hours the Hokage’s going to be making an announcement,” he eyesmiled…but it lacked something. “And, Naruto? You know the Kuso teams?”

Naruto nodded.

“Care to explain to me how it’s possible that Momochi Zabuza and his apprentice are alive?”

Naruto’s heart skipped, and she couldn’t breathe.

Kakashi’s lone eye opened and hardened.

“I may be a lenient teacher, but I don’t like being lied to,” he said to her.

Naruto gulped. “I…” She paused. Then anger formed in the pit of her stomach. “I couldn’t let them die, okay?” she snapped. “I made a blood-clone with a Kage bunshin variant. I used some of theirs and my blood. Two perfect clones; the memories would go back to Haku  _ and _ Zabuza, because that was their personality.”

“And when did you do this?”

“During the training afternoon I left and was alone, okay? I created a bunshin and slipped away and pretended to be a woman in desperate need of direction, and I knocked Zabuza unconscious and took some of his blood. And I met Haku while he was flower-picking, and I got some of his blood after knocking  _ him _ unconscious.”

Okay, not  _ quite _ the truth, but it was close enough if she didn’t want to tell Kakashi she pretended to be a traveling prostitute on her way to Yuki no Kuni and waited until Zabuza was asleep from exhaustion and a drug coated on Naruto’s lips to prick his finger and leave quickly, having to knock Haku out and take some of  _ his  _ blood on the way out and then creating the blood clones.

Besides, she still received the occasional letter from Haku. The first one had been addressed to her by ‘Yuki’ and it was a message of gratitude.

Plus, Zabuza  _ had  _ sent enough money from Wave to let Naruto pay the inflated prices for her meals with a message that had made her scarlet:  _ Hope you can ‘help’ again ;) Z _

Mostly she suspected that was his way of saying ‘thanks’ to the brothel worker who was very thorough in saving someone…

“Interesting.” Kakashi eyed Naruto, then chuckled. “I suppose Kuso’s original team wasn’t that good, despite the fact an Uzumaki is on that team.”

Naruto’s head shot up. “Nani?” Naruto gasped.

Kakashi smiled. “Yep. She’s been in the tower a couple of days; she was in the cafeteria the last time I saw her.”

Naruto stuffed the rest of her items in her pack and darted out the door.

**Kit, wait. There’s something you have to know. In order to protect you from Kumo people-who are** **_notorious_ ** **in being bloodline-stealers, you had a seal put on you that hides your true looks. She won’t think that you’re an Uzumaki because of your hair.**

_ Got it, Kurama! Thanks! I’ll check the seal out later! _

Naruto walked into the cafeteria, then saw a redhead.

_ Pretty _ redhead. And a girl. Ah, well.

Naruto walked up to her, noticing another lady with the ‘Oto’ symbol on her hitai-ate.

“Oi, pretty redhead, are you an Uzumaki?!”

Her shout caused the hostilities between the chuunin hopefuls to temporarily cease.

“What do you want, gaki/loudmouth?!” the Oto girl and the Kuso girl shouted.

“Wait, you’re an Uzumaki too?” Naruto asked the Oto girl, who viciously stabbed her food. “Cool! That means we’re family, -ttebayo! I’m Uzumaki Naruto, and don’t think I’m not ‘cause of the hair, -ttebayo!” Her verbal tic became more noticeable as her excitement grew.

She watched their shocked faces turn to angry ones with amusement.

“Don’t lie!” the obvious Uzumaki growled. “There aren’t  _ any _ besides me and the Oto chick!”

“I’M NOT LYING!” Naruto shouted. She growled in frustration and bit her thumbs and placed them on the two girls’ foreheads with the help of a shadow clone and drew them into her seal with her.


	7. Familial Ties

Karin stared apprehensively at the shitty sewer around her. Seriously, what was this place?

“This is my mindscape,” the blonde said. “And I have a certain prisoner here, and  _ she’s _ the one that will tell ya.”

The brat walked in front of the two, and after glancing at the not-so-obvious Uzumaki who was scowling, but following, Karin followed.

“Oi, Kyuu! Wake up!”

**“Brat, you get me to ‘wake up’ like a dog again I will** **_eat_ ** **you,”** a thunderous voice growled.

“Tch. You love me too much!” called the blonde.

**“Tch. Damn Uzumaki brat. Why are you ruining my beauty sleep, huh, Naruto?”** the dark tunnel ended in front of tall gates…which were open...

The body of the Kyuubi no Kitsune was revealed, first from the tip of a claw and then the rest of the body. It was clear that whatever seal that had been used was still in employment as the Kyuubi had markings all over its body, starting from the middle of her back.

“You…have the KYUUBI sealed in you…you’re  _ definitely _ an Uzumaki,” Karin said shakily. “So are you going to do the CRA?”

The Clan Restoration Act  _ would _ be a viable act, too…

The Kyuubi laughed.  **“Kit, I like her! You should keep her!”**

Naruto was sulking.

“No, I’m a  _ girl! _ ”

“You must get a  _ lot _ of shit for that, shithead,” the third person in the area whistled.

Naruto shrugged. “Nah, not really. I haven’t told anyone but you two…and if you can…” She took a deep breath. “Please don’t die! With the Kyuubi healing everything to a pierced heart to my entire body, I can’t really die all that well, so…please! For me!”

**“I’d listen to the kit. She** **_is_ ** **technically the Uzumaki clan head,”** smiled the fox.

“Aw, crap. That means I’m gunna have to obey this shithead and not Orochimaru-sama?” the pinkette muttered.

**“You** **_will_ ** **obey Naruto instead of that slime-infested snake,”** the Kyuubi roared.  **“I will** **_not_ ** **have a member of my kit’s clan acting like a servant. It’s below you. Naruto, after the preliminary round, I will have to ask you to come back, because we need to have a** **_long_ ** **discussion.”**

“Okay, Kyuu!”

There was a wave of red chakra, and instantly they were back in the cafeteria, which Kakashi was just entering.

“You three, hurry up! The Hokage wants to speak!”

~:~

The Hokage watched the Tsuchikage, Kazekage, Otokage (who had risen to ‘Otokage’ simply by the fact his name was uttered in hushed company), the Mizukage, and the beefy Raikage, who had all come to Konoha to witness the new batch of potential Konoha chuunin-and to see if there was any there who had potential to be stolen away. He watched with concealed amusement at Ohnoki, who clenched the railing in front of him, when Naruto was revealed.

Ohnoki turned, rage reddening his face, to see the blank-faced Hokage staring at him.

“You-“

The man was cut off by the blonde mini-flash bounding up to them.

“Ohayo, Hokage-jiji!” the kid called.

“Naruto-kun. You’re almost as late as your sensei,” he said with a grandfatherly smile.

Naruto rubbed the back of his head. “I got lost on the road of life and met some strangers who called themselves my family, -ttebayo!” The Hokage smiled and walked to the forefront of the area.

“That’s good, Naruto-kun. Get in line with your squad.”

“Hai~” Naruto said in an almost girlish sing-song way.

The Kage watched Naruto get in line in front of his squad, with Sasuke behind him and a pinkette behind Sasuke.

Hmm, things would be interesting indeed…

~:~

Most of the matches were boring. Well, Naruto kind of vowed to destroy Neji, but other than that, Sakura and Ino were tied, Kiba and some guy named Dosu fought and Dosu was killed by Kiba, who was so traumatized by it that he flipped his s—t and basically forfeited. Gaara almost crushed Lee’s legs, but surprisingly spared him for some reason after Naruto yelled ‘don’t!’. Hinata fought Neji and Neji apologized, but Naruto was angry. Temari beat Tenten, Shikamaru’s opponent forfeited, Chouji lost his match because he had no chakra, and Shino won.

Out of the Konoha shinobi, only Neji, Shikamaru, and Shino won.

Naruto was nervous. She had to fight Sasuke, and because she vowed not to use the  _ Hiraishin _ and Mokuton until the actual matches and asked Kurama for only one refill…she was doomed.

She stood in front of Sasuke nervously. She was  _ terrified  _ of making a fool out of herself! Taking a deep breath, she let a big smile fill her face.

She was going to go for the three basic things Kakashi had taught them: Ninjutsu, Genjutsu, and Taijutsu.

**Kit, you can do this,** Kurama encouraged.

_ I know, _ she replied, though she was  _ positive _ her mental voice was high and squeaky.  _ I’m terrified! _

**If he uses Sharingan on us, I’m going to flip out,** Kurama cheerfully forewarned her.  **Most likely he’ll use Chidori on you.**

_ But Kakashi told him not- _

**Gaki, this is the one time that he can really get away with killing you. Use fuuinjutsu tags. I’ll help if the time arises.**

_ Hai, hai. I’ll win. _

Naruto waited. Sasuke didn’t smile.

“Hajime!” called the proctor.

“Kage bunshin no jutsu!” Naruto yelled. Two hundred Naruto’s appeared, one of them in the back hanging there, readying to use another set of shadow clones.

Taijutsu was first. Sasuke dominated the first batch of clones.

Naruto, under the ground, hurried with her sealing tags.

_ If I don’t win, I’ll be labeled a loser. _ Naruto drew faster.  _ Every line has to be perfect. I don’t need too many; I can use some shadow clones as tags. _ Kurama’s approval at her idea made her grin.

When her final clone was finally dispelled, she was back where it had been standing, her fingers in the cross position.

“Oh, no you don’t!” yelled Sasuke.

“SEXY JUTSU!” Naruto turned into her big-breasted blonde form, not her big-chested, yet delicate-looking, gorgeous ‘Tenshi’ form.

She used the smoke to call out some more shadow clones silently, and when the smoke vanished you could hear a pin drop as  _ every _ person stared at the big-chested lady with strategically placed smoke that was  _ slowly _ moving away…and then…

“AAH! TSUCHIKAGE-SAMA!”

“RAIKAGE-SAMA! NOO!

“HOKAGE-SAMA!”

“Old perverts…” the Kazekage sweatdropped.

“Idiots,” scoffed the Otokage.

The Mizukage said nothing. He was, apparently, a man of few words.

Then Naruto took a deep breath and dispelled the jutsu as Sasuke was lured into her trap. Smoke covered the area and Naruto called out, “Sexy Harem Jutsu!”

A literal  _ dozen _ blonde femme fatales appeared, and Sasuke growled and lunged-

“FUUIN!” Naruto bellowed. A purple barrier formed around Sasuke, making him immobile. Naruto smirked and lowered her hands a little. “Containment Uzumaki Seal complete,” she grinned. “Give up, Sasuke, you can’t get out. Your chakra will be sucked out until you’re unconscious.”

Sasuke glared, his eyes spinning into their Sharingan forms.

“Let me out, dobe,” he growled. Naruto lifted her hands into the ‘ram’ sign.

“Your chakra levels are down to less than half.” Naruto walked over to look him in the eye. “If you can’t beat the  _ dead last, _ how the hell will you kill  _ him, _ Sasuke?”

Rage filled Sasuke’s face, and he punched the barrier. It didn’t budge.

“Your chakra levels are going down~” Naruto said in a sing-song voice. “Kai!”

The barrier vanished, and Naruto sank a fist in Sasuke’s face. Sasuke flew from the force of the punch and hit the wall, creating a Sasuke-shaped imprint.

Naruto clapped, and three bunshin popped up from three of the sides.

“Yo, boss!” greeted one. “Here’s the fuuinjutsu seal!”

Naruto grabbed it and looked at the proctor, who waited a few seconds.

“Uchiha Sasuke is knocked out, which makes Uzumaki Naruto the winner by default,” he announced.

Naruto smiled  _ big. _

~:~

“I WON, KAKA-SENSEI! I CAN’T BELIEVE IT!” Naruto cheered. Kakashi rubbed Naruto’s head. Naruto looked honestly happy, a rare feat-Kakashi  _ knew _ when his student was faking emotions.

“Good job, Naruto,” Kakashi eyesmiled. “But you need to find a teacher to teach you things.”

Naruto looked at Kakashi with confused eyes.

“Why?”

Kakashi looked at his pupil. “I have to train up Sasuke. The-“

Naruto knocked Kakashi’s hand off of his head and scoffed.

“Right. It’s always Sasuke. Ja ne.”

Naruto was gone within an instant.


	8. Wanted

Naruto appeared in the ramen stand, frowning a little.

“Ayame-nee-chan…” Ayame looked at the younger girl. “I won against Sasuke in the preliminaries.”

Ayame frowned. Why would Naruto be sad-

“And Kakashi’s going to train Sasuke when he didn’t even make it to the final round.” Ayame stared at Naruto.

“Naruto-chan…” Ayame walked around the bar and lifted the thirteen-year old in a touching moment.

“I’m scared, Aya-nee.”

Ayame’s grip tightened.

Naruto was scared she was going to get beaten for beating Sasuke.

“Let’s work here tonight, ‘kay?” Ayame smiled. “Why don’t you tell me what you’ve done this week?”

“Well…I mastered a jutsu my tousan made.” Naruto grinned as she followed Ayame into the back. “And kicked a few teams’ butts with mass shadow clone usage. Oh! Guess what? I found family! Blood relatives!”

Teuchi dropped his noodle-bashing thingy, while Ayame dropped and broke a bowl.

“But I think I know you better, -ttebayo? I don’t want to leave Karin and Tayuya all alone anymore.” Naruto frowned. “And I’ll probably be getting enough money that I won’t have to work as often, but I’ll still work there to help others! That’s my promise to you, Aya-nee-chan!”

Ayame smiled and ruffled Naruto’s hair.

~:~

That night, an Aburame clan member appeared at Naruto’s ‘work’, while she was busy massaging Zabuza, who’d smirked at her and then thanked her gruffly before demanding a massage.

“Naruto.” The Kaa-san of the brothel, a woman named Shuki, opened the door. “You have another customer after this one.” The Kaa-san cared for the women, and they all knew self-defense. While the woman may not look it, she was like a mother bear and  _ could _ hurt  _ Kurama _ if Kurama had hurt any of her workers.

Naruto flinched as Zabuza tensed. She hadn’t exactly told the swordsman her  _ real _ identity.

The Kaa-san’s eyes went wide.

“I’ll leave. Hurt her and I’ll kill you,” threatened Shuki to Zabuza.

The door was closed, and Naruto got off the former missing-nin’s back.

She placed her hands in her lap.

“You’re the brash kid who Haku spoke to.” Disbelief was in Zabuza’s tone.

“Hai.” Naruto looked down. “I work here for money.”

She tensed as Zabuza stood up.

“You got balls, kid.”

Naruto peeked through her lashes. He was  _ grinning _ at her.

“What exactly did you do that day?”

“I drugged you with a drug I’m immune to,” Naruto admitted, “after we slept together. You’re rough.” She grinned at him, basically giving him a compliment. “And my ‘traveling to Yuki no Kuni’ was just a lie told to you so I could get in your bed to drug you and steal your blood for a technique that transferred your feelings and what you would actually do to a clone.”

She flinched a little when he set his hand on her head and rubbed it a couple times.

“Like I said, kid. You’re  _ ballsy.” _

He took his big sword and walked out, a  _ henge _ setting on his body, enough of one to fool even the Sandaime.

Then the Aburame entered the room.

“If you don’t mind bugs, I would like a massage.”

Naruto nearly groaned. Why was everyone asking for  _ massages _ tonight?

“Do you mind if I use a jutsu that I learned off of a child I have been watching over?” she asked. “I am rather tired today, as I had quite a bit to do.”

“Of course not.” The Aburame man took off his coat.

Wow…his face really  _ was  _ blank.

She used the now-familiar cross sign and another copy of her appeared. She was dead tired, but she helped the lethargic clone massage the Aburame man’s back.

After about twenty minutes, he spoke.

“My kikaichu settle around you. They usually only do so in that way around my wife.”

“Oh?” Tenshi-Naruto asked. “Is your wife an Aburame?”

“No.” The Aburame sounded bland. “My wife is an Inuzuka. I believe she is Tsume-sama’s sister. Tsume-sama told the Aburame clan of your plight, Uzumaki-san.”

“Please don’t make me quit, I help out a lot of people with the money I make here,” Naruto said, calm on the outside but inwardly panicking.

“I would not do such a thing,” said the Aburame man. “Not if that is what you truly desire. Just listen to me.” The Aburame spoke to her. “My wife and I, due to the nature of our separate clans, can not logically have a child that belongs to both. Since hearing that you are all alone, my wife, Kahara, and I, Shiki, wish to adopt you into the Aburame and Inuzuka clans both.”

After his statement, Naruto just sat there on his back for a minute, her clone still massaging it.

“Er…okay?” Naruto said. “But why send you? No offense intended,” she added hastily.

“You know my nephew, Shino, and Kahara’s nephew, Kiba. Tsume thought you would do well in our home.”

Naruto took a deep breath and got off her soon-to-be adoptive parents.

“Alright…as long as I, A) still have my original last name and abilities, and B) still have my freedom.”

The Aburame nodded and put his jacket on. “Indeed, it would not do for you to lose your Uzumaki nature. All your current-and later-Uzumaki abilities will exist. As you have your burden, I do not think kikaichu would be able to drain you of your chakra at any point, no matter how many colonies attacked you.” He walked to the door. “I shall speak with the Sandaime in the morning.”

Naruto smiled at her clone with unrestrained glee.

_ Two _ clans wanted to adopt her! She was such a lucky girl!

~:~

The morning arrived. Naruto hadn’t slept, and upon entering her home she dropped the ‘Tenshi’ jutsu and whooped.

She started packing everything up and storing them into scrolls; Mr. Ukki the plant stayed out as she poured some chakra into it and watched it grow.

She did this in the privacy of her bathroom. Now Mr. Ukki looked like he’d been watered religiously for a year!

Suddenly, there was a knock. “Uzumaki-san?”

Naruto bounced out and then deflated when she saw Closet Perv in her doorway.

She scowled, then smiled up at him brightly.

“What’s up, Closet Perv?” she greeted cheerfully. “What are we learning?”

“Follow me and you’ll see,” Closet Perv said, pushing his glasses up.

**It pisses me off to see the disdain in their eyes,** Kurama growled.

_ Easy, _ Naruto cautioned.  _ We don’t want to  _ not _ get adopted!  _ A smile bloomed on her face again.

No, nothing could ruin her day today.

Not even the glares. She was smiling so big it was like a ray of sunshine passed through the marketplace as Naruto happily skipped to the place Ebisu was taking her.

“Now, walk on the water,” Ebisu said as he got positioned in front of the bathhouses.

Naruto’s mood went dark. Okay, this guy had just ruined her day.

She made the handsign for the Sexy Jutsu (blonde version) and used a  _ henge _ to wrap a towel around her and screamed, “PERVERT!” while pointing at Ebisu.

Women came out of the bathhouse, mad as hornets. Naruto dispelled her Sexy Jutsu and jumped onto the water and smirked.

She wasn’t Uzumaki Naruto, Konoha’s Number One Most Unpredictable Ninja for  _ nothing,  _ after all.

She noticed a white-haired guy standing there, writing things in a notebook.

Her eyes popped out-she recognized him!

She came up sneakily beside him.

“Aren’t you the writer of the Icha Icha books?” Naruto asked. She’d read them. They were boring. Really boring-there was no good plot in the books! Would it kill the guy to have a decent plot and have some smut? I mean, come on!

“I am!” he looked at her, then frowned. “Wait a second, you’re too young to-“

“Ah, they’re good, they just lack plot,” Naruto nodded. “I know!” She acted like she just made that up. “How about I give you some  _ inspiration, _ and you teach me some jutsu, old man?”

The pervert raised an eyebrow. “No offense, kid, but how can you give me inspir-“

Naruto was instantly back in her naked blonde version with smoke in strategic places, smoke that move to cover her nudity.

Jiraiya was blown back by his nosebleed. “DEEEAAAL!”

Naruto grinned foxily as she turned back to herself again.

_ I hope this old guy has a good explanation, _ she thought to herself a bit grimly.  _ Because I know he’s my godfather. _

“Excuse me,” an ANBU guy-Yamato, the only guy in the village other than Naruto herself that could do Mokuton-said in an emotionless voice. “Uzumaki-san, the Hokage requests your presence.”

Naruto nodded, but inside she was bursting with excitement.


	9. Council, Tattoos, and a Fox

The council stared at Shiki and Kahara, speechless in shock.

“A-hem,” the Hokage cleared his throat, causing everyone to stop staring and to listen to the man. “As Uzumaki Naruto is the holder of the Kyuubi, it isn’t really-“

“It is not illogical to give the holder of the Kyuubi a home,” Shiki interrupted. “The Nara clan head seems to agree.”

The Hokage looked towards said clan head.

“The Kyuubi was something a rogue Uchiha let loose,” said Shikaku. “I highly think that Uzumaki should get adopted. The kid lives alone.”

“So does the Uchiha heir,” put in Koharu, one of the advisors.

“Yes, and he has to live in the place where his entire family was slaughtered by his older brother. I’m sure that does wonders for his psyche,” drawled Kahara, which drew a snort from Tsume. “Look, the clan heads have already voted. Once Uzumaki-san becomes a jounin, he’ll be let out of the reach of any clans, as that’s the legal age for civilians.”

It was a good bargain. Adopting Naruto into two clans was a good idea…

“I must bring up one point,” the Hokage reluctantly said. “Here is a certificate stating that Naruto was to marry Shikamaru when he was eighteen. Would you rather have him marry him now, or-?

“My wife was the one who wrote the agreement with that Habanero,” the lazy Nara replied. “Ask her.” Heads went to Yoshino, who everyone knew was the true clan head (Shikaku was way too lazy to be).

Yoshino frowned. “Well, it  _ _is__  kind of strange, as he  _ _is__  probably going to have to restore his clan to its former glory one day, but the agreement  _ _was__  made with the intent to honor it no matter what, so yes. Better marry them now, but let them live separately.”

“Shikamaru’s not going to be happy about this…” Shikaku said.

Yoshino slammed her fist on his head. “He better accept it!” she growled.

The council doors opened, and the Uzumaki kid in his bright, kill-me-orange jumpsuit walked forward,

“Hokage-jiji, you wanted to see me?”

The Hokage smiled. “Naruto, the council has decided-“

Danzou scoffed; the Hokage shot him a withering look filled with KI.

“-that you will be blood adopted into the Aburame and Inuzuka clan households. Under,” he said, lifting a finger, “the condition that you marry Nara Shikamaru…soon.”

Naruto’s jaw dropped. “NANI?! Okay, I’ll do it…on the condition Shikamaru agrees.” Naruto grinned.

“Mendokuse. Shikamaru, do you agree?” Shikaku asked his son, who had been shoved in right after Naruto.

Shikamaru shrugged. “It’ll be troublesome, but whatever. I don’t care.”

So it was set. Naruto had to let some of Shiki’s and Kahara’s blood mingle with his through a cut hand, but after that, it was done.

“When’s the wedding?” asked Shikaku, who was answered by the Sandaime.

“After the Chuunin Exams,” he said with a grandfatherly smile. “Now off. Go pack,” he said to Naruto, who bowed and then jumped out with his new parents in tow, Shikamaru following.

~:~

Shikamaru didn’t have a problem with Naruto because all facts he knew about Naruto pointed to one thing: Naruto was a girl. 

Naruto ate an obscene amount of ramen when someone else was paying because Naruto had higher stamina, and therefore a fast metabolism.

Adding to the fact that he’d been near enough to Naruto enough times to smell her distinctly female scent, it was obvious: Naruto. Was. Female.

Besides, he bet that having Naruto in the Nara/Aburame/Inuzuka clans was going to be hectic, but fun.

After all, it was  _ _Naruto__  he was talking about.

~:~

The next day Naruto got new tattoos under her eyes to signify her status as an Inuzuka member. She was (for now) Inuzuka-Aburame-Namikaze-Uzumaki Naruto (but she was totally going to keep writing down the simple ‘Uzumaki Naruto’ she’d grown used to). 

In about a week, she was going to get her first kikaichu swarm, and after about a week of getting used to them, she was going to go with Jiraiya to do some training outside the village.

Now, though, she had to choose her ninken friend.

Her whisker marks were still prominent on her face, but the tattoos made her look kind of fierce. Her blonde hair was starting to get streaks of red through it, which was pleasing to her; she  _ _liked__  the strands of tomato-red hair that were starting to show.

“Hey, Naruto!” Kiba’s yell made her look over at him sharply.

She jogged over to him and his team, who looked at her strangely-or, well,  _ _Kiba__  and  _ _Hinata__  did, as did their sensei.

“Hey, Kiba,” she grinned. “I’m your adopted cousin! Kahara-kaa-san blood-adopted me, -ttebayo!”

“KAHARA ADOPTED YOU?!” Kiba shrieked.

“Ah, Naruto! How’s the newest clan member?” Tsume said from behind her rather warmly.

“I’m fine, Aunt Tsume,” Naruto smiled a little.

“Good,” Tsume beamed. She looked at Kiba. “Kiba, she is now your cousin. Respect her. Aburame-san, she’s your cousin, too. Blood-adopted.”

Shino nodded sharply at her. “I believe you won’t have an issue with kikaichu. Why? My kikaichu seem to settle around you.”

Tsume smiled at Naruto. “I know you were eager to get a ninken friend, but a vixen snuck into the compound and won’t leave.” She grimaced. 

Kurama did something that sounded suspiciously like laughing.

__Kurama…I’m going to kill you if you made that fox come here._ _

****Nope. You’re like the top vixen of the foxes; I’m sure all of them would follow you as pack leader.** **

“May I see the vixen?” Naruto asked politely. “I may have a connection to her,” she added at Tsume’s slightly confused look. Tsume’s face showed sympathy and understanding.

Tsume led her to the vixen, whose fur was a deep russet color. Her tail was sleek and was tipped with black, a ring of white right before it.

Her eyes were a pretty golden color.

Naruto placed her hand on the fox’s head.

“ _ _Uzumaki-sama__.” The fox spoke, bowing her head. “ _ _Please take me as your companion.”__

“If that’s what you want,” Naruto smiled. “And my name’s Naruto. Yours?”

__“Violet.”_ _

“I like it.” She looked at Tsume, only to see a huge smile on Tsume’s face.

“Oi, Shiki! I think she’s ready for her kikaichu!”

“NANI? BUT I THOUGHT YOU SAID-“

“You took a couple  _ _minutes__  to bond with your fox, girl!”

Naruto would’ve cursed if she hadn’t been being dragged away by a stoic-looking Shiki.

“MOTHER-“

“YOU FINISH THAT WORD AND NO RAMEN FOR A WEEK!”

“SO CRUEL!”


	10. Honor of A Friend and Ero-Sennin

It took a week for Naruto’s system to adjust for the kikaichu. Naruto had a nagging feeling about that (Kyuubi!). Shiki took it upon himself to impress upon her logic (which she pretended to understand) and patience, as well as telling her about patterns of a kikaichu.

Shikamaru, as lazy as he was, decided to pay her a few visits.

With flowers.

“I hope you like them,” he said with a sigh. “They’re the ones I thought you’d like.” He seemed a bit embarrassed.

“Look, if you don’t want to marry me, just tell your mom,” Naruto said to him. “It’s better than forcing yourself to do that.”

“I think you’re pretty cool for a girl,” he told her bluntly. “I think marrying you is the best choice I could make, to be completely honest.”

“Oh…” Naruto said in a rather small voice. Then… “Thank you.”

“Tch, troublesome, but you’re welcome.”

~:~

“Yo!” Jiraiya popped in front of Naruto, who had been learning the Gatsuga jutsu with her fox  _ _and__  the dog that had been following her around.

Apparently the dog really liked her and was impressed by her, so the dog had become her unofficial second ninken.

Naruto’s bugs buzzed out, but Naruto calmed them down with a small spike of her chakra. It was really strange to feel them crawling under her skin. She was pretty sure she’d be fine if nothing sat on her, and having Kurama feed them some of Kurama’s chakra made them resilient.

“Hey,” Naruto nodded. “Hey…do you think I could learn to summon toads?”

She was kind of excited about maybe doing that. She  _could_ keep her bugs under control, so…maybe if she pointed out the fact she had been blood adopted by the Aburame clan, they’d accept her as a summoner?

Jiraiya grinned. “Come on, let’s find out.”

They walked a little ways out of the village.

“So, Naruto, are those your ninken?” He gestured to the fox and dog.

“This is Violet,” Naruto said, placing a hand on her head. “This is…actually, he still hasn’t been named, I think.”

“Why don’t you name it after me, the Gallant Sage of Mt. Myo-“

“No way in hell am I naming my ninken friend  _Jiraiya _.__  No…I think…” Naruto stopped walking for a minute. “I think I’ll name you…Shisui.”

Jiraiya paused. “Where did you hear that name?”

Naruto rubbed the newly named Shisui’s head.

“I had an Uchiha friend named Shisui. He died, though, when I was seven or eight. He died right before the Massacre.” Naruto’s reply was soft.

“If you were friends with Shisui-“ began Jiraiya, but Naruto shook her head and looked at Jiraiya with wet eyes.

“Please don’t,” she pleaded with him. “Don’t mention him. Please.”

_Don’t mention Weasel-or as you know him, Itachi. Please._

Jiraiya nodded shortly. “I think here’s a good place. Let me see your seal.”

Naruto raised her shirt. Thankfully she was still as flat as a washboard in the chest department.

“Channel chakra.” Naruto did as ordered, and the seal of the Shinigami appeared. It wasn’t altered that much.

“It looks fine,” Jiraiya commented, surprised.

“No duh, it’s powered by the friggin’  _Shinigami _,__ ” Naruto scoffed. “Seriously, I really don’t think the Shinigami’s seal is easily screwed with by anyone but an Uzumaki.”

Naruto let her shirt fall down.

“Well, no need to snap, gaki. Anyway, kid, let’s get to summoning toads.”

Naruto frowned as he opened the contract. “Uh, can I just sign my name as ‘Uzumaki Naruto’, as it’s basically a blood tribute that’s demanded and not the name of the summoner that makes a huge difference?”

“I never thought of it like that,” Jiraiya said, holding his chin. “I suppose. But don’t worry if you just summon a tadpole.”

Naruto scowled at him, wrote her name down and smeared her blood in it.

She performed the required handsigns, and chakra started to become visible. Unknown to Naruto, it was a mix between red, silver, green, a dark-almost purple-blue, and a light blue, with a couple visible yellow wisps in it.

“Kuchiyose no jutsu!” she yelled after biting her thumb and slamming it down.

A huge swath of smoke filled the area.

When it cleared-

“NARUTO, YOU SUMMONED  _HIM?!”_

“…I guess? Who’s the geezer toad?”

“Jiraiya-chan, who summoned me?”

“Uzumaki Naruto, Fukasaku-sama.”

“Uh…is there something I’m missing, Ero-sennin?”

~:~

“I see,” the geezer toad said, nodding from his perch on Jiraiya’s shoulder. “All toads will be told to stay away from your bugs. Tell me, child, what jutsus do you know?”

“Well,” Naruto began, “I know  _Hiraishin _,__ ” she didn’t glance at Jiraiya’s face, “Kuchiyose, Fuuinjutsu, Kage Bunshin, Kawarimi, Henge, the Aburame Kekkei Genkai and I was learning the Gatsuga jutsu with Shisui and Violet,” she gestured to her fox and the dog, “and I was going to learn some Nara clan techniques, as I’m going to marry into that after the Exams.”

Jiraiya frowned. “Is that-“

“Oh, and Mokuton. That and a chakra-sensor. It  _ _was__  kind of distracting, but I kind of learned how to read it properly.”

“Jiraiya-chan, have you taught this girl nothing?” demanded the geezer toad.

“I wasn’t her teacher,” Jiraiya frowned. “That would have been Hatake Kakashi, who, by the council’s demand, focused more on the Uchiha on the team. I  _do_  have a wide arsenal of jutsu I can teach you. Do you need help with controlling the fox?”

Naruto adopted a solemn expression and closed her eyes.

_Kurama._

****Gihi,****  Kurama grinned.

Black lines formed on Naruto’s body, glowing a vibrant yellow. Then…

…chakra flames burst into being. Naruto could feel every tree yearn to touch the chakra to make them bloom again.

“Holy crap,” Jiraiya said in a stunned tone. “How did you-“

Naruto smiled and looked at her body, the lines of the Eight Elements Seal outlined on her body.

“I’ve been friends with the Kyuubi for years,” Naruto replied with a sad smile. “Or, rather, I beat him up and stole his chakra when I was seven and then we became partners at ten. We’ve been on pretty decent terms since then.”

 ** **Ain’t that the truth,****  Kurama said in a fond tone.

“Anything else you haven’t told us?” Jiraiya wondered idly.

“I’m a whore,” Naruto snickered at Jiraiya’s horror-filled face. “Kidding, Ero-sennin,” she snorted.  _No, I’m really not._

Jiraiya chuckled nervously. “You better be, kid. Fukasaku-sama-“

“Teach the child more jutsus so that he can defend himself if the need arrives, Jiraiya-chan.” Fukasaku smiled kindly (or as much as a frog  _can_ smile) at Naruto. “I will inform the Toads of the newest summoner’s arrival and of the condition.”

He popped into smoke.

“C’mon, kid, let’s teach you some jutsu,” grinned the Sannin.

Naruto gulped as she let the chakra cloak fade.

She felt Kurama’s apprehension.

“We’ll also work on your taijutsu and other skills.” He shook his head. “Nice job at the prelims, though, kid.”

Naruto beamed.

~:~

She dragged herself through Konoha, feeling extremely worn out.

“Hey, Naruto!” Kiba’s voice caught her attention.

“Hmm?” she managed, with a big effort, to pick her head up. Violet and Shisui seemed to collapse where they stood.

“What happened to you?” Kiba asked, tilting his head.

“My teacher is awesome,” she said, though she couldn’t even muster a grin. Her entire body was tired. Despite his absolutely terrible taste in clothes (and the fact he was a pervert), Jiraiya’s stamina was  _ _huge.__  First he’d made her do suicide runs for three hours in a marked area around a steep cliff area, then he’d made her go through every type of ninjutsu she could recall ever learning. Then he’d made her do the Kawarimi jutsu with a leaf instead of a log.

He put her through the paces.

Now she was wearing stupid-looking weights in order to get used to them so she didn’t have to rely on the Hiraishin.

 _“After the Chuunin Exams and after your…wedding…then you and I are going on a training trip. And if you need to run, then you better do as I say and run, kid,”_ Jiraiya had told her.

“It looks like you can’t even walk!” Kiba exclaimed, glancing at Violet and Shisui. “And that little guy’s still following you-“

“Shisui…” Naruto mumbled, noticing Sasuke stiffen at that name. “The pup’s name is Shisui.”

Sasuke stood up.

“You named your mutt after Shisui?” Sasuke growled, whipping around in anger.

“He was my friend,” Naruto said quietly. “’Tachi didn’t kill him, though…” Naruto was too late to avoid a punch. 

“You stupid  _demon,_  what would you know of my brother and what he did?!” Sasuke shouted. A fist exploded into lightning. “Chidori!”

Naruto welcomed the sudden sewer.

“I’ll handle this,” Kurama snarled, chakra blasting outward.


	11. Kurama's Threat and Shogi

Kiba froze as Sasuke punched Naruto. He stared as Sasuke's fist exploded into lightning. Civilians all around were smirking as Naruto's eyes fluttered closed. Kiba spotted Hana looking horrified in the edge of his vision.

He took a couple steps forward-then was blasted back by the malevolent chakra that erupted from Naruto's 'unconscious' body.

Sasuke was slammed against a wall.

 **"Listen here, you stupid little** ** _ningen._** **The only reason I'll allow you to live is the fact that Naruto chooses to allow everyone in this kami-forsaken village live over his own well-being."** Naruto's eyes opened, and they were blood red. Red like rubies.

Sasuke stared with terror.

**"I am not a fan of humans, much less scum like** **_you_ ** **who decides to try to kill a** **_child_ ** **who is** **_exhausted_ ** **and becoming more powerful than** **_you_ ** **. Get this through your skull, Uchiha brat. If you attack Naruto's body, conscious or unconscious, I** **_will not hesitate_ ** **and I promise that your** **_precious_ ** **Uchiha eyes won't be able to follow me. Got it?"**

The person-not Naruto, as Naruto's body's scent changed when the person had opened their eyes-grinned at him, licking fangs.

Kiba cleared his throat. "Um…please let go of Sasuke. Please."

Naruto's eyes moved over to look at Kiba's. Red bored into black.

Kiba shrank back, and the person let go of Sasuke.

"Oi, Kyuubi!"

The Kyuubi froze, eyes widening in comical horror. **"Oh** ** _hell_** **no!"** he yelled as Jiraiya appeared. **"I'm outta here!"**

"No you're not!" Jiraiya grinned darkly. "You're going to go back into the sewer from whence you came…or I'm going to tie you up and make you eat Ramen."

The disgust on the Kyuubi's face made Kiba snort. _Kyuubi_ could've been defeated by _ramen?_

The Kyuubi seemed to admit defeat. **"Fine. Just make sure the kit doesn't work himself to death."**

Jiraiya grinned. "Deal."

Blue eyes replaced red, and Naruto collapsed, Kiba catching her swiftly.

Jiraiya smirked at him. "Naruto told me the demon hated inarizushi."

Kiba frowned. "Why- oh. Right."

Uchiha Madara must've liked inarizushi.

~:~

Naruto was driven like a slave in the weeks before the final part of the Chuunin Exams. She was up against Neji, and later she'd fight Gaara in the beginning of Round 2 if she won against Neji. If Neji won, he'd go against Gaara.

Not that she and Neji hated each other. Rather, the opposite.

Whenever the two met at 'work', they'd have a quick verbal spar, then they'd get swept away by their clients. They'd nod at each other like acquaintances whenever they'd publicly meet.

In the week before the Finals, Naruto and all the other hopefuls were relaxing. Well, Shikamaru and Naruto were having a small shogi tournament. More like Shikamaru was thrashing Naruto at every game.

"You're getting better," Shikamaru said. "Which is troublesome."

And it didn't help that after her little 'show' with Kurama that she knew little to nothing about, people avoided her like the plague and still shot her nasty glares.

Eh, it wasn't much different…well, the prices inflated, but that was it. Ramen was literally the only thing she could afford now, seeing as she hadn't been going on missions and was only working in the Red Light District.

"I think this is kind of cool," Naruto admitted to him. "Tactics are pretty useful."

"Yeah, but numbers help, too. Your clones could make up practically an army." He frowned a little. "Since you have large chakra reserves, will they triple or double?"

Naruto frowned. _Kurama?_

 **Well, there** ** _is_** **an Uzumaki kenjutsu that's kind of forbidden.** Kurama sounded reluctant. **Blood clones. Use something similar to what you made with Zabuza. Costs you half your chakra, but if you leave the blood clone up long enough your chakra coils expand to output thrice the amount of chakra.**

"If I use a kenjutsu, they could," Naruto replied. "Moreso than when they're used for a long period of time with pretty much the sole intention of adding to chakra reserves."

She didn't tell Shikamaru where she'd learned it. He was a smart man.

"Oh. Can anyone learn the kenjutsu?" Shikamaru was interested in it.

**It costs half** **_your_ ** **chakra, Naruto.**

"No, only with reserves as big as mine," admitted Naruto.

**And you'd have to make sure the clone don't pop while your in the middle of a battle, because the jutsu can land you in a coma. Sure, I can bring you out, but you'd be hypersensitive to your own chakra until you've gotten used to it.**

"And I'd have to make sure the clone didn't pop while in the middle of a battle; one of the reasons it's a kenjutsu," Naruto said quietly. _Maybe Uzumakis started being born with unnaturally large reserves_ because _of this kenjutsu. Look at the Rabbit Goddess._

 **Don't speak of her, please. You'll only draw attention to us!** Kurama growled, sounding a little scared.

_Gomen, Kurama. We have four more days until the Exams; I'm getting kind of wound up from all this tension!_

**You getting wound up means I get wound up…but I can't wait. Jiraiya worked us to the bone. Still, I'm glad Violet's resting…I still don't understand why you named the dog** **_Shisui_ ** **of all names.**

_I like the name. He kind of reminds me of Shisui. Shisui was rather…_ clingy, _when you got to know him, dattebayo! Anyway, gotta focus!_

"-ruto!" Shikamaru's exasperated call made Naruto blink.

"Hm?"

"You and him talking?" Shikamaru sounded bored.

"Oh, yeah, about why I named Shisui…well, Shisui. I told him Shisui the dog was kind of like the real Shisui-once he made a friend, he was strangely clingy."

Both Shikamaru's and Naruto's eyes were drawn to Shisui the dog. Shisui the dog kinda looked like Shisui, too-dark, sleek, and had a weird liking to the shunshin that he could make somehow.

Shomaru had a knack for the Kawarimi, so there was no surprise there. These were ninja dogs, after all, and it was almost as if…

Nah, it was just a strange coincidence.

"So, what's your plan against Neji?"

Naruto sighed. "Well…I can't do the same thing I did with Sasuke for obvious reasons. It's too obvious. I plan on showing my most brilliant moves, which right now I can't reveal, but," Naruto added with a sly grin, "is something pretty awesome. Hello, Yoshino-san."

"Oh, Naruto, you'll be my daughter someday, call me Yoshino-kaa-san." Yoshino grinned. "And how good you are if you could tell who I was just by my chakra signature!"

"Your chakra is…pretty," Naruto said, tilting her head. "Warm. Motherly. Plus, when you get irritated at Shikaku-san there's a feel of fond exasperation, I guess. Shikamaru's chakra is…lazy, but alert. Shikaku-san's chakra is tough and lazy and solid. Nothing like Shiki-tou-san's, which is patient and alert, or like Kahara-kaa-san's, which is wild, feral, and protective. I guess you could say I've gotten a grasp for what kind of chakra everyone I know is," Naruto laughed a little. "It's relaxing, being here. It feels…" She frowned for a second, unable to force it into words. "…warm. That's all I can say." Naruto looked up at Yoshino, who looked extremely impressed.

"Girl, if Jiraiya doesn't take you on that trip, your talents are wasted," Yoshino chuckled. "Now put away the shogi board, you two. Dinner's ready."

"Troublesome," Shikamaru said.

Yoshino's smile turned poisonously sweet. _"What did you just say?"_ she asked in a syrupy voice.

Shikamaru paled. "Uhm…"

Naruto's silent laughter broke from her in-vain struggle; her laughter pealed out, rippling around the clearing.

Normally, Naruto _chuckled._ Or used her deep voice to imitate a raspy laugh.

But this one was feminine and _pretty._ Her first time laughing unrestrained since…well, forever.

Kurama, deep inside his cage, grinned to himself as a chunk of stone from the sewer vanished.

Soon, he'd be out of this shitty sewer and snoozing in a sunlit area if she kept on being this genuine and happy. So much had transpired since Tsume had seen the young jinchuuriki transform from her brothel house form and say 'I'm home' to an empty apartment.

Uzumaki Naruto was truly living for once.

The sewer, of course, would always be a starting point, no matter how much chakra she accumulated or even if she transcended to being a goddess. The sewer was the first point in her life, and those cage doors would always be passed, a remnant of his symbolic imprisonment. Now that the seal was _on_ him in its entire form, there was no need for the gates.

Unless Naruto removed the seal completely, he would be trapped until she passed on.

Naruto's laughter echoed out across Nara grounds, making some of the deer raise their heads. Konohans passing the Nara compound stared for a minute and then felt an unwilling smile pass onto their faces.

~:~

Tobi, who was following the Mizukage around to control him, went to take a leak and kept the Mizukage on 'silent' mode. One of the rebels who had accompanied the Mizukage and was following him saw something odd. His Kage's eyes seemed unusually _glazed;_ then they _cleared._ Yagura _stumbled,_ and the Mizukage _never_ stumbled.

"Ao?" he muttered to his astonished-looking advisor in a dazed-sounding way. "Who's the angel laughing?"

Ao turned on his Byakugan to see if this really _was_ his Mizukage. When he did, he saw a disruption in the chakra flow start to correct itself slowly; then, it vanished, and the disruption was back. Ao knew without a doubt that his Kage was under a genjutsu by those deplorable Uchiha.

Ao glanced around, and through a wall, there was someone laughing. _Another jinchuuriki._ That beautiful laughter was pealing around them, slowly fading, but he was positive it came from her.

Ao mentally nodded to himself.

"Mizukage-sama," he said. The Mizukage turned to Ao. "Mind if I go take a leak?"

His fellow guards sniggered silently. The Mizukage nodded his head slowly, and then there was a flick of his fingers that usually indicated 'you're off duty for the rest of the night'.

Ao was gone in seconds.

~:~

On a rooftop hotel, Gaara heard the peals of laughter with his sensitive hearing. His mother was silenced, and Gaara tilted his head at the sound.

_Interesting. That sound is one of pure enjoyment…whoever made it, I will_ _**end** _ _them._

~:~

A lone traveler with long black robes embroidered with red clouds walked past the Nara compound briefly.

 _Such beautiful laughter…_ Uchiha Itachi thought.

~:~

Inside the compound, Naruto was on her back and holding her stomach as she fought to breathe.

"Dinner's ready," Yoshino repeated with a weird grin.

Naruto hopped up and dragged a muttering Shikamaru with her.

Yoshino sighed. _Kushina…I think if you were alive, you'd be proud of your baby._

~:~

THE PURE WORLD

"OF COURSE I'M PROUD OF MY BABY, YOSHINO! IF I WASN'T I WOULDN'T BE DEAD!" Bawled Kushina. "I wanna see my baby girl…" she sobbed, going into a depressive state.

"Hey…" Hashirama frowned. "I was wondering something. How come she kind of acts like Father sometimes and like _you_ , Tobi? I mean, you _do_ have a temper when it comes to it…"

"I have no clue, and I really don't want to," Tobirama replied curtly. "I really do want to go visit my daughter, so…bye."

Tobirama vanished.

Kushina sighed. "C'mon…let some _excitement_ happen up here…" Kushina moaned, dreadfully bored out of her friggin' mind. While it was the Pure World…only the really famous or high-concentration of chakra type of ninjas were actually _aware_ of the fact that they were deader than a doornail.

Little did Kushina know that she'd get her wish…


	12. Flash of Orange

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you read this chapter, be warned. It has a really stupid anticlimactic ending. Sorry, this is one of the reasons this fanfiction is slightly humorous. Don't get the humor? Watch the episodes or read the manga of the first Naruto show (not Naruto Shippuden, I don't know if it's in there). Oh, I was also tired when I wrote this, so... Yeah. Read and review! No flames, please! More is posted on Fanfiction dot net!

The day of the Chuunin Exam Finals, Naruto was up before even her adopted dad…actually, she actually never fell asleep. She had coffee. And sugar.

Not a good mix.

Naruto was just sitting on the couch, staring at the opposite wall.

Shiki and Kahara stared at her for a few minutes, but Naruto did nothing but stare at the clock.

Naruto's chakra didn't calm their kikaichu-in fact, Naruto's kikaichu apparently showed their excitement by zipping around fast. Violet and Shisui were curled up next to her, looking bored out of their minds.

The minutes ticked by. The hours fell away, and then it was almost forty minutes before noon-the time set for the Exams.

Naruto blurred into action.

In five minutes, a basic mission pack was on the living room table. Kahara, Shiki, Shozun (Kahara's ninken), Violet, and Shisui were all staring as Naruto packed all of it, even hidden _Hiraishin_ blades.

So she _had_ mastered the _Hiraishin._ As the five Kages (plus the Otokage guy…) were there, they were _definitely_ going to get a good example of Konoha's might.

(A certain really old geezer with a _lot_ of back problems shuddered violently as he had a bad feeling…then promptly yelled as his back cracked. Painfully.)

Noon came, and Naruto and Team 7 were in the competitor's box, wishing Naruto good luck.

Sasuke only glared at her with blazing hatred.

She ignored that.

"Naruto." Kakashi's voice cut into her thought as she saw the amount of people filling up the stadium. "Since you're wearing black today…" Indeed, Shiki had flatly said that she was _not_ wearing orange to a final Exam. If nothing else, that was a question of her sanity…and she had reluctantly agreed. "Will you wear this?"

It was a haori reminiscent of…

…her father's. The only thing different was it was shorter and didn't have the words 'Yondaime Hokage' on it in kanji.

"Arigatou, Kaka-sensei," she said, tears building up.

"Show Iwa what you're capable of, Uzumaki Naruto," Kakashi said fiercely.

"Hai, sensei!" Naruto nodded, and Kakashi eyesmiled. Then bent and pulled her in a hug.

_"Do him proud, Naruto. Do them both proud."_

" _I will, Sensei."_

A mint-haired girl from Taki was watching curiously. She was in the second round, facing against Naruto and Gaara (if Naruto won)-it had been a seriously last-minute change.

Naruto took a deep breath. She took out her eartails and, thanking Kami that she'd added length to her hitai-ate, she tied it around her head on her forehead, the long eartails free of confinement.

Then, "The Chuunin Exams Final Matches will commence! Hyuuga Neji, Inuzuka-Aburame-Uzumaki Naruto, please come down!"

Naruto let out a choked giggle that sounded more like she was a balloon letting out air.

"Wish me luck!" she said in a squeaky, nervous voice.

~:~

The Kage watched as the branch member and prodigy of the Hyuuga walked down.

Then almost all of their hearts stopped. A hush descended onto the arena as Naruto walked out onto the field.

He held his head up proudly. His haori moved as he walked, the chain glinting in the sun. His yellow hair seemed to reflect the sun.

His cerulean blue eyes gleamed with determination.

Everyone was staring at the boy who, if the fang tattoos had not existed on him quite yet and had no whisker marks, was almost a miniature Yellow Flash.

Then they settled. Naruto had a pack on, but his ninken was nowhere to be found-oh, wait, there was his dog, on his head, and his fox right next to him, licking her paw coolly.

"Hajime!"

The fight commenced. For a single second, neither boy moved. Then, as if choreographed, Naruto and Neji ran towards each other, hundreds of Naruto appearing like it was nothing.

Naruto didn't play the same trick like he had played during the prelims of the Chuunin Exams; rather, he sent out long distance clones who were dispersed a few times.

Naruto was frowning, debating.

Naruto looked up in the general direction of the Kages, and Hiruzen gave the briefest nod.

Then the group of bunshin dispelled themselves, and then…

…an orange flash appeared on the arena floor.

Sarutobi Hiruzen grinned darkly as the son of Kushina and Minato completed an Uzumaki swirl-the point was to reveal potential, something Konoha definitely had.

Then, Neji used his _Kaiten,_ the Hyuuga ultimate defense.

Naruto smirked. "Oi, Neji!" he called over to him. "You just going to reveal _all_ of the Hyuuga techniques or just come over and fight me?"

Neji stared at Naruto for a minute. "You're fast. Impossibly so. My Byakugan could only pick up an orange flash."

"I suppose I really _do_ take after the Yondaime, huh?" Naruto asked, ridiculously puffing his chest out and looking utterly dumb. Hiruzen wanted to slam his head into a wall. Naruto depuffed himself. "But I have a promise to Hinata to keep."

"Come _on,_ Naruto! I didn't mean to almost kill her! She was pissing me off with the way she acted weak!"

…did the arena and Kages hear correctly? Did everyone just hear one of the Hyuuga-a clan that, with its exceptions like Hinata-always seemed to have a bunch of serious-faced people with sticks shoved so far up their butts that they rivalled only the Uchiha in terms of arrogance?

Naruto sighed loudly. "Yeah, yeah, but I got angry at you, and I don't go back on my promises, because that's my nindo, -ttebayo! Let's fight, Neji, and may the best clan win!"

"You're on. Taijutsu first?"

"Nah, that's one of my best areas. Let's do genjutsu!"

"But I wanted-"

"Genjutsu, please?"

"…dammit, fine." Neji and Naruto stood straight up, and their hands blurred into motion. "Genjutsu: Thousand Petals!"

Sakura petals began falling.

"Genjutsu: Illusion of the Shinigami!"

In the middle of the falling sakura petals, an illusion of the Shinigami appeared.

The Kages were distracted by the cracking of Hiruzen's chair. They looked at the Shinigami illusion.

"Is that…the _real_ face of the Shinigami?" It was Rasa who broke the incredible silence.

"I would assume so, though how Naruto knows it…well, I can't say I'm not surprised." Hiruzen's face was thoughtful. "I would assume that he must dimly recall the Shinigami appearing when he was a babe. After all, the Yondaime _did_ use the Shiki Fujin to seal the Kyuubi. So yes, I assume it is a demonic illusion of the _actual_ Shinigami."

The Shinigami illusion took out a knife and licked it.

Suddenly, the Shinigami illusion flickered as some sakura petals were displaced, and Naruto did indeed get some damage done to him.

Both genjutsus vanished moments later, neither chuunin hopeful able to keep them up too long.

Then… "Ninjutsu?" Naruto asked.

"Why are you so _against_ using taijutsu?!"

"Because I want to humiliate you with my taijutsu. You _do_ realize I've had _far_ more taijutsu training, right?" the blonde boy asked.

"Whatever," Neji decided. "Suiton: Wild Water Wave!"

Water was expelled out of Neji's mouth.

"Suiton: Wild Water Wave!" echoed Naruto.

A weaker, but most definitely a version of said technique, appeared.

"Suiton: Water Dragon!" A dragon twisted out of the water.

"Fuuton: Great Breakthrough!"

Wind blasted through the arena, a massive release of chakra that was poured into the technique.

"Enough," Neji barked. Naruto sighed, the sigh echoing through the arena.

"Okay." Naruto grinned widely. "See ya!"

For a minute, no-one moved.

Then…

"SECRET NINJA TECHNIQUE OF KONOHAGAKURE: SENNIN GOROSHI!"

Neji went flying.

A simple and quite humiliating move.

"Seeing as I think Neji has literally been sent flying…Hokage-sama, do I _have_ to announce Naruto the winner?" asked the proctor.

"Yes," the Hokage said, his head in his hands. "Bring Naruto up to me, please."

Naruto was shoved into the Kage area, where the Kage looked at her critisizingly.

"Naruto, whatever made you think you should use that…attack?" the Hokage questioned her.

"Kaka-sensei showed me it, Hokage-jiji," the blonde male said. His blue eyes met the eyes of the other Kage without fear. "Can I go get ready for my next match? I mean, Shikamaru's is next, and his will be even _lamer_ than mine I'd bet. Plus, I beat Neji. Hopefully when I see him later he won't kill me." She smiled.

"Go on," the Hokage sighed.

"Ja!" Naruto vanished.

" _That's_ Konoha's fearsome 'Orange Flash'? That wasn't a very good portrayal," Rasa criticized.

The Sandaime smirked chillingly. "Believe me. The next round will be even better."


	13. An Invasion Begins

Shikamaru and Temari fought. Temari lost consciousness, and Shikamaru forfeited afterwards.

He had spoke with Shino, and had decided on an appropriate way to _not_ die and live through the Exams. If Shino didn't want his bugs crushed, he'd have to forfeit.

Which he did.

There was about twenty minutes before the second round, which consisted of Naruto versus Gaara versus the mint haired girl named Fuu.

This was going to be interesting, because if he was right, both Fuu and Gaara were jinchuurikis, and Naruto had her own _talent_.

He grinned.

This was going to be awesome.

~:~

"Sabaku no Gaara, Takeshi Fuu, and Inuzuka-Aburame-Uzumaki Naruto, please come to the arena floor."

Naruto took a deep breath.

She leapt down to the ground at the same moment a sand cloud moved over to deposit Gaara on the ground (in that way, Gaara was even lazier than Shikamaru!), and an excited-looking mint-haired girl came on the ground.

"You must be Takeshi Fuu, I'm Uzumaki Naruto!" Naruto introduced herself.

"We're enemies, right?" Fuu asked.

Naruto shrugged. "I don't care if we are or are not. Friends come from all sorts of places."

Fuu smiled. "Yeah, I'm Fuu. Is this guy homicidal?"

"Yeah, he has the tanuki. You must have lucky number seven."

Fuu smiled. "You're-?"

"Yeah, I hold nine." Fuu grinned even bigger.

"This is like a super-awesome clash!" she squealed. "Proctor, can we start-?"

Fuu turned to realize the sand headed her way was from the homicidal guy.

Naruto laughed. "Come on, baka tanuki!"

The sand stopped inches from Fuu's face.

"Come on, bug lady!"

Fuu smiled as a red cloak began to cover her.

_Kurama!_

**Let's do this!**

All three jinchuuriki were covered as they formed their respective half-of-a-tail tailed form of their bijuu.

Fuu sprouted wings. Naruto's whisker marks became accentuated, and her eyes turned red. Her nails grew. Gaara grew a sand arm.

As if by an unspoken signal, they leapt into action, all of them going for the biggest threat they could find.

One full tail against half a tail made it laughable, until Naruto grew a second tail.

Gaara restrained himself from going bloodthirsty, but Fuu leapt up in the air and exhaled shimmery powder.

**Close eyes!**

Naruto did as Kurama instructed, knowing that Kurama didn't use proper grammar because this was a battle.

Bright light filled the air in mini explosions. A knee was driven into Naruto's face.

Naruto flew backward as she called to her _Hiraishin_ tag, and in a golden-red flash, she was driving a foot into Gaara's face.

~:~

In the Forest of Death, two coffins rose out of the ground.

Opened, the coffins revealed the two forms of the Yondaime and Uzumaki Kushina, both of whom blinked and looked at each other.

"Minato~" Kushina cried.

"Kushina~" Minato cried.

They hugged.

(Ohnoki shuddered for an unknown reason)

"Minato…I've seen Naruto wherever we've been," Kushina admitted.

"I have, too," Minato said, hugging his wife.

They stopped when they heard a roar.

 **Shukaku,** came the terse response. **Someone freed you from the Shinigami's stomach, but something else is happening. If you don't want your kit to die…**

_She has Mokuton. Plus, Rasa is there, I doubt he would let his jinchuuriki-_

**Shut up! Mokuton may work for me, and it** **_could_ ** **work on Shukaku, but there's also Chomei…oh** **_crap,_ ** **the Sanbi's here too!**

_Okay. Shut up now._ "Kushina, let's go help our baby girl…and maybe kick Sarutobi's ass."

Kushina smirked and cracked her knuckles. "ANYONE WHO MESSES WITH _MY_ BABY GIRL GETS THEIR BUTTS KICKED!" Announced the Edo Tensei'd redhead.

Both shinobi raced towards their daughter.

~:~

Thank goodness the Mizukage wasn't getting involved. If he had, it would have been all over for Naruto.

Feathers had started to fall a few seconds after Naruto had hurt Gaara, making all but the shinobi fall under the genjutsu.

Now, jinchuuriki had weird reactions when it came to genjutsu. The Mizukage was the blank-eyed puppet of one, but hey, not everyone was perfect.

Anyway, Chomei forced a transformation and laced the air with all those sparkling flash bomb things, making it almost impossible to see much. Adding to the fact Gaara was going monkeyballs because he'd gotten hit _once…_ well, it wasn't pretty.

Naruto threw one of her pronged kunai and made a tactical retreat.

She looked around. Oto shinobi fighting with Suna shinobi and Iwa shinobi running like chickens with their heads cut off and not really doing anything but protecting their aged leader (who had a really large nose) and a yellow flash taking out Oto and Suna shinobi. All was ri-

Wait. _Yellow Flash?_

Naruto saw a kunai land in front of her, and a yellow flash with a redheaded package appeared in front of her.

"K-kaa-san…tou-san…" her voice cracked.

Kushina smiled. "Ohayo…Naruto."


	14. Mokuton Revealed

The Sandaime glared at his former student. "What do you plan to gain with this?" he demanded of his student. "My death shouldn't mean anything."

"You gave the title of Hokage to someone else! A title that was _mine._ " Orochimaru smirked. "I have gained immortality-"

"No you haven't." The Sandaime almost had a heart attack. His successor stood in front of him with the Edo Tensei skin. "Hello, Hiruzen. My wife wants to have a _little chat_ with you about the treatment of our daughter."

"But you only had a son…" Orochimaru blurted. "And he never showed any talent until-"

"Shut. Up!" Kushina was _right behind_ him.

"Sound Four, where are you?!"

"Tied up in wood," came the cheerful answer, courtesy of one Uzumaki Naruto. "Now, while Kaa-san chats with Sandaime-sama, Tou-san and I will happily kick your butt. Ready, Dad?"

"Of course, Daughter," smiled Namikaze Minato.

Naruto flipped through hand signs quickly.

Every person still watching the chaos Konoha was in would later spit or choke or just _stare_ at what happened next, since there _were_ cameras installed everywhere in the arena (including the roof) that had a 365 turning base.

~:~

In a bar in a random town, using some of the money she'd just won, Senju Tsunade drank her first saucer of sake that day as she watched the video with a throb of pain and slight self-disgust at herself and Namikaze Minato for reasons she had told no-one. Her attention was inexplicably drawn by 'Inuzuka-Aburame-Uzumaki Naruto', so she, nor her assistant, who had been enraptured by this program from practically the start, did not fail to see what happened next.

The Uzumaki girl had a look of intense concentration, and she extended her hand in a way Tsunade recalled her grandfather Hashirama had done when using the Mokuton-and promptly choked on her sake.

"Lady Tsunade!" gasped Shizune.

Tsunade coughed a couple more times as forestry suddenly grew around Uzumaki Naruto.

Tsunade felt none of the self-disgust she had when she looked at the Namikaze's offspring.

This kid was a Senju, one of the last…so Tsunade had an obligation to teach her.

Tsunade reluctantly set her sake saucer down.

"Shizune. Pack my bags."

"Tsunade-sama?"

Tsunade turned to look at the viewing screen again.

Due to the unfortunate problem of chakra getting in the way of electricity, it was used mostly for cameras, installed by someone with delicate enough chakra control, lighting houses-which was an obvious output that really wasn't affected by chakra, unless something like the Kyuubi appeared-movies, which were rare-and screens that were mainly brought out to view the Chuunin Exams.

"Shizune…we're going to the place I swore I would never return to again."

_As long as that Namikaze returns to dust, I will stay there and teach Uzumaki Naruto._

"Lady Tsunade?"

"Well, after I get smashed, then we can say it was a moment of a drunk woman."

Shizune facefaulted.

~:~

Wood sprouted from Naruto's hands, into the ground and in the air. The Shodai and Nidaime were watching from the sidelines.

"Okay," the Shodai said after a moment, "I'm starting to legitimately wonder if Kushina isn't your descendant, given the fact that Naruto had Mokuton…"

"Shut up," the Nidaime scowled. "Let's help them take down Orochimaru."

Orochimaru backflipped out of the way of the wood that followed him. Naruto gut off the flow of chakra, the wood falling to the ground.

Both father and daughter prepared jutsus.

"Naruto!" Naruto looked at Minato. "I need you to shape chakra like this."

Naruto stared at the ball of chakra.

 _At least I was training to use this before…_ Naruto created a clone and formed the ball of chakra. _Our chakra natures are sort of similar, so it should mold into a giant one._

Both green and blue balls of violently rotating chakra merged, creating a Giant Rasengan.

"Oodama Rasengan!" Naruto and Minato bellowed out, shoving it towards Orochimaru.

It exploded.

Orochimaru was safe, sadly.

He was wielding a sword, looking as though he'd literally puked it up.

"Suiton: Water Dragon!"

A dragon made out of water appeared out of nowhere.

"You're not supposed to be fighting me!" Orochimaru snarled. "You're supposed to be fighting _them!_ "

"Sorry," Tobirama said, not sounding sorry at all. "But I find a rather irrepressible urge to beat some sense into you while the redhead lectures Hiruzen…who I am quite disappointed in."

"I was simply-" began the snake, only to stop as he parried Minato's kunai. "I was trying to recreate the Mokuton technique! It seems to run in Senju blood." He grinned and licked his lips.

Naruto's jaw clenched. "Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!"

A bunshin appeared. It left the rooftop to go help everyone else on the ground while the real Naruto faced off with Orochimaru of the Sannin.

She went through handsigns, then put two fingers near her mouth like she was going to us a suiton jutsu. "Katon: Great Fireball Technique!"

The fight began anew.


	15. Clones and Curse

The bunshin Naruto fought with the grace of a bumbling bear-that is to say, absolutely not any grace whatsoever. Dirty shots were pretty much the only thing the short clone was good at (that, and running away). It just so happened she ducked a black fire that sprung up out of nowhere.

**Oi, clone of Naruto-**

_Just because I'm a bunshin don't mean I'm not still Naruto, you big meanie!_

**Whatever! You actually seem more intelligent than most of Naruto's clones…whatever, again. Anyway, I'm going to lend you some chakra so you stay alive.**

_Cool…is this how it's going to be when Boss makes a blood clone?_

**No idea, kit. But hurry. Oh, great, Shisui and Violet are with you.**

The bunshin felt chakra well up in her. Violet and Shisui came trotting up.

 **"Naruto-bunshin-sama,"** Violet said, dipping her head a little. **"We should practice some of our combination attacks, Naruto-bunshin-sama."**

Her tail flashed out in a wide arc, making a nearby Iwa man drop a kunai he was going to kill a Suna nin with.

**"Alpha-bunshin, maybe you should create another clone to help others."**

"Good ideas, both of you," Naruto nodded fervently. "However, we would kind of need an open space for our Fang Over Fang."

**"As you wish, Naruto-bunshin-sama."**

"I'M STILL NARUTO!"

 **"But you're also a bunshin,"** Violet said with what could only be considered a smirk.

"SHUT UP!"

Violet opened her maw and expelled a torrent of water. It was Violet who had given Naruto the water affinity. Apparently Violet was actually a kitsune-powerful enough to use her chakra and talk, but not enough to get a second tail. Unlike Kurama, though, she would never be a kitsune as strong at him.

Naruto-bunshin stopped for a second, unable to wait to ask.

_Hey, Kurama? Why is it I occasionally refer to you ask female, and then male?_

**I'm not male** **_or_ ** **female. Sometimes I'm both. Sometimes I'm neither. It depends on my mood. Now create the clone, kit.**

Naruto created a second clone.

"Wow, this is cool!" the next clone said with a big grin. "Hey, Kyuu! Can I hear you?"

The second clone's eyes widened.

"Holy crap, this is cool!"

**SHUT UP AND GET TO WORK, BOTH OF YOU!**

"Hai, Kyuu!" the two yelped.

They separated.

Violet's raging torrent had subsided, and Shisui and Naruto got into position.

"Inuzuka style: Gatsuga!"

Both became pointed blurs, exploding into motion and devastating some of the ninja forces.

"That worked, Shisui!"

Shisui grinned, and Naruto pet his head.

"I'll give you a treat when we get home, okay? I have to find Kahara-kaa-san."

Shisui nodded.

 **"You go find them, make sure they're okay,"** Violet spoke up. **"I'll find Naruto-bunshin-sama the second with Shisui."**

"Okay, see you soon, you two."

Shisui brushed her leg and bounded off with Violet. Naruto created another bunshin to help her on her self-appointed mission and staggered. Kurama pushed his chakra into her body, muttering how careless she was.

She shook her head and recovered.

_Come on, Kahara-kaa-san. Shiki-tou-san. Please be-_

Naruto slammed into someone.

"Gomen!" she called up, a hand grabbing her wrist and hauling her up.

She opened her mouth to say something, but the words died in her mouth as she stared at the man in front of her, onyx eyes boring into hers.

"Itachi?" she asked dumbly.

"Naruto." Itachi's velvet voice was warm. "How are you?"

"Terrified out of my mind right now," she scowled at Itachi. "What are you doing here?"

Itachi stared at her steadily.

"I'm here to take you with me." His voice held zero emotions. Naruto swallowed. "Tsuku-"

"Oi!" Naruto huffed. "I never said that I wasn't the real one!" Naruto smirked. "But I _could_ be the real one…but if I'm not…" Naruto shrugged, knowing Itachi really didn't like how she played games with him like this. Even without bunshin, she had been able to throw her voice.

Itachi sighed. "I assume the real you is fighting Orochimaru. I shall see you soon, Naruto."

He was about to leave, but then his hand shot out and shoved Naruto behind him.

"Amaterasu," she heard him say, and she saw black fire shoot from nowhere. All around them, Iwa and Kiri shinobi appeared. Back to back, Naruto and Itachi got ready to fight.

An Iwa nin slammed his hands down, Naruto using a Suiton jutsu to render his Doton jutsu useless.

Itachi took out a kunai, Naruto forming another set of handsigns, mostly to catch everyone off guard.

"Sexy Jutsu!" she cried.

When she was revealed, she giggled and blew some of the shinobi kisses. All but three men in the group surrounding them had an extreme reaction, blood _pouring_ out of her nose.

Then Naruto sighed and looked at the other half.

"Sexy Male!" She poofed into a shirtless version of what she thought Kurama would look like if he were outside of his seal-blood red spiky hair going down to his waist, tanned skin visible above low-rising shinobi pants, golden eyes…and turned around, pulling a surprised-looking Itachi into her embrace, and pulling him into a deep kiss.

The result? Well, Naruto had been correct. Those guys and the small group of girls were closet yaoi lovers.

(Not that Naruto particularly cared.)

She suddenly realized that she was kissing _Itachi._

She backed off, dispelling the henge, dizzy.

_I KISSED ITACHI!_

Her face went red, and she dispelled.

~:~

Orochimaru started to show signs of exhaustion. His chakra levels were diminished.

"Nearly got it!" Naruto crowed. The Mizukage appeared, looking bewildered, and Naruto punched his lights out with a Kurama-enhanced fist on _principle._ Seriously, who entered a fight like that?

"No…" Orochimaru hissed, eating his sword and smirking. "No…your power is great. I want it!" He lunged, and Naruto frowned as Orochimaru vanished.

Then Naruto gasped and began to whip around.

But Orochimaru's mouth closed over her neck, and Naruto fell, paralyzed.

A seal burned its way onto her skin.

"I'm lucky I got to dear Sasuke…but you, little _Uzumaki,_ will be a prize I shall wait for…" Orochimaru vanished.

Not even the memory of her clone kissing Itachi was enough to make her stay awake.

The last thing she saw were glowing green chains wrapping around her, warm as a mother's embrace.

~:~

"Kahara-kaa-san! Shiki-tou-san!" Her cloned kikaichu buzzed under her skin, nudging her in the correct direction.

Violet turned to her. **"Dispel. You do not have enough chakra. Plus, I think Naruto-sama is injured!"**

 **"Yeah, we'll find Kahara and Shiki,"** Shisui added.

Naruto-bunshin internally warred with herself, but she found herself nodding before she dispelled herself.

~:~

All of the bunshins sent out in the battle dispelled themselves. They couldn't risk having their original die.

As the chaos wound down, with the Mizukage ordering a cease-fire, the Suna-nin captured and being led to the cells, the Kazekage being shadowed by the best of the best, Ohnoki escaping with no evidence of any Iwa-nin being in the battle (with the only exceptions being their jinchuuriki, who had been sleeping in a Konoha hotel room), Gaara being held in a seal-induced sleep, and Fuu sitting morosely by Naruto's side, everyone was still tense.

Shockingly, the Red Light District had remained untouched.

The Yondaime hadn't crumbled yet. His daughter needed him.

He was researching into everything about Orochimaru's seal. Kushina stayed by Naruto's side.

A young woman came by. She looked pretty ordinary, and she was a shinobi. Her gleaming hitai-ate indicated that she hadn't been on active duty, but she'd been newly reinstated.

She knocked on the door, and Kushina looked up.

"Can I come in? I'm an acquaintance-"

Kushina cut her off. "Nerissa. I was in the Pure World, watching her."

"Yeah." Nerissa shifted, a little awkwardly. "Um…have you spoken to Anko? She has some insight." Nerissa shifted. "And, um, your daughter is a really bright light for those that know her."

 _Is._ Kushina nodded, a soft smile coming to her mouth.

"My baby girl is so awesome. I'm proud of how strong she is. I'm proud of her."

Naruto's hand twitched. Kushina pounced on it.

Then Minato came in a flash of yellow.

"Kur-, er, Kyuubi told me to tell you Naruto has to wake up, then go through all the stages of the Cursed Seal. Naruto's bonds are a key role in this…let's just pray she lives."

Another shinobi entered the room. "Er, Yondaime-sama? Uzumaki-sama? Uzumaki Naruto's…well, her adoptive parents, Aburame Shiki and Inuzuka Kahara…" the nurse hesitated.

"Spill," demanded Kushina.

"If Uzumaki-san wakes up, she'll be waking up an orphan. Sir." The nurse bowed and left after swallowing.


	16. Promise, Blackmail, and Journey

**"You know, you can't stay here with me forever. You're irritating."** One of the Kyuubi's tails gently unfolded and wrapped around the shinobi.

"I know, Kurama." Naruto sighed. She stood up, absently stroking Kurama's fur. "I hope Kahara-kaa-san and Shiki-tou-san are alive." Naruto forced the worst thoughts of it away. "What do I have to do?"

**"Activate the cursed seal…and focus on your reasons to live."**

~:~

Naruto's eyes shot open, startling everyone around her.

She got up, not caring for the fact that she stumbled.

"Got to activate the cursed seal," she informed the room at large. "Oh, hey, Neri. Can I?"

Neri looked at Naruto's parents, who looked a little heartbroken, but she nodded.

"Yeah, sure."

Naruto did. Black marks extended from the neck.

"You have to keep it on for a time limit. Until you change." Anko's voice made them whirl. "I've never used the mark that way myself, but I figure it's useful…if you remain loyal to Konoha."

Naruto grunted in pain.

~:~

 _'So alone...I don't want to cry anymore.'_ _A blonde haired child was seen sniffling and rubbing her eyes._

_"Hey, kid, you okay?"_

_The girl just sniffled, thinking the voice was not talking to her. A hand tapped her shoulder, and the girl slowly looked up._

_"Are you talking to me, mister?" she asked the man. He wore a headband with Konoha's symbol. A ninja!_

_"Who else would I be talking to?" the guy asked, looking confused. "The name's Uchiha Shisui. Yours?"_

_"Uzumaki Naruto," Naruto hesitantly introduced herself. Who would talk to a_ _**demon?** _

_"Well, then, Uzumaki Naruto, want to help me with something? To cheer you up?"_

_Naruto stared at the hand of the man and hesitantly grasped it._

_~"~_

_"Damn demon! Look at it smile!" Naruto huddled into herself. She'd known about her 'burden' since she and Shisui got locked up for a night in the Police Headquarters._

_Naruto had forced a bright smile on her face. Itachi, the son of the Uchiha head, was able to bring them out-but Naruto had been safer inside._

_She was dragged into an alley. She was beaten; and then she was dragged into a sewer._

**_"Pathetic. THIS is the creature I'm bound to?!"_ **

_Naruto had stood. "Hey! I'm Uzumaki Naruto, and I'm gonna be Hokage one day!"_

**_"Tch. You'll die…and I'll be free."_ **

_Anger boiled in Naruto's stomach. Using her will, she glared at the Kyuubi._

_"Let's fight, then!" she yelled at him._

_The Kyuubi laughed. The fight began._

_Naruto wasn't sure how long it lasted, but a big ball of blue chakra was over her head eventually._

_Through pure determination, she'd fought-and_ _**won.** _

_~"~_

_When she woke up, Naruto was in a relatively comfortable room, a purple-haired woman in the room._

_"Hey, kid, you okay?"_

_She counted three precious people she had later- Shisui-funny,_ clingy _Shisui, quiet, peace-loving Itachi, and cheerful but lonely Anko…and yes, even though he didn't like her, the Kyuubi was one of her precious people._

_At first, it was a tentative friendship with each. Well, the fox wasn't her friend-he insulted her as much as he could whenever she tried. Shisui was a clingy person, who smiled and taught Naruto to 'fake it 'til you make it'. Itachi, whose peaceful ways instilled a sense of love for all forms of life._

_Then Shisui died and Itachi slaughtered all but Sasuke. Naruto met Nerissa, a ninja who'd been injured by Itachi. She was pretty._

_And Bun-chan, who gave Naruto a sharp kunai._

_Her collection of precious people grew._

_Even Kyuubi relented; apparently even the great demon fox was too tired of fighting her insistence._

_He trusted her with his name. Kurama._

_And now…she was on a team!_

_"Sasuke-teme…I'LL BEAT YOU!"_

_"I swear…I will protect_ _**all** _ _of my precious people."_

_Meeting Haku and Zabuza…_

_"I want to protect my precious person." Haku's genuine smile. A person that didn't belong to any one village had such a great idea._

_Her dream adjusted._

_She'd protect her precious people, even if it killed her. And now she was determined to save Haku and Zabuza._

_Kahara. Shiki. Haku. Zabuza (well, he was a thin stretch, since he'd tried to kill Kakashi, but whatever). Tenten. Lee (his eyebrows kinda freaked her out still…). Kakashi-sensei. Sasuke (even_ if _he was a revenge-obsessed teme with a stick_ extremely _far up his butt). Karin. Fuu. Gaara. Sakura (thinner stretch than Zabuza…). Tayuya. Neri. Anko. Neji. Hinata._

(I'm going to _live._ )

_The kaa-san of the brothel. Kurama. Itachi (she would eventually get the true story)._

(I'm _not_ going to die.)

_Shikamaru. Kiba. Shino. Violet. Shisui-the-dog._

_She would live._

_For the late Shisui. For her parents._

(Even _if_ I marry Shikamaru…I _will not_ die.)

_This village._

(No matter what…I promise I won't give up! This is my nindo!)

~:~

Naruto's eyes flew open, and the curse mark second form vanished. Her blue eyes were hard and determined.

Kushina and Minato hugged her.

"Naruto…there's something we need to tell you about Kahara and Shiki."

~:~

The funeral was held a week later.

The two clans full of dark-haired members, Naruto's bright yellow hair standing out rather vividly.

_Kahara…Shiki…_

Her fists clenched.

 _I wasn't fast enough._ She was beside Shino and Kiba, Shisui and Violet next to her.

Everyone was silent. And then the heavens opened, and rain was dumped onto them.

~:~

After the funeral, Jiraiya took his student to see his former sensei. Kushina had brutally kicked his butt for what Naruto had suffered, which made it clear he needed a successor.

"Jiraiya, will you-?"

"I'm going on a small journey with Naruto here," Jiraiya said, cutting his sensei off. "I'll ask Tsunade if she wants the hat, but it's unlikely."

"What's going to happen to the invaders?" Naruto spoke up. Her quiet voice made them glance at her.

"Their respective villages are leaving it up to us," the Sandaime said.

"Then…why not let them go?"

Naruto was faced with two identical looks of surprise.

"Naruto, you don't know what they're-"

"I know the story of the Uchiha Massacre." Naruto's voice stopped Jiraiya, who turned to his sensei, who looked pale as a ghost. "If you don't let them go by the time we get back or kill them, I'll tell everyone all the details of it."

It was one thing to blackmail a normal shinobi, another entirely to blackmail the _Hokage._

**Kit, when we leave, make a blood clone and** **_henge_ ** **it.**

_'Kay._

"I want to re-establish a clan in Konoha, Sandaime Hokage-sama." Naruto drew out a scroll and opened it. "Copies of the paperwork I have filled out are with me, so there's no way any of it would get lost."

Naruto set the scroll down. "I'm the last of the Royal Uzumakis, Hogake-sama. It's time I started to act like it."

~:~

"Ready, kid?" Jiraiya asked a few hours later. Naruto looked around her now-empty house that still had blatant traces of Shiki and Kahara. Kahara's ninken Shozun had died during the early part of the invasion and apparently Shiki's kikaichu died with him. There were a few plants, a drooping Mr. Ukki being one of them, and one blood clone hidden in her closet.

"Yeah, let's go," she said, slipping on her mission pack, Violet and Shisui following her determinedly. Shisui hopped on Violet, then used Violet to spring particularly high into the air and fall on Naruto's head with a _thump._

Naruto cracked a grin. "Shisui…you're so like the other Shisui I could almost say you're his reincarnation. But I know he'd be angry if he were a dog, so…" Naruto shrugged. Shisui liked cats better than dogs.

 **"Shisui has** ** _nothing_** **on me,"** Shisui boasted.

"You're right, he's dead," Naruto said quietly.

_Shisui, Kahara, and Shiki are dead._

Shisui laid his head down on Naruto's head, whining softly.

"Come on, let's go get this Baa-san," Naruto said grumpily.

"Don't call _her_ that," the spiky white-haired man warned. "She can destroy a _ton_ of something in just a flick of her fingers. When she _really_ pulls back on her strength, it can send you flying."

"Sounds like the pink banshee on Team 7," Naruto commented. She walked out and shut the door to the silent house, Jiraiya having exited minutes before. "So where was she seen last?"

"A town called Tanzaku Gai," he responded, walking ahead of her. "It's about a week away; we're going slow so your chakra can replenish, and we can work on your sensor skills while doing that."

Naruto tilted her head. Jiraiya's chakra felt strong…and _natural,_ something that seemed to fit in with the world around him. It was almost impossible to pick his signature up from everything around her.

Violet's chakra was small, but calm. Shisui's was excited and happy.

Naruto smiled. She may not have eaten any ramen, but it was a start.

They made it to a town without any fanfare or rogue ninja crossing their path. In fact, they'd began tree-jumping soon after they had left, and had made it there with plenty of daylight to spare.

Jiraiya spotted a lovely-looking dark haired woman winking at him, and she began to leave.

"Kid, you get us a room and I'm going to do some _research._ " He giggled perversely.

"And this is why I call you 'Ero-sennin'," Naruto muttered as he gave her money and scooted off.

She sighed and went to the nearest hotel. "Excuse me," she said politely, "but can I have a room with a window facing the forest?"

It was a good idea to her, anyway, in case she was being hunted by Itachi. Violet and Shisui sat next to her, attentively.

"Those animals can't go in unless they're potty trained," the hotel owner said after a moment.

 **"Of course we're potty trained!"** Shisui said indignantely. **"What do you think we are, animals with only the basest instincts?!"**

 **"We're the companion to a frigging** ** _ninja,_** **dumbass,"** Violet growled. Then she turned to Naruto. **"Come on, let's go find other things to spend that author of the Icha Icha series's money."**

"Wait-you know _Jiraiya?_ Can you get me an autographed book if I let you stay here for free?" The man was a pervert. Naruto turned around, pretending to think.

"Well…as a matter of fact…" Naruto transformed into her Tenshi self and smirked. "Maybe not for _free,_ but I can certainly make your dreams come true~" A single wink was all it took.

His nose bled. "On the house because I'm married!" he squeaked. He beamed at her, and Naruto took the card, gave him a sexy smirk and an autographed book of Icha Icha she kept on her person (because there were always those secret perverts), then walked down the hall, putting an extra sway on her hips.

When she got to her room, she opened the door and sighed.

She hadn't allowed herself time to grieve because of what had happened. The invasion of Konoha made it easier to focus on training and not herself.

She took out a blank scroll. This scroll wasn't designed for fuuinjutsu like some were; this was a scroll to simply write important things on them. Like documents.

However, Naruto didn't plan on using it like that.

She took out a brush and began writing.

_Today we set out from Konoha to find someone named Tsunade. She is, according to Jiraiya-sensei, an old lady, but looks good-like in her twenties good-because of a henge. Also, she has big breasts. I'm still as flat as a washboard! I'm going to ask her the secret, even though my original 'Sexy Jutsu' has big breasts._

_Anyway, off track there, a little. I lost my second pair of parents, Inuzuka Kahara and Aburame Shiki, during an invasion. I'm marrying Nara Shikamaru as soon as I get back…which means that I'm going to be married and holy crap it's suddenly caught up to me. I'm getting_ married _after we convince that Tsunade woman to come to Konoha. I'm a little excited, I suppose._

 _Aunt Tsume says I should marry someone from the Inuzuka clan-male_ or _female._

 _I'm_ so _not interested in marrying Kiba, though I_ think _he likes me…or he only tries to do things for me in front of Hinata to impress her. Not sure._

_Neji and her are secretly dating (or so I believe, because of their mysterious 'training sessions'), so I'm not sure how well Kiba's actions towards her are going to be reciprocated, or if Neji will Jyuuken his balls off, which is a good possibility._

_I saw Uchiha Itachi again. I kissed him while I was henged in a version that I think Kurama would look like if he was out of my body. By the way, Kurama's a giant fox who is trapped inside my body with the Shinigami powering my seal keeping him there._

_Still…I KISSED_ ITACHI! _It's Sasuke's_ brother _! I mean, he's not like Sasuke (if he was, Kami forbid everything-there's already one revenge-obsessed brother who's sanity is, at this point, questionable at the most), but…he's_ Itachi. _Currently a missing-nin who wants me. I really,_ really _hope he ain't a pervert._

 _Otherwise I'm going to have to use my anti-pervert ninjutsu. And no, it's_ not _my Sexy Jutsu._

_If anyone other than those I trust can read this, ESPECIALLY Itachi, I am a nutcase that escaped from the nuthouse and am writing this because I have gone monkeyballs._

_Uzumaki Naruto_

**"Naruto, we should get some sleep,"** Violet said with a yawn. **"My chakra needs to rejuvenate from tree-jumping."**

 **"So does mine,"** muttered a drooping Shisui.

"Alright, let's get some sleep, then," Naruto decided. She rolled up the scroll and put it in her backpack.

Naruto took one of the beds, Shisui and Violet assuming comfortable positions at the end of it.

Naruto realized that, since she hadn't _properly_ slept in _ages,_ she was definitely going to sleep well.

Kurama started to purr in her mind, easily luring her to sleep.


	17. Itachi and Kurama

****NARUTO! WAKE UP!** **

Naruto jolted awake. Two chakra signatures were making their way down the hall-one was Itachi’s, one was  _ _monstrous.__  Almost equal to Naruto’s! Almost, seeing as Naruto had been expanding her chakra reserves on a daily basis by using Tenshi since she was little. 

(She’d been a person even the ANBU captain could talk to. Sure, some people went insane when they heard the stories, but most of them stayed professional and quite sane.

Well,  _ _mostly__  sane.)

She woke Violet and Shisui up rather fast and silently opened the window. The dog and fox slipped through, Naruto grabbing her pack and Jiraiya’s giant-ass scroll, which she silently cursed at for being so big and heavy.

She slipped out at the last possible second, silently darting away from the room, Violet and Shisui using tiny chakra spurts to hide themselves as normal-looking animals; Naruto used her solid transformation to make Jiraiya’s scroll look like a random berry-not too circular, yet not too  _ _similar__  to the other berries-and transformed her pack into a stick. Then, using the same technique, Naruto turned into a squirrel.

Not a flying squirrel, just a normal squirrel.

Naruto trembled on the branch as near-silent steps clacked on branches.

Naruto dashed away, up the tree trunk, as there was a voice.

“Kisame. You and your sword are going to give us away.”

“It’s Samehada’s fault!” There was a gurgling. “Shut up. Now, Samehada said there was five chakra pulses.”

“Most likely Uzumaki and her ninken, though I bet they’re disguised.”

“Why not use a release jutsu?”

“Uzumaki is a rare solid transforming person. She literally transforms into the object or person.”

“How do you know so much about her?”

“She kissed me in a solid  _ _henge.__ ”

“YOU KISSED THE KYUUBI?!”

“Shut up or I will kill you.”

“You’re being awfully talkative, Itachi.”

“Hn.”

“And I wasn’t actually trying to make you stop talking, either…”

The two ninjas stopped right below where Naruto was hiding. She peeked over the edge of the branch.

“There.” Itachi vanished, and Naruto felt a hand grasping around her middle.

She found herself shocked out of her transformation. She choked as Itachi shoved her against the tree.

His onyx orbs had…a bit of sadness in them, if that were possible.

“Any last words?”

“Shisui! Run!” she choked out, hoping her voice reached her ninken and fox. Kurama growled.

****Pathetic, Naruto. You can’t fend them off.** **

__Kurama?_ _

****It looks like I’ll have to get involved.** **

~:~

Itachi watched Naruto’s eyes close, her body falling limp.

He felt a pang of regret as he slowly brought her body closer-and then Naruto  _ _smiled,__  and red eyes bored into Itachi’s.

 ** **“Fooled you!”****  Naruto brought her hand up and chopped Itachi’s arm. Then she performed a jutsu, and in Naruto’s place, a man with Kyuubi red eyes looked at him. His hair was almost exactly like Naruto’s when Naruto had kissed him-long and spiky. He wore no shirt; instead, he only wore shinobi pants. Muscles rippled. Visible black lines seemed to recede into a seal on the stomach.

With another couple pops, two items appeared-the summoning scroll of the toads and Naruto’s pack.

 ** **“Fear me,”****  the Kyuubi grinned. Nails lashed out, Itachi very nearly not avoiding them. Killing intent filled the air, causing Kisame and Itachi to freeze. This KI was  _ _old.__   ** **“And that’s only a**** ** _ ** _tiny_**_** ** **bit of KI,”****  the Kyuubi scoffed.  ** **“Now, I’m going to give you**** ** _ ** _one_**_** ** **chance. Leave and tell them that I will**** ** _ ** _not_**_** ** **go into that blasted statue. Ever. Second option is that I slaughter you.”**** Fanglike teeth gleamed as he grinned.  ** **“Like I said, your choice.”****

“You know about the statue?” Itachi asked, trying to delay. The Kyuubi  _ _could__ kill them. Two of the Akatsuki could hold off a single Bijuu, but their instructions were not to kill them.

But the Killing Intent froze them.

 ** **“No duh,”****  the Kyuubi said with an eye roll.  ** **“I’m a Bijuu, lived thousands of years. You think those thousands of years have been used sitting somewhere and**** ** _ ** _knitting,_**_** ** **boy? I can create a tsunami with just a**** ** _ ** _swipe_**_** ** **of my tails. That night, when I was controlled by that definitely-not-Madara guy? I didn’t fight too hard ‘cause I loved using Bijudamas-I didn’t fight hard because that wasn’t even a**** ** _ ** _fraction_**_** ** **of my strength!”**** The Kyuubi disappeared, and Kisame’s sword was imbedded inches from his unconscious head.  ** **“That dumbass can only control me a little bit with that accursed Sharingan.”****

“What do you know about the Sharingan?” Itachi asked. The bijuu in human form was suddenly right behind Itachi-so close, that he could feel the Kyuubi breathing on his neck.

 ** **“That it was given to Indra. My vessel is the newest incarnation of Asura…I sense more Indra in you than your brother.”**** The Kyuubi leaned forward.  ** **“I**** ** _ ** _hated_**_** ** **Indra’s guts. I always thought Asura was an idiot…but…”**** The Kyuubi chuckled.  ** **“It seems almost**** ** _ ** _poetic._**_** ** **Asura and Indra…the cycle of hate.”****  The Kyuubi chuckled again.  ** **“Can’t believe that my host is the one to change the world. Ah, well, it’s not important to you. If you find any Uzumakis, tell them the family head has come to take her rightful place. And…Uchiha…if you dare use that infernal Sharingan on her, I’ll rip them out with a rusty spoon. Got it?”****

“You’re…letting me go?” Itachi asked stupidly.

The Kyuubi was suddenly inches from Itachi.  ** **“Perhaps it is a naïve hope, but I believe Naruto can end this cycle of hatred that runs rampant. And it just so happens, Uchiha Itachi, both my vessel and I have heard the**** ** _ ** _true_**_** ** **story of the massacre. Maybe my vessel can mend Indra and Asura’s relationship this time around. But if it doesn’t happen between you…then I will end humanity myself.”**** Those red eyes burned, then dimmed.  ** **“I find myself abhorring your decision to murder your clan, but perhaps it is because I have siblings I dream of killing, but wouldn’t actually kill. I wish you the best…Uchiha Itachi…and you better pray to Amaterasu, Susano’o, or Tsukuyomi that you and I do not cross paths again. And, sushi, if you get up, I will kill you-this time, for**** ** _ ** _real._**_** ** **”****

So Kisame was awake. Had he heard?

The Kyuubi gathered up the Toad Sannin’s scroll and Naruto’s pack, absently slamming a fist on the back of Kisame’s head and knocking him out.

The Kyuubi grinned and appeared before Itachi. A fist was all the still shellshocked figure saw right before he blacked out.

~:~

Jiraiya entered the hotel room to see a tall figure crawling in with Jiraiya’s scroll.

Jiraiya tensed, then red eyes glanced at him.

“Why are you in charge?” he demanded of the Kyuubi. The threat of ramen wouldn’t work this time-this time the Kyuubi was serious.

 ** **“Uchiha Itachi knows we are here. I’m getting a general idea of what they want me for,”****  the Kyuubi rumbled.  ** **“I mention the freaking Gedo Mazo statue and it’s confirmed, meaning they plan to resurrect**** ** _ ** _that_**_** ** **lady.”****

“Who?” Jiraiya asked lowly.

The Kyuubi glanced outside at the moon with a slightly scared look. And it  _ _terrified__  Jiraiya-he doubted that the Kyuubi had ever been so afraid.

 ** **“I’ll tell you later,”**** the Kyuubi said.  ** **“Right now we need to leave before those guys wake up. Violet, Shisui, meet us at Tanzaku Gai.”****

 ** **“As you wish, Kyuubi-sama.”**** Shisui waited until Violet had slunk off after talking before turning to the Kyuubi and growling at him.

 ** **“You hurt her and I’ll do my best to rip you to pieces.”****  With that, the dog vanished.

Kyuubi let out a snort.

****“Watch it, dog.”** **


	18. Kurama's Promise, Itachi's Failure

Kurama didn’t relax until the chill of the moon went away. As soon as the moon vanished from the sky, he looked to the insect that was  _slightly_  better than the others. Well, Naruto held him in  _slightly_ high regard. And even though the thought of ramen truly disgusted him (just like the thought of inarizushi, and dango, thanks to that one guy who  _wasn’t_ Madara), it’s not as if he’d be defeated so easily.

**“Have you ever heard the tale of Ōtsutsuki Kaguya?”**

“The Rabbit Goddess?” asked Jiraiya.

**“She is the reason chakra is chakra. Jeez, I know that they don’t teach myths, but come on! Anyway, she ate the chakra fruit, blah blah, then was absorbed by the Shinju tree to create the Juubi. Where the bijuu come from. Then who you call the Rikudo Sennin broke the Juubi, and thus we were created. I have most of the Juubi’s power, seeing as I’m number nine. I have nine of the Juubi’s tails.”**

“I thought the power was split into nine pieces!”

**“The Juubi may have been called the _ _Juubi,__  but that’s not the point. I have a fraction of the Juubi’s power, blah blah. Anyway, old man Sennin decided to seal his mommy dearest, creating one of the celestial bodies that rule the sky.” Kurama glanced at the sun. “The moon is made of the Juubi’s body. Using the Gedo Mazo-a statue that can hold the nine bijuu-they can open up the Shinju tree again and revive that bitch.”**

“You just called the creator of chakra-“

**“A bitch? Yeah, she was. She got all jealous that her boys Hagoromo and Hamura had chakra when she was supposed to be the only one with it. If they’re collecting the Bijuu, then it means what I sensed in Konoha was true.”**

“What did you sense?” Jiraiya questioned seriously.

Kurama eyed the man. He wasn’t ready to know the truth.

But he decided to tell him-indirectly, anyway.

**“Was there ever an Uchiha who loved to eat dango like my awes-er, _ _pathetic__  vessel likes to eat ramen?”**

Jiraiya considered it. “Well, there  _ _was__  Uchiha Obito, but he died during the Third Shinobi World War.” There was a pause. “But you already knew that, didn’t you? You were stuck in Kushina at that point.”

 **“Yes, because I had nothing better to do, seeing as I was tied up in my large form and impaled on stakes,”** Kurama informed him dryly.  **“As much as I hate you ningen, I hate Uchihas way more. And it was that kid, Obito that took control of me that night. I would assume that Madara had died only a few years prior-like maybe five years before. Trust me, I have an extremely sensitive nose. I could tell from the smell of death that Madara died. Plus, White Zetsu was helping Obi-** whoever. Death’s scent is never truly erased.” Kurama wrinkled his nose. Naruto was still sleeping as a result of Kurama forcing her to sleep with only a little of his chakra being used to keep her under; if he was to co-exist with Naruto, information had to be given so he could be trusted.  **“Look, if you want to doubt me, go ahead. Kushina wouldn’t have lived long after my extraction unless someone gave her medical care. They didn’t so she died after I speared her and her husband with my talon. I will _ _not__  let this vessel die. If I am sucked out into the Gedo Mazo, then she  _ _will not__  live.”**

~:~

 _“Report.”_ Leader-sama’s Rinnegan eyes glared down at Itachi. Konan and Yahiko stood quietly behind Leader-sama. 

“The Kyuubi knows, Leader-sama, of the statue.”

Everyone present, hologram and otherwise, turned to stare at Itachi.

__“_ Kisame. Is this true?”_

Itachi waited. Waited for Kisame to say that it wasn’t and Itachi was a traitor. If Kisame truly enjoyed killing, that is what he would do.

“Yes, Leader-sama. I heard the entire conversation-the Kyuubi knows of the statue. He did not kill us because of his vessel.”

_“So the demon’s vessel is his weak point. Kisame, Itachi-you are to finish your task and bring the Kyuubi here. Alive, but I do not care if the vessel is harmed or not. Even if the plan must first come through the Ichibi, we will wait those three years out patiently. Do you understand?”_

“Hai, Leader-sama.” Itachi and Kisame were left alone with only Deidara, who scoffed at them.

“You guys failed, un!” he mocked them. “So even  _Itachi_ can fail, un.”

Itachi said nothing, only left the room as quickly as he could.


	19. Grandma Tsunade

Naruto looked at the casino in front of her. ‘NO UZUMAKIS’ was printed in large script over the entrance.

“And she’s supposed to be  _here _?__ ” Naruto frowned. Then a glimmer of sadness passed over Naruto’s face, but she pushed it aside for practicalities’ sake.

She entered the casino and spotted a few Konoha Inuzuka there. Instantly, they sniffed the air and then looked at Naruto with pitying looks.

Obviously they could smell Kahara and Shiki on her.

Her kikaichu buzzed under her skin, fortifying her resolve.

“And you are?” asked a man who appeared in a waiter’s outfit.

“Inuzuka Naruto,” Naruto said, flashing a naturally-sharpened fang. Thanks to the blood-adoption, Naruto’s teeth were sharper than most shinobis’ teeth. “I’m here to play.”

“No underage children-“

“I saw your rule sheet,” Naruto said, jabbing a thumb at her hitai-ate. “As long as an unslashed hitai-ate is visible and shinobi ID is given, no patronage of ninjas is refused.” Shiki’s training in logic  _ _had__  worked, it seemed. “I have my genin ID, if you want it.” The man blinked. 

“You say you’re a genin?”

“Look,” Naruto began angrily, “I said my name is  _Inuzuka_  Naruto, baka! And you are  _testing_  my already frayed patience.” The waiter gulped.

“My apologies, genin-san. Please, to this table.”

Naruto followed him to the highest-bidding table. Naruto paid in, as she could see a blonde lady with a jewel in her forehead. 

Senju Tsunade of the Sannin.

 **Naruto, I’ve never smelled this lady before, but now I know who it belongs to. Naruto…she’s Minato’s mother. And your grandmother.**  Naruto flinched.

Another person that could die because of-

**I’m giving you a piece of advice, Naruto-you better grieve _properly_ when we get back to Konoha. It’s not healthy-**

_Shut up, Kurama. I’m not in the mood._  Naruto sat in the seat and slid all her chips in the middle. “All in,” she said in a raspy tone.

The Inuzuka member at the table gulped and took his cards. “I’m out,” he said, throwing a glance at Naruto.

Naruto was taking a gamble, certainly.

But Jiraiya had told her something that the Uzumakis were definitely notorious for (other than their amazing sealing configurations)-their unbeatable luck.

Well, Uzushiogakure’s fall wasn’t good luck; it had been an assault of epic proportions.

 _ _“_ The one thing Uzumakis could never fail at was winning a bet,”_ Jiraiya had informed her.  _“Uzumakis couldn’t bet against each other, because it ended up being bad luck for whatever the bet was on. However, Senjus are legendary for being positively crappy at gambling; save when it came to each other-then it was always good luck.”_

Naruto was taking a gamble. Inuzukas weren’t all that widely accepted at gambling houses because of their noses and knowing what any but the Aburame were feeling; Aburame weren’t really accepted because of their habit of having perpetual poker faces, and the pheromones the kikaichu gave off to fool an Inuzuka.

A few people gave all in, but not all did.

The drunken blonde did, though. The black haired woman at her side looked horrified.

Naruto stared at the pig the lady was holding. Seriously? A  _pig?_

Naruto shook it off.

A few seconds after, Naruto put her cards out and grinned. She knew poker, from having watched it many times at the brothel, though she preferred to play War or Go Fish.

“Royal Flush.”

The drunk lady swore loudly.

“Lady Tsunade! You shouldn’t-“

Naruto grinned at the lady. “Don’t worry ‘bout it. Lady Tsunade, huh? The ‘Legendary Sucker’.”

The woman’s eyes seemed to clear of their drunk haze as everyone else cleared the table in disgust.

“You. I saw you when the Chuunin Exams were going on.”

“That’s right, Baa-san.” Naruto grinned. The woman’s eyes seemed to burn. “I’m here to bring you back to Konoha.”

There was rage in Naruto now, but she didn’t let it show.

_“Naruto…there’s something we need to tell you about Kahara and Shiki.”_

_“What? Are they okay?” Naruto’s fear that her parents were not okay suddenly shot higher._

_“Naruto…” Nerissa’s face was sad. Naruto clenched her sheets. “Shiki and Kahara were killed by some Iwa-nin. We don’t know their names, but Shiki’s kikaichu destroyed the Iwa-nin before Shiki and Kahara died. Their bodies are still-“_

_“You’re lying!” Naruto didn’t want to believe it. She stood up. “I’ll show you! They’ll be fine!” Naruto darted down the hallway, Nerissa running after her._

_“Naruto! Wait-“_

_Naruto ran faster, her nose leading them to Kahara’s and Shiki’s scents._

_She slammed into the morgue, not noticing the ‘MORGUE’ sign above it._

_She skidded to a halt at their sides. Kahara and Shiki both lay there. Wounds littered their bodies, wounds that were superficial. Then her eyes took in the sight of their slashed open bodies._

_Tsunade of the Sannin could have healed them. If they’d gotten to the hospital earlier, if Tsunade had ** **been in Konoha**** -_

_“Naruto…we’re sorry we haven’t been here for you,” Kushina’s compassionate voice filtered through the air. “And we truly can’t be here-not really. We get to fully get our affairs together, but then we’ll have to leave.”_

_“I understand.” Naruto’s voice was hollow. She left the morgue almost robotically, not glancing at the other dead. She felt like throwing up._

_‘Kahara-kaa san is dead…so is Shiki-tou-san.’_

“Oh?” the Legendary Sucker threw the table. Naruto was instantly in her face, snarling like an Inuzuka. 

“Come with me, and I won’t kick your ass,” Naruto swore.

Tsunade flicked her.

Pain burst in her forehead, but she backflipped and created a shadow clone as soon as the dust cleared.

“I’ll make a bet with you!” Naruto called with a grin.

“Oh?” The Legendary Sucker couldn’t resist a bet.

“Yes. In one week, I manage to surprise you with a jutsu-any jutsu you can name, and you come back to Konoha and become the newest Hokage.” Naruto prayed it wasn’t a bloodline kind of jutsu.

“Sure, kid. I’ll even throw in my necklace.” Tsunade grinned. “The chakra chains of the Uzumaki. Go tell Jiraiya.”

Naruto let her anger pass over her face for one fraction of a second.

Tsunade looked taken aback, but Naruto was gone,  _Hiraishin _-__ ing to the hotel, where she had placed a tag under a table.

Naruto saw a note on the table.

_Kid,_

_I’m headed off to lure the robed people away from you. Get practicing on whatever you want-I’ll see you soon, okay?_

_Jiraiya_

“You didn’t leave me any ryo!” she growled. She sighed. “Whatever. Kage Bunshin!”

A bunshin appeared. But unlike her normal bunshin, this one was Kurama. She couldn’t let him out for long periods of time (upon having to examine the seal on her stomach) because the seal would force him back into it, but she could let him out for about three hours.

“Hey, Kurama,” she smiled at the demon, who smiled at her and rubbed her head.

**“Hey, kit. What are you planning?”**

“Well, I was wondering if you could check if my DNA has the Uzumaki chain thing in it,” Naruto frowned. 

 **“Don’t need a blood test to check _that,_ ”** Kurama replied with a razor sharp grin.  **“Uzumaki females always have that-it’s embedded in your DNA. Plus this weird biting-and-healing thing.”**

“You think it’s weird?” Naruto frowned at him.

Kurama shrugged and sat down.  **“You can bite someone _ _anywhere__  and the opposite person will be healed. You  _could_  heal yourself, but mostly just other people.  _Anywhere,”_ he leered.**

Naruto glared at him. “Sex jokes? What next, you’ll kiss me?”

Kurama leaned forward dramatically. Naruto leapt up and leaned against the door, making an ‘x’ with her arms.

“No, I don’t know where those lips have been in the past.”

 **“Actually, you do. Inside your mind,”**  he replied with a smirk.  **“Come on, you’re one of the _ _only__  ones I would actually kiss and be serious about.”**

“Kurama, your form is a giant, ten-story high monster fox with nine tails,” Naruto deadpanned. “Plus, I’ll find a way to release you without killing me, so…you’d live on. You’re immortal.” Naruto shrugged. Kurama was quiet.

 **“I’m going to get you some coffee,”**  he said, leaving the room.  **“Call if you need me.”**

Naruto was left alone-this time in absolute silence.

Sighing, she took her pack and searched for her scroll-only to bump her hand into Haku’s and Zabuza’s few letters.

She opened them and settled back.

_Uzumaki-san,_

_I am grateful that you saved Zabuza’s and mine lives. Thank you. I know you do not want anyone to find out we’re alive, so just to be safe we’re putting a henge on ourselves for a while. Well, Zabuza is since I wore a hunter-nin mask, and I’m pretty sure that my long hair will make everyone think I’m a girl._

_Kubikiribouchi is over our ‘graves’; again, much thanks for saving our lives. Zabuza grudgingly admitted your friend travelling to Yuki no Kuni was quite good in bed-that is his (admittedly strange) way of saying thanks to you as well as your friend._

_I hope we can be friends, Uzumaki-san._

_Sincerely,_

_Yuki_

Naruto slipped that letter back in her pack and read the last one.

_Naruto,_

_You said in your last letter that you wanted me to call you ‘Naruto’. I simply wanted to tell you some fantastic news!_

_Kusagakure no Sato-the Village Hidden in the Grass-has asked us to participate in the Chuunin Exams, as they want their village properly represented!_

_I will most likely see you there-if not only in passing. However, Zabuza asked me if we should stay there, since Tazuna is okay here in Wave._

_I don’t really know what I will decide. Again, I hope to see you there!_

_Yuki_

Naruto smiled.

 _Yuki,_  she wrote on a sheet of paper. _I_   _didn’t see you at the Exams, sadly. Maybe you were one of the teams that got knocked out? I don’t know, but I’m currently traveling. If you were somewhere in the invasion, I can only hope you survived. Tell Zabuza he better be taking good care of you, or else I will make sure he can’t give birth to any children._

_My adoptive parents died during the invasion, and now I’m trying to bet with the woman who could have saved them…who is, quite coincidentally, my grandmother on my real father’s side._

_Crazy, huh?_

_What I’m kind of wondering is why she never told my tou-san she was his mother; perhaps I can ask her._

_Tsunade of the Sannin is my grandmother._

Naruto paused.

Then she wrote again.

_Can you tell me if two people lived through the invasion and are still in Konoha (if you are still there, that is)? One’s name is Tayuya, she has pink hair and uses genjutsu chakra through her flute. She’s from Otogakure, but she’s also one of the only blood relatives I have left. Another is Uzumaki Karin, who has red hair and orange eyes, and she hailed from Kuso._

_I will be returning to Konoha soon, with or without the Sannin lady and Jiraiya of the Sannin._

_Naruto_

Naruto walked out of the room, heading to a messenger stand that had men standing around, waiting for things to deliver-these were ninja hired by these kind of companies on a long-term mission status.

She looked at the sign and winced internally at the prices-they seemed to charge through the roof to get to  _one_ of the Five Great Ninja Nations.

Well, most of them  _were_ from Taki, so…

She paused.

_PS: Sorry to ask this of you, but the pervert sage I’m traveling with didn’t leave me any money and I wasn’t able to finish my poker game before Tsunade flicked me (which hurts, since she had a lot of strength)…please pick up the bill for me? If you’re in Konoha it should only be 540000 ryo…If not you can probably just make Zabuza dispel his henge and grin at the poor Taki runner._

She folded it into an envelope and gave the guy a smile. 

“Show this to anyone you meet.” She handed him a fox necklace she’d found on the ground. “It should be given to a long brown haired feminine boy called Yuki.”

“Payment-“

“Will be given on arrival,” Naruto grinned menacingly at the Taki runner, who gulped and began to sweat. He nodded and fled with the letter.

Naruto started to walk back to the hotel. She paused when she saw someone looking around in apparent confusion-it was a stocky-looking orange haired male with a  _lot_ of piercings.

“Are you lost?”

He turned, and Naruto was taken aback by his eyes. They were purple, and they formed concentric rings around the pupil. 

“No,” he said in a rumbling voice. “Thank you for the consideration.”

Naruto smiled and rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly. “Ah, it’s not an issue…want a cup of coffee?”

Maybe if she used a slight  _henge_ to make it something free…

She didn’t wait for his answer and went to a coffee shop, talking rather quickly about a lot of things.

“-so, I’m like, ‘WHAT? I have to  _marry_ someone in order to get adopted?’ only I didn’t say the second part, -ttebayo. The guy I have to marry is lazy-“

All the while, the man said little to nothing, sipping at his coffee like it was going to kill him.

Naruto kept chatting long after he threw his cup away, only for her to remember she didn’t have any change…or money…so she did what she’d once seen in Konoha.

She burst into tears and made everyone stare.

“B-but my p-pervert of a s-sensei didn’t l-leave me any money!” she sobbed, setting her head on the table and covering it with her arms.

“Er…mister…” the waiter gulped.

“S-so now I c-can’t buy  _a-anything _,__ not even feminine stuff…” Naruto sniffled. “And I’m c-c-constantly being mistaken f-for a  _b-boy!”_

“Mister…um, miss. The lady by the window paid for your drinks…sorry for the inconvenience,” the man gulped. Naruto lifted ‘watery’ eyes to see Tsunade, Shizune, and  _Kurama_ sitting by the window.

Tsunade was smirking. She wiggled her fingers in a clear ‘how’s it going?’, presumably referencing her small task.

Naruto sniffled some more and grabbed the man’s hand.

“Come on, we’ll thank that lady later,” she muttered. The man followed. His hand was cool to the touch. “So, what’s your name?” Naruto asked, tilting her head innocently. The man stared at her with widened eyes, then blinked and coughed.

“Pe-, um, Uzumaki Nagato,” he replied.

Naruto’s eyes widened, becoming as wide as saucers. “Really? I’m an Uzumaki too! On my mother’s side,” she smiled. “Well, actually, I’m from the main line, but I actually am also related to Senju-Uzumaki Mito through my father.”

He blinked at her. “But you have blonde hair.”

Naruto slouched, depressed. “I hate is sometimes…” She straightened. “But it makes people underestimate me, -ttebayo! Still, that pervert sensei of mine…” She raised a trembling fist and shook it at the sky. “YOU’RE DEAD WHEN I SEE YOU AGAIN, YOU STUPID OLD PERVERT!”


	20. Nagato and Power of a God

Somewhere in another town, peeking through a hole at a bathhouse, Jiraiya shuddered as a dark chill crept up his spine, something that only happened when he was threatened by women-

Oh,  _crap._  He’d forgotten to give Naruto money, which meant  _she_  was the one conspiring to kill him.

~:~

IN THE PURE WORLD

“You know, I’m kind of wondering something,” Kushina said, laying her head on her husband’s shoulder. He’d been surprised to appear in the Pure World.

“Hmm?” Minato asked, not looking away from his daughter in the mortal world.

“I’m wondering if we should’ve told Naruto that we’re technically stalking her…” A sweatdrop appeared on Minato’s head.

“I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t care, to be honest,” he said offhandedly. “Though I  _do_ kind of wonder why Tsunade never told me she was my mother.”

“Dear, you may be a genius, but sometimes you’re dumb,” Kushina said as sweetly as she possibly could. 

It really didn’t take a genius to know that Tsunade must have had something bad happen to her.

Hashirama sighed. “How’s she doing?” Kushina glared at him. Hashirama smiled a little sheepishly.

“She’s  _fine._  Now, let us have some alone time!” Kushina snarled.

Hashirama left faster than Tobirama on the end of one of Kushina’s rages.

He just so happened to accidentally enter a portion of the Pure World that was pretty much dedicated to the Uchihas.

There Madara was, looking grumpy.

“Madara!”

Madara groaned. 

~:~

TANZAKU GAI

Naruto looked at Nagato next to her. 

“So where do you come from?”

“Amegakure no Sato,” he said. Naruto tilted her head.

“The Village Hidden in the Rain?” Naruto smiled a bit. “Sounds nice, I guess. I’ve never been.” Naruto winced as Kurama’s irritated voice filtered through her mind.

**You realize you’re talking to one of the robed guys, right? His scent was all over the Uchiha.**

Naruto gulped soundlessly. Then she mentally shrugged. 

 _I’m pretty sure that I’m almost as fast as the_ Hiraishin **_without_**   _the seals, thanks to all those suicide runs, -ttebayo._

**While that’s true, you should really get out of there. He has the Rinnegan.**

Naruto finally realized how deep of crap she was in. She coughed. “I’m sorry, Nagato. I really hope we meet again, but I realized I need to meet a friend. See you!” Naruto was already running as she said that. She turned, and collided with him. Fear settled down in her.

“I apologize, Uzumaki Naruto.”

Naruto felt something slam into her stomach.

**NO!**

Kurama’s shout was the last thing she heard. She frantically called his name. 

_Kurama! KURAMA!_

She felt…sad.

“Why?” she asked him, with hurt in her eyes. “Why are you doing this?”

“Your bijuu will be used for a greater purpose.”

Rage started to bubble in Naruto. She could feel Violet responding to that rage, Shisui pausing.

A snarl curled her lips.

“YOU TEME!”

She pushed all her power to punch him. 

“HE’S NOT JUST A  _BIJUU_ TO ME!” Naruto didn’t realize it, but her chakra was pushing itself out from her fists. It wasn’t refined-not like the Hyuuga Gentle Fist.

This was her rage at this man for having the  _audacity_ to slam a seal on her  _stomach._

“HE’S MY FRIEND! HE’S NOT A TOOL FOR YOU TO _USE!”_ She punctuated her statement with a slamming kick that sent him skidding backwards.

Naruto’s body moved almost on its own as something took over it. It wasn’t like Kurama-Naruto didn’t know what this  _thing_  was.

Naruto felt calm. Accepting. 

Her face stretched into a foxlike grin. 

 _“You’ve taken something precious to me, Uzumaki Nagato.”_ Naruto could feel her incisors becoming even sharper.  _“Let’s see what we can do, hmm? Or are you not a fighting Path?”_

Path? It made no sense.

He got into a fighting stance.

Naruto cackled…and the fight began. Naruto could easily dodge blows she would’ve been killed by.

Chakra welled up and slammed into the man which was followed by a vicious uppercut that sent Nagato flying.

_‘You are short, Uzumaki Naruto…nevertheless, I shall do my best.’_

Naruto would’ve frowned, but then a voice called, “Konnichiwa!”

Nagato looked to the side, and Naruto’s gaze followed to a plant-like man. 

Disgust flowed from whatever was currently inhabiting Naruto to Naruto.

__‘_ White Zetsu. An abomination if there was ever one.'_

“Pein-sama…Yahiko-sama and Konan-sama say you should not do this when it’s obvious you are going to lose.”

Naruto felt her mouth stretching into an even wider grin as Pein glanced at her.

“Let me speak with her. I shall leave soon.”

Zetsu melted.

 _“What now, Uzumaki Nagato? You are not yet beyond redemption,”_ the thing inhabiting Naruto’s body said.

“I am beyond this world. I am a god.”

 _“Just because you have those eyes does not mean you are Kami, Uzumaki Nagato.”_ Naruto was behind the man-no, now she was on his shoulders, leaning over his head with an impish grin.  _“None are forsaken. You don’t have to decide now-take some time to think about it. When you’re willing to remember your old goals…call us.”_

Naruto leaned down and kissed his forehead, looking directly into his eyes. 

Then he was gone, vanished. 

_‘Rest, child.’_

_Kura-_

_‘Don’t worry.’_ Naruto saw sparkles coming from her stomach.  _‘He’s just worried. And…I can’t tell you my name right now. It’s not a good time, you know?’_ Naruto mentally adopted a confused look. Was it just her imagination or did the being sound  _ _sheepish?_ ‘Plus, I wasn’t supposed to interfere…oh, crap, I did it again.’_

_Did what?_

_‘Gave you a tail. Why do I always do these things?!’_

_YOU DID WHAT?!_

Naruto blacked out, not getting to hear the entity’s answer.


	21. Haku's Bunny and Loyalty

**Kit.**

_ KURAMA! _ Naruto went into her mindscape. She leapt at the giant fox. “I missed you!” Tears blurred her vision.

**You mean you missed my chakra, right?**

Naruto withdrew her arms and slapped the fox’s muzzle.

“Baka! I missed  _ you, _ not your chakra,” Naruto answered with a sniffle. “I know I wasn’t gone for a while, but I was-“

_ Scared. Thought you had been permanently shut away. _

The fox vanished.

Kurama’s human male form hugged Naruto, who sniffled in sorrow.

**Don’t worry, Naruto. I’ll always be here.**

_ No you won’t. I’m going to be here someday and you won’t be. I’ll miss you then, _ is what Naruto wanted to say, but didn’t.

But he could hear every thought that passed through her mind.

So he had heard that one, too, by the tightening of his arms.

“I’m glad you’re safe.”

**I find myself reciprocating that feeling of gratitude-** Kurama began, but Naruto’s slumped shoulders made him break off and continue in a gentle tone.  **I’m glad too, Naruto.**

Naruto disengaged and offered him a smile.

“So!” she said brightly. “Shall we see what changes that creature made to my body?”

Kurama flushed for a second.  **Uh, Naruto, you have more of a feminine figure than you used to… I’d suggest using a** **_henge._ ** **Place it on an object you wear everyday, and** **_please find something other than that atrocious orange jumpsuit_ ** **you wear.**

“But I like it!” objected Naruto.

**Naruto, you’re a serious kunoichi now. At least get something other than orange… if you do, I won’t incinerate that kami-forsaken jumpsuit when I have the opportunity.**

“Fine. I’ll attach the  _ henge _ to the Uzumaki swirl,” she sighed.

**Oh, one more thing. A seal on the back of your neck will release your real looks. Release it; it shouldn’t be too troublesome.**

“Okay!” Naruto beamed.

~:~

**KONOHAGAKURE**

Yuki Haku was carrying her rabbit to the market when a man with a Taki hitai-ate appeared.

“Excuse me, do you know an Uzumaki Naruto?” asked the man. He held up a fox necklace. Haku recognized what the necklace meant.

“Yes, I tried to kill him,” Haku said in a bored tone. “Now state your purpose before I ask my compatriot to deal you a killing blow.”

Haku pointed to Zabuza, who was sharpening his blade. He looked up and glared at the Taki runner, who shuddered.

“No payment necessary!” he squeaked in a high pitched tone. He shoved at her an envelope. Haku took it.

Haku smiled, closing his eyes and tilting his head angelically.

The man ran away.

Haku read the letter with a soft smile.

It looked like Naruto was doing fine.

Haku looked at the sky, at the shifting leaves above.

_ Maybe Konoha can become my home. Maybe Zabuza would like it… _

“Zabuza-san.” Zabuza looked up to see Haku in front of him. “Would you like to stay here in Konoha?”

Zabuza gave a noncommittal grunt.

“I’m going to ask Meizu and Gozu.”

Right… those two, who had somehow survived and literally shown up on Zabuza’s doorstep in Wave. He shrugged and left to search for the Oto girl and the Kuso girl; he owed Naruto a  _ lot. _ His life, in fact.

He found them near the slums, exiting a door with hungry looks on their faces.

“Excuse me,” he said with perfect politeness, “are you two Uzumaki Tayuya and Uzumaki Karin? Naruto asked me to look out for you. Yuki Haku.”

“Where  _ is  _ that shithead?” Tayuya grumbled. “Deserting Oto was the bravest thing I’ve ever done, and the shithead isn’t even here to see it.”

“Naruto unintentionally seems to pick up strays,” Haku replied with a smile. “Do any of your friends wish for a home?”

The former Sound Five were in the edges of the shadows, not distinguishable from the other smelly, dirty orphans that littered the streets.

Haku would have to ask Naruto if she was planning on taking in every stray she could.

In a letter, of course.

How else were they going to communicate?

Haku ended up bringing the now-homeless people-much to Zabuza’s disgruntlement-home with him.

“I’ll be writing Naruto now,” he informed Zabuza. “Then I will be going to the Nara clan to ask them something.”

“Are you sure?” Zabuza asked, frowning.

Haku smiled. “I am the last Yuki user in the world,” he informed Zabuza. “I’m fucking awesome with senbon. Yes, Zabuza-san, I am sure.” He moved to the table and wrote Naruto.

_ Naruto, _ he wrote,  _ I have managed to gather about nine (give or take a couple) people in need of a good home. We like Konoha. _

_ Also, I was kind of wondering if you planned on making the Uzumaki clan a mix of clans, as the Yuki clan, the Kaguya clan, and a few…  unique…  people would desperately appreciate it. _

_ Sincerely, _

_ Yuki _

Haku folded up the letter and gave it to his rabbit.

“It goes to Naruto.”

Yuki hopped away.

Haku left the small house and made his way to the Nara compound.

“I want to speak to someone in the clan,” Haku said with his patented closed-eye, head tilted, creepy smile.

He waited a few minutes, then a Nara ambled out of the clan compound.

“It’s troublesome, but you are to follow me,” he said.

Haku didn’t blink as he was led through the compound and saw extremely fit, yet really lazy, people.

He was led to a house, and he was waved inside.

“So what do you want?” a woman asked with a frazzled glare.

Haku smiled serenely. “I really wanted some information on the Uzumaki clan. You are the geniuses of this village. I thought I could ask.”

“Yoshino, just let her in!” said a lazy voice. “Troublesome woman.”

“Come in, then,” Yoshino said with a venomous look shot towards her husband.

“I’m actually a boy,” smiled Haku. “My name is Yuki Haku.”

“You’re part of that clan?” Haku was led to a man with scars, playing shogi with his son. “I thought they were all wiped out when the bloodline purges.”

“I’m genuinely the last of my clan,” Haku said in a pleasant voice. “My mother had it before me.”

“What happened to your father?” the tall man asked.

“I killed him,” Haku said in a monotone. “After I watched him kill my mother for having the clan bloodline, and then tried to kill me.”

He looked down at his lap.

“I met a friend a few months ago. She protected us - endangering herself and her comrades in the process. She saved me and my… friend. I think you can guess who I am  _ exactly _ , now. But I have no plans against her. I was simply wondering about her clan so I know what I’m getting into.”

He looked up to see the younger boy put his face in his hands and the taller guy smirk.

“Looks like your wife will be a handful, Shikamaru.”

“Troublesome,” ‘Shikamaru’ sighed.

“Anyway, the Uzumaki clan,” the man said, then sighed. “Where should I begin?”

“The trio that destroyed Uzushio,” Yoshino said, appearing in the doorway. “It was Kumo, Iwa… and  _ Kiri. _ ”

There was a pregnant pause.

“I see,” Haku said after a pause.

“They feared the fuuinjutsu prowess that the clan had,” the older Nara male said, scratching his beard. “Their longevity, their insane good luck… it was a combined assault that blindsided them and destroyed them. Kiri, Kumo, and Iwa made a gamble against them, and the nations won. Uzumaki scattered across the globe - those that  _ survived. _ Those that didn’t met a gruesome fate. I think Uzushio tried to wait until the messenger reached Konoha, but… the messenger was ambushed and killed. By who? We don’t know. Uzushio and Konoha had ages of friendship between them, so the Uzumaki symbol is sewn onto our flak jackets as a symbol of that.”

Haku nodded and stood. “I see. I swear to you that I will not harm anyone in Konoha - but please, until Naruto-sama gets back… please don’t tell anyone.”

“It’d be too troublesome,” the man sighed. “Oh, Yoshino, can you give him the box you planned to give to him?”

Yoshino arched a brow. “I can. But  _ you _ can carry it, Shikaku.”

The man-Shikaku-sighed. “Troublesome…”

“WHAT WAS THAT?!”

Shikaku paled. “Nothing, dear!”

Haku tilted his head. “Box?” he repeated.

“Yeah,” Shikamaru said. “Mom saw you and those other ex-Oto and ex-Kuso nin.”

Haku nodded, accepting it. “Arigatou.”

“We’re doing this for Naruto… the one person everyone seems willing to follow a lot nowadays,” mused Shikaku as he got up.

“Is such loyalty natural?” Haku asked, puzzled.

“Naruto… is special,” Shikaku said after a second. “She unknowingly has captured the loyalty of a ton of Konohan shinobi. Her latest antic - the re-establishment of the Uzumaki clan inside of Konoha - has caught a  _ lot _ of interest from other nations. If Naruto became Kage before the year is out, I highly doubt any but the most stubborn could resist her.”

“But…” Haku recalled the meadow. Now, though, he realized he hadn’t met the real Naruto then - not really.

_ Haku had walked up, noting the blonde from that Konohan team protecting the bridge builder lying down, resting, it appeared. _

_ Haku took out a senbon, ready to kill - but the boy looked young. _

_ He couldn’t. He couldn’t kill him. He replaced the senbon. _

_ Instead, he shook the boy’s shoulder, and the boy’s gradual awakening shocked him. There was innocence in those eyes, but they were also tired. _

_ Tired of struggling. _

_ This kid had little to no purpose. _

_ “Are you okay?” The kid blinked, then nodded. _

_ “Yeah, I’m fine,” he said. “Just resting. Hey, you’re a really pretty girl!” _

_ “Thanks,” Haku smiled. He didn’t really mind being called a girl. “You’re a handsome boy.” The boy smiled, a tad bitterly. _

_ “I’m a ninja!” the kid suddenly boasted. “I was practicing to go against this really powerful guy.” _

_ “Is it to protect someone?” Haku asked, tilting his head. _

_ “Yeah, but he’s this old geezer with a dramatic son,” the kid scowled. “He’s lucky to have family… you know what I’m saying, right?” _

_ Haku nodded. “I’m an orphan.” He decided not to mention he’d kind of killed his dad. He had a feeling it would not go over well. “I left my homeland because I wanted to protect someone.” _

_ “Why?” _

_ The kid’s innocent question made Haku look up at the sky. _

_ “Because he’s… my precious person. He is someone dear to me.” _

_ “…I see,” the kid said, a strange note in his voice. _

_ He left soon after telling Haku his name- “Uzumaki Naruto.” _

_ Before he’d left, Haku had smiled at him. _

_ “By the way, I’m a boy.” _

_ Naruto had smiled. “By the way, I’m a girl,” he - no, she - said at the same time. _

_ Both had stared at each other in shock, then burst into laughter. _

“Yes,” Haku said softly. “I can see it. Uzumaki Naruto, the hope of the world.”

Haku’s hair rustled. Haku had been buried deep in his memory as they had walked out, and Haku had not even noticed that they were outside.

“I think I could follow her,” Haku said, smiling - this time a real smile. Not his usual one when he was trying to creep people out. “I think that there will come a time when sides will have to be chosen… and when that day comes, I will follow Uzumaki Naruto with every fiber of my being.”

Shikaku looked at her.

“Yeah,” he sighed. “My daughter-in-law will probably be a god among shinobi someday.”

“No,” Haku countered. “She’s going to be a goddess.”  _ One that will protect and safeguard. _


	22. Appearance of Chains

Naruto stared at her figure in the mirror. She was, regrettably, still flat-chested. However, her features were softened, giving her a more female appearance. Her cheekbones were more angled. She stared at the pair of fox ears that were an addition to her normal ears. Her tail looked like a fox’s. Her teeth were sharper than when she’d been inducted into the Inuzuka clan-as sharp as they were while using Kurama’s chakra. Her eyes had a vertical pupil, indicating that she was more foxlike than anything.

**You’re gorgeous,** Kurama said, sounding shocked.

_ Shut up, I’m not ‘gorgeous’. I’d be ‘gorgeous’ if I had breasts. Even SAKURA was getting them! _

**I’m actually serious, Naruto. In my perspective, you’re gorgeous. Now, that seal?**

_ Oh. Right. _ Naruto focused her chakra on the seal. She felt her chakra now-a pins-and-needles sensation that flowed through her that wasn’t entirely unpleasant, but neither was it entirely pleasant. She focused on the seal and pushed chakra on it to release it. An odd feeling made her shudder, and her previously quiet kikaichu shuddered uneasily under her skin.

She opened her eyes.

Nothing much was changed-her hair was a bit longer and redder at the tips…and her skin had a slightly pale cast to it, but that was about it.

**Okay, so that just added to your uniqueness…**

She rolled her eyes and put on her Uzumaki swirl, and instantly she was old Naruto again, and she sighed.

“Time to meditate,” she sighed. “I really do have to see if I can make the Uzumaki chains come out.”

~:~

Kurama had never been so scared in his life when he’d been shut away from Naruto’s mind.

He watched from the inside as Naruto started to meditate.

He’d confronted Tsunade in that coffee shop.

_ He’d been in line and had just given his most terrifying look to the human behind the counter to get free coffee when he’d smelled the woman’s scent. _

_ He turned and spotted her sitting down. _

_ He walked over there, sitting in the only other available seat. _

**_“Hello, pathetic ningen,”_ ** _ he said in lieu of greeting.  _ **_“I don’t know why you’re testing my vessel. You let her die and I don’t think she’d care in the afterlife what I would do with your pathetic self.”_ **

_ “It’s rude to not introduce yourself,” Tsunade shot back calmly. _

**_“I ain’t telling you my real name. Address me as Kyuubi-sama,”_ ** _ he ordered. _

_ Tsunade’s eyes widened. _

**_“Relax, human. Naruto’s back in the hotel room. Don’t care what she’s doing, but I bet it has something to do with that friend of hers. And I’m only allowed out of the seal for a maximum of three hours…and three_ ** **seconds** **_are all I would need if I chose to kill you.”_ **

_ “What do you want?” Tsunade demanded. _

**_“I told her who you were to her,”_ ** _ Kurama smirked.  _ **_“Funny thing - she called you_ ** **Baa-san** **_even before she knew.”_ **

_ “Tsunade-sama?” Tsunade’s human friend asked, looking slightly alarmed. _

_ Tsunade glared at Kurama. _

_ “Does she-“ _

**_“I don’t know the specifics,”_ ** _ Kurama snapped.  _ **_“Nor do I particularly want to. But Naruto’s going to have to hear them, which means I will, too. Just… tell her the whole truth.”_ ** _ The door opened and let in several scents. _

_ Naruto stood there, not even noticing anything around her as she spoke to her ningen friend who she had apparently just met. _

_ Tsunade sighed. “If she passes my test, I’ll tell her,” she said. _

**_“You won’t have to worry, she’ll definitely pass.”_ **

Kurama sighed again.

**‘You’re** **_my_ ** **ningen,’** he thought as Naruto settled.  **‘** **_Mine._ ** **’**

~:~

Tsunade stood in front of Orochimaru, not letting any of her surprise show on her face.

She’d expected  _ Naruto _ here. Not her former teammate.

“Tsunade-hime,” Orochimaru said with a sick smile. “It’s been a while.”

“Yes, but not long enough,” Tsunade said coolly. “And only Jiraiya gets to call me  _ hime. _ ”

Orochimaru sighed. “Tsunade, then,” he said. “I’m here to offer you-“

“Forget it,” Tsunade said, cutting into whatever he was saying. “I don’t care what you’re offering.”

Tsunade heard footsteps.

“Sorry I’m late, Baa-san-oh my kami, it’s the super pedophile!” Naruto yelled, skidding to a stop and pointing at Orochimaru.

Orochimaru smirked and looked like he was concentrating-but then his smirk vanished.

“What did you do to the Curse Mark I gave you?”

Naruto smirked. “Oh, not much. Just focused on my reasons for living. It overcame the orders the mark tried to force me to do.” She grinned. It gave her a foxlike appearance. “And I’m awesome at fuuinjutsu thanks to the Sandaime, so I knew immediately how to erase it from my body.”

“Tch. It doesn’t matter.” Orochimaru looked at Tsunade, who had been quietly simmering in anger. “You allow her to call you  _ baa-san?” _

Tsunade smiled. “Why not, when it’s true? I  _ am  _ her grandmother.” Orochimaru stared at her.

“That’s not possible,” he smirked.

“Remember that mission I was gone for a year with?” Tsunade smirked. “I come back with a child and a story about how the Iwa nin killed its family, give it a random-as-hell name, and you  _ never _ connected the dots as to  _ why _ I was never in the same room as Namikaze Minato? For a genius, that’s  _ dumb.” _

“You… hooked up with a ninja and had my dad?” Naruto asked.

“Hardly,” Tsunade growled. “Your father was not the product of a relationship - he was the product of someone taking advantage of me while drunk.” Her voice was cold. “And that story is not for you, Orochimaru. Leave.”

“Oh, no, I’m  _ quite _ entertained,” the man smirked. “Was the man a spiky-haired blonde?”

“No, I have no idea how Minato’s hair got spiky-hey!” Tsunade charged at Orochimaru. “I said it’s not a story for you!”

Orochimaru evaded Tsunade quickly.

“Still have that fear of blood,  _ hime?” _ he asked with a dark grin.

“Leave her alone!” Naruto growled. Something seemed to  _ shift, _ and she looked completely different.

A single fox tail sprouted from her body, a more feminine shape to her than she had before (though everyone in the vicinity noted that she was still as flat as a washboard), her hair was slightly longer and was tipped at the ends. Her teeth were sharper than an Inuzuka’s, and the eyes only made her look wild. The addition of the fox ears made her look  _ feral, _ but kind of cute.

“You hurt my family and I’ll hurt you even more!” she proclaimed in a raspy growl.

“Oh,” simpered Orochimaru. “How? But hitting me a thousand times?”

“No,” Naruto grinned coldly. “By  _ killing  _ you.”

There was no doubt in her eyes as she said this.

Tsunade eyed her.

“Very well…” Orochimaru stepped aside, and Tsunade edged around him. Naruto took to the rooftops, only to see Orochimaru look sick.

Her eyes widened.

“TSUNA-“

Tsunade whirled around, catching the blade in her hands.

Her face lost all color, gazing at the blood on her hands.

Naruto watched a man that she dimly recognized from the Chuunin Exams run towards her in what would be a killing blow. She threw her hands forward, and agony sliced up her arms and her back. Then she heard a surprised grunt.

Naruto blinked.

“Huh?”

Orange chakra chains glowed as they held the man in place, inches from Tsunade’s back, extending from her wrists and her back.

Then Naruto marshalled her expression and smiled coldly at Orochimaru.

“Go. Away. Or. This. Guy. Dies.”

Orochimaru’s face was a mask of rage, but he did so in a sign-less  _ shunshin. _

Naruto tilted her head at her chains.

“Uh…hey, Tsunade, how do I fling these things?”

Tsunade cleared her throat. “Um, I think you either do the actual motion or command them.”

“Fling,” Naruto ordered them. They rustled, but did nothing.

**Baka…**

Naruto gathered her strength and tried to swing him. The chains were immaterial, made of pure chakra, so… it failed.

Naruto sighed.

_ FLING YOU KAMI-FORSAKEN CHAINS! _

The chains made Naruto’s arms move in a sturdy flinging motion, and the dude was up, up, and away!

She looked to Tsunade. “So, you were saying stuff about my dad?”

Tsunade blinked, then nodded.

“Right. Your father.”

They walked to the nearest coffee shop, not even looking back at the rubble that had once been a street, not paying attention to the angry shop owners, or the awestruck Shizune right behind them.

Sitting back with a cup of hot chocolate, Tsunade began.

“It was on a mission to Iwa in the Second Shinobi World War.”


	23. Tsunade's Tale

**NEAR THE END OF THE SECOND SHINOBI WORLD WAR**

Tsunade had just finished her mission - infiltrating Iwa to get an edge on them - and was sitting down in some random outpost on the very edge of Iwa, drinking, when she was slipped a chakra-disrupting poison.

She hadn’t even realized that she’d been too drunk to realize she hadn’t ordered that drink.

She was dragged out of the bar, unable to resist thanks to her inebriation.

Tsunade remembered being stabbed and raped by a man with blonde hair. Unfortunately, all she could do was scream and ineffectively try to get out of the chains as she was stabbed multiple times in non-vital areas after he had raped her.

She also recalled smelling his drunk breath and seeing his face before he stabbed her. He must’ve said something, but Tsunade couldn’t remember what.

When she came to, pain radiating over her entire body, she knew that she wasn’t in good shape. All over her body were stab wounds and cuts all over her body.

She could feel her chakra coming back, bit by bit.

She prayed to whoever was listening that she wouldn’t bleed out before she got out.

_ I don’t want to die here, _ she thought frantically.  _ Please, Kami. _

A few hours of slipping in and out of consciousness later, her chakra was good enough for her to call on her Strength of One Hundred. Breaking her chains, she limped up a set of stairs and looked around her to see a bunch of dust covering most of everything.

_ I can’t stay here long, _ Tsunade thought. She spied a pad of paper just lying on the table and dragged her battered body over to it.  _ I’ll find you, bastard, _ she thought. Even though she probably wouldn’t find him, she  _ had _ to remember his face.

_ Had to. _

She drew it from her imperfect memory. It was a face of someone about Tsunade’s age, with a cocky smirk on his face.

She clinically wrote down the man’s description, trying to separate herself from him.

Measuring her chakra, she found she had enough to summon Katsuyu. Quickly summoning her, Tsunade explained in a clipped voice what had happened.

Katsuyu healed her and replenished her chakra, but not after being shocked at the state of her body.

“How did you survive, Tsunade? You should have bled out!”

Tsunade helplessly shrugged. “I honestly don’t know,” she responded in a quiet voice.

Katsuyu nodded. “You should rest.”

“I have to get to Hi no Kuni. At least there, I’m safe. More or less.” Tsunade stood.

“Call me so I can give you a check-up in a few weeks,” Katsuyu ordered, and before Tsunade could ask  _ why, _ Katsuyu vanished.

Then Tsunade recalled, with a feeling of nausea, that  _ he _ hadn’t used protection.

When she got back to Konoha, she could feel the symptoms making themselves known, and kept herself hidden from her team until the Hokage was in his office.

“Tsunade,” Sarutobi Hiruzen said with a look of surprise. “Is the mission-?”

Tsunade wordlessly gave him the scroll. Then she went back to staring out the window discreetly.

“Tsunade, what’s wrong?”

She sighed. “Please put privacy seals up.”

He nodded and made the handsigns; Tsunade felt the wave of chakra that contained an appropriate amount for the fuuinjutsu seals around the office.

“I’d like to take at most the rest of the year off from active duty, Sandaime-sama. I need to…” Tsunade swallowed down the bile.  _ I’m carrying a child, and I was raped. _ “I was exhausted,” she finally said, “and stopped for a few drinks. Someone slipped a chakra-inhibiting poison…” She stopped for a second. “The result is, Sandaime-sama, I think I’m pregnant, and I need to carry the fetus away from Konoha.”

The Sandaime said nothing on her choice of words.

“I’ll be sending you on an S-Class mission that will take a while,” he finally said. “I’d suggest you give me your hitai-ate now, so the spies don’t catch you. I hear they’re in Yu no Kuni.”

Tsunade smiled gratefully and gave him her hitai-ate. She was just about to leave when he stopped her.

“Tsunade. Take your time. A year at the most.”

Tsunade nodded, and then she vanished.

Nine months later, she was giving birth.

At the two-month mark, Tsunade came back openly with the child.

“No,” she told everyone she met who asked, “he’s not mine. He lost his parents in an Iwa-nin attack, poor child. His village was destroyed.”

“Can you give him a name?” the orphanage worker said, looking harassed. “Just so we know,” she added hastily. “If you let him into the system he’ll end up being a Poopoo.”

Tsunade wanted to say  _ go ahead and call him that, _ but she refrained and thought hard.

“Minato,” she said. “Namikaze Minato.”

~:~

**PRESENT DAY**

Tsunade took out a piece of paper that had somehow made it through all of her battles.

It looked crisp and new, thanks to the seal Tsunade had placed on it - she wanted to remember the face of the guy who had hurt her.

“This is him,” she said to her granddaughter. “I’ve given up on finding him to make him pay.”

“I’ll find him,” Naruto said, standing up and slamming her hand on the table. “You shouldn’t have had to suffer through that!”

“No,” Tsunade said softly, “I suppose not. But if I hadn’t… you wouldn’t be here, Naruto.”

Naruto sat down. “And yet… I…” Naruto sighed. “I’ll find him, Baa-san. I swear it! I will ask every Iwa nin I come across! Wait, was he a-?”

“Yes,” Tsunade said, irritated. She pointed to the description. “It says he had an Iwa hitai-ate, but I  _ was _ bleeding out when I drew it, so I didn’t find it particularly necessary to draw his hitai-ate on.”

“Then I’ll ask every Iwa nin I meet!” Naruto declared, eyes hardening with resolve.

“Um, miss?”

Naruto turned to see a messenger looking at her nervously.

With a bunny and a letter in his arms.

Totally disregarding the serious atmosphere, Naruto squealed.

“YUKI!” She grabbed the bunny and hugged it. “Go back to Haku, now,” she gently ordered the bunny, which speedily darted away. “So, Tsunade, it’s time for the necklace.”

Tsunade scowled, but took it off.

“Be careful with it,” she told her. “It belonged to the First Hokage.”

“I’m related to three Kages,” Naruto smiled.

“I’m the mother of one,” Tsunade said dryly. “And I’m related to all of them you are, baka.”

Naruto smiled.


	24. Mourning

Returning to Konoha was quick. They met up with Jiraiya on the way, who Tsunade informed of who Naruto was to her.

Naruto walked behind Tsunade as they walked through the village, a fake smile on her face as she faked her happiness. Tsunade would be given the Kage hat, and she’d leave Naruto alone.

The civilian council would make it known, Naruto was sure.

The Konoha Twelve (minus Naruto herself, Sasuke, and Sakura) all crowded around Naruto when Tsunade was inside the Hokage tower.

“So, Naruto?” asked an impatient Kiba, “How is the new Kage?”

Naruto forced a smile. Violet took over.

**“Tsunade-sama is amazing,”** Violet gushed.  **“She and Naruto made a bet! The Legendary Sucker lived up to her name!”**

“I would think she would. Why? Because her name speaks for itself.” Shino’s monotone made Naruto freeze.

Kurama had been doing a good job of making her face the fact that if she blew up at someone when she was forcing herself not to grieve, she’d just hurt all her chances of becoming Chuunin.

“Guys, I… need to be alone,” Naruto said, looking down. There was a quiet hush over the group, and Naruto looked up to see  _ pity _ in each of their gazes.

“Don’t,” Naruto snapped, curling her hands into fists. “ _ Don’t look at me like that!” _ She shoved through them, stumbling a bit, before she ran through the village to her solitary home in the Inuzuka compound.

She opened the door and blinked.

It was silent.

She knew, of course, that they wouldn’t be there, but it had been pushed aside in favor of her other problems-mainly, getting Tsunade.

“Tadaima.” She whispered the word. It seemed to echo.

Naruto moved into the house, Violet and Shisui at her heels. Naruto turned on the light, and there it was. The picture on the coffee table.

Naruto was smiling, no Inuzuka clan markings on her face; Kahara was ruffling her hair, and Shiki stood right behind Naruto with his over large coat.

Naruto closed her eyes and recalled actually meeting Kahara, after the council meeting.

_ “Naruto.” Naruto turned to see Shiki standing there stoically. “I’d like you to meet my wife, Kahara.” _

_ Kahara appeared. Wild brown hair, Inuzuka fang marks on her cheeks, and wearing standard shinobi gear but no headband that claimed her allegiance, she looked pretty nice. _

_ “As you know, I’m Inuzuka Kahara. Call me Kahara, Kaa-san… whatever you want, okay? You could even call me ‘hag’!” _

_ “But that would be a lie,” Naruto said to her honestly. “You’re very pretty.” _

_ Kahara laughed, a deep, loud laugh that drew heads. _

_ “I like you, kid,” Kahara smiled. “You’re honest.” _

_ ~:~ _

_ Kahara and Naruto walked through the market, people whispering about Naruto and ‘how dare the demon child do that to that poor Inuzuka lady’. _

_ When they got home, Naruto was quiet, and Kahara called her name. _

_ “Naruto? What’s wrong?” _

_ “Why did you take me in?” Naruto asked. “Was it because Aunt Tsume told you to?” _

_ Kahara stopped putting the groceries away. _

_ “It was,” Kahara admitted, walking into the living room. “I thought what everyone else did once.” _

_ Naruto flinched and went to leave, but Kahara stopped her with her next words. _

_ “And then I found out how kind and loving you were.” _

_ Naruto turned to her adoptive mother. _

_ Kahara’s brown, vertically slit eyes held warmth and affection in them. _

_ “I don’t think you’re a monster anymore, because I know it isn’t your fault, okay? I think you gave Shiki and I a chance to repair our relationship and a chance for me to experience what a mother is.” _

_ “Repair your relationship with Shiki-tou-san?” Naruto asked, confused. _

_ Kahara sighed. “He’s logical. Sometimes  _ too _ logical. He said he didn’t want to have kids because the mix of genes wouldn’t work well.” Kahara frowned. “But he’s also my mate. Something Inuzuka’s have in order to have the best children genetically possible. That idiot doesn’t understand.” _

_ “It is an instinct?” Naruto wondered. _

_ “Yeah, but you don’t have to worry about that until you’re fifteen. Males don’t get it. Plus there’s always a chance of you having more than one mate.” Kahara winked at Naruto. “It would probably make for a fun-“ _

_ “Kahara. She is  _ twelve.”

_ “I need to know this stuff!” Naruto protested. “If I don’t… I might jump the guy I’m supposed to mate with!” _

_ Naruto was rewarded with Kahara’s loud, deep laugh. _

_ “She’s right, Shiki,” smirked Kahara. _

_ “Honestly, Shiki-tou-san, I  _ do _ know how sex works,” Naruto reminded him. “I work in a brothel.” _

_ “Does it make you happy?” Kahara asked, her laugh stopping. _

_ “I get to help others,” Naruto honestly replied. “And since it’s a place with the policy of ‘don’t kiss and tell under torture’, discreet shinobi can come and tell us workers what they did. It’s like therapy, only… with sex.” _

_ “If you’re happy, then I won’t stop you,” Kahara said quietly and then rubbed Naruto’s head… then decided to pull her in a hug. _

_ A few seconds later, Naruto hesitantly put her arms around Kahara. _

_ Then both Kahara and Naruto looked to Shiki. _

_ “Shiki, get your butt over here and hug us,” ordered Kahara. _

_ Shiki muttered something under his breath, but hugged them, creating a family sandwich. _

_ Naruto smiled. _

Naruto hiccupped and wiped her eyes. She was still in the living room. Violet and Shisui were by her feet, and Naruto’s kikaichu had settled in clumps all around the living room, feeling the sadness.

Naruto took a deep breath.

And then she broke down again, unable to hold up her crumbling façade.

It took her about three hours to stop crying and a two-hour nap to remove most of the evidence of her tears.

~:~

Tenzou, codenamed ‘Yamato’, wondered why Uzumaki Naruto had been called by the newest Kage, Senju Tsunade. He knew the boy - er, girl, as it was revealed during the Chuunin Exams - had helped retrieve her, but  _ still. _

And he was kind of irritated that he was the one chosen to wake her up.

Perching on the window of her house, he spotted her in the living room, sleeping on the floor next to the couch. Yamato spotted her kikaichu  _ outside  _ of her body, and her ninken friends curled up against her… and she looked positively  _ cherubic _ in sleep. Her face had relaxed, and it looked like she was innocent of this world.

He regretting having to wake her up. She was  _ cute. _

“Uzumaki-san.  _ Uzumaki-san! _ Naruto!”

Naruto rolled over and snored softly. Yamato gritted his teeth.

“Praise Ramen-sama,” he snarled.

Naruto jerked up. “SOMEONE HAS JOINED THE TROUPE OF RAMEN-SAMA!” She announced, startling her ninken awake.

“Uzumaki-san,” Yamato said, calling attention to him. “I am here to escort you and your ninken and… kikaichu… to see the Godaime.”

“Oh, did I miss the ceremony?” Naruto seemed disappointed.

“Yes, but Tsunade-sama says she forgives you. She wishes to speak with you and the council.” Naruto nodded.

“Can I have ten minutes?”

“You have five,” he replied shortly.


	25. Council Again

Tsunade coughed. “I have assigned an ANBU member to grab someone I wish to speak to you about.” Tsunade’s eyes glittered. Shizune lifted Tonton and ducked her head to hide her own malicious grin.

This council was going to see what would happen if they messed with Tsunade of the Sannin.

~:~

Yamato escorted Naruto quickly through the village, jumping on rooftops. He inwardly snickered at the thought of the civilians getting annoyed at the ninja foot traffic, but then, this  _ was _ a ninja village.

Naruto easily kept pace with him, and they were at the Hokage Tower within minutes.

Yamato showed her to the council room, then vanished to hide in the shadows to protect the Hokage.

This would be  _ fun. _

~:~

Tsunade waited until the doors opened to move. She stood and smirked as Naruto entered hesitantly.

“You wanted to see me, Tsunade-sama?” she said, her wide blue eyes innocent.

Tsunade just gave her a wider smirk, then turned to the council, who were all staring at Tsunade in horror.

“You can’t be serious, Hokage-sama! The demon brat should die for what he’s put us through!” A brunette civilian who owned a clothing store by the name of Kenji Konoko shouted

“I agree!” yelled another civilian who owned a large food store, by the name of Kaziko Kai.

“I don’t,” Ichiraku Teuchi said plainly. “The kid is human and should live.” Tsunade felt a flash of appreciation for the ramen maker, who was only a part of the council because of Minato and Kushina.

Tsunade suspected it was Kushina’s idea. All Uzumakis claimed ramen was holy food.

“You only say that because he’s your best customer!” Haruno Mebuki growled. Her hair was a brighter pink than her daughter’s. And she was twice as annoying. She  _ had _ been a ninja, but apparently turned her hitai-ate in after she broke her ankle after becoming a jounin after Minato had died.

She coveted power.

“I think Uzumaki Naruto would make a valuable weapon, if used correctly,” Danzou said smoothly.

“You ain’t using a member of  _ my _ clan, warhawk,” Tsume growled.

“And neither will you use the child of my late brother,” Aburame Shibi said in his usual monotone.

“Troublesome, but Yoshino would kick my ass if I said nothing, even if you know where I stand,” Shikaku said. “No future daughter-in-law of mine will be used as an emotionless, logical tool. No offense, Shibi.”

Shibi simply inclined his head.

“I’m not sure using the jinchuuriki-“ began Yamanaki Inoichi, but he was cut off by Naruto, who slammed her hands on the table, having darted up there at the beginning of Inoichi’s sentence faster than Tsunade or the ANBU could stop her.

“ _ Don’t you dare use that word!”  _ Naruto growled at them. Her eyes were filled with an unusual amount of anger. “You don’t get to use that word!”

“Excuse me, child, this discussion is-“ Danzou began, but Naruto  _ growled. _ Not like the Kyuubi, but like an Inuzuka.

(Tsume looked  _ proud _ , in the corner of Tsunade’s eyes. Tsunade was, too.)

“Shut up!” she yelled. “First of all, I’m female. Second of all, I am the human sacrifice used to house the Kyuubi. I  _ know _ that. But using the word ‘jinchuuriki’ makes it sound like we  _ aren’t _ human - we are. We  _ are _ human! Stop using that word and address us as a  _ human!” _

Her passionate speech made everyone stare.

“My apologies,” Inoichi said, recovering quickly. “I was going to say using the girl is an unwise decision.”

Akimichi Chouza only shrugged. “She eats, so she shouldn’t be used.”

Simple, direct… and Tsunade wasn’t the only one to sweatdrop at the Akimichi’s statement.

He was eating even then, the crunch of chips audible in the quiet room.

“Er… yes, but that isn’t what I was going to say at all,” Tsunade said, everyone turning to look at their Hokage. “What happens when someone tries to kill Sarutobi Asuma or Sarutobi Konohamaru?”

“The person is executed, usually,” Mebuki replied, flicking her pink-colored nails. “Mostly because Asuma-san is a jounin and Konohamaru is a child and the grandson of the Sandaime and is to be treated with high honor, just like we would treat the descendants of the Senju brothers.”

Tsunade smirked viciously. “And what if there was someone who had a claim to being the Senju brothers’ descendant and two other Kages’ descendant?”

“That person should be given as much honor as the Honorable Grandson of the Sandaime,” replied Teuchi slowly. “Perhaps even more.”

Tsunade quashed her victorious look, keeping it mental. “And what if nobody knew? Should they be pardoned?”

“Whether they knew or not, it’s a criminal offense,” said Shikaku. “In this village, at least.”

Tsunade smirked. “That’s good news.” Tsunade stared at the table full of people. “I must announce this to you at large: when I was in Iwa during an S-RANK infiltration mission, I was raped and stabbed.” Tsunade heard the expected shifting. “I was shocked to later find that I was pregnant. As I was just a teenager then, I knew I could not take care of the child, so I gave it to an orphanage and gave the blonde baby a name: Namikaze Minato.”

There was a pause as everyone just  _ stared _ at the woman.

Tsunade yanked Naruto in front of her. “And his daughter is Uzumaki Naruto. Uzumaki Naruto is the daughter of Namikaze Minato, who was the son of me, Senju Tsunade, who is the granddaughter of Senju Hashirama and great niece of Senju Tobirama. Also, she’s the new Head of the Uzumaki clan. Her mother was Uzumaki Kushina, the late heiress of the royal Uzumakis.”

A pin could’ve been heard dropping.

“Uzumaki Kushina is related, through much research on my part, to Senju Tobirama through his daughter, Senju Korra, who married into the royal line. Now, I ask you this: Should Uzumaki Naruto be killed for something my son did to her?”

A tinkling sound was heard five silent minutes later.

Tsume looked at the pin in apparent amazement. “Wow, you really  _ can _ hear a pin drop.”

Tsunade looked around the council, ignoring Tsume’s impatient pin drop.

“So is everyone in agreement that we’re  _ not _ planning on killing Uzumaki Naruto?” Everyone nodded rather quickly.

Tsunade then turned to Naruto.

“Let’s go into my office. We’ll hammer out the details of your clan compound, and the members of your clan.”

Naruto nodded, and she was firmly escorted out.

Ichiraku Teuchi snickered at the other faces, including a pale Haruno Mebuki who just realized that she’d pretty much lost all chances of robbing the Legendary Sucker of more money.

The law was the law, after all.


	26. Clan Matters

“So, how big do you want your compound?” Tsunade took a map out. “Here’s a map-“

“Is Training Ground 44 taken?” Naruto interrupted.

“No,” Tsunade said with a small smile. “Is it a place you’d like to stay?”

“Maybe building a compound on the outside of it would be good, maybe next to the small lake over there?” Naruto wondered if she was pushing it as she pointed to the lake.

“Very well,” Tsunade nodded. “Do you need help with Mokuton?”

“No…” Naruto stared at the area she was going to have. “I think the training ground will welcome me.”

“Now, that part is settled. Members?” Tsunade picked up a pen and a piece of paper.

“Um… so far I have…well, Yuki Haku, Momochi Zabuza, Uzumaki Tayuya and Uzumaki Karin so far.” Naruto avoided Tsunade’s stare. “I’m also pretty sure that Haku found some other members to add, -ttebayo.”

“Are all of them S-Class missing nin?”

“No… just some of them.”

Tsunade sighed. “Okay. Come back whenever to tell me who they are.”

Naruto hugged her grandmother.

“Bye!”

She bounced out of the room, and Violet looked at her.

**“Naruto-sama, should we see if we can smell Yuki and Haku?”**

“Please,” Naruto said. “I can’t remember their scents.”

Violet and Shisui started to track them. Violet was the one to lead them, though, and she took off running.

“Violet! Wait!” Naruto ran behind her fox partner, becoming a blur to everyone looking at her.

She didn’t even see the rest of the Konoha genin that felt her blow past them look after her.

~:~

“Was that Naruto?” Kiba asked Akamaru, who barked an affirmative. Akamaru was not advanced enough to communicate in words quite yet. Shisui was a dog-genius.

“That blur was  _ Naruto?” _ Sasuke asked, hands clenching.

“The dead last?” Sakura wondered.

“She’s not a dead last, Forehead,” Ino said in an impatient tone. “My dad said that it’s better if we were friends with her. Or at least acquaintances.”

“She is pretty nice when you get to know her,” Tenten agreed. “Especially for someone who works-“ she shut her mouth abruptly. “Never mind,” she said. “Neji, aren’t you and Hinata going to go train?”

Neji nodded. “Come, nee-chan.”

“Okay, Neji-nii-san!”

~:~

Naruto raised her hand to knock on the door to a modest apartment.

The door flew open.

“Who-? Oh, thank Kami it’s the shithead!”

Tayuya and Karin jumped on Naruto, crying tears of joy.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, puzzled and wondering why they’d jumped her.

“Kimimaro tried-“

“Haku is insane!”

“To kill me!”

Naruto chuckled. “Just so you know, Haku’s going to be in the clan if he wants. I’m actually here to say the clan compound will be up in a few days… and who exactly is going to be in it?”

“A bunch of people,” Haku’s cool voice said. “Naruto-chan. It is nice to see you again.”

“You too!” Naruto smiled. “And will you have to do the CRA?”

“No. I am in a steady relationship with Zabuza right now. Instead, we will ask women to carry our children should we want any.” Haku’s precise wording made Naruto grin.

She hugged the Hyoton user.

“Arigatou!” she sang.

“No problem,” Haku replied. “Where will the compound be?”

“You’ll see,” Naruto smiled. “I have to go and make it real fast, but I’ll be back! I just wanted to make sure you’re all right.”

“Yes. Nara Shikamaru occasionally comes by with supplies. Oh, and Naruto? I was told by Shikamaru to tell you something.” Haku’s smile vanished. “The Kages that were there? This was supposed to be a Kage Summit - seeing the future of Konoha’s ninja was simply a bonus.”

Naruto got it. The Kages were looking for potential ninja to steal.

And she’d basically pointed a neon sign at herself saying ‘I’m one of the best ninja in my generation even though I’m short and flat-chested! Also, I’m an Uzumaki who has Mokuton!’

Mother------!

Naruto didn’t complete the swear in her head. Aunt Tsume had a very bad habit of popping up out of nowhere and simply screaming ‘language!’ at her.

“Well, I’m going to be in dozens of places at once soon, so I think they’ll have a hard time finding the real me,” Naruto replied darkly. Then she smiled. “So, can you get me a list of people who want to stay in the clan compound and I’ll give it to Tsunade later?”

“Of course,” Haku replied.

“Thanks!” Naruto smiled and shoved the crying Tayuya and Karin at Haku, who grabbed their collars. “I’ll be back in a couple days!”


	27. Itachi's Request and New Summons

Naruto panted as she finally finished the house.

It was a two-story polished wood house with a fence all around the property (a  _ long _ fence). It had been a while since she’d strained her chakra this much.

With one blood clone out, Naruto was going to be able to do a  _ lot _ more things.

“I almost feel like-“

Naruto tensed as she felt someone coming.

She turned, and spotted a raven with a Sharingan eye. Itachi’s Mangekyou.

**I wish the stupid Uchiha eyes didn’t exist,** complained Kurama.

_ Relax, Kurama. Maybe one day they won’t, _ Naruto thought. She held her hand out to the bird.

The raven landed on her arm and eyed her for a second.

Then the raven vanished, a letter and a noticeably large, but not as large as Jiraiya’s Toad Summoning scroll, scroll was all that was left, the scroll and letter falling to the ground.

Naruto summoned a wood post and sat down against it.

She opened the letter, brushing the dirt off of the envelope.

_ Naruto, _

_ You might wonder why I am sending you these things. Well, the truth is I am dying. _

_ You know the truth to the Uchiha Massacre. I can only assume the Kyuubi has told you. _

_ I originally planned on dying by Sasuke’s hand, but I can no longer afford to wait that long. My disease hasn’t progressed, but I know that I will eventually become blind unless I get the Eternal Mangekyou Sharingan or get a new pair of non-Uchiha eyes. _

_ I must ask you a favor. Please sign the crow contract; if I die and this contract does not belong to someone I chose, then they will most likely get someone I do not want as a summoner. _

_ I know that you are going to most likely summon toads; my crows have no quarrel with them and promise not to eat them. They also agreed to not attack any other summons you may have in the future unless it is the snakes (and only if the snakes are led by that one snake that demands sacrifices). Your unique clan heritages have also been noted by the crows. _

_ Naruto, if we meet again, I will do my utmost to capture you because I must continue playing as an Akatsuki member… and yes, that is the name of our organization. _

_ With best wishes, _

_ Uchiha Itachi _

_ P.S. Deidara and Kisame both applaud you for kicking Leader-sama’s butt! I do, too. _

_ P.P.S. Please tell Sasuke to abandon his hatred. Tell him of the truth if you must. Please keep him fighting for Konoha, Naruto. If you cannot convince him… at least you tried. _

Naruto sighed. “Another contract? Fine, Itachi, I’ll have to ask Fukasaku-jiji-toad first.”

She bit her thumb and ran through the handsigns. “Kuchiyose!” She slammed her hand on the ground, and the geezer toad was there.

“Ah, Naruto-chan. How may I help you?” the unperturbed toad asked her.

“Ah… can I sign other contracts?” Naruto asked.

“Oh… yes. You’ll have to make it clear which ones you want to summon.”

“I assumed so,” Naruto nodded. “Arigatou, Fukasaku-sama.”

“Ah, Naruto-chan. Don’t be so formal!” the toad laughed before vanishing.

Naruto pouted cutely. She unrolled the Crow scroll and signed her name with a brush with drying ink on it (maybe it had already been there?), then bit her thumb and pressed it down.

“Kuchiyose: Karasu!”

A crow appeared. Well, it was a  _ big _ crow-big enough to be high up in the air on.

Naruto gulped. “Uh… hi, crow-sama!”

“Call me Kara,” the crow invited. Naruto blinked-it sounded feminine. “Now, Itachi has told me you knew a jutsu called the shadow clone?”

“Actually, if the need is now, I can send a blood clone,” Naruto offered. She guessed correctly, for Kara dipped her beak.

“You may.”

Naruto concentrated; with a burst of Kurama’s chakra, another Naruto stood there, looking perfectly fine.

Naruto swayed, and the world tilted dangerously. Then everything went black.

~:~

The first blood clone Naruto ever made was actually working in Ichiraku under a  _ henge _ when she felt like something had happened to the original her.

Kurama was linked to each one of them, and had explained something to the now two blood clones - the reason blood clones were ‘forbidden’ wasn’t simply because of the chakra usage; creating a blood bunshin only halved the user’s chakra-chakra that could be refilled.

No, what made this an ultimately forbidden jutsu was the fact that the jutsu went two ways.

Unlike the Kage Bunshin which were dispelled and then the experience was transferred to the original user of the Kage Bunshin - and if the user of the Kage Bunshin died, the Kage Bunshin popped - the blood clone (or the  Ketsueki Bunshin), gave the user two-or three, as was the case-bodies. If one body died-if Naruto, the original died-her experience and consciousness would be traded into the oldest clone at that point in time, making the blood clone the  _ real  _ Naruto _.  _ Everything from mental state, soul state, and physical state would get transferred.

It was possibly one of the things that granted Uzumakis their longevity.

And it was also seriously confusing. Since Kurama had added a bit of his chakra into each clone, Kurama would continue to be imprisoned. But he would also continue to live.

**Don’t worry about your original,** Kurama said to the second official Naruto.  **She’s fine. She’ll probably call you in soon. She probably forgot that you were here… no offense, I almost did, too.**

Naruto-clone-1 shook her head and continued to work with her ramen.

~:~

Naruto-clone-2 found herself in a dark world.

“Wow,” she said, amazed.

“This is where Itachi-sama told us to train you,” Kara said. “Let us begin.”

Naruto’s last thought before she dived into training was  _ Itachi, if this is some sick joke, I swear I will kill you. _

~:~

The original jutsu user woke up rather slowly.

“Honestly,” Tsunade said in a soft tone, “you need to stop overworking yourself, Naruto. Otherwise you will die.”

“I’d rather die than let the people around me down,” Naruto said fiercely.

Tsunade sighed. “Tomorrow you and Jiraiya will leave, although I still will have to teach you after-“

“Uzumaki kenjutsu,” interrupted Naruto with a smirk. “I’ll get the knowledge and the shape. Seriously,” Naruto added. “Plus I had a Ketsueki Bunshin around anyway.”

Naruto closed her eyes. She wanted to rest-

“Uchiha Sasuke has defected from the village!”

Naruto shot up, but Tsunade sighed and clocked her. Naruto was out before she hit the pillow.


	28. Wrong Person

Naruto-the-blood clone stopped what she was doing-

**You even** **_think_ ** **about going after the Uchiha brat and I’ll make sure you’re unconscious until he’s long gone.**

_ But- _

**No. Do** **_not_ ** **go after him. He wants to defect? Let him.**

_ But I have to- _

**Naruto.** Kurama’s voice became startlingly gentle.  **Your job is to focus on the fact that the Akatsuki is after you. You need to** **_focus_ ** **on getting better. Getting strong.**

_ If I only focus on that I’m just like Sasuke! Plus, Itachi asked me to do one thing. I can’t  _ not _ do that. _

Kurama’s silence was all she needed to walk over to Teuchi. Kurama had given her the rundown after Naruto had been out for a couple hours.

“I have to go,” she said to him.

He nodded. He knew Sasuke was… well, friend was a term she would not use to address Sasuke. Sasuke was a  _ teammate. _

She ran out of the stand and dispelled her  _ henge. _

She joined Shikamaru at the gate.

“I’m going,” she said in a steely voice when it looked like they were going to argue against it.

They were silenced by her ‘don’t fuck around’ attitude.

“Troublesome, but fine. Let’s go!” The group darted out. “Naruto! I have heard that five people helped him sneak out, all of them Otogakure nin. Create bunshins. Make them  _ henge _ into us.”

“There’s no way she can-“ started Neji, only to shut up when Naruto effortlessly created about a hundred and fifty Kage Bunshin. They immediately used  _ henge _ and became likenesses of the team as a whole.

_ Sasuke… I have to tell you the truth. _

“Shikamaru, I need to go to Sasuke. Please,” Naruto begged him.

Shikamaru nodded. “You and I will go ahead together. Neji, you’re in charge for now. Got it?”

“Hai!” Neji said, activating his Byakugan.

Shikamaru and Naruto darted ahead.

“What do you need to tell him?” Shikamaru asked Naruto.

Naruto stared ahead of her determinedly.

“The truth of the Uchiha Massacre.”

Shikamaru looked at her, shocked. “The truth?” he asked, puzzled.

“Shikamaru, I highly doubt Itachi would’ve killed his own clan. I knew him well… and I think I still do. I highly doubt such a pacifist like Itachi would mindlessly slaughter his entire clan without a reason.” Naruto kept running. “Let’s hurry. I think I know where he is.”

“Where?”

“I think he’s at the Valley of the End.”

~:~

About an hour later they emerged, and sure enough, Sasuke was resting for a minute.

His dark eyes flashed and met Naruto’s.

Naruto shivered. The hate in his chakra was almost overwhelming.

Shikamaru’s shadow discreetly attached to Sasuke’s.

“Sasuke, I was asked by Itachi to tell you the truth.”

Sasuke glared at her.

“What makes you think I want to hear this so-called truth?” sneered Sasuke. Naruto took a deep breath.

“The reason the Uchiha were killed is because they were planning a coup d'état.” Shikamaru sucked in a shocked breath. “They were planning on overthrowing the government because of what happened the night of the Kyuubi’s attack.”

“Oh?” Sasuke asked. “And what would that be?”

“An Uchiha by the name of…” Naruto almost hesitated, but then forged on, “…well, using the alias of Uchiha Madara.” Not the entire truth, and in the corner of her eye she felt the stare Shikamaru leveled at her. So he knew she was lying.

“I don’t care.” Sasuke’s chakra never fluctuated, but it was full of maliciousness and hate.

Wait… maliciousness?

“You’re not Sasuke,” Naruto growled. That meant Sasuke was long gone.

Easily breaking out of the shadow hold, the person stood up and grinned.

It was Orochimaru.

Naruto, in her current shape, could not do anything but throw a  _ Hiraishin _ blade and flash away with Shikamaru to the tag discreetly placed on Neji during the dispersal of  _ henged _ clones.

“We’re leaving,” Naruto said, her voice quivering. She was in no way ready to fight Orochimaru. Whatever her original did, it seemed to cause Orochimaru to get an even greater interest in her.

“What’s wrong?” Shikamaru asked, concern in his usually laid-back voice.

“We’re not equipped to make Orochimaru flee,” Naruto replied. “Let’s go.”

The group made their way back to the village, spirits low.


	29. Forbidden Uzumaki Jutsu

When the original Naruto woke up, it was with a pounding headache and bright sun in her eyes.

She also found out she was moving.

“You’re awake, I can tell by your heartbeat.”

Naruto frowned.

“We’re a long ways away from the village, just so you know.” Naruto rolled over. They were on hay, which meant they were catching a ride from a farmer… on the back of his cart. Jiraiya was reading something. “Also, do you have a connection with your Ketsueki clone?”

Naruto swallowed a bit. “I don’t know.” She hesitated a bit. “I left a Ketsueki-“

“I know.” Jiraiya’s response was gentle. “I know that Itachi sent you the crow contract. What I’m asking is do you have a connection with the clone in Konoha?”

Naruto nodded. “I think so. Kyuu is the one that’s connected to each of them, to be completely honest.”

“What I want you to do is create a blood clone. Can you make one of me?” Naruto chewed on her lip thoughtfully.

“I can, but I’d have to do them both. There is still a risk of me passing out from chakra exhaustion. Why?” she asked him.

“I want you to learn a certain type of jutsu. It’s called senjutsu, and it’s a type of jutsu that can really only be taught at the home of the frogs.”

“Seriously, I’m over-using this jutsu,” Naruto growled as she hopped out of the cart. She held her hand out. “I need some of your blood.”

Jiraiya pricked his finger. She made the cross sign. “Kage Bunshin no jutsu!” An exact copy of Jiraiya appeared with the chakra reserves of both Naruto and Jiraiya. Then, Naruto focused on the type of Ketsueki clone she was going to make and made the signs for the forbidden jutsu. She slammed her hands down and called, “Ketsueki Bunshin no jutsu!” Another copy of her came in front of her, and Naruto staggered at the loss of chakra before recovering a little and using chakra to jump up into the cart again. “It has all your memories. After it pops - which shouldn’t be too soon because of how much chakra it has - the memories it has of  _ after _ I made it will go to me and you. Unfortunate side-effect, but it still works.”

“I assume that’s how you saved those two missing-nin?” Jiraiya teased her.

Naruto threw up her hands in mock anger. “I can’t keep a secret, can I?” she mock-groaned.

“I think you can,” Jiraiya smirked. There was a puff of smoke as the now-distant clones reverse-summoned themselves. “One last thing-any side-effects on your part?”

“Just make sure that I’m not anywhere near a battle for a couple weeks after the blood-clone pops,” Naruto said cheerfully. “Otherwise, I might die because I’ll be in a coma because the chakra coils in my blood-clone mimic mine and add to mine, either double the amount or thrice the amount, depending on how long the clone exists.” Naruto shrugged. “One of the few drawbacks. It’s kind of irritating.”

“I see,” Jiraiya nodded. “I suppose implementing that in your training wouldn’t be a great idea.”

“What exactly are you going to teach me?” Naruto asked suspiciously. “And where are my ninken?”

“Oh, they’re in the capital, which is actually where we’re headed. The Fire Daimyo asked for a meeting. I couldn’t refuse.” Naruto stared at her teacher, then an irk mark appeared as Jiraiya looked…  _ shifty. _

“YOU’RE GOING TO THE CAPITAL TO GIVE THE FIRE DAIMYO AN AUTOGRAPHED COPY OF YOUR PERVERTED BOOKS, AREN’T YOU?! YOU REALLY  _ ARE _ A PERVERT!”

“SHUT UP!”

~:~

Tsunade looked up and did a double take for a minute.

“Naruto - but how?”

Naruto rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly. “Ah… Baa-san, I’m with Jiraiya at the moment… I’ll just go by Ketsueki, -ttebayo!”

Tsunade understood. “Oh. Okay. Stay after. I need to ask you for that list.”

“Right,” Naruto nodded. Everyone else in the room looked confused.

“Nara Shikamaru, stay here. Iruka, you can stay too… Kakashi, this does have to do with one of your students, so stay. Asuma, go get Nara Shikaku and Nara Yoshino. Oh, and Naruto, stay,” Tsunade added. “Everyone else  _ including _ the ANBU may leave. Now.” Her voice made them all scurry and do what she ordered.

“Does this have to do with the contract?” Naruto asked, frowning a little.

“Yes, but don’t worry, Naruto,” Tsunade patted her head. “You two won’t be  _ officially _ married until you’re eighteen, and once you’ve been married  _ officially _ for six months you can get a divorce.”

“Okay,” Naruto shrugged. “Oh, Shikamaru… I’m a blood-clone. As one of my clones once wisely thought to a friend,  _ ‘Just because I’m a bunshin does not mean I’m not still Naruto’. _ I am Naruto… a version of her. Once we merge together we’ll be the same person!” Naruto beamed at him.

“So you used your clan’s forbidden jutsu?” Shikamaru asked lazily.

Tsunade’s rather angry face made Naruto chuckle nervously.

“Um…”

“UZUMAKI NARUTO, DID YOU USE AN UZUMAKI KENJUTSU?!”

“Uh… maybe? Only to help, I swear!”

~:~

**IN THE PURE WORLD**

“Ouch… do you have to throw a  _ desk _ at her, Tsunade-sama?” Minato flinched as Tsunade threw her desk at Naruto. Luckily, Naruto only had a mild concussion. “It’s almost like Kushina when she’s mad at me!”

“What was that, dear?” Kushina’s sweetly poisonous voice asked.

“Nothing!” Minato yelped.

Kushina beamed. “That’s what I thought!”

Minato ignored the sympathetic looks he got from Tobirama, Hashirama, and surprisingly a forcibly-taken-from-whatever-he-was-doing Uchiha Madara.

Apparently watching his daughter was the best thing to do here… even if it was supposed to be the end for all of them.

Even though Minato was kind of hurt that it took his mother so long to appear, even if she’d been there almost all his life, never looking at him for more than a minute - not really being around even when she was around.

Minato couldn’t bring himself to hate her. After all, she was giving his daughter what he couldn’t. What Kushina and him couldn’t, because they died the day she was born.

_ Arigatou, Tsunade-sama. _


	30. Marriage Contract

“Now, sign here,” Tsunade scowled, sipping a small amount of sake. “And here. Iruka, you’ll have to act as guardian, since you’re one of the only constants Naruto has in her life. And Kakashi, you’ll sign as witness.” They signed the appropriate places. “Yoshino, Shikaku, you’ll have to sign here, as well.” She tapped the ‘parent/guardian portion. “Naruto, as Uzumaki clan head, you may keep your last name, and as Shikamaru is most likely going to be clan head of his clan, he may keep his last name. Are we all agreed?”

There were nods all around.

“This brings me to one other matter. Asuma, Kakashi, I would like to personally train Yamanaka Ino, Haruno Sakura, and Uzumaki Naruto in the art of being a iryonin.” Naruto stared at Tsunade, who simply smirked at her briefly before the smirk vanished. “Also, I would not be opposed if I could train Hyuuga Hinata, either. All four of those girls have a lot of potential to be medics, and if they were battlefield medics, it would be even better.”

Naruto looked down, a smile tugging at her lips as she spoke.

“Hey, Asuma-sensei, you  _ know _ Kurenai-sensei, right?” Naruto wiggled her brows at Asuma to cement her point.

Asuma blushed as Kakashi chuckled.

Tsunade coughed, though she was smirking, too. “Alright. Naruto, do you need anything for your house?”

“No,” Naruto shook her head. “Haku’s bringing me all the things I need… also, I erected a fence around it. Well, Original-Me did… seriously, why can’t I just say ‘me’?” Naruto scowled and pouted.

“Can I see your chakra chains?” Tsunade asked after a moment.

Naruto jumped up like an excited puppy. “I UNLOCKED THEM?! THAT’S AWESOME! No. I don’t have them. I was created before I left the village.”

“Which time?” Tsunade questioned.

Naruto scratched her chin. “Before we found you, -ttebayo.”

“Hm. That doesn’t present an issue; I just wanted to see them. Okay,” Tsunade said, smiling a little, “Naruto, go get your new clan members settled. Do you want to make a new crest, or-?”

“I’ll make one, yeah, but can I have the red crest on the door to my house?” Naruto asked, clasping her hands together as if she were begging.

“I don’t care,” Tsunade replied. “Now go. I have paperwork to finish.”

Naruto frowned, tilting her head as Izumo and Kotetsu entered with Tsunade’s slightly damaged desk and set the desk down.

“Ne, Baa-san… why don’t you just use Kage Bunshins?”

Everyone in the room stared as Tsunade became stone for a minute.

Then Tsunade lifted up her desk and threw it out the window.

Naruto and the desk both fell to the ground, Naruto unconscious thanks to a blow to the head.

“Uh… Tsunade-sama-“ Kakashi began after seeing his student on the ground, unconscious, but stopped when he saw the vein throbbing in Tsunade’s head. “Let’s go!” The group left quickly. Iruka grabbed the unconscious Naruto to take her to the hospital.

“So troublesome…” Shikaku and Shikamaru sighed.


	31. Second Glimpse of Akatsuki

“You must be Jiraiya-sama,” giggled a lady behind a fan. “Who are you?”

“His student,” Naruto answered honestly.

“Oh. So, Jiraiya-sama, your books are a wicked inspiration to the world,” said the same fan-lady. Jiraiya smiled and oozed smugness and charm.

“Ladies, you are in the presence of the legendary Sannin Jiraiya! Anything I do is an inspiration to this world,” Jiraiya boasted.

“The Daimyo had some business, ma’am,” another fan-lady said, but she looked a little worried.

Naruto looked at her sharply. “Are you alright?”

The lady blinked.

“Miss, there’s a monster in this city. That’s one of the reasons the Daimyo had to go to the meeting. It’s attacking the city.” The fan lady was looking _terrified._

Her chakra matched her feelings.

“Oh?” Naruto asked. “What does this monster do?”

The fan lady closed her fan, then snapped it open.

“It’s been killing the upper members of the lords,” she said in a hushed whisper. “Can you help?”

“Why ask me and not Jiraiya?” Naruto questioned.

“Jiraiya-sama is busy. I was hired as a bodyguard for the Daimyo from my own Daimyo’s court,” came the answer. “I’m from Kaze no Kuni. Our Daimyo has a unique relationship with this Daimyo. Please.”

“Are you a ninja?” Naruto asked.

A hesitant nod.

“Oi, Jiraiya! I’m going to go to the restroom,” Naruto called over to Jiraiya, who waved her away. Naruto looked at the ninja lady. “Would you be a kind lady and show me to the bathroom?”

The ninja lady nodded, and the two left.

The ninja lady dispelled the _henge…_ and Naruto _stared._ Sabaku no Temari gave her an apologetic look.

“Sorry for all the chakra misleadings,” Temari shrugged. Naruto was on guard. “But seriously, there’s a guy terrorizing the Daimyo court. Not quite sure _who_ it is. Everything was pretty much the truth.”

“Who else is on your team?” Naruto asked. She tensed as she felt two other familiar chakra signatures unmask themselves from a few civilians before they were back in the sea of civilian chakra sources.

She could barely keep track of them, even with her natural sensing abilities.

“Oh. Okay,” Naruto shrugged. “Are we meeting up with them?”

“Hai. We should hurry. You need to _henge_ into someone,” Temari said, putting her _henge_ back up. Naruto copied her, using her transformation to look like a sensational black-haired beauty with a real fan in her hands.

Temari whistled. “It looks like a real transformation!”

Naruto hid her face behind the fan. “I am actually in full transformation. This is my _henge_. Let’s go.”

Temari nodded. “Sure.” Naruto followed the Suna nin outside the palace. Naruto and Temari walked to the stand that Kankuro and Gaara were in.

“Who’s she?” Kankuro asked. Naruto blinked.

“Is he an imposter?” Naruto asked her.

Temari snorted. “No, he just doesn’t have his ‘war paint’ on.”

“War paint?” Naruto said blankly. “I thought it was clown makeup…”

“Wait, Temari-don’t tell me-“ began Kankuro, but Naruto dispelled her _henge_ and yawned, stretching out her muscles.

“Hey, Gaara, how’s the damn tanuki?”

“Less noisy,” Gaara replied blandly. “How’s that baka kitsune?”

“ _Bugging_ me,” Naruto said before snorting, Gaara cracking a smile before everyone got serious. “Okay, what does this guy look like?”

Temari, Gaara, and Kankuro shifted.

“We don’t know,” another voice answered. Naruto had a kunai out and ready to strike as the ninja made himself known. “My name is Baki. I am their jounin instructor.”

“How were you able to evade my-“ Naruto paused. Temari, Kankuro, and Gaara tensed. “You have no chakra signature. So, you’re either dead or you’re not really Baki.”

The man grinned, Temari tensed and also got out a few shuriken blades, Gaara’s sand rising, and chakra strings sprouting from his fingers.

“Oh? So you’re smart~” he said in a sing-song tone. The transformation melted, rearranging the features to create one half of the plant-man.

“Zetsu…” Naruto recalled. “That’s what you’re called, right?” she clarified at the creature tilted its head at her in a sickening way.

“Oh, she’s smart~!” he exclaimed, then he laughed. “The jinchuuriki is perceptive-“

Naruto gripped the thing’s neck and glared at him.

 _“Say that word in front of me again, and there is no hell I will not enter to be rid of you,”_ she snarled.

She then released him.

“Why are you here?”

“None of your business, girl~” the plant-man chuckled. “See you soon!”

He sank into the ground.

Naruto felt chakra approaching. The door opened to see a man that looked like the man that Zetsu had been impersonating.

“Who are you?” Naruto growled, even though she already knew.

The man looked at Naruto, did a double-take, and then looked at the others.

“Why would you invite _her_ here?” he growled.

“Okay, you’re you,” Naruto rolled her eyes. “I was invited, Baka Instructor, because my sensei was invited here. He was also invited here because the Fire Daimyo is apparently a massive pervert.”

Naruto tilted her head as the man began talking. There was a disruption going on…

“Hey, Temari, was it?” Temari nodded. “Did this person that was killing the higher lords kill anyone else?”

“Yes,” Temari answered, frowning. “He killed the civilians around him, but the lords were all people who had bounties on their heads…” Temari trailed off.

“And who in the land would have a bigger price than the Daimyo?” Naruto finished.

“The Hokage,” Kankuro said.

Gaara, Baki (as Naruto assumed his name was), and Temari all looked at him with ‘seriously?’ faces.

“I know for a fact that the Hokage is not here right now. This means that there is another Daimyo out there with enough gold in his or her coffers to pay off whoever killed the Fire Daimyo. The Fire Daimyo pissed off someone big, and these guys are here to kill him,” finished Naruto grimly.

“So…” Naruto used a _shunshin_ and headed to where dozens of chakra signatures were being snuffed out.

Naruto took stock of the situation. A guy with a black cloak with red-

Oh you _had_ to be _fucking kidding._

A child wailed.

“SHUT UP!” The man yelled at the baby, swinging his scythe.

In a millisecond, Naruto’s eyes catalogued the situation and the baby, who was about to die.

A _shunshin_ would be too slow. Naruto did the only thing she could: she mentally placed a tag and moved faster than ever, using her _hiraishin_ in conjunction with her _shunshin_ , doing the same thing for this child that Iruka had done for her: she shielded the child with her own body, facing the child. The scythe impaled her back. Red, malicious chakra exploded from Naruto as she turned red, Kyuubified eyes to glare at the man. She could feel the depletion in her chakra systems-she’d think on what she’d done later with her _hiraishin_ and _shunshin._

The child had stopped crying, and his green eyes gazed up at Naruto with a sense of wonderment.

“How… _dare_ … you,” Naruto said slowly, standing up. The man removed the scythe. Naruto’s hand flashed, making a clone, which gathered the little boy up and carried him away to relative safety, “try to kill a _child._ ”

“Jashin-sama wants sacrifices,” the man grinned. “You’re the jinchuuriki girl, aren’t you?”

Naruto grinned. She felt her ninken standing at the edge and she growled low enough for them to understand to come to her side, but stay out of danger.

“I am, which means you and your Akatsuki friends can’t kill me-if you do, you kill the Kyuubi.” A triumphant grin came onto her face, and she threw her hands out.

Bugs swarmed towards the man, distracting him enough so that Naruto was able to get his scythe away from him.

“Heavy,” Naruto said, pouting. “A bit _too_ heavy. Totally not for me.”

_Kurama, can we break this scythe?_

**I don’t know. I’ve never heard of this ‘Jashin-sama’ before.**

Naruto tried to break it, but it didn’t even bend.

 _Oh, well…_ Naruto quickly opened a scroll and sealed it into it, thinking of having smiths look it over.

She shoved it back into her pack and summoned her bugs back to her.

“Where’s my scythe?!” he sounded angry.

Naruto took out a fake scroll and tauntingly waved it. It held nothing but a single bouncy ball with a ‘fooled you’ note that had a head drawn sloppily under it with x’s for eyes, no nose, and a tongue sticking out of it. It was also one of Naruto’s personal sealing scrolls that she could unseal from a distance. Once unsealed, it would blow up ten minutes after being opened.

“Want it?” Naruto teased.

The man’s eyes flashed with anger.

“GIVE IT BACK, YOU-“

“Language~” Naruto sang. The man lunged for it.

Naruto cocked her arm back and threw it. Then, she summoned chakra and called, “Fuuton: Great Breakthrough!” She slapped the air with her palms. Powerful wind slammed into the scroll and the silver-haired man, along with a ninja who had just appeared.

Naruto waited until they were gone to smirk at their idiocy.

 _They’re going to be_ so _pissed when they realize I stole his weapon…_

**I think they will try to kill you.**

_By the time they catch up to me again, I’ll probably be powerful enough to beat them. Right now, I need to see what makes the scythe unbreakable._

“Mister?”

An irk mark appeared and she yelled, “FOR THE LOVE OF KAMI I AM A _GIRL-_ Oh, Daimyo-sama, I had no idea that you said that…” Naruto bowed formally.

“Why did you kill all these people?” the Daimyo asked.

Naruto tilted her head. “I didn’t. There were these guys in black cloaks with red clouds killing them. I saved a kid- oi, clone-me! Bring the kid!”

Naruto’s clone appeared and hit the original Naruto with an irk mark on her face.

“I’M STILL YOU, STUPID MEANIE!”

“STOP ARGUING WITH ME AND GIVE THE DAIMYO THE CHILD!” Naruto screamed back.

The baby giggled.

“That’s…” the Daimyo’s eyes widened. “That’s my son!”

Naruto and Clone-Naruto both tilted their heads in utter confusion.

The kid bore no resemblance to the Daimyo…

“He is?” Naruto asked. “I had no clue.” She brought a hand up to the kid’s face and wiggled her fingers in front of his face.

“We’re awesome with kids,” Naruto-clone said.

“Red! Red!” the baby called out. “Turn red!”

Naruto blinked. _Kurama?_

 **It seems my chakra settles the child,** an amused-sounding Kurama replied. **Use some.** Naruto could feel his chakra enter her system and she knew she looked different to everyone around her.

“Yeah! Yeah!” the baby smiled. _He’s a genius. He can talk._

**Yeah, it’s kind of strange… by the way, you still haven’t felt the hole in your back yet?**

_Oh… no._ Naruto felt it. Her back throbbed in synch with her heart.

She looked at the Daimyo and beamed. “He’s so kawaii!”

“Yeah, I was lying, to see if you really had saved the kid because he was my son. He’s not my kid,” the Daimyo admitted. “He’s an orphan now and will have to go to the orphanage-“

“You’re crazy!” Clone-Naruto cried. “I can’t take all the orphans in the world… but I’ll blood adopt him!”

“Bunshin-me… you’ll pop as soon as you prick your finger,” Naruto said with a raised eyebrow.

“I know! I’ll go to Konoha and give it to you!” Bunshin-Naruto lit up like a Christmas tree.

“Bunshin-me, that’s… not a bad idea, actually,” confessed the real Naruto. “I mean, if you don’t mind, Daimyo-sama.”

“Of course not!” the Daimyo proclaimed. “Take the child and raise it if you want.”

Naruto sweatdropped. _Maybe he pissed off the powerful person because that’s just how he is…_ Naruto thought to Kurama.

 **Yeah… he’s dumb,** the giant fox agreed. **Giving a kid to another kid… I bet Haku would be pleased to have an heir, though, and you’ll probably blood-adopt everyone in that house as Uzumakis anyway.**

_Kurama, you’re freaking brilliant!_

“Bunshin-me,” Naruto murmured, huddling over the bundle, “take the kid to Konoha and ask Yuki if he wants to blood-adopt.”

“But that means he’ll get the Hyoton,” Bunshin-Naruto breathed.

“Just shut up and do it,” hissed Naruto, who brought her hands up and wiggled her fingers in the kid’s face.

“Yes, Naruto-sama,” replied the bunshin, who smiled and said, “I’m off now!”

“See ya!” the Daimyo called with Naruto, before a golden flash was seen and Naruto bent space and time to appear in Konoha three seconds later.

 ~:~

“OH MY KAMI, I DIDN’T WANT TO SEE THAT!” Ketsueki Naruto sat up and was on the floor running to Zabuza and Haku’s room.

A bunshin of Naruto was standing there, looking horrified.

“Not like you haven’t seen it before,” Ketsueki Naruto said.

“THINK OF THE BABY!” Bunshin Naruto said, holding what indeed looked like a baby. “Oh, Naruto-the-original-“

“I’m calling myself Naruko,” Ketsueki Naruto-or Naruko-said, cutting the bunshin off. “At least, I will until Naruto merges with me or I die, so…” Naruko shrugged. “Now, what did Naruto want?”

“Well, she wanted to ask Haku if he wants to blood-adopt the kid. He’ll most likely receive the Hyoton, but she still wanted to ask. That’s the only reason I’m here.” Bunshin Naruto shrugged.

“Sure, but later,” Haku said impatiently. “Now can you _please_ leave the room?”

Naruko created another bunshin, who took the kid, and the other bunshin popped.

Naruko and Bunshin-Naruko left the room, shaking their heads.


	32. Parting Ways

 

“So… we’re banned from the city for two years,” Naruto shrugged. “I’d say those two years will be rather refreshing.” Violet and Shisui coughed out something that sounded like they were laughing.

Jiraiya, however, just pouted. Baki, Temari, Gaara, and Kankuro all shook their heads.

“Which reminds me!” Naruto took out a seal and activated it.

~:~

SOMEWHERE FAR, FAR AWAY

Kakuzu and Hidan stared at the bouncy ball and the note in utter disbelief.

“You’ve got to be kidding,” Kakuzu finally said.

Hidan was just  _ speechless _ with rage.

“I’LL KILL THAT LITTLE-!”

~:~

Naruto sneezed.  _ Yep, they’re probably talking about me.  _ “Anyway, we should part ways. See ya!” Naruto waved at them as Jiraiya pulled her away from the Sand-nin.

“Tsunade sent a C-Rank she thought you’d like to do,” Jiraiya informed her after they had ran for a few minutes. “It’s protecting the lady that plays Princess Gale in those expensive movies.”

Naruto winced. The last time she’d been in a movie theater she’d been kicked out because her chakra kept making it fizz.

“I wouldn’t know, my chakra keeps making the electricity there mess up.” Naruto shrugged. “They kicked me out. But do you watch them?”

Jiraiya shifted. “No.” He avoided her face.

Naruto rolled her eyes. “I can tell when you’re lying, -ttebayo. Anyway, why does the lady need protecting?”

“According to her supervisors, she keeps running away,” he said. “They’re headed to Yuki no Kuni because the film company wants to shoot some scenes there. Think you should do it?”

Naruto thought for a second. “Will you be coming with?”

Jiraiya shook his head. “I can’t. I have to connect with some contacts on Orochimaru’s movements. But I will leave you some money!” He dug out a bag of it. “This is for Ramen.” He dug out some more. “This is for other food and drink.”

Naruto smiled. “Arigatou! Should I leave now?” She took the money bags.

Jiraiya nodded. “See you in a few weeks.” He handed her a scroll. Naruto pushed forward, and soon Jiraiya was out of her chakra-sensing range.


	33. New Mission

Two days later, Naruto entered the city with Violet and Shisui. Getting directions, she used her skills to get to the studio. The lady that played 'Princess Gale' looked unbelievably cold. Everyone but her was conversing, but that all stopped when Naruto made her presence known.

"Yo!" she greeted, falling from the ceiling, her ninken following. All three landed perfectly on their feet, and Naruto handed the old man in the large chair a mission scroll. "The Hokage sent me this. She thought I was perfect for a babysitting job." Naruto's light tone seemed to set them at ease.

"You're a ninja?" one of the men asked, looking disbelieving. "I can't believe a kid is supposed to keep Yukie safe."

"Hold on!" said one of the men. "That's the boy who was in the Chuunin Exams!"

"Chuunin Exams? What about them?" one of the other men frowned.

"He fought with a man named Orochimaru of the Sannin. Didn't he bite you and you fell unconscious?" asked the second man.

"It was a type of rather lethal bite, as it caused all sorts of damage to my mind," Naruto smiled. "But I'm as good as new!" She let her smile grow. "I'm still a genin, though, I'm a student of Jiraiya. The Toad Sage."

****And a super-pervert.****  Kurama grinned.  ** **Which you secretly like, as it gives you new ideas for your work.****

__Yeah, let's not tell him that,__  Naruto replied with a mental shiver.  _ _He was shocked enough to find that I was a girl.__

She smiled and bowed again, then started to walk over to Yukie.

"Also…" her smile turned to Haku's rather creepy smile, "I'm a  _ _girl.__ "

Everyone in the room stared at her, jaws touching the floor.

She walked over to Yukie and assumed a position around her with clones.

"Is this really necessary?" Yukie exhaled with a sigh. "I won't run again."

"Nope," Naruto agreed. "You won't. I have clones everywhere in the city. Fujikaze Yukie, I have been hired to be your bodyguard and escort. I do not fail missions."

Well, most missions. The one with Tora was another story; Naruto liked running after the cat.

Naruto kept standing. Her clones would alert her if the need arose.

~:~

For two more days, nothing of real importance happened. Everyone was on the boat when Yukie started to panic.

"I can't!" Yukie insisted. "I can't go to Yuki no Kuni-what are you doing?!"

Naruto picked her up and set her down on the boat. "Shut up," she informed the princess. "Stop whining. You want to become a cold-hearted woman? I can see in your eyes that you think you have nothing left to live for. You're guarded, and I know how it feels to think everyone's against you. Everyone in my village, ninja or not, was against me at one point. These guys are trying to be friends with you, but you keep pushing them away." Naruto sighed. "I'm kind of jealous." Naruto held out a hand to her.

Yukie slapped it away. "Don't touch me," she snapped, glaring at Naruto as the boat moved.

Naruto's teeth gritted together.

__Was I like this when I was younger?__  She asked Kurama.  _ _If so, I will give you free reign over my body so you can slap the crap out of her.__

****No, you were rather stubborn. Forcing others to be your friends.****  Kurama sounded thoughtful.

"You're nothing but a killer-for-hire! Don't give me that crap about friends!"

Naruto stared at her.

"Actually, I haven't killed anyone, so you're kind of wrong. Plus, the only people shinobi in my village kill are enemy shinobi and people who have broken the law. We're the nicest of the major elemental countries for a reason," Naruto replied with a smirk. "And the job for killing people? Meh, that's for people in the ANBU, the assassination group. Just for your information, I'm still a  _ _genin,__ the lowest rank possible for a shinobi." She looked at Yukie. "Don't ever suggest that again, lady. That's  _ _rude.__ " Naruto puffed her cheeks out and pouted a little.

Then she felt a shift in chakra and looked around discreetly.

One of the directors didn't meet her eyes.

"So," Naruto said with a grin, "since I successfully distracted her so long that the harbor is gone, does someone wanna show me around this boat?"

The director that didn't meet her eyes nodded. "I'll do it," he volunteered.

Naruto smiled. "Thanks!" she chirped, skipping behind him.

As soon as they were out of sight, she stopped.

"What aren't you telling me about this job?" she asked him curtly.

He blinked. "How did you-"

"I can tell when you're lying. Standard Academy practice," Naruto replied sharply. That, and as a brothel-worker, she did have to know who was in the mood for what kind of activity they were up for. "Now, tell me."

The man sighed. "Her name is actually Kazahana Koyuki."

Naruto's eyes widened. Naruto had seen that name before, in reference to something that had happened ten years before, two years after the Kyuubi attack. Since the majority of shinobi that went out to fight the Kyuubi had died, they hadn't been able to help Yuki no Kuni.

The report had been done by an ANBU who had quit shortly after that mission-Suzume, if Naruto recalled the name correctly. Naruto had been in trouble when she was about nine, and the Hokage had to leave to settle the ANBU down. Naruto had been interested in the report and had snuck a look at it, her curious nature driving her to look at it.

She'd read the parts she could, but gathered that Suzume had been hired to look for a missing person named Kazahana Koyuki by someone called Kazahana Dotou. Naruto hadn't read any more than that, because she had heard the Hokage enter and had to hurry to her seat.

"I know that name-the Hokage had a request that requested for him to look for her. Kazahana Dotou."

The man's face turned ashy. "And what was found?"

"No idea, it was in an ANBU report I wasn't supposed to read. Hold on." She bit her thumb. "Kuchiyose: Hikigaeru!" A toad appeared as Naruto took a scroll and wrote to Tsunade. "Look, I'm sorry for summoning you here, but can you take this to Tsunade in Konohagakure?"

"My name's Kosuke, and I can," the toad replied. "Bye!" The toad vanished.

"What did you ask?" the man asked Naruto.

"I asked for the last few ANBU reports of Suzume," Naruto replied. Noting his look, Naruto waved his concern away. "I've heard about SS-Rank missions where I work. Tsunade-sama knows."


	34. Some More Questions

KONOHA, HOKAGE TOWER

Tsunade was filling out papers when a toad appeared and dropped off a scroll.

Tsunade opened it.

"Kuma, get me the old Suzume's reports, most specifically ones pertaining to any man named Kazahana Dotou," ordered Tsunade. The ANBU with the bear mask in the office vanished. About five minutes, Kuma appeared and handed her a report.

"Here, give this to her," Tsunade instructed.

~:~

Naruto was eating dinner when a poof of smoke filled the place where she was sitting.

When the smoke vanished, her ninken didn't move, because there was a  _ _toad__  in her food.

In her  _ _ramen.__

"Kosuke…" her eyes were shadowed, and everyone froze when they felt the Killing Intent. " _ _You better have an explanation for defiling the bowl of ramen, or I will hurt you."__

It was said in a dark tone.

The toad seemed unaffected, holding out a scroll.

"Here ya go. And next time, use Gamakichi or Gamatatsu." The toad poofed away.

Naruto smiled as she opened the scroll, then her eyes widened in shock.

She dashed out, her ninken following her with their eyes.

 **"** ** **Never get between Naruto and her ramen,"****  advised the vixen, shivering delicately. She and the dog left, the dog hopping on the vixen's back, its legs too short to properly walk.

~:~

 _ _Kazahana Koyuki: Princess of Yuki no Kuni, daughter of the former Daiymo of Yuki no Kuni Kazahana Sousetsu__.  _ _Presumed dead after a coup led by current Daimyo Kazahana Dotou.__

__Mission: Find and return Kazahana Koyuki at the request of Kazahana Dotou._ _

__Rank: S._ _

__End: Failed._ _

Naruto frowned. The barest of details on this mission. Naruto unrolled the scroll more to see a note.

__Note: A higher-paying executive has asked Suzume to fail this mission. This mission is counted as a fail, and will require Suzume to exit ANBU._ _

__Further inquiry into the matter of Kazahana Koyuki is to be taken up with Inu._ _

Naruto nodded.

So someone had paid the Hokage to make this mission a fail. Koyuki was alive because of  _ _Inu.__ Who was Inu at that particular time? Why was Dotou after his niece?

Naruto glanced up as Koyuki entered their shared quarters. Koyuki set a glittering crystal necklace down.

****Naruto, that necklace has weird chakra. Could be the reason Dotou wants her.** **

Naruto smiled, but it vanished as Koyuki turned to look at her.

"I have to finish this scroll," she told Koyuki in a clipped tone.

Koyuki shrugged and settled in bed.

Naruto threw sleeping powder and held her breath as she waited the appropriate five minutes. Violet and Shisui had remained out of the way of the powder, out of the room.

Five minutes passed. Naruto created a clone, made it turn into the necklace, and hid the necklace in her shirt.

Naruto settled in for the night.


	35. More Than What The Book Says

A jolt made Naruto wake up quickly. Recalling the previous night and what she'd done, she tried not to feel guilty as Koyuki took the fake necklace from the table.

"What's going on?" a frightened voice yelled. A new rush of memories hit Naruto.

"We're being attacked," Naruto said, outwardly calm. She darted out and she scowled as she saw her ninken unconscious. Harming her ninken was the  _only_  thing (well, other than spoiling her ramen) that made Naruto angry.

Naruto's hair shadowed her eyes, which were now red. Her whisker marks darkened, taking on a ragged look.

"HOW DARE YOU HURT MY NINKEN!" She screamed. A wave of chakra exited her as she slapped the air.

_Fuuton: Great Breakthrough!_ She thought angrily.

A visible ripple in the air was all that was seen, blowing snow away from her in a huge wave.

Naruto used her chakra and leapt up, stepping onto the ground of the snowy hill.

Three people stood there.

"You are Hatake Kakashi's student, if I am correct," said the middle guy.

"What has my sensei have to do with this?" Naruto demanded sharply. These guys had Iwa headbands on, but they used Suiton jutsu…they were either Iwa nin who specialized in Suiton jutsu-which was probable-or they were fakes.

Also probable.

"I hold a particular grudge against Kakashi. He rescued the princess-I was almost ready to kill her, but she was rescued. Now I have had to serve this Daimyo at the barest minimum of pay." Fury laced the man's words.

Naruto felt disgust at this man's apparent lack of concern to what the current Daimyo of Yuki no Kuni wanted with Yukie. Or Koyuki. Whichever pseudonym she wanted to be known by.

"Whatever beef you have with Kakashi is ancient history," Naruto hissed. "I prefer to maim, not kill. But you did something that is unforgivable." A red bubbly cloak started to form around Naruto. "You harmed my ninken…and for that, I will  _kill you."_  A kunai was soon in her hand, and she was faster than even Shunshin no Shisui.

She felt Kurama's rage mingle with her own and amplify it. She stabbed at the man, but he was quick and their kunai gritted against each other. His smirk made her rage ratchet higher.

"Get the Princess!"

"Oh, no you don't!" Naruto slammed her hands down after blurring through signs. Wood sprouted from her hands, shielding the ship from any attack. "To get to them, you'll have to get through me!" Naruto shouted above the snowstorm.

"Gladly!"

~:~

Nadare Rouga smirked as their kunai gritted against each other, the child's red eyes boring into his own.

"Get the Princess!" he ordered his lackeys.

"Oh, no you don't!" the Uzumaki growled, leaping backwards and blurring through handsigns. She slammed her hand on the ground, and wood sprouted around the ship. Rouga frowned angrily. "To get to them, you'll have to get through me!" the child yelled.

"Gladly!" Rouga retorted, flipping through handsigns. Slamming his hands on the ground, an ice dragon appeared.

Uzumaki flipped through handsigns a bit slower, then put two fingers next to her mouth, exhaling a giant fireball.

Rouga smirked. This child, no matter how many jutsus or how much chakra she had, was still a  _genin_  with little to no experience in the world.

The ice dragon melted. Rouga gestured for his lackeys to go and fight her-and they did.

"Tajuu Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!" Dozens of Uzumaki copies appeared.

Rouga frowned. Perhaps he'd underestimated the Uzumaki girl.

No-he smirked as he looked at the original, whose reaction time was delayed because of the clones popping. She was mingling, sure, but Rouga smirked and appeared before her.

A second passed, and Uzumaki just barely evaded the kunai.

"You have talent…but I'm afraid you're still a genin, and we're  _jounin_  of Iwagakure." Rouga smirked as the girl summoned another wave of clones, one which sprinted to the ship.

He didn't care about that. Not when he had an eye on the real one.

"I can beat you," Uzumaki said, holding up a kunai. "I cannot afford to fail in my mission. Nor you yours." She then exhaled another fireball that missed the man by inches, exploding on the waves and creating a wall of steam, shrouding the boat.

"Interesting. You know this, and yet you're going to die." Rouga smirked. He'd sent this girl back to Sharingan no Kakashi in a box. In pieces.

"I can't die," Uzumaki growled. "Not literally, of course, I  _can_  die…but you'll never get close enough to kill me."

Rouga paused at that. He heard Uzumaki Naruto was already infamous for her almost endless reserve of Kage Bunshin. He never failed to keep up to date with the latest Bingo Book possible enemies. She was in there-however, it wasn't because she was S-Class. No, it was because it was a warning. Just like Sharingan no Kakashi had been in there before the Battle of Kannabi Bridge because of his teacher, the Yellow Flash, along with his sibling disciples Nohara Rin and Uchiha Obito. However, Kakashi's team was killed, two in the final days during the last Shinobi World War and his teacher against a Bijuu.

Uzumaki Naruto was in the Bingo Book listed as Sharingan no Kakashi's student, along with a pinkette who had been listed as 'little to no shinobi skill and probably easily killed'.

"Possible," Rouga settled on saying. "You would be a great asset to Konoha, but I'm afraid I'll be unable to let you live."

He dashed forward, a speed that rivalled the  _shunshin._  He found himself face-to-face with the monster inside the girl. His eyes narrowed.

"Are you a monster?"

Anger flashed through those red eyes.

Rouga was shoved backwards.

Locating his lackeys, he tugged them out of the fight.

"It's no use. She was stalling us so that they could get away," he said. The steam wafted away, and there she stood, still standing, looking like she had little to no intention of giving up. "We retreat. I will personally report our failure to grab the girl to Dotou."

"Why do you want her?" Uzumaki demanded. "She's no longer in line for the Daiymo. Why is Dotou so interested in her?"

Rouga considered not telling her. However, she was an opponent he felt worthy enough to be able to fight. So he told her.

"She has something, an item that unlocks a treasure. Dotou-sama wants it. Then he will execute the princess, crushing any thoughts of rebellion."

Uzumaki nodded. "I see. Thank you for the information."

"Will you allow us to complete the mission?"

"No." Uzumaki shook her head. "Killing her would be detrimental to my mission." If her flat tone was any indication, she didn't care about winning or failing.

However, Rouga had encountered several ninja from Konoha. Any time they clashed, their urgency to complete the mission was above everything but their comrades.

Such a reason was why Konoha was considered  _weak._  Their ideals were  _wrong._  The strongest were the ones with the most kills.

"Very well," Rouga nodded. "Next time we meet, I will end your existence."

Uzumaki bared her teeth. "I look forward to you trying it," she responded, before she was gone, a few snowflakes drifting down from where she stood.

She'd replaced herself with  _snowflakes._

Perhaps Uzumaki was a more dangerous opponent than the Bingo Book suggested.


	36. Tattletale Naruko

The bunshin of Naruto that fled tapped her leg lightly as she worried over the fate of her original.

"Relax, I'm sure she's fine," Michy said with a small smile. Naruto frowned.

"It shouldn't take this long for her to come back."  _Never mind the fact that we're fighting against a jounin, and Jiraiya specifically said to keep my_ Hiraishin _a secret after the whole debacle of getting banned from the Daimyo Court for two years. I can't use too many jutsu, or else I'll end up in the Bingo Book and be targeted, and I'm already a target because of the Chuunin Exams._  Naruto worried her lip.

Then a small flare of chakra made Naruto-the-clone jolt up and overturn the chair she was sitting on. Several snowflakes were displaced and Naruto-the-original stood there.

Naruto-the-original stumbled, and Kurama's voice sounded in their heads.

**Naruto, you can't keep using my chakra like that. It's putting a serious toll on your body.**  Kurama sounded genuinely worried.

_But we've never had this issue before!_

**You never get that angry-or, you don't let it leak out, usually.**  Kurama was right.

"Real-me, are you all right?" Naruto-bunshin bit her lip.

"I can't believe that my clones are worried for me," Naruto replied with a breathless laugh. "Yeah, fine, just in a little pain from using too much of  _his_  chakra, -ttebayo."

Naruto coughed a little. Thankfully, no blood came out.

Koyuki stepped up. "I apologize for what I said earlier. Thank you for stopping those men."

Real-Naruto turned to Koyuki. "He's after the necklace, lady. Oh, and your life."

There was a pause. "Huh?" Everyone apart from the mission-asker and the princess asked with shock.

"I'm done pretending I don't know. Your secret has just upgraded this to an A-Rank, at the  _very least._  Three jounin just tried to kill me to get to you…Kazahana Koyuki-sama." Real-Naruto tilted her head at the older princess. "I have every right to quit this mission. However I won't."

"What?" Koyuki asked.

Bunshin-Naruto knew what Naruto was thinking.

"It isn't logical for a country that could, in one way or another, possibly benefit Konoha." Her words made Koyuki's eyes widen. Bunshin-Naruto then shrugged and abandoned logic. "Plus, I have experience of liberating a country. Remember Wave, me?"

Real-Naruto chuckled. "We got a bridge named after us."

_The Great Naruto Bridge._

"Yeah, that was fun." Both Narutos shared matching mischievous grins. Literally.

"In other words, you'll do it because you feel like it?" asked Michy.

Both Narutos tilted their heads. "Yeah," Naruto said as one.

Then the bunshin-Naruto hugged Naruto.

"I'll see you later," the bunshin said. "Thanks for not abusing us clones, -ttebayo. We're you, so we know what you desire."

She smiled. The she dispelled herself, adding her feelings to Naruto, and adding her memories to the collection of bunshin-memories inside Naruto's mind.

~:~

Naruto smiled a little bit. Her clones really were awesome.

She frowned a little. She was going to be liberating a country by herself with nothing but a handful of jutsus. She was certain this Daimyo had jutsus of his own, in case his guards failed, but that armor…

Naruto gasped. She hadn't made a  _scratch_  on that armor.

She shoved that in the back of her mind and turned to Koyuki.

"Koyuki-hime, do you have a smithy and a library in your country?"

Koyuki blinked. "Yes, I have both."

"Good, I might need them later on. That way, I won't tell Tsunade-sama of it becoming an A-Rank." She shuddered to think what Tsunade would do if she found out she was on an A-Rank without any backup.

~:~

"Hey, Baa-san! Can I talk to you?"

Tsunade looked up to see one of her four students. Naruko stood there, looking hesitant.

"Come in." Tsunade had been using Kage Bunshin, but today Shizune had bribed her with a special kind of sake to actually be signing papers physically. "What's wrong?"

"Promise you won't kill Jiraiya?" pleaded the copy of her granddaughter.

"Promise," Tsunade said, crossing her toes.

"Well…you know that mission to Yuki no Kuni I'm currently on? Well, instead of it being just an escort/bodyguard mission with Jiraiya, it's turned into an A-Rank, as three jounin are trying to hand over the princess to Kazahana Dotou and I fought all three of them."

Tsunade sighed. "Tell your other half she better get Jiraiya to help her."

Naruko winced. Tsunade knew something was wrong.

"Er…that's one of the reasons I'm telling you…one would be Kyuu told me to tell you…" Naruto chuckled nervously.

"And the other?" Tsunade let her bangs shadow her eyes.

"Well…Jiraiya's…not there?" squeaked the Ketsueki clone.

"WHAT?!"


	37. Maintaining Sanity? Nope

SOMEWHERE IN A BAR, WAITING FOR HIS CONTACT

Jiraiya felt an ominous shudder down his spine. Either Naruto or her clone…

Jiraiya gulped as a toad popped out.

"Katsuyu told me to give this to you," Kosuke informed Jiraiya, who paled.

He shakily opened the note, and he went chalky.

_JIRAIYA, NOTE THAT IF YOU RETURN MY GRANDDAUGHTER TO ME IN A BOX, I WILL PERSONALLY-AND QUITE HAPPILY-PUNCH YOU SO HARD THAT YOU'LL BE OUT OF THE ELEMENTAL COUNTRIES AND WILL NEVER FIND YOUR WAY BACK. AM I CLEAR?!_

Jiraiya swallowed.

He could imagine her doing that, too.

~:~

The ship made port the next day. Naruto did not doubt that the shinobi were already in the country.

"So where are we headed?" she asked Makino, the oldest on the crew.

"We're headed up a mountain!" he announced grandly. "I've heard that this country has something called a railway."

"It hasn't been in use for ages," Koyuki muttered. "The path is too icy."

"That's not what I heard!" Makino replied, wagging his finger. "And we're going to get the entire rebellion on tape!"

"That's probably a bad idea," Naruto replied bluntly. "There will be death. A  _lot_  of death. People are willing to die for a princess who seems a few cards short of a full deck."

"And you're a full deck?" Michy asked with a raised brow.

"Shinobi in Konoha maintain a healthy level of insanity," Naruto answered with a flirty grin. "We're technically adults when we get a registration number."

"What kind of mission are shinobi hired for?" Michy seemed  _very_  interested.

Naruto just grinned before turning away.


	38. Troublesome Theory

Sarutobi Asuma was treating his students to lunch when something happened. Naruto-who apparently wanted to be called  _Naruko-_ appeared.

"Shikamaru! Can I talk with you?" Naruko smiled at Shikamaru, but it didn't ease the nervousness she felt.

"Troublesome," Shikamaru simply said, slouching a little. "Yeah, sure. What's up?"

Naruko glanced at the table of the barbeque that Asuma had taken his team. Said man glanced at Naruko with a questioning eyebrow. Looking at Ino and Chouji, Naruko seemed to come to a decision. "Not here," she told him. "I can't talk here." Her uneasy glance at Ino, Chouji, and Asuma piqued their curiosity.

"Sure, then," Shikamaru got up and they went to a different booth in full sight of Shikamaru's team.

However, even with the ability to read lips that Asuma had, he didn't catch what Naruko was saying. It didn't help that he and Naruto were on the same side of their booths.

Shikamaru looked a little shocked, but then he seemed to get over it.

Asuma caught what Shikamaru said.

_It's your life. Plus, if it helps shinobi, I don't see why you had to ask my permission, other than the slightly weird aspect about it._

Naruko seemed shocked, and she seemed to voice it.

_Look, you do it with your bunshins, and I won't give a damn, okay?_ He said to her with an amused smirk.  _At least, I won't when we're eighteen._

Naruko just seemed to sigh and give up.

Shikamaru and Naruko stood up, hugged, and parted ways.

Shikamaru slouched back to the table.

"What was that about?" Ino asked, biting into her meat.

"Naruto wanted to speak with me about her job. Can't tell you what it is, sorry," Shikamaru yawned.

"Are you two dating?" Chouji asked.

Asuma smirked.

"No," Shikamaru said. "We're married."

Ino choked on her barbeque and Chouji dropped his piece of meat.

"What?" Ino gasped.

"Yeah, it's troublesome, but it was a pre-existing contract between our parents." Shikamaru shrugged. "Unavoidable. I think if I died before I became a Chuunin, she would have been married to another prominent clan."

"Any of ours?" Ino asked.

Shikamaru shook his head. "Nor Kiba's team, not Neji's either. The eldest son would've had to marry her."

There was a pause.

"You mean to say…" Chouji said, looking slightly horrified at the thought, she would've had to marry  _Uchiha Itachi?"_

Shikamaru shrugged. "Don't know. Kaa-san told me, though, so I think she's right." He shrugged again. "I've heard Kaa-san talking to Tou-san about how as head Uzumaki, Naruto is subject to the CRA-or, rather, it's her decision who she marries. Additionally, her Inuzuka blood-adoption gave her traits unique to that clan, such as finding the perfect mate. Also, since she's now the last royal Uzumaki, the clans will be desperate to secure a foothold. Any child of hers is liable to be subject to the CRA if it's a boy and if she declines to participate. Speaking of which, her first child is also most probably going to be a full-blooded Uzumaki with hints of Namikaze." Shikamaru ignored the gaping looks he was getting. "But that will only be possible if a male Uzumaki still lives. Which is pretty slim."

Shikamaru leaned back in the booth and thought hard.

_Whoever is playing the game is going to use pawns first,_  he thought.  _The king would be the leader of the opposing side. The King here would be Naruto._

Shikamaru waved goodbye to his team as he walked home, deep in thought.

_I believe the king on the other side is using Orochimaru, if in an indirect way. If Naruto gains more pawns, then the opposing force will also hastily assemble._  Shikamaru entered his home, surprisingly too distracted to mutter a 'Tadaima' to his parents.  _If the King dies, the game ends. The pawns won't matter._  He paused in his bedroom.  _Sooner or later, the pieces will move faster and the game will end; however, if Orochimaru is playing his own game and only being a pawn as long as the King fits to his whims, who is to say Sasuke isn't playing Orochimaru? Despite the fact I've only met Sasuke a handful of times and we've never faced off in shogi, I highly doubt that he isn't smart. Sasuke could be playing Orochimaru and helping the King…oh, this is frustrating._  Shikamaru scowled a bit.  _Naruto always loses her king because she doesn't know how to place her pawns and tries to move the King everywhere. She doesn't understand the need to sacrifice pawns._

"What are you thinking?" Shikamaru threw a kunai. His father moved out of the way. "Nice reflexes. But I shouldn't have been able to startle you."

"Thinking about everything that's happened, with Orochimaru and Sasuke." Shikamaru frowned. "I don't understand Sasuke's motives. He's smart. So is Orochimaru. One thing Sasuke will be predictable with is revenge on Itachi. If Orochimaru wants to kill the Sandaime, why not do it when nobody would notice? Why create a spectacle? If he wanted Sasuke, he could've-" he stopped talking. "He wanted Naruto out of the village."

"How do you figure?" Shikaku asked, frowning.

"If his attempt on the Sandaime's life failed," Shikamaru explained, "Naruto would be the number one threat. Obviously, he knew Naruto's strength. I highly doubt he would have given her the curse mark-according to Naruto he was losing chakra, right? So he knew her strength. He knew that Jiraiya taking Naruto was probably months off! Plus, Sasuke leaving-he  _knew_  all along Naruto had the power to sense chakras! Of course!" Shikamaru turned to his father, who looked lost. Shikamaru told his father. "Naruto couldn't distinguish the difference at first-so she told Orochimaru the truth of the Uchiha massacre! Sasuke was probably listening, which means Orochimaru could twist it into Itachi being a front for the murderer! Orochimaru could've told the mysterious 'king'-"

"You're not really a paranoid kid, son, but I think you're getting-"

"No, listen!" Shikamaru insisted. "Orochimaru could've told the mysterious 'king', and the 'king' could twist it to his or her advantage. The Sandaime has been watched over by ANBU, right?  _What happens when his guard is not there?_  The Sandaime's unconscious because of Orochimaru, although Naruto's parents could've been part of the reason. What if he isn't? The nurse probably insists she be alone with her patient, right?" The Sandaime had collapsed soon after Tsunade had become Kage. It had become clear to them that all of the stress caused by his student trying to kill him plus the job of being Hokage had become too much. He had apparently been in a coma...but what if that was a lie?

Shikaku's alarm flashed over his face.

All of a sudden, an alarm sounded out. This was for all jounin to report to the Hokage's office.

A hawk entered the room.

"Shikamaru, you had better explain your theory to the Hokage, because I think you might be right."


	39. Answers

Naruko stared at Tsunade in paralyzed shock.

"He's…" the word couldn't be choked out. "What do you want me to do, Hokage-sama?"

"Don't tell your original," Tsunade said, looking down. "I have a mission for you. You'll be wearing a  _henge_ , but just in case you will wear the mask. This mission is X-Rank. Only you and I and the other Hokages may hear of this."

Naruko cast a glance at the other four Hokages, all of them gone from this realm, and nodded, taking a deep breath and steadying herself.

"I'm ready."

"Very well. Your mission is to get the truth of the Uchiha Massacre from Shimura Danzou. If it is possible, take control of the man's 'Ne' program. Should you fail, you shall be considered a missing-nin-unless you are not caught. If you must…" Tsunade's eyes blazed with anger. "If you must execute Shimura Danzou for his crimes, Kitsune, you will not be charged with treason. After all…this village does not use the mask of 'Kitsune' for a good reason."

Naruko was now in an ordinary-looking shinobi  _henge._  Naruko put the mask on and took a deep breath.

_I cannot fail._

~"~

Kitsune stared at the papers signifying Shimura Danzou's betrayal. She summoned a crow as discreetly as she could, whispering to it to go back to the summon world with the information.

She then settled herself into Danzou's chair. What she'd seen was undeniable proof; however, she needed closure of her own. Something to do with Shisui and research into the Mangekyou Sharingan.

She waited. It did not take long.

Danzou entered the room, two guards with him.

"I noticed that my seals had been removed." His comment made perfect sense to Kitsune.

"I demand a simple answer, Shimura Danzou. Tell the truth and I won't end your worthless existence. Fail to do so will make you as dead as the Sandaime Hokage." Her voice didn't crack or waver. She realized she was distancing herself from this.

Like she had to.

"What do you want to know?"

"What part did you play in Uchiha Shisui's death?"

His eye opened. He stared at her for a minute.

"You never expected me to ask that, did you? Too bad." Kitsune stood up. She stood like a typical ANBU recruit. No uncertainty. Even a little bit and they'd sniff it out like they were bloodhounds.

She waited for a minute. Then she started walking.

"Tell me the role you played in his death."

"Uchiha Shisui's death was a tragic waste." He was being sincere. "I had no part in it-"

Kitsune's tanto was at his throat.

"You were lying?" she asked pleasantly.

"I had no idea he was dead until the day after I stole this from him." Danzou raised his other hand, and Kitsune stared.

There was a Sharingan eye in his face.

**Look away!**

Kitsune looked at Danzou's other eye.

"Kotoamatsukami. Perfect obedience training." Kitsune's voice was cool. "Is that how you made your 'Ne' group under your control?"

"You won't live too long, so I see no harm in telling you," Danzou replied. "I stole multiple Sharingan from their users. I was one of the people Orochimaru contacted. The Sandaime's death plays a larger role in this-"

"Shut up." Kitsune was in his face. "Listen here, you bastard, the Sandaime was a great man. He was better than you, his teammate! You may have multiple Sharingan, but you are no 'kami'."

"No," he agreed. "I merely work for one."

His eyes widened. Kitsune smiled underneath her mask.

"Good to know." Naruto suddenly vanished, and knew that the 'Ne' people would be looking for her. So she entered the market, stepped into several shops,  _henged_  into people, ducked into an illegal rave, and danced the rest of the night away. She was sort of surprised the ANBU let the civilians get away with this kind of stuff, to be honest.

Leaving with several civilians, she pretended to be drunk, but she just swaggered into her workplace and changed  _henges._

With a sigh, the newly  _henged_  Tenshi went to work.


	40. Uzumaki and Senju Luck

Naruto, during this time, was having quite the adventure-sitting around simply  _watching_  Koyuki.

Well, until she was snapped out of her reverie by Kurama.

**Naruto, you can't use my tailed chakra forms. They're damaging your organs.**

_So?_

**Using my chakra will make your organs irreparably damaged if you use it constantly. Use the sync chakra instead; it works better.**

_Kurama, I don't use that mode specifically_ because  _it works better. I don't like using sync-mode whenever I go for intimidation._

**Just listen to me, Naruto, or I will** ** _make_** **you listen,**  Kurama growled.

_When have I_ not  _listened to you?_  Naruto asked Kurama.  _I know it's damaging my body. But I can't leave these people alone, and I can't use the chakra-cloak mode because I don't want to become reliant on your chakra to defeat my enemies, Kurama. If I become addicted to it, then I will be nothing but a greedy kunoichi. I will_ not  _become that-I refuse._

Naruto cut the connection with Kurama. It wasn't that Kurama was telling her something she didn't already know, and she and Kurama had their fair share of arguments before.

"So are we just going to wait?" Koyuki asked restlessly.

"No, I'm going to wait. Make the movie, do whatever you want, but I will be the one waiting for them to attack you." Naruto leaned back.

"So I'm bait?" Koyuki questioned.

"Do you want to die?" Naruto took out a kunai and used the weapon to get dirt from under her nails as an intimidation tactic that actually worked.

"No."

"Then yes, you're bait."

~:~

Naruto sighed quietly for a tenth time. She had already sent clones to do some chakra control training, but she was tragically  _bored._  Koyuki was filming, so Naruto created yet another bunshin and set it to watch Koyuki. Naruto then grabbed a leaf from the ground. It was frozen, so Naruto would have a terrible time doing what she was going to do, but she was going to do it anyway.

Naruto placed the leaf on her forehead and concentrated. Concentrated bursts of chakra fed to the leaf made it nearly enough to cut in half.

She was jolted, and she lost her concentration. Memories of her bunshin-

She stood up and took out a kunai. They were here.

"If only I had another person with me," she growled underneath her breath.

She summoned a legion of clones, not using Kurama's chakra. One group had a formation around the princess, as well as a larger group around the crew of the movie.

She was ready. The three shinobi stood there. A smirk crossed the leader's face. Naruto mentally swore.

"Too slow," he taunted. Naruto gasped. Her clones around Koyuki popped. This guy had bunshins of his own!

Naruto threw a hail of kunai at the four bunshins, risking Koyuki in the process. Naruto winced as she recalled she got a  _seven_ out of ten on her kunai-throwing and shuriken-throwing skills.

Luck seemed to be on her side. The kunai either hit or missed the bunshin. Three of the four became mud, while the fourth escaped virtually unharmed.

Naruto swore out loud. She bit her thumb and used half her chakra.

_Understood,_  the bunshin thought to Naruto, who blinked.

_I didn't realize that my blood bunshin could talk to me through my mind,_  she commented to Kurama, who snorted.

**The princess is being taken away,**  he told the girl, who nodded sharply. She handed the bunshin the real necklace and the bunshin gave her the copy.

"Thanks," she told the blood clone. "Keep them safe. I'm going after Koyuki."

"You didn't tag her, remember?" asked the clone with a raised eyebrow.

Naruto grinned. "Just stay with Violet and Shisui, okay? I hope they wake up soon." She was very worried for her ninken. Shisui and Violet were still unconscious, and Naruto didn't know why.

"Okay," the blood bunshin agreed. "Don't get killed."

"I won't," promised Naruto. She saw a rope and smirked. "Mind if I use that?" she asked, pointing to the rope.

"Nope," Makino smiled.

Naruto took the rope and exploded from the ground in a single chakra-enhanced jump.

Throwing it, she thought to Kurama,  _You an Uzumaki?_

**HELL NO!**

_Bet you fifty ryo I can get it._

**WITH WHAT MONEY?! You're on!**

Naruto's rope lashed around a pole, and she grinned.

_Looks like Jiraiya was right. Uzumakis are_ extremely  _lucky._

**You actually paid attention to that…wow, I'm impressed.**

Naruto crawled up the rope shakily. She realized just  _how_  far she was up off the ground, and it scared her. She made the mistake of looking at the ground.

_I don't-_

**You can.**  Kurama's steady presence reassured her. Naruto shut her eyes and crawled up more. It took about five agonizing minutes, but she did it.

She crawled over the railing and entered the room sneakily.

Her bunshin's memories flashed in her mind, and she gritted her teeth.

_Damn. She gave it over willingly! Maybe the fake one that looks real could fool them._

Naruto peaked into the room. Koyuki sat there, her eyes and facial expression cold. Not scared or frightened; she looked like she couldn't care less what happened next.

"Lookie here." Naruto was shoved forward, into the room. She grunted in slight pain as her hair was grabbed, and her face yanked up to meet the ninja she'd met earlier. "Where's the necklace, girlie?"

Naruto took a deep breath and spoke, but it wasn't what they were expecting. "Uzumaki Naruto. Genin. 012607."

It was something all genin were taught in the Academy. Never give any pertinent information to enemy ninja. Only three things were allowed to be said: Name, rank, and ID number.

Sure, this wasn't an S-Class mission, but no matter the mission; you could not say anything to people interrogating you unless they were those three things.

"Tell me." Naruto opened her mouth.

"Uzumaki Naruto. Genin. 012607."

She was backhanded across the face. Naruto smiled, not caring.

"Uzumaki Naruto. Genin. 012607."

Another hit. She felt blood well in her mouth and she accidentally bit her lip.

"Search her."

Naruto's jacket was taken off. Her black shirt was ripped off, revealing the necklace. Before the man could grab it, Naruto used her strength and kicked as high as she could.

A scream resonated through the airship.

Naruto grinned evilly as the Daimyo instinctively closed his legs and the man behind Naruto holding her hair shuddered.

After all, kicking the family jewels did make men angry. Extremely so when you were trying to succeed at something.

"Look, kid, we'll let you go if you cooperate," said the leader of the Iwa trio.

Naruto pushed her heel on the necklace.

"Kazahana Koyuki is under my protection," Naruto rasped. "So shut up." Naruto pushed up and hit him in the head and scraped the necklace off the ground.

**Naruto…**

_Whatever this treasure is, it's important to everyone. So why not screw with them?_ Naruto exited the room and stumbled against the railing.  _Plus I'm not sure I'll be conscious for much longer._

Naruto held the necklace over the edge. Before she could release it, something hit the back of her neck.

_Crap._


	41. Imprisoned

Naruto woke up minutes later, bound, with something around her chest.

_Kurama?_

**Idiot, they have us and they're leaching your chakra. You expanded your chakra reserves!**

_Sorry!_

"As soon as the treasure is revealed, you may take the blondie and do whatever you want with her in Iwa. I bet she would fetch a pretty penny," chuckled someone.

"Especially if she were sold as a slave," chuckled a dumb-sounding voice.

"Shut up," the leader ninja snapped. "Let's just get to the palace and hope no reinforcements of hers arrive."

Naruto blacked out when something collided with her face.

~:~

KONOHA

Naruko sagged from her work. Converting her chakra to healing chakra was  _hard._

Suddenly, her head hurt. Naruko closed her eyes to relieve it, and she stood up, upbending her chair.

She ran from the room, Sakura, Ino and Hinata looking at her with concerned faces.

"BAA-SAN!" She burst into the room. "Baa-san…the original-me!" Tsunade looked alert. "I need reinforcements!"

"Are you exaggerating?" Tsunade asked her.

Naruko calmed herself down…a little. "I'm not exaggerating. DOES ME BEING  _SOLD ON THE BLACK MARKET OR BEING KILLED_ MAKE THE ORIGINAL ME A LITTLE HIGHER ON YOUR  _PRIORITY LIST?!"_

Naruko breathed hard.

"How do you know this?" Tsunade asked her.

"I have a link with all my Ketsueki clones. It's something I literally just found out about. I got this major headache and I saw a guy with an Iwa headband, but I don't think it's  _him,_ " Naruko added hastily. "He's Kakashi's age. That's all I got so far."

"How am I supposed to send anyone to Yuki no Kuni in time to save you? Plus, if original-you dies…"

Naruko nodded. "Yeah, I know."

Naruko bit her lip.  _What if I die? I mean…I hope I don't, but still._ Naruko could only hope for her original's safety.

"What is the progress on your…mission?"

"Not complete. Most of it is." Naruko took a steady breath. "I think my Ketsueki bunshin in Karasu land is almost done learning, so I think I'll be in a coma, unless the Karasu clan is willing to wait. I also got an update from my Ketsueki clone in Hikigaeru land is about a third of the way done with the first part of her training, and I have another clone protecting the crew on the set Koyuki was on. Right now I also have about two hundred Kage bunshins using a triple-decoy  _henge_  and spread through the nations with reinforcement seals. But still, I think I'm getting stretched a bit thin."

Tsunade nodded. "Tell me if you need to rest, alright? Finish the rest of your mission soon."

Naruko nodded. "I'll finish it tonight. See you later, Baa-san."

"Tonight? I don't-"

"I have to work. My mission will be done by the time I arrive home."

Naruko went back to the room.

~:~

Naruto dreamed.

_"_ _Be my friend." Eight-year-old Naruto stared at the great Bijuu, who snarled._

**_"_ ** **_No."_ **

_"_ _Please?" Naruto used her recently-found puppy eyes. The Bijuu stared at her, then averted its eyes._

**_"_ ** **_No."_ **

_"_ _Please be my friend?" A nine-year-old Naruto asked, clasping her hands together. "Pleeeaaase?"_

**_"_ ** **_No! What part of no do you not understand, you thick-headed little brat?!"_ **

_"_ _Please?!"_

**_"_ ** **_No! Shut up and stop bugging me!"_ **

_Ten-year-old Naruto looked up at him._

_"_ _Please be my-"_

_Ruthlessly, the Bijuu forced the image of him spearing her parents on his claw on the ten year old._

_Naruto screamed. She felt on her butt in the water._

_Then she looked at the Bijuu._

_And vanished._

_Later, Naruto appeared into the Kyuubi's cage._

_"_ _I'm sorry," she said, looking down. The kid then looked at the Kyuubi, tears in her eyes. "I'm sorry for keeping you locked up in here!"_

_The Kyuubi eyed her for a minute. Then Naruto concentrated._

_Blue chakra appeared, going back into the cage. Into the Kyuubi._

_"_ _I'm sorry for stealing your chakra."_

_She was about to leave when the Kyuubi finally moved._

_He put his fist out._ **_"_ ** **_Do you want to be friends?"_ ** _He sounded slightly uncomfortable._

_Naruto smiled. "I think we got off on the wrong foot, -ttebayo! I'm Uzumaki Naruto."_

_The Kyuubi hesitated. Then he smiled, though it was sort of frightening, the ten-year-old never let it show._

**_"_ ** **_My name…is Kurama. Don't tell anyone else. Come on, kit. Bump my fist with yours."_ **

_Naruto smiled brightly._

_After Kurama withdrew his fist, Naruto took a deep breath and opened the gates with pure mental will._

_The seal and paper vanished, only to reappear on Kurama's body._

Naruto woke up with a jolt. Her dream was what had happened with Kurama when they had finally become friends two years ago.

Chains clinked above her. She tried using chakra, only to feel like she'd gotten fried with electricity…which was actually correct. She  _had_  gotten fried with electricity, and  _damn_  it hurt.

Well, professional thief here. She did have to earn her way to becoming a prostitute…which sounded a lot better in her head, but, well. She knew all sorts of things; how to pickpocket a ninja (if it wasn't a jounin. Man, that guy had nearly killed her. Or a high-level chuunin), and how to break into homes.

Picking locks had never been Naruto's area of expertise, but she was skilled enough to get by. Hopefully the chains were similar to the cuffs that the Uchiha Police Force had used.

She took a deep breath and reached for her ninja shoes.


	42. Itachi's Honesty

Uchiha Itachi was going to take out the Daimyo of Yuki no Kuni. Kisame was doing another job.

Itachi paused at an overlooking cliff. A movie crew stood there, looking rather worried. Naruto was there, looking even more worried about something.

He walked into their midst, making people shut up and look at him.

Naruto got into a guarded stance.

"What are you doing here?" she asked him icily.

"Not here for you," Itachi replied. "You looked worried."

Naruto's incredulous face made Itachi internally wince.

"My ninken aren't waking up and I'm currently trapped in a dungeon trying to pick my chains. OF COURSE I'M WORRIED!" Naruto's eyes welled up with tears.

"May I take a look at them?"

"NO WAY!"

"Naruto-chan, I give you my word on Shisui's grave that I am not here to harm you."

Naruto hesitated. "Mind if I keep a kunai out?"

"If it makes you feel any better. You better not let them film this," Itachi warned her.

"They won't, we're not using any jutsu," Naruto dismissed.

She gestured towards the tent with her kunai. She kept her kunai ready, but knew that if Itachi wanted to, he could take her now and nobody would give a damn.

"They are simply regaining their chakra," Itachi said after looking them over with his Sharingan. "Now, where is the fortress? I do not ask because I wish to capture you, I ask so that I may finish my job."

"And your job is?" Naruto asked him.

"Taking Dotou's head." Itachi looked at her, onyx eyes burning into hers. "I know that you cannot trust me-"

"Tell me you didn't!" The words burst out of her before she could stop them. "Tell me you didn't, 'Tachi!" Naruto grasped his Akatsuki cloak and looked into his eyes. Itachi stared at her, shock in every pore of his being. Naruto's eyes began to water, and the next words that came out of her made his eyes soften. "Tell me…tell me that  _ _you didn't kill Shisui!"__

Itachi got on his knees and hugged her. "I didn't kill Shisui." Itachi's whisper of the truth made Naruto gasp. "Shisui committed suicide. Shisui died, but he gave me his last eye. Kotoamatsukami." Itachi kept a frim hold on Naruto. "Shisui was the first one who acknowledged your existence."

"You were the second, 'Tachi," she replied, her voice muffled.

Itachi sighed.

"Itachi…I signed the contract to the crow summoning. I have a Ketsueki clone learning from them, although it's almost done." Naruto sighed. She released him, and Itachi stood. "Perhaps…we can fight together for now…-ttebayo. I'll show you where I am, I'll release myself…and Itachi…please…don't die."

Itachi barely heard the last two words she said. But he still heard them.

"I have no plans on dying today, Uzumaki Naruto." Itachi took off his Akatsuki cloak. "But perhaps it would be better if I was not in Akatsuki clothing, no?"

"Hai!" Naruto's smile was big. Her pupils turned red, her whisker marks darkening, and when she spoke, it was layered with the Kyuubi's voice. "Let's do this!"

~:~

"Uh…" the samurai of Yuki no Kuni stared at the two ninja. One was a well-known missing-nin and the other was a genin the missing-nin seemed to like. "Are we really going to do this? One's a missing-nin, one's a  _ _genin!"__

The man who had hired Naruto, Asama Sandayuu, hushed them.

"Uzumaki Naruto is a capable genin. I trust her to make the right decision. Plus, we're to distract the guards while Naruto frees Koyuki-hime and goes after Dotou," he told them all. "That's it. Minimal losses."

"Plus, with my capabilities with the Mass Shadow Clone Jutsu, I can make a thousand of myself to aid ya!" Naruto winked. Her face was open and honest, and a heart seemed to come from her wink. Naruto gave them a thumbs up. "And I only trust Itachi 'cause he's honest. Most of the time."

Itachi looked at her. His face was covered, so as to not tip off anyone (*cough* Akatsuki *cough*) that he was a missing-nin working with Naruto, the jinchuuriki that they wanted to catch the most.

"I will go ahead with Naruto-chan and find Dotou and Koyuki with her. While we do that, you distract the guards. It's easy, and Koyuki will be returned to this cast if that's what she desires." Itachi glanced at Naruto, who nodded.

"Know that most of you will probably die," Naruto said bluntly. "But if Itachi and I succeed, then you succeeded in freeing this country." Naruto took a deep breath. "Also, please stop staring. It's making me blush." Indeed, her cheeks were reddening.

"Alright!" Sandayuu said with a smile. "Let's do this! For Koyuki-hime!"

"Koyuki-hime!"

~:~

Naruto glanced at the princess. "You awake yet, hime?"

Koyuki glanced at the slightly sparking girl.

"Yes." Her voice was clipped.

"We're going to be rescued," Naruto told her with a grin. Then it slipped from her face. "Also, you're a bitch."

"I was born one," Koyuki snapped at Naruto.

"Ooh, feisty," Naruto snorted. "Look, it's not my fault. You were the one who wanted to die so bad."

Koyuki gained an irk mark.

"Shut up!"

"Make me… _ _bitch.__ "

Koyuki stood up and slapped Naruto. Naruto's head jolted. That wasn't the slap of an actress-that was the slap of someone who was genuinely pissed.

"Finally," Naruto said with a smirk. "Your frozen heart is thawing."

Koyuki stared at her. "Why are you so determined to make me feel?"

"I'm not." Naruto stopped trying to undo her cuffs.

"Then what-?"

"I'M TRYING TO MAKE YOU  _ _CARE!"__  Naruto glared at the princess. "I'm trying to make you understand something! This cold feeling that you're showing-like you can't feel? That's what I'm trying to break through! You want to die knowing you could've helped and not care about that? That's called being a  _ _coward."__  Naruto glared at Koyuki. "These people don't deserve this, Koyuki."

"What would you know about your entire nation being pillaged, being taken over?" Koyuki asked coldly.

Naruto looked at her chains. "Me personally? Nothing. But my mother's village was destroyed by Kumo, Kiri, and Iwa near the end of the Second Shinobi World War." Koyuki gasped. "When she heard the news, it was too late to help. She went home after she became a genin, and she opened the door to see nobody." Naruto sighed and closed her eyes. "I was just like her, except whenever I went home, I went home to an empty apartment every day…before and after I became a genin. Koyuki, I was just like you. I was to the point where I just stopped truly caring whether or not I was acknowledged…until a boy asked me if I was okay." Naruto looked at Koyuki. "Then he was killed." Naruto went back to unlocking her chains, ignoring the electricity. "Now, I'm going to get out of here, even if I'm a corpse."


	43. The Truth Is Finally Given

Itachi and Naruto slipped through the castle to the dungeons. Naruto heard herself.

"-a boy asked me if I was okay. Then he was killed." There was a clinking noise. "Now, I'm going to get out of here, even if I'm a corpse."

"Fortunately, that's not necessary," Itachi said in an amused voice. "And Shisui actually  _ _did__  commit suicide after an incident involving Danzou and his Mangekyou Sharingan." Itachi and Naruto revealed themselves.

"Me! And Itachi!" Naruto cried.

"He's not here to take us," Naruto-2 said with a smile. "He  _ _wuvs__  us."

"Don't push it," Itachi said coolly. "I do not 'wuv' you."

"Aw, don't be mean, 'Tachi!" Naruto grinned. "Ah…do you know how to pick locks? I suck at it."

Itachi sighed quietly.

"And I won the bet!" Naruto-1 yelled. Naruto-2 smirked at her counterpart.

"What bet?" Itachi asked, unlocking the door.

"I got you to say 'wuv'!" Naruto beamed. "Score for Uzumaki Naruto! I got Itachi to say something uncharacteristic for his stick-up-the-ass clan!"

Itachi shook his head. "Is that a bet you made with Shisui?"

"Nope, it was a bet I made with you," smirked Naruto. "When Shisui and I got imprisoned and you released us and helped me home, I bet you 10 ryo-plus ten for each year I wasn't able to get you to say it! The condition was I had to be twenty for it not to count!"

Itachi sighed. "I'll give you the ryo the next time we meet."

"All 70 ryo?"

"All 70 ryo," Itachi said. He unlocked the chains. "Hime, I must collect your uncle's bounty."

"Never let it be said that some missing-nin don't have manners," Both Narutos muttered.

 ** **Bet you were wishing you were legal about now, aren't you?****  Snickered the highly amused Kurama.

 _ _Fuck off, Kurama,__  both Narutos angrily returned.

Kurama's laugh echoed in their minds.

"Naruto." Both of them looked at Itachi. "You'll have to sit this one out."

"Like hell!" Naruto-1 said. "I can-"

Itachi's Sharingan swirled and put her to sleep.

Naruto-2 avoided looking at him.

"Naruto-kun. You may help; however, Naruto-1 cannot because her body is almost completely out of chakra."

Naruto-2 nodded. "What should I do?"

" _ _Henge__ her. Then she should fit in your jumpsuit." Itachi's voice was smooth, but Naruto had the distinct impression he was inwardly laughing at her ability to transform objects and yet still be able to use chakra.

 _ _Teme,__  Naruto growled.  _ _Why is he so like his little brother?__

 ** **He's Sasuke's older brother. Now, let's go!****  Kurama ordered.

"We should go," Naruto said, her face hot as she put a  _ _henge__  on her original self.

~"~

The three raced out of the dungeon and entered the throne room.

 ** **Naruto. There's a type of taijutsu that I want to teach you. It's similar to the Gentle Fist, but it's different all the same.****  Kurama's voice sounded in her mind, distracting her.

__So?_ _

****I want control of your body. It shatters bones and ruptures organs. It's called** ** **__**Fokkusu no ken.** _ _ **

__Alright.__  Naruto took a deep breath. Kurama's chakra flowed through her hands and feet.

Naruto dashed in and slammed a hand on the armor. The man was blasted away, the centerpiece cracked. Naruto slammed her hand on it again, and it shattered.

"How?" the Daimyo gasped.

"It's my new taijutsu style," Naruto grinned at him. "It's called  _ _Fokkusu no ken.__ " Naruto drove two slams on the Daimyo's centerpiece. Then she slammed a third hand in the center of his chest, and his heart exploded. Naruto turned to the other two Iwa nin. They looked pale and shocked.

Four strikes and the centerpieces were gone.

The armor cracked and fell to pieces.

"Iwa-nin. Do you know who this is?" Naruto's limbs felt like lead as she brought out the paper with Tsunade's rapist on it. It wasn't the original, as Naruto had left it in her house underneath a loose board. "Blonde, blue-eyed man with an insane smile? Lived in Second Shinobi World War?"

"No!" the Iwa nin said. The leader gulped. Naruto sighed.

"Damn." Naruto didn't look back at the kill she'd made. She then pulled the leader up. "Put this in your Bingo Book: Uzumaki Kyuubi and Uzumaki Naruto. Genin. Defeated three jounin." She dropped him. "See ya!" She looked to Itachi. "He's yours. Koyuki…I'm sor-"

"Don't say it." Koyuki looked down. "I'm a brat. I should've known that he was only human. Only…what was the treasure that could help my people?"

Naruto shrugged and took out the real  _ _real__ crystal. "Don't know. But I think it's yours to do what you will with." She tossed the crystal to Koyuki. "I have to go. Itachi, will you be able to get my real body to-"

"Kage bunshin no jutsu," Itachi intoned. Another copy of him appeared, and Naruto took out the kunai that was actually the original and dispelled it.

"It's time for me to go, Koyuki. I hope we meet again one day!" Naruto dispelled herself.

A few minutes later, so did the one in the summon dimension-well, the one with the crows.

~:~

Naruko sighed as she walked up to Danzou's home in her Tenshi form. She normally didn't do house calls, but she was certain a man like Danzou preferred to do things discreetly.

On her hand was a transfer seal. It was done in invisible chakra-absorbent ink. Also on her wrist was a paralysis seal. When she found the seals that bound Danzou, she would press her hand and invoke the transfer jutsu.

She was getting worn out. But today had been full of surprises-from a huge spurt of medical chakra keeping the fish alive coming out of her hands to Itachi rescuing original-her…she was pleased by the day's events.

But she was still sad. Terribly so.

It turned out, the Sandaime had died. Shikamaru had been thinking about shogi, but applying it to real-life. Tsunade was filling her head with politics (which was kind of annoying), which made her understand some of the stuff Shika had spoken about.

Someone was controlling Orochimaru, who was controlling Sasuke, who was playing Orochimaru, who was playing the person behind the schemes. And the 'pawns' were slowly coming out of the woodwork…Naruko suppressed a sigh as she walked up, putting her specialized lipstick on. She had to make sure he hallucinated everything before passing out, no?

Making her way in, she was greeted cordially by one of the 'Ne' people.

Naruko smiled angelically.

"I don't know why Danzou-sama summoned  _ _you,__ " the pale person said.

"Perhaps he wanted a woman this time," Naruko commented sweetly. The pale guy stared at her in shock. She smiled. "After all, we seem to need much less foreplay. Or preparation." He blinked.

"Is this the usual talk for a prostitute?"

"Only when we're dealing with assholes who are not much more than their name," she eye smiled.

She could feel the anger pulsing through this guy's chakra. He did nothing.

Naruto walked behind him.

She entered the room and gave Danzou a kiss on the cheek. Now she only had to wait for a minute and the poison would go through his skin and seep into his bloodstream.

"How much ryo must I have to get you to stay for a while?" Danzou was definitely direct.

"I don't normally do house calls, but you  _ _are__ an illustrious man…I wouldn't have  _ _dreamed__  of saying no," Tenshi smiled. She was fully in her Tenshi persona.

"Leave us," Danzou said, looking a little unfocused. Naruto could feel his chakra going a little haywire.

The pale man bowed, but didn't leave until after he threw Tenshi a nasty look.


	44. Completed Missions, Dates, and Amnesia

Four hours later and he was fully under the poison.

Tenshi looked for the sealing array and easily found it after easing out of the bed. His back faced her as he snored, and thank  _ _kami__  Naruto had been able to use the bathroom and made a clone.  _ _Not__  a Kage Bunshin; she did  _ _not__ want the original to be angry to realize that she'd  _ _indirectly__ slept with  _ _Shimura Danzou.__  Tenshi took a deep, steadying breath, channeled her chakra, and whispered,  _"_ _ _Fuuin: Transfer Seals!"__

His array glowed. Naruko's paralysis seal slid down her hand and onto his back. She could feel several chakra signatures, but Danzou's eyes were wide, and Tenshi took a deep breath and let her 'Kitsune' mask 'unveil' itself.

"Shimura Danzou, for the crimes you have committed against the Hokage and against Konohagakure…I carry out your sentence as traitor to the Leaf."

Shisui's eye was taken from him and sealed away after he was dead, the other Sharingan sealed in a different scroll.

She would burn them. Naruko took a deep breath. "Katon: Great Fireball Technique!"

She lit Danzou's corpse on fire. It turned to ash after a couple hours.

She leapt out of the window. Mission: Complete.

~:~

Naruto woke up. She knew her name…what she was…what she held inside her…but all she recalled was a pair of red eyes.

Naruto took a deep breath.

She took stock of her surroundings.

She was in the woods. She stood up.

"Are you alright?" Naruto whirled. A man with brown hair and golden eyes looked at her with concern. It was real concern, too. Naruto frowned.

__Real concern? Does that mean I know what fake concern is?_ _

Naruto nodded. "I think so. Do you know where I am?" She figured she'd be polite.

"In the woods near Kirigakure." He moved closer. "Do you need help?"

Naruto bit her lip. "Well, I think that if I had any memories, I lost them."

~:~

Naruko woke up in a slightly familiar place. She walked out of her bedroom after getting dressed in a nice orange outfit, and stopped at the entrance to the kitchen.

"Hey, Naruko, what are you making that face for?" a redhead smiled. "Haku cooked!"

"That's nice…" she looked down.

"Naruko, are you alright?" A really girly-looking boy entered her view with a child.

"Well…yeah, I'm fine but…" her next words made silence descend. "Who the hell are you guys?"

~:~

"You don't remember  _ _anything?__ " Tsunade asked in a disbelieving tone.

"A pair of red eyes…but that could be my imagination," Naruko replied. "And our name…Naruto. I suppose I'm called Naruko?" Naruko hummed. "Yeah, I don't remember anything."

"Okay…just stay with Haku while we try to figure it out for you."

"Got it." Naruko followed the girly boy.

~:~

"Hotaru, do you think Tonbee would mind if Naruto stays with me?" Utakata smiled at Hotaru politely. He didn't mind Naruto's clinginess. Hotaru smiled.

"Of course not!" was her perky reply. "Is Naruto a boy?"

"Yes," Utakata lied smoothly. "He's lost his memory. He forgot we were together." Utakata nearly smirked at Hotaru's shocked look.

"You're-" Hotaru flushed. "Uh, I'll be right back."

Utakata waited until Hotaru was gone to turn to the younger jinchuuriki.

"You look older with that  _ _henge__  on. I thought it was a good idea," he sheepishly informed her.

Naruto shrugged, her sparkling cerulean eyes gazing at him with happiness. "Is this where you live? It's gorgeous!"

"No, I'm staying here and teaching Hotaru some water jutsu." He paused. "What's your affinity?"

Naruto closed her eyes. "Kyuu says I have a weak water affinity and a big wind affinity." Naruto looked at Utakata with a big smile. "He also says that the Uchiha that did this to me will have his eyes ripped out with a rusty spoon!"

Utakata refused to smile.

 ** **Kurama was always a big ass,****  Saiken commented.

 _ _Please don't talk to me right now,__  Utakata requested.

 ** **But I like this girl!****  Saiken objected.  ** **She could be the one Dad was talking about.****

Utakata ignored his tailed beast.

"I'm going to help you get your memories back," he promised.

"No need! Kyuu said I have two months before I remember!"

Her innocent reply made Utakata chuckle.

"How old are you?"

"I'll be turning fourteen in October!"

"…I just said that I was in a relationship with a thirteen-year-old…"

~:~

PURE WORLD

"LET ME KILL HIM!" Minato held a struggling Kushina from reviving herself. "HE'S GOING TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF MY BABY GIRL!"

"I'LL HELP!" They looked to see bugs holding back Inuzuka Kahara, who glared at her husband. "LET ME GO!"

"It is illogical to fight," Aburame Shiki said in his normal tone. "We're dead, she's not."

"Well, we know she still hasn't married anyone by the time she's fourteen. Remember that time-space incident?" Minato asked with a smile. That's how he'd been able to live through the few years leading to his death. He'd seen her, his beautiful baby girl…and Shiki had been there. Akimichi Chouza, Aburame Shiki, Namikaze Minato, and Hatake Kakashi had met a man named Yamato, the older Hatake Kakashi, Utakata, Jiraiya, and Naruto.

"Oh, is that why you came home the morning after you left and were grinning like an idiot?" Kushina wondered. "And why you agreed to name our child  _ _Naruto?"__

"Hai…" he was sort of unsure if Kushina was angry.

Hair started waving gently around as Kushina turned to her husband. "AND YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU MET OUR FUTURE DAUGHTER?!"

"Uh…because I wasn't allowed to tell you?"

"Shiki…is that part of the reason you convinced me not to have any kids?" Kahara questioned.

"Partly," Shiki admitted. "The first time I met her she burst into tears and hugged me, seemingly hungover. It was rather awkward."

Kahara laughed at him.

~:~

TSUCHIGUMO HOME

Naruto went to bed in the same room as Utakata. As Utakata took the floor, the bed was empty. Naruto felt rather bereft of human contact and got out of the bed. She took Utakata's am and hauled him into the bed. Then she crawled in next to him and turned her back.

She fell asleep, free of the burden of her memories.

~:~

"Hey, Naruko! How are you?" Ino asked with a smile.

Naruko gave her a small smile. "Hey, Ino!" she said perkily. "I'm fine today, you?"

"I'm good, just hanging out with your husband and my teammate," Ino grinned. "Is he seriously a genius?"

"Uh…yes?" Naruko was lost. "He's brilliant!"

Shikamaru appeared.

"Speaking of the man!" Ino clasped Shikamaru's arm and shoved him into Naruko's arms. "You guys should go on a date!"

Naruko frowned. "Why? We're married, so-"

"Ino, why don't you just leave clan politics out of this?" Shikamaru said in a pleading tone.

"I was just thinking that as her-"

"It's between Uzumaki and Nara," Shikamaru said. "Plus, given the fact that Naruko's being shadowed by Haku, I don't think it's a good time to mess with her."

"Fine!" Ino huffed, then turned around and left. Shikamaru turned to Naruto. "Sorry. Ino's troublesome."

"No, it's fine," Naruko smiled. "Thanks for the save."

He waved a hand. "She is right, no matter how troublesome she is."

"Is that your roundabout way of saying you want to go on a date with me?" Naruko asked with a small smile.

"I suppose it is," he muttered, a small blush on his face.

"Okay!" Naruto smiled, but then Zabuza came by and grabbed her, mumbling something about Haku needing to speak to Shikamaru. "Pick me up whenever!"

~:~

"Nara-san." Shikamaru turned to see a serene-looking Haku appear. "I know you and Naruto are married, but you hurt her and I'll make certain your death is as painful as possible. Got it?" Haku smiled that creepy-ass smile, which, quite frankly, scared Shikamaru the most.

"Got it," Shikamaru shakily replied.

"Well," Haku said after a moment, "I wish you luck and hope you don't die when Naruto's pseudo-parent appears."

Shikamaru gulped.


	45. Misunderstandings

Jiraiya stared at Naruto's ninken. The princess Kazahana Koyuki had written him saying that Naruto had left her land but had left her ninken.

"And you couldn't find her at all?" Jiraiya asked almost desperately.

 **"** ** **If I have to say it again, I will**** ** _ _ **scream,**__** **"** Violet snarled.  **"** ** **No, I couldn't. Shisui only realized the scent smelled similar to the Uchiha boy."****

 **"** ** **It was an**** ** _ _ **almost**__** ** **perfect match. We woke up next to a cloak with red clouds."**** Shisui glanced up at Jiraiya, who stared at him.  **"** ** **We were out again a few seconds later."****

"Great. The Akatsuki probably have her," Jiraiya groaned, putting his head in his hands.

 **"** ** **They might not,"**** Shisui said. Violet growled at him.

**"** ****Don't! She said-"** **

**"** ** **I'm doing this because it's the right thing, Violet!"**** Ignoring the fox, who growled at him, Shisui looked at Jiraiya.  **"** ** **The Akatsuki member could be Itachi."****

Jiraiya stared at him.  _ _He wouldn't know that Itachi's an Uchiha,__  he thought.  _ _Nor would the fox.__

"Itachi."

 _ _She spoke highly of him. I think she had a crush on him at one point,__  Jiraiya thought. He thought back to a few weeks ago. Almost two months ago, if he wanted to worry.

ON THE WAY TO THE CAPITOL OF HI NO KUNI

_"_ __Naruto, are you okay with the marriage contract?" Jiraiya wanted to get his goddaughter's view on this._ _

_"_ __Yeah, I mean, I'm glad I don't have to marry someone I don't know, but all the same. I mean, I'm not happy or sad." Naruto looked up at the sky._ _

_"_ __What does make you feel happy?" Jiraiya asked her._ _

__Naruto shrugged. "I'm happy," she lied. Jiraiya could tell she was lying._ _

_"_ __You're lying. You're not happy." Jiraiya set a hand on her head. "Tell me, Naruto, when was the first time you felt so light that you felt like you could fly?"_ _

_"_ __When I met Shisui…and Itachi." Naruto took a deep breath. "Shisui and I were playing a prank on the Police Headquarters. We got arrested and put in the drunk tank." Jiraiya stared at her. "Shisui kept me close because the other drunks were leering at me. Itachi and I met the next morning when he bailed us out, and I made a bet with him." A small smile came on her face. "And when I met Anko-nee and worked with her. But I think those two times have been really the only times, -ttebayo. The Uchiha massacre and Shisui died…it hurt me. A lot."_ _

_"_ __Why?" Jiraiya was distracted from his original question._ _

_"_ __I never expected Itachi to do such a thing. But now…Now I know the real reason." Naruto's legs swung off the edge of the cart. "I wonder if I will get my answer someday."_ _

_"_ __What answer?" Jiraiya wondered._ _

_"_ __I wonder…if Itachi did kill Shisui."_ _

Jiraiya sighed. There had been a blush on her face at the thought of the bet.  _ _Itachi, whatever you did to my goddaughter, I pray that you did__ not  _ _take her to get her bijuu removed.__

~:~

**"** ****At least you have not failed in your missions, Yahiko, Konan. How fares the jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi?"** **

Itachi saw the smiley orange-haired man as a weirdo. He wasn't exactly a missing-nin, but he had piercings all over his face that were apparently the result of Pein using him as a Path of Pein before Pein revived him with the Rinnegan.

It was, in other words, hella confusing.

Itachi watched the orange-haired man grin. "We saw the kid with the Rokubi jinchuuriki two weeks ago and thought that we weren't all that equipped to deal with fifteen tails' worth of power." Yahiko grinned. "Not just Konan and I. Mind if we steal Ita-kun to try to take them on?"

 **"** ** **Not at all."**** Pein vanished.

"Let's go, Ita-kun!" Yahiko yanked him away.

"Why not take Kisame-?"

"Samehada needs to rest," the shark-man said.

Itachi had a feeling that Kisame was lying.

Itachi followed Yahiko and Konan.

"So," Yahiko said, withdrawing his arm, "just what intentions do you have for Uzumaki Naruto?"

Itachi tensed.

"Because we saw the Rokubi container  _ _henge-__ ing into a civilian and buying a box that looked suspiciously like condoms!"

Itachi froze.

__Condoms? I ERASED HER MEMORY, AND THAT ROKUBI BASTARD IS TAKING ADVANTAGE OF HER STATE!_ _

A murderous aura filled the air as Itachi's Mangekyou swirled to life.

~:~

"Don't kill me, woman!"

"I thought you said she was a boy!"

"Well, she lost her memory and I saved her! How was I supposed to know she was a monster on her week?!"

Naruto smiled as Tonbee held out a platter of chocolate.

"You're so nice, Tonbee-san!" Naruto smiled. "You make amazing chocolates!"

"Hotaru has a chocolate allergy," the man explained with a smile. "I've known how to make them since I entered this clan."

Utakata sighed with relief. According to Saiken, this actually didn't occur once a month for Naruto, just once a year for the Uzumaki hosts of the Kyuubi as long as they were female. And he'd had to go into Kiri for pads. When he'd left, he'd been stopped because the pads were suspiciously bulging.

Men behind Utakata had snickered. The female guard had blushed and apologized, shoving the box of pads into the bag. Utakata had walked for three miles, utterly humiliated, before dropping his  _ _henge__  and darting to Hotaru's homestead.

"Naruto, you okay?" Naruto tilted her head cutely. Utakata blushed.

Then he felt a massive killing intent.

"Hotaru, get in the house," Naruto said. "Mind if I keep the tray?" she asked Tonbee, who smiled and shook his head.

"Not at all!"

Naruto looked at Utakata. They'd formed a friendship, pretend dating aside. Utakata had loosened up quite a bit, even opening up a bit in her presence.

_"_ __Why are you so against Hotaru calling you master, Utakata-san?"_ _

_"_ __Call me Utakata," Utakata gently said to the amnesiac. "And…it's because…well, I carry the Rokubi. My master tried to take it out of me." Utakata winced in remembrance of the pain. He placed a hand over his stomach. "Instead, the Rokubi killed him."_ _

_"_ __So, the Rokubi saved you?" Naruto asked, tilting her head in confusion._ _

__Utakata frowned. "I…never thought of it like that." He gazed at Naruto. "What about you? Did the Kyuubi hurt you in any way?"_ _

__Naruto shrugged. "He tells me he killed my parents."_ _

__Utakata's eyes widened._ _

_"_ __But that was because of an Uchiha…it's always an Uchiha, though, that controls him with the Sharingan, -ttebayo! One day, the Sharingan won't be able to do that, -ttebayo!" Naruto smiled. "Well, I hope."_ _

_"_ __How are you friends?" Utakata asked her._ _

_"_ __He says it's because of my idiotic persistence that wore him down," Naruto shrugged._ _

Naruto sensed the threats. One familiar chakra, two unfamiliar ones.

And the familiar one was  _ _angry.__

Then they burst out of the trees. Utakata was slammed back by a fist from the Uchiha.

Naruto gulped. He was stalking Utakata, his Sharingan spinning.

"How dare you!" he seethed. "How dare you take advantage of-!"

"Uh…Itachi?" Naruto blinked as the man turned to her, assessing her.

"Are you still a virgin?" he asked her in a 'calm' tone.

Naruto frowned. "Kyuu says no," Naruto frowned, "but he also says I lost it about two years ago…that's what he says," she added hastily. "Speaking of Kyuu, why did you erase my memories?"

Itachi blinked. "Uh…"

"Itachi? I found the receipt." A bluenette was looking at the receipt, and orange haired guy rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. "It says here he bought  _ _pads__ , not  _ _condoms.__ "

"Is that true?" Itachi asked Utakata, flushing in embarrassment.

"Yes," Utakata said, standing up. "Why are you here?"

"Well, I think we're supposed to capture you," replied the orange-haired man. "But I kind of sent a note to Jiraiya-sensei, so he should be here about…"

Something poofed, filling the area with smoke. Jiraiya and Naruto's ninken stood on top of a humongous toad.

"…now," finished Yahiko. "Hey, Jiraiya-sensei!"

Jiraiya stared.

"Who are these people?" Hotaru finally snapped.

"Oh, Hotaru, Tonbee, these are the guys who want to rip out Utakata's and mine bijuus, which are Tailed Beasts, of which I house the most powerful and Utakata one of the more powerful ones. They're also worried about my virginity, which they really shouldn't be because they're trying to kill us, and I honestly don't understand  _ _why__  they'd be worried about it because the organization is full of killers. That's my sensei Jiraiya and those are my ninken." Naruto shrugged like it wasn't a big deal.

"Naruto, don't you also have your kikaichu?" Jiraiya wondered out loud.

Naruto frowned. "Are those the buzzing things under my skin? I thought it was Kyuu's chakra."

Everyone sweatdropped.

"Perhaps I should restore your memory and be off," offered Itachi sheepishly.


	46. Explanations and Back to Traveling

"Yahiko? Konan?" Jiraiya's gaze turned to his former students. "Is Nagato still alive?"

"Hai…" Yahiko seemed nervous. "I actually died, but Nagato was able to revive me. Konan and I are together."

"I can tell," the man said with a smile. "And who are you, young man?"

"Utakata," Utakata responded stiffly. "I suppose I should be leav-"

"No!" Hotaru looked sad. "Please don't go, Utakata! I need to be stronger to use the weapon of my clan!"

Jiraiya looked down to Yahiko and Konan.

"You wouldn't care if I added more sibling-students?" he questioned.

Yahiko shrugged. "Honestly, I'm just glad you're teaching Nagato's family." Yahiko took a deep sigh. "Plus, if I'm right, her dad was your student a little after us, yeah?"

"It was actually near the end of the Second Shinobi War. But yeah," he admitted sheepishly.

"I think you might need a new team," Konan spoke up. "And you can protect the children more."

Jiraiya smiled.

~:~

Itachi placed his hands on Naruto's cheeks, and his Sharingan swirled.

_I am sorry, Naruto, but I thought I could save you. I was wrong,_  Itachi couldn't help but think as his Sharingan restored her memories and her eyes fluttered shut so she could stave off the onslaught of the memories flooding in. Oblivious to the world around them, Itachi caught her and pressed a kiss to her forehead.  _I hope I see you before I die, Naruto. One last time._

He didn't know that Naruto had felt his kiss, brief as it was.

~:~

Jiraiya sipped at the tea in the house. It was actually good to sit down and drink it as Hotaru and Utakata thought about the offer he'd given.

Utakata was definitely reluctant.

"What is Konoha's laws on jinchuuriki?" Utakata asked Jiraiya, who chuckled a bit.

"Don't use that word around Naruto," he chided. "She'd be even worse than she is on her period." Hotaru's eyes stabbed at him, and he winced. So he answered his question. "Currently, Konoha houses the Kyuubi, the Nanabi, the Sanbi, and the Ichibi. Naruto here was treated worse than shit."

Jiraiya looked at Utakata. "However, it was because of the council, who thought Naruto  _was_  the Kyuubi. I think the jinchuurikis are trying to fit into the Uzumaki clan, but I've heard little to nothing about them. Most likely they use  _henges_  to avoid being seen."

Jiraiya sighed. "Naruto's father sacrificed himself to save Konoha, and to seal the Kyuubi into Naruto. I couldn't take care of Naruto because of my extensive spy network that I had to take care of. Naruto grew up alone, friendless, without a family. She hasn't told me much, but I will teach her."

Jiraiya took another sip of his tea, then closed his eyes. "She's the head of the Uzumaki clan, and I am pretty damn certain that she'll offer you a place in her clan. She's already taken random children into the clan. She doesn't discriminate. She does her best to help her friends and family."

He opened his eyes. "Konoha doesn't give a flying shit if you're youkai or the container of a bijuu. You're a jinchuuriki. Who cares? Naruto's the head of a rising clan that will back you up if you ask her nicely or made a good impression. I'm asking you to come with me to learn, not dedicate yourself to a life of servitude. You wanna become a fry cook? Go right ahead! You want to become the weird reclusive hermit? No problem. Konoha will show you to the nearest Hermit Club. You want to become a porn star? Doesn't matter."

Hotaru choked on her tea at the last sentence.

"But you want to help your fellow jinchuuriki, I'd suggest joining Konoha's ninja force. Hell, you could ask Konoha for D-Ranks and say 'no' to any other missions. Konoha will offer you a life." He turned to Hotaru. "As for you, I can't say much, but I will teach you as much as I can."

"Just be warned," Naruto's voice said, a light tone in it as everyone turned to look at Naruto, who stood in the doorway looking vibrant, her ninken strolling into the room with a few bugs flying around, "you'll be teamed with two super perverts."

"Oi! I'm the only-" Jiraiya frowned at her. "You mean to tell me you're a super pervert?!"

"Of course!" Naruto did a couple handsigns, and instantly she was a naked blonde lady with not even a wisp of smoke in sight to cover herself.

Jiraiya got a massive nosebleed as Utakata stared openly and slowly turned red until he fainted.

Naruto released the jutsu and grinned. "Ah, that was fun."

~:~

"Bye, Tonbee!" Hotaru waved with a smile. Hotaru had written a letter to the others of the Tsuchigumo clan stating she was leaving on a training journey.

"I'll carry you!" Naruto offered. "Since you're not used to using chakra."

"No," Hotaru said stubbornly. "Where are we going?"

"We're going to a hideout of mine," Jiraiya said with a smile. "I was going to take Naruto there before the mission, so that's now our destination unless Tsunade-hime contacts us with another mission."

"And this time, I'll have backup… _right, Jiraiya-sensei?"_  Naruto asked her sensei with a dark smile.

"O-of course!" squeaked Jiraiya, suddenly terrified of his goddaughter.

"Also, Jiraiya's in love with Tsunade," Naruto smirked.

Jiraiya pouted.


	47. New Clan Members and Bonding Time

"Jiraiya and you are traveling with another bijuu holder," Tsunade informed Naruko. "Are you okay with that?"

"Yeah, I'm fine with that, Baa-san. By the way, I completed my mission," she added. Tsunade nodded.

"I assumed so." She stood. "May I see the seals?"

Naruko took her top shirt off and channeled chakra. The seals lit up in a blood red color, visible under the mesh shirt she wore.

"Is the red normal?"

"Yeah," Naruko nodded. "In a few more weeks it will calm down to black, but for now it's unusable because I used a transfer seal."

She took a deep breath and put her top shirt back on. Her head was feeling a bit odd, but that was because of the Yin Seal. Since Naruto had an imbalance of Yin and yet more spiritual chakra than most, the seal was going to be visible even faster than Tsunade's or Sakura's.

Sakura was definitely one of the best iryonin ever. Naruto, while being able to convert her chakra to healing chakra, couldn't actively heal anyone for long periods of time. Since the gene for chakra chains and the healing-bite ran in Uzumaki females, Naruto could heal people if they so desired. She preferred not to let people bite her.

And they needed to bite  _hard_. Which, obviously, hurt.

"Keep it," Tsunade said, sitting back in her chair. "I suppose you having control of 'Ne' won't be bad. Keep this." She tossed Naruto her mask. "Just in case you need to use them."

"I won't use them like they aren't human," Naruko replied firmly.

"No, I suppose not," Tsunade smiled. "But as head of 'Ne', you're welcome to the council meeting as Kitsune."

Naruko bowed.

~"~

"Tragically, a fire was started in Shimura Danzou's home. He died as a result." Tsunade slammed down the files pertaining to Danzou's treachery. "Also unfortunately, Danzou was a traitor. His list of crimes include deploying some of his secret 'Ne' force to kill the Uzushiogakure ambassadors, and conspiring with my old teammate, Orochimaru. The leadership of 'Ne' falls to ANBU agent Kitsune."

Kitsune appeared, bowing to Tsunade. "Tsunade-sama."

"Who, as you see, is loyal to the Hokage. No longer will I tolerate this group executing missions in the shadows. The 'Ne' group will be inducted into the regular ANBU. Kitsune, you may go."

Kitsune vanished.

"As for two more things." Tsunade coughed. "Uzumaki Naruto."

Naruko entered through the doors, tripping in.

"Uzumaki Naruto. As Hokage, I grant you the power to sit on the council as Uzumaki clan head."

Naruko blinked. "Eh?!" she screeched. "Are you serious, -ttebayo?!"

"Tsunade-sama, she has to be a chuunin or higher in order to become a council member," Shikaku said.

"Also, you're a chuunin," Tsunade said to Naruko.

"Yatta!" Naruto fistpumped. "Do I sit?"

"Yep," Tsunade grinned. "I only have one thing to address. Sabaku no Gaara, Takeshi Fuu, and the former Mizukage Yagura have asked to join your clan. How do you respond?"

"That's not right!" Haruno Mebuki called angrily. "That clan was renowned for their Sealing prowess, their longevity-should they be renowned for their monsters, as well?!"

"Unlike you, Haruno-san, I do not act like the holders of Bijuu are monsters." Naruko's voice was deadly soft. Everyone turned to her. "I will not use them for politics. No-one in this room may come to me asking for marriage contracts for any of my clan." Her eyes flashed. "And, Tsunade-sama, I accept."

~:~

"Ah, living like a hermit is so nice…" Naruto sighed. "It feels so nice!"

One week and they'd finally gotten to Jiraiya's house. It was simple and surrounded by edible plants.

They'd jumped into training. Jiraiya, however, was gone for about a week. A bird had arrived, and Jiraiya had been gone. Naruto, Utakata, and Hotaru didn't mind.

"Hey, Naruto, do you know how to cook?" Hotaru asked eagerly.

"Not much, but I can make salad!" Naruto smiled. "And rice. And noodles."

"I'm kind of rice-d out," Utakata groaned. They had been eating rice  _every day_  because that was the only thing in the house.

"Then I'll make noodles!" Naruto smiled, pleased.

"Okay," Hotaru agreed. "But what should we do now?"

"Garden? I noticed a lot of weeds around the house," Naruto suggested hopefully. "Plus, we can bond, -ttebayo. Jiraiya-sensei would be happy."

~"~

"My name's Uzumaki Naruto," Naruto re-introduced to Utakata and Hotaru. "Head of the Uzumaki Clan and holder of the Kyuubi no Youko. Jiraiya became my sensei after I used my sexy jutsu on the closet perv teacher named Ebisu. I love ramen, and I work as a prostitute in the Red Light District. As it's clear, I'm an orphan." Naruto looked at a surprised Utakata, who quickly recovered.

"I am Utakata, without a surname," he said quietly. "I have affiliated myself with the Tsuchigumo Clan, and most recently the Uzumaki Clan, and I am the holder of the Rokubi. I used to be a missing-nin of Kirigakure no Sato until I was saved by Tsuchigumo Hotaru and Tonbee and met Uzumaki Naruto. I became a missing-nin after my master, Harusume, tried to extract the Rokubi from me. Jiraiya became my sensei after three S-Class missing-nin appeared because they thought I bought condoms and not pads. I do not work. I am an orphan as well."

Naruto and Utakata looked at Hotaru.

"I'm Tsuchigumo Hotaru, heiress of the Tsuchigumo Clan. I am affiliated with the Uzumaki Clan, and I hold something that can destroy a single village in one wave." Hotaru took a deep breath. "I am not employed. Jiraiya became my sensei when three missing-nin came over because of a misunderstanding with Utakata and pads. I consider Tonbee my father."

Naruto clapped her hands together. "Now that's over with! Wasn't too painful, -ttebayo! Here's a trowel!"

She handed Utakata and Hotaru a trowel. Violet and Shisui were lazing about on the porch of the house.

They worked in silence for a few minutes.

"Naruto, were you being serious about working as a prostitute?" Utakata queried. Hotaru kept silent, wanting to hear Naruto's response.

"Yeah." Naruto's reply was soft. "I was a thief before, and studying seals and going to the Academy. My weekly paycheck I got from Jiji didn't cut it, so I had to learn the streets. Being a prostitute meant I could get money in return for selling my body—and it sucked sometimes." Naruto brushed away dirt from the flowers and began digging. "I suppose I'm married now, too, so that means that I personally will not go, just one of my bunshins. I split my paycheck between myself and the orphans I lived near."

Hotaru spoke. "That's nice of you." They cleared the weeds in companionable silence for a few minutes. Then, "Why do you like ramen?"

Naruto smiled. "It's the food of the gods, that's why!" she chuckled. Utakata chuckled with her. "No, in all seriousness, I think all full-blooded Uzumaki people have a craving. Kaa-san did, I think. I only met her once because of a definitely-forbidden jutsu that was used. Let's tell each other our likes, dislikes, and dream for the future!" Naruto suddenly proposed.

Hotaru smiled. "Can I go first?" she hesitantly asked.

Naruto nodded energetically.

"Well, I like…" Hotaru sighed. "I'm not sure what I like. What I dislike…rice." Naruto and Utakata made noises of agreement. "My dream for the future is to properly control the weapon of my clan."

Naruto glanced at Utakata.

He got the hint. "I like people who are like me." He glanced at Naruto. "I dislike rice and morons." Naruto chuckled. "And my dream is to one day live in a world where peace is real, not just an illusion."

Naruto beamed. "I like ramen!" she announced happily. "I also like gardening. Eto…I like singing a little bit, but I'm not awesome at it, and I like learning jutsus to protect my precious people." She continued working the earth. "My dream for the future is to make the Uzumaki Clan a great clan again, for people like us with what others would call burdens to have a safe haven…and to protect my precious people, as well as to create peace. I suppose it's unrealistic, but I have a bunch of people I want to protect."

"That's a lengthy list," Utakata commented.

"Naruto, what are precious people?" Hotaru sounded confused.

"People…who are everything to you," Naruto answered after a minute of silence. "People who you love. People who you want to protect with every fiber of your being."

"Is…is Konoha full of precious people to you?" Utakata asked seriously.

"Yes," Naruto said assuredly. "Yes, Konoha is full of precious people."


	48. Stupid Stuff

Months flew by. In Konoha, Naruko and Shikamaru got to know each other more, and Naruko engaged heavily in politics and medicine. With Utakata and Hotaru and Jiraiya, Naruto learned jutsus.

It was a shining day. Everything was right.

But it wasn't.

Utakata and Hotaru had been taken somewhere by Jiraiya, and Naruto was left alone.

It was also her birthday.

Naruto took a deep breath. Utakata and Hotaru didn't know she was fourteen. She took off her  _henge_ , which had been switched to her necklace with two crystals. Kurama had told her Itachi had put the second crystal on her neck, but Kurama hadn't switched the  _henge_  until after Itachi had replaced it on her neck.

Naruto sighed.  _Itachi, why are you on my mind so much?_  She questioned herself. She wandered through the house, spotting the red plant that was like the color of his Sharing-

"AH! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" She yelled, slamming her head onto the wall angrily. She regretted it, because pain blossomed through her skull.

Which reminded her of Shisui.

_"_ _Hey, you okay, Naru?" Shisui knelt in front of her. She'd literally walked into a pole because she hadn't been paying attention._

_"_ _Ah! Shisui-nii!" she hugged him._

_Shisui chuckled. "Let's go get you checked out at my place, hmm?"_

_Naruto frowned. She wasn't sure if his parents would like her._

_"_ _I'm an orphan, just so you know," Shisui said, interpreting her look for what it was. "I never knew my parents…-ttebayo," he smirked at her._

_She went pink. "Sorry," she mumbled, then she frowned at him. "That's_ my _verbal tic, Shisui-nii!"_

_Shisui patted her head, completely forgetting that Naruto had hit the pole._

_"_ _Ow!"_

_"_ _Oops, I forgot," he said sheepishly. "Come on. I'll sneak you into the Uchiha district and you can rest up there."_

_"_ _There isn't really a need, given the fact I…" Naruto hesitated, then she sighed. "Alright, fine."_

_Shisui picked her up._

_"_ _I'm lucky I was able to clock out of ninja duty today!" Shisui smiled as he slipped into the Uchiha compound and got to his hous without anyone stopping him. "Not even Itachi coming here to ruin my day would ruin my day-"_

_He opened the door and stared at the man who wore a mask in the room._

_"_ _Er…Itachi…whatcha doing here?" Shisui said nervously._

_"_ _You forgot that you weren't off duty until…Shisui, why is she here?"_

_Naruto peeked around Shisui's leg, giving Itachi an adorable look._

_"_ _I think…the villagers gave her a concussion!" Shisui blurted. "So I decided to do what civilians would do and watch her! Plus, she's trustworthy. She and I did this awesome prank the other day..." Shisui trailed off for a second, obviously recalling that Itachi had been caught in that prank. "Uh, well, she's really trustworthy! You can trust me!"_

_His teeth glinted, and the masked man seemed to recoil._

_"_ _I'll watch her, just go finish your shift." Shisui sulked as he walked away, and Naruto shifted uneasily. Itachi sighed and took his mask off. "Promise to never reveal my identity behind this mask?"_

_"_ _Promise," Naruto whispered shyly. "Eto…can I sit?" She gestured to the couch._

_"_ _Of course. Would you like a book?" Itachi went to go into the library, but paused. Naruto shifted uneasily._

_"_ _I don't know how to read," she admitted._

_Itachi stared at her for a minute. "Well, I suppose I can teach you," he said._

"SON OF A BI-" Naruto cut herself off and gave an inaudible scream. "I WANT TO STOP THINKING ABOUT YOU, YOU DAMN UCHIHA!" She kicked the hard wall, and screamed in pain. "MOTHER-!"

She heard a tap. Naruto blinked, then hurriedly went to her room, putting her necklace on before walking into the living room, where not a soul stood. A crow held a package, and Naruto sighed.

Seriously?

Kurama laughed at her misfortune.

**Seriously, you're infatuated with that Uchiha male,**  he said.  **Perhaps he would make a great mate…if he didn't have the Sharingan.**

_Kurama, I swear to you that I will end you if you say anything to him!_ Naruto thought fiercely as she opened the package. Fourteen kunai lay in the package, no note.

Naruto smiled to herself. Then she stopped.

"…damn it all! I KEEP THINKING ABOUT HIM!"

~"~

When Jiraiya, Utakata, and Hotaru entered the house with several items to give to Naruto, they didn't expect to see her drunk.

"Oh, heeey," she said upon seeing them. "Jiraiya-senseeeiii! I'm so sorry!" she began to bawl as she hugged Utakata, who looked uncomfortable. "I think I like a few people…" her face was already pink from the sake she'd drank. "I need to get him out of my head!"

"Uh…Naruto?" Utakata asked as Naruto licked his ear.

"Hmm?" the drunk girl asked, nimbly backflipping away from Utakata to the sake bottles she'd been drinking from. "Kyuu and I are playing strip poker, -ttebayo!"

"But he's not out here," Hotaru pointed out.

Naruto gave her a nasty look. "Mindscape. Do you like girls or boys?"

Hotaru went a firey red. "Um…" Naruto closed her eyes and seemed to ignore the world around them.

"So she's not really drunk outside of her body," Jiraiya said, rubbing his chin.

"What?" Hotaru blinked.

"I assume that's only her fourth bottle," Utakata said, taking a sniff. Like the other jinchuuriki, he had a sensitive nose thanks to Saiken. "The other bottles must've spilt. It must be in her mindscape that she and Kyuubi are getting drunk."

"Mindscape?" Hotaru tilted her head.

"Yeah," Utakata replied. "Jinchuuriki are able to access their own mindscape to speak with their prisoner." Utakata set the set of chopsticks with bells on the end of them on the table. He noticed a rather large dent in the wall.

He frowned.  _Saiken, do you know why she did this?_

**Kurama says it's because she keeps thinking about the Uchiha male,**  Saiken replied with a snicker.  **It's rather funny, actually-she tried to do** ** _anything_** **to stop thinking about him.**  An image appeared in Utakata's eye as he saw-from Kurama's viewpoint-Naruto slam her head into the wall, creating that dent.

Utakata smirked. "Doing stupid crap seems to remind her of Itachi."

Hotaru chuckled. Jiraiya only smiled.


	49. Time Travel

"I'm sending you four on a mission," Tsunade said, looking at Kakashi, Sai (a former 'Ne' member), Sakura, and Yamato. Naruko was resting on one of her rare days off, so she was most likely still asleep. "You'll be meeting up with Jiraiya and two of his pupils." She'd sent the mission to them. "They will help you stop the puppeteer. And do  _not_  mention this to Naruko, got it?"

"Hai!" the four saluted, then vanished.

~:~

A very drunk Naruto, Utakata, and Jiraiya set out two days later. Naruto was actually a bit more tolerable when drunk…well, if you counted her less-than-constant chatter whenever she went to play a game with the Kyuubi  _tolerable,_  then yes, she was tolerable.

Hotaru had declined to go, saying she was better off staying at the house.

"It will give me some time to think," she explained.

Utakata sighed as Naruto went back into her mindscape. "I bet he's enjoying Naruto's company," he said. "Who's the guy we have to arrest with the Konoha team?"

"A puppet-user named Mukade. He's not as good as Akasuna no Sasori, but he  _is_  a pretty good puppet-master. I recall something Minato said about a Mukade, but I highly doubt it's the same guy," Jiraiya explained. "And this is a pretty routine mission. Tsunade-hime asked me to go as a favor."

"Does this mean you'll ask her for a date afterwards?" Utakata asked, recalling Naruto muttering something about Jiraiya desperate to date Tsunade.

Jiraiya sent him a crooked grin. "She'll turn me down, but oh, well." Jiraiya and Utakata went on in silence.

~:~

One day later, they got to the meeting point. Naruto was even drunker than before.

Utakata privately thought it was a bad idea to let Naruto on the job while drunk, but it was too late to go back.

"Jiraiya-sama," a voice asked, Utakata not moving an inch. Naruto giggled.

"It's Kaka-sensei! Hellooo!" Naruto threw a stick in the general direction of the man called Kakashi.

"Naruto," a pink-haired teen said, scrutinizing her. "You…look different."

"I know! It's great!" Naruto beamed.

"Uh…not to judge, Jiraiya-sama, but are you sure you want to take her?" questioned the one with dark eyes.

"Ooh~ Naruto said, walking up to him and putting a hand on his chest. "You can take me  _anyday!"_

Utakata put her in a bubble he blew from his pipe.

"She'll be no trouble. She's mind-drunk," Utakata said. "I am Utakata." He bowed formally. The pale guy looked at Naruto with a frown.

"Mind-drunk?" the white-haired man said, frowning. "Never heard of that."

"It only affects those with great control over their mindscape. I think that when things get serious, the Kyuubi will clear her head," Utakata assured them. "Jiraiya-sensei, should we leave?"

"Yep. You can use your bubbles, in case Mukade is tracking us." Utakata summoned the bubble that already had Naruto in it and stepped into it. Only a little chakra made this bubble that big, and Utakata lessened the stream. The bubble became bigger. The only thing keeping it from popping was the very tiny amount of chakra being poured into it.

~"~

Mukade wanted the power of the city Rouran. He would do anything to take it.

Including unleash the power of the Ryuumyaku, a ley line of pure chakra.

He glared at the other shinobi, finding them all rather idiotic.

Especially the blonde.

The blonde looked drunk, which was an insult to Mukade.

He took out the kunai.

~:~

Naruto thought everything was rather hazy as she woke up, to look into blue eyes as blue as her own.

She sat up as the shinobi moved away.

"What?" she found everything rather…odd. "Utakata?"

The motionless blue-clothed figure made Naruto shake her head in an effort to curb the killer headache she now had. She looked at her surroundings. "Jiraiya-sensei!" She looked around for a minute, then stopped. Her head again whipped around.

Her kikaichu pulsed, and Naruto's lips came up in a smile even as her eyes watered.

"Tou-san!" she hugged the Aburame man tightly. He stiffened.

"Naruto." Jiraiya's voice made her stop and leap backwards. "It seems we've landed in the past."

"Jiraiya-sensei," Namikaze Minato said, puzzled. "What are you talking about?"

Naruto coughed. "My head is killing me," she moaned, holding it.

"Idiot," Utakata mumbled.

"Yo!"

Naruto looked to see Kakashi holding a lady, climbing in with Yamato behind him. He took stock of the situation and hummed.

"Looks like we've travelled in time," he said. The mini-Kakashi stared in utter shock as Kakashi set the princess down and pulled out a familiar orange book.

"Why did you bring me here?" the shrill-voiced lady asked in anger. "How dare you! I am the queen! And you!" Naruto blinked at her as an accusatory finger was pointed at her. "Why did you slap me?!"

Naruto tilted her head. "When?" she asked blankly.

"My student was most likely hungover," Jiraiya interrupted. "She's a lightweight."

Naruto saw utter confusion pass over her face. "You're a  _girl?"_

Naruto just clapped her hands over her ears, wishing she could just kill herself. Or cut her ears off. Maybe permanently damage them!

She didn't care about this conversation about Mukade-whoever that was-she just wanted them to  _shut up._

"Will you all shut up?!" Naruto finally barked. "Or give me some damn earplugs!" Kakashi chuckled.

"You shouldn't have gotten drunk with your prisoner!"

Naruto lunged at him. Utakata grabbed her collar.

"Naruto, he's right."

"Oh, go fuck yourself!" Naruto growled at him.

"Just listen to the leaf ninja," Utakata persisted.

Meanwhile, the princess was insisting Mukade was a good man.

"His name isn't Mukade! His name is Anrokuzan!" she said, glaring. "And I slipped!"

"Sure," older Kakashi smiled as he settled against a pillar. "And my team here is actually a bunch of  _henge_ 'd daisies."

Naruto groaned, sitting on the ground and cradling her head.

"So I suppose I was wrong," Jiraiya said, putting a hand on his chin. "It seems Mukade  _is_  the same person Minato told me about. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I just completed the Rasengan, correct?"

Minato nodded.

"Hold on," older Kakashi piped up. "If I was here, why don't I remember me being here?" So he did remember it…time stuff was  _complicated!_

Naruto scowled as she massaged her head. "I had to read about basic time-space theories," Naruto said in a whisper, causing everyone to lean forward to hear her, "and if you were here, Kakashi, both future _and_  past selves, then the mind will accept the most logical reason. And the most logical reason? To younger-Kakashi, you  _weren't_ here at that point in time. Younger-Kakashi fits in different events, and to him it's all real. I bet when we leave, it would have been Yamato who saved this princess." She winced as the princess spoke.

"That's ridiculous! Absolutely idiotic! Anrokuzan wouldn't…" the princess shook her head and shoved past the two groups of ninja.

"You're actually smart!" Yamato blinked. Naruto  _growled_  at Yamato.

"I'm not having a good day," she gritted out. "I have this  _killer_ headache right now because the baka kitsune isn't healing my head, the sun's shining in my eyes, and nobody will  _shut the fuck up!_ Adding your smartass comments to the mix will not end well for you."

There was a silence.

"Who are you guys?" Mini-Kakashi asked with wide eyes.

"Uzumaki Naruto, Tsuchigumo Utakata, Jiraiya the Pervert, Yamato the House Maker, and Hatake Kakashi the porn reader," Naruto said in a fake nice voice. "And you would be Namikaze Minato, Aburame Shiki, Akimichi Chouza, and Mini-Hatake Kakashi-the-porn-reader. Happy?"

Kakashi glared. "Icha Icha is brilliant!"

"It lacks plot," Naruto said dryly. "And the cliché of loud sex is overused and pointless, really. It's just a guy having multiple one-night stands until he finds 'the one', who usually is a brown-eyed, blonde lady with large breasts." Naruto didn't care that she was getting looks for knowing the basic ideas of Jiraiya's porn novel. "Personally, I liked the 'Tale of the Utterly Gutsy Shinobi'. It was far more tasteful, and my name came from it, -ttebayo. Anyway, we should catch up to Loud-Mouth-hime."

Naruto was gone, Utakata following seconds behind her.

Kakashi glanced at Minato. "Sensei." He nodded and gave a peace sign. "We won't get in your way."

He, too, vanished, Yamato right behind him.

Jiraiya was the last one. He gave his old student a nostalgic smile. "They grow up too fast," he sighed.

"Who do?" Minato asked.

"Kids," Jiraiya replied. "Especially when you aren't there to witness their life."

He turned away.

"Who is she, sensei?" Minato asked, sounding lost.

Jiraiya turned and smirked at his former student. "You'll see," he replied with a grin.

It would be interesting to see Naruto prove who her father was…even if she was grumpy.


	50. Idiots Don't Know When to Be Quiet

"Are you okay?" she asked the princess. "Sorry if I was a little grumpy back there. My headache's died down, though." She sat next to her. "I know it's a little hard for you to understand time travel stuff. It's a bit difficult for me to understand, myself." She was partly lying. She'd read theories upon theories of time travel before she'd tried tackling fuuinjutsu. Time-space manipulation  _was_  one of the many uses of fuuinjutsu.

"I just…why do you think Anrokuzan is the missing shinobi? He came six years ago." Naruto frowned.

_Six years ago? Maybe it was the blast radius? Kaka-sensei, Yamato, Jiraiya, Utakata and I were all standing about equal distance from Mukade. Perhaps it was the fact that he was standing right there, on top of the Ryuumyaku?_ "Time is a fragile thing," Naruto said hesitantly. "But…if this Anrokuzan is the right one, then he is the missing-nin Mukade. If we are wrong, I promise we shall leave."

The princess sighed. "I suppose time travel is a norm in shinobi ways?" she asked in an unsure voice.

Naruto winced. "No, actually. Time travel to this extent is pretty flippin' unusual." The princess blinked. "I'm from the future. Two of my four parents are here, with the younger-than-me version of my first sensei. I don't think Utakata or I have been born yet, and Yamato's a guy who is currently…well, I actually don't know where he is right now, but it's not anywhere good." Naruto sighed. "I suppose I'm trying to make you feel a little better. Will you help us?"

The princess sighed. "Very well. What's your name?"

Naruto smiled. "Uzumaki Naruto. Yours?"

"Saara," she replied, smiling.

"That's a cool name! It's like  _Gaara,"_ Naruto beamed.

Saara rolled her eyes. "Come on, let's get this done."

~:~

"Tell me the ninja are wrong," Saara pleaded with her mother's advisor, who smirked at her. She felt Naruto's hidden presence and was definitely reassured. "Tell me that you are not this Mukade, Anrokuzan."

Anrokuzan turned away.

"It took you long enough to learn," his oily voice said. "Those idiotic ninja know nothing about the power of the Ryuumyaku-"

"And you're a dumbass to think that the Ryuumyaku didn't pull us out of our time," Naruto said, her voice hard and angry. "Well, those of us who were closest."

Saara looked at the teen. When she'd first seen Naruto, she'd seen her unconscious in the middle of the place where the Ryuumyaku's central room was. Saara had started to sing, and the next minute there was a stinging sensation on her face.

Saara had seen the girl-who at the time looked like a guy-standing above her with closed eyes, then the ninja had  _vanished._

Seeing the ninja with a definitively feminine voice had made her think that he was a gender-confused person until she'd irritably remarked she was a female.

Saara hid behind the sturdy female ninja.

"You! You  _idiotic_  female will ruin  _everything!"_

Saara felt anger well up in her.

"Are you a sexist ninja?" Naruto asked, sounding blank. Saara peeked over to look at Naruto's face. The only thing that showed she was ticked off was the jaw-ticking. And the shadowed eyes.

Yeah, that was creepy.

"There aren't any female missing-nin in this time," Anrokuzan-no, Mukade-said. Naruto said nothing. Something seemed to fill the air. "And if what you're saying is true…then that annoying pinkette didn't get pulled out of time, meaning you're the only useless female in the group."

Oh, that guy was so dead.

"Guess what?" Naruto's voice was perky as she took out a scroll. "I stole this scythe from someone. I can't break it. So…what the hell? I'll  _use it to end your existence!"_

Naruto whipped out a gleaming red scythe.

~:~

FUTURE-WITH THE AKATSUKI

"Seriously, where is that damn jinchuuriki that has my blade?!" yelled Hidan in a sudden fit of rage. "It's been almost a fucking year since I last saw it!"

Hidan sulked again for a minute, then stiffened.

The Jashin worshipper had a connection with his scythe, and it was being used.

Hidan pouted.

It was not in this time. Damn.

~:~

The scythe itself was alive…in a way. It fed itself on the blood of whoever bled on it.

But it knew that it was not in the hands of its natural owner, and this person had tried to break it. Multiple times.

So it resisted. Until a dark voice, filled with eons longer than the scythe had existed, spoke to it.

**Work for the current wielder, and they'll stop trying to break you…or I will** **_make_ ** **you break.**

This was not the scythe's precious Jashin-sama. That was the voice of the Shinigami.

So, scared, the scythe stopped resisting.

~:~

Naruto lunged, scoring a hit…only to growl as Mukade transformed.

"Saara. Get one of them to take you to safety. The villagers are under the city…or, most of them are," Naruto added in a thick voice as her rage and fangs distorted her speaking.

"Right!" Saara nodded, dashing out.

Mukade took advantage of her distraction and thrust one of his wooden legs forward.

Naruto stopped it with the scythe, but knew that she wouldn't be able to defeat the creature on her own.

She resealed the scythe away, and Kurama sighed.

**Fine. Let's go into one-tailed mode, though with no actual tail.**

_Yeah, yeah._  Naruto stood there, eyes once again shadowed, letting the wooden leg get closer until she stopped it with a hand.

She grinned.


	51. Fighting the Puppet

Mukade was not one to fear women. But this girl stopped one of his legs… and her  _fangs_  disturbed him. They didn't seem as prominent until now.

She looked up at Mukade, and Mukade stared at her.

Her eyes were a ruby red, gleaming with  _madness._

She threw the leg back.

The other ninjas appeared. The female straightened. Her face returned to a semi-normal visage.

She didn't want them to see!

Mukade chuckled. "Have you not told them?" he chuckled. "What a  _monster_ you are?"

The one dressed in blue seemed to freeze, his eyes widening.

But the female only smiled. "Oh,  _Mukade,"_  she said in a mocking voice. "Seen yourself in the mirror?"

Mukade growled and attacked.

A bubble sidetracked him as it floated up. Then… "Katsu."

Mukade was thrown out of the side of the building by the force of the explosion.

"Katon: Great Fireball Jutsu!"

He avoided the fireball.

This would be a difficult fight.

~:~

Utakata gazed at Naruto after she used the Katon jutsu.

"You alright?" he asked her.

"He's just a teme," she said in a forced lighthearted tone. She raised her arms, and kikaichu flooded out of them. "C'mon!" She jumped, Utakata right behind her, making handsigns for a suiton jutsu.

"Suiton: Raging waters!" Water poured out of his mouth. The jinchuuriki of the Rokubi also communicated with Saiken.

_Lend me some chakra?_

**Sure. Kinda surprised you asked.**

Chakra flooded Utakata's system, and he could sense Naruto changing back into her version.

Both jinchuuriki slammed onto the ground, creating craters. Rubble exploded from where they stood.

"Call her a monster again," Utakata growled. "I  _dare_  you, you ass."

"You two are both monsters!" claimed the man-no, he was no longer a man. No longer  _human._

"Yep," Naruto said, grinning rather disturbingly. "But there's a difference between you and I. I didn't choose this; but I would no longer change it if I had the choice." Naruto cracked her knuckles. "Now, be a good puppet and stay still." A bunshin appeared, and it formed the Rasengan in Naruto's palm. She launched herself too fast for even  _Utakata_  to see, and all jinchuuriki had-when enhanced with their bijuu's power-eyesight comparable to the Sharingan, which Saiken said Kurama hated with a passion.

Or just plain hated; Kurama mostly held a deep mistrust against Uchiha, Uchiha Madara in particular.

Naruto held the most powerful of the bijuu, as was seen by the fact that only an Uzumaki from the main line could hold a bijuu.

Utakata watched as Mukade exploded, but it didn't seem to deter him as he reformed.

From  _rubble._

Utakata knew puppet types; they used chakra strings.  _Saiken. I need to borrow your eyes._

**Okay.**  Utakata's eyes became like Naruto's Kyuubi-fied eyes, only with one major difference: they were a light purple. And instead of seeing just everything slower, he could see what the Byakugan could… with the exception of the whole 360 degrees-with-one-blindspot-and-everything's-super-bright. His eyes could see chakra and chakra coils.

His eyes turned from Naruto to look up. Hundreds upon hundreds of chakra strings layered everything, leading to one chakra string that connected to the tube that, in turn, connected to the Ryuumyaku tower. Purple chakra raced through it; it was clear that this was the Ryuumyaku's power.

Utakata leapt up. His fingernails lengthened to a degree (nowhere near as sharp as Matatabi's jinchuuriki or Kurama's host, Naruto), but sharp enough to sever the chakra strings.

~:~

"Interesting company you keep, Jiraiya-sama," Aburame Shiki said in the usual Aburame monotone.

"They're amazing," younger-Kakashi said, his eye mostly on Naruto.

Jiraiya hid a smirk as older-Kakashi's face flamed.

Yamato watched with an open mouth. "This is… I thought Naruto was a medic! A  _calmer_  person!"

Jiraiya hummed. "You actually probably only know Naruto's blood clone," he informed Yamato. But then he paused. "Actually, scratch that. You know Naruto, just not the face she presents to everyone around her."

"Is she an orphan?" Minato asked after a quiet minute. Utakata leapt into the air.

Jiraiya looked at Minato and Shiki.

"Both pairs of her parents died saving their village."

Minato's eyes dimmed.

"Though her first pair of parents did get to meet her when she was thirteen." Jiraiya smiled again. "I don't even know what summoned them from beyond the grave. History can't be changed, so that's all I'll tell you. Have you read any of my books?" she asked Minato, changing the subject immediately.

"No… Kushina would slaughter me if I read any of your porn novels!"

"Yeah, and if she were still alive, she'd slaughter  _me…_ " muttered Kakashi under his breath. Younger-Kakashi didn't react, though Jiraiya had a sneaking suspicion he heard.

"I was talking about one of my lesser-known works," Jiraiya responded with a mental laugh. "Tale of the Utterly Gutsy Shinobi. Ask me for a signed copy of it. Promise me that you'll name your kid after the main character."

Jiraiya just  _loved_  how much he was screwing with his goddaughter's life.

"I promise," Minato replied. He looked back to the battle. "Do you think we should help them?" he questioned.

"Yeah," Jiraiya nodded. "Mostly because he's going after the Ryuumyaku."

~:~

Naruto watched as the man's chakra replenished, her kikaichu lazily returning to her body. They'd fed on a little too much chakra.

What she wouldn't give to have Shisui or Violet! But they were probably back with Hotaru… wherever Hotaru was.

She scowled. "Mokuton: Ki Torrapu!" A wooden trap caged the puppet. But seconds later, they burst outward, the sheer force of the puppet breaking through it.

Pain laced her body, and Kurama swore in her mind.

**You need to rest!**

"Utakata!" Utakata was by her side within a second. "I need a moment to rest. Kyuu-"

"I know his name," Utakata interrupted. "Saiken told me. Is the chakra damaging your organs?"

"Hai. I need to rest for a minute." Naruto took a deep breath and coughed. She covered her mouth, but nothing came out.

Utakata nodded.

Naruto sat down for a second.

**I'm glad you listened.**

_So am I,_  Naruto winced as another wave of pain exploded through her body.

**Sorry,**  the Kyuubi whispered.  **Just healing the damage fast.**

_Have I ever thanked you for doing that?_

**Plenty of times.**

_Thank you, Kurama._

A few minutes and about five spasms of pain later, Naruto was ready. She inhaled, feeling Kurama's chakra taint her own chakra.

She exploded into action.

"Kuchiyose!" Jiraiya's shout summoned Gamabunta. Gamabunta got down to business. Naruto leapt off his head and stood next to her fathers - Minato, who created a  _green_  Rasengan (which Naruto would fawn over later. Her favorite color was still orange, but she also liked the color green), and Shiki, whose kikaichu covered the puppet-man-Chouza, who expanded his hands and slammed them down on the puppet-man like Chouji did when he used his clan's jutsu-and Utakata, who took his own weapon and created bubbles to explode in Mukade's face.

Naruto powered her own Rasengan, but before she could slam it into his face, Naruto was surrounded by chakra-stealing pieces of unfinished armor.

It was being sucked out of her at an alarming rate. She couldn't think - couldn't call on Kurama. Her body  _relied_ on chakra.


	52. Making the Future Certain

In Konoha, Naruko was sharing a dinner with Kiba, who Shikamaru had sent in his place, at the best dango place in town.

Naruko grinned at the joke Kiba told. But then she stopped and shuddered, feeling cold all of a sudden.

"Naruko, are you okay?"

Naruko couldn't speak.

~:~

In the Pure World, there were several gods who bowed before Kami. Among those were two who had an interest in the life of one Uzumaki Naruto.

Inari, an androgynous fox god that loved the Uzumakis for a lot of things (especially for their penchant for mischief), had once possessed Uzumaki Naruto. It was because Naruto was facing off against another possible Champion named Uzumaki Nagato-and Inari honestly couldn't bear to have the remnants of a once-great clan fight.

Plus, Kami-sama wanted them alive for some reason, so Inari never planned to let Nagato die.

Inari also happened to have created the Ryuumyaku, and planned to let it die anyway (Inari liked to travel to possible times for the shinobi world. Plus, Mahâkâla [the god of time] was more than happy to let Inari meddle if it fit. Nobody seemed to appreciate  _him_  anymore, so he could go down and pretend to be a mortal all he wanted), because it did not fit in the world.

But Inari had to make it seem natural. So Inari went to the Shinigami, the only one among the Minors that truly cared about the Uzumaki family.

Well, Inari wouldn't say the Shinigami  _cared;_  rather, he was  _interested_ in the Uzumaki clan. And his interest applied to this child with the air of the Rikudo Sennin's idiot son about her; enough interest to let Namikaze Minato out of his stomach and summoning both him and Uzumaki Kushina-plus switching Senju Hashirama and Senju Tobirama's directions to attack as Orochimaru's mind slaves and enslave them to  _stopping_  the snake freak.

(Yes, even in the Pure World Orochimaru was a snake freak. Spitting yourself out of yourself?  _EW!_ )

_I need help,_  Inari told the Shinigami.  _I need to make the Ryuumyaku die. The ley line of chakra must be destroyed._

_I cannot help with much,_  the Shinigami replied.  _But this Mukade has tried to evade my grasp for too long; he should have died before he opened the Ryuumyaku. Plus, that Uzumaki child interests me._

Inari grinned.  _So what should I do?_

_Kami-sama didn't mind you possessing the girl before, right? So long as you do not say your name, I do not think Kami-sama would mind much. Just don't add another tail!_

_But that will store her chakra when she gets her blood-clone from the toads! Plus, I think Kami-sama has an interest in keeping the Uzumaki girl alive. The last time I tried to peek at her future, Kami-sama stopped me._ Inari pouted.

_Then don't peek in her future,_  the Shinigami replied as though it were obvious.  _If you must give her another tail, then do so. But use_ her _power; that fox has given her enough lessons in fighting like her kitsune will once her kitsune reaches fifty._

_Thank you, Shinigami._  And with that, Inari once more descended.

~:~

Naruto felt that  _person_  again. It entered her, settling comfortably.

As though it knew it was going to be welcome afterwards.

_You're very smug._

_Is that any way to speak to the one saving your life?_  The  _person_  chuckled. Chakra whipped out of Naruto and the thing crumbled. Naruto's body took a gasp.  _I almost forgot that humans needed to breathe,_  the  _person_  commented idly.  _Just so you're informed, you're getting another tail later!_

_NANI?!_

_Hush. Busy!_

Utakata stared at her in shock.

~:~

Utakata could see Naruto's chakra changing. Well, a few parts-the parts that had been a deep-almost-purple. Now? They were  _all_  purple. Her chakra had a mix of colors in it. It mixed beautifully with the silver, red, green, light blue, and yellow colors, but still.

People's chakra didn't normally change color in a couple of seconds.

"Sorry for the scare," 'Naruto' said in a light tone. "C'mon, old man, let's kick this guy's ass!" She smiled cheerfully at Minato, who smiled unsurely back.

Two Rasengans were made and put together.

"Oodama Rasengan!" It smashed through Mukade. "Now, Shiki! Chouza!"

They followed her instructions. Kikaichu flooded the air as Shiki used his bugs to eat away at the chakra, and Chouza held the puppet-man down.

Utakata briefly thought of how sad it was that the city was already in ruins, but then 'Naruto' turned to him. "Utakata! Destroy the strings! Jiraiya, Gamabunta! Crush the guy's shell! Yamato! After he's done that, create a trap like I did! I'll reinforce it! Kakashi and Kakashi…oh, younger-Kakashi must've gone to help Saara. Then, older Kakashi! Read your porn if you want, I have nothing for you to do!"

"Hai!" everyone shouted.

"What about me?"

"Just sit there and look gorgeous!" And that was the final straw-not even a prostitute would mention- "Because I'm sure that's what you do whenever you're with the scary lady!"

"You're not Naruto, are you?" Utakata asked after he destroyed the strings.

'Naruto' smiled as her hands flashed in the signs for  _Mokuton._  "It's a secret, Utakata-san," she winked elaborately. Wood extended from her hands, slipping into Yamato's wood and augmenting the strength, allowing Chouza to let go. Half of Shiki's kikaichu went back bloated with too much chakra. Gamabunta left after seeing he was no longer needed.

"One more Oodama Rasengan!" 'Naruto' barked. She created a Rasengan without needing a bunshin.

Minato created another Rasengan, stretching his chakra reserves.

Together, they made Mukade disappear-disintegrating the puppet utterly.

Rather anticlimactic, when Utakata thought about it.

"Sensei!" Younger Kakashi raced forward, brushing Older Kakashi. Younger Kakashi blinked.

Utakata blinked, too, when 'Naruto' smirked.

"Now he won't remember Older Kakashi," she whispered to Utakata. "We of the future should be leaving." She made her way towards the Ryuumyaku.

"I'll seal it," Minato offered.

"Oh, yeah," 'Naruto' said out loud. "It has to be like that because you sealed it…which made Mukade unseal it and bring us all here." 'Naruto' looked like she was happy.

~:~

"I'm happy to have seen you…Shiki, Minato." 'Naruto smiled as Minato sealed the Ryuumyaku.

They began to glow white, returning to their time.

"Shiki, when you hear of an orphan's plight from Kahara, you'll adopt her because you won't have any children!" It was  _Naruto,_  and not the  _person_  inside, that blurted this out. "Thank you, Minato…for showing me some of your awesome skills!"

"Naruto," Minato said, standing and setting an arm on her shoulder. "If you  _are_  my daughter, I am proud to be called your father."

"Remember about that book, boy!" Jiraiya ordered. "Also, mention Mukade a couple of times around me. Just don't mention anything to Kushina."

"Or Kahara!" chimed in Naruto. "She probably won't take it well!"

_Good-bye…_

_Humans are such saps. I suppose this doesn't damage the timelines._  For some reason, the  _person_ inside Naruto sounded like she was  _sad._  And possibly crying.

_I am NOT crying. Just…letting out some emotion…alright, I'm crying, dammit. Humans are so emotional!_  The  _person_ inside of Naruto sniffed.


	53. The Night Naruto Was Born

(IN THE PAST)

"Kushina! I'm home! I also brought a book of Jiraiya's home!" Minato called with a small smile the next morning as he entered the home.

"You're happy!" Kushina smiled. "What, did you meet someone famous?"

Minato's mind went to his future daughter.

"Not quite," he smiled. "But I can't tell you. Sadly. And look, Jiraiya wrote a non-porn book! When he was younger, at least."

Interested, Kushina opened it.

~"~

"I'm pregnant!" Kushina announced. Minato smiled a little (but Kushina didn't see the small smile) at her, then acted shocked.

"I'm going to be a father!"

"I'm going to be a mother!"

~"~

"Let's name him Naruto!" Kushina proposed. Minato paused.  _Him? It's definitely a female. But I'll go along with it._

"Okay," he agreed. "Let's make Jiraiya godfather!" He saw now why the old pervert had told him to read the book.

~"~

Minato knew. He knew he wouldn't get to see his daughter's life.

Before he died, he made a will. A will that made Naruto inheritor of all his techniques and money-everything, as she would be the sole heir-when she became chuunin. Minato had no brothers he knew of, because he was an orphan.

It became lost in the piles of completed and filed paperwork, lost until the day his daughter found it.

He didn't know that he would die the night she was born.

~"~

"It's because…she's our daughter…that I don't…want her…to bear such a heavy burden, Minato! And why the Shiki Fujin? Why does Naruto have to be sacrificed for the balance of Bijuu, for the village, for the country?" Kushina sobbed.

Minato let a couple of tears slip. This wasn't easy for him.  _I already know who she's going to become, Kushina._

"To forsake one's country, and one's village is the same as forsaking one's child." He could feel the grasp of the Shinigami on his soul.  _Please, let me finish this._

He prepared the altar quickly. The claw was coming at them…and they stepped in front of it. It speared them, stopping it from reaching their sleeping daughter.  _To think I might not see those eyes, makes it so hard not to cry,_  he thought. He wouldn't see them open for the first time, hear her first word. But he'd met her once. A warrior.  _Even if you cannot hear my voice, I'll be right beside you, dear._

Kushina spoke about Naruto eating her vegetables. Being careful of Jiraiya.

And Kushina apologized for taking the last of their time.

He didn't mind that Kushina had taken all his time. He really didn't. He could die assured that his darling baby girl was going to travel back in time and she would know the Rasengan.

He knew all of this. He knew he could entrust the rest of the Kyuubi to her.

"Naruto," he said to the sleeping child, "listen…to your motormouth mother."

He trusted Shiki to do as his daughter told him.

He died knowing what his daughter was going to become at the age of fourteen.


	54. Orochimaru and Angry Silence

Inari made the others get away from the Ryuumyaku. She (as she was in a female body) made an excuse.

"I want to make sure the seal is stable," she lied. Hey, she was known as a trickster.

"Okay, well, see you whenever you come back to Konoha!" Kakashi waved lazily.

I think he has a thingfor Naruto. Man, she gets allof the ones that are edible, said the currently female-inclined Kurama.

Luckily, the human consciousness was…well, unconscious.

How many does she have falling for her? Inari wondered.

Well…let's count. The shadow-manipulator, the dog-boy, Saiken's host, the cyclops, and that Uchiha who has Indra's chakra and soul. Inari paused in her perusal of finding a way to safely get rid of the Ryuumyaku.

I'm one of the very fewyou cannot deceive, Kurama. Inari's voice was matter-of-fact.

Fine. And me. Happy? The demon asked sarcastically. But she wouldn't consider me being serious.

Ask her again when she's older. Inari took the seal off of the Ryuumyaku, and it started to power up.

Inari stopped it with a hand on it. But then she shrugged.

Chakra dispersal would work, she thought to herself distractedly. Thanks to Kaguya, chakra only exists here. Plus with how the circle of life works, the chakra would be abundant. She took her hand off it. It blazed to life. Inari walked into the stream and immersed herself into it.

She directed the chakra, telling it to disperse in the air over the Elemental Nations and the surrounding areas.

She also made another fox tail under Naruto's henge.

Then she exited her host, excited for what the future would bring.

~:~

Why am I always the one to wake up? She wondered to herself angrily. Kurama-

Don't ask. Can't say. Kurama sounded surly.

What's crawled up your furry butt?

Gaki, shut up and get up. Kurama sounded angry-not surly.

Naruto scowled but did as he told her and sat up, head hurting, but thankfully not as bad as when she was mind-drunk.

"You're up," Utakata's voice sounded neutral.

"Yeah, I have a small headache." Naruto opened her eyes and met Utakata's…angry eyes. "What's with the look?"

"Your chakra changed. You weren't you," Utakata said, attempting to explain…and utterly failing.

"Oh, I know," Naruto growled. "Something keeps possessing me." Utakata frowned.

"Do you know-"

"No," Naruto cut him off. "The person possessing me won't tell me anything. Only that I gain a tail."

Utakata frowned. "Gain a tail?" he repeated.

Naruto took a deep breath. She raised her hands to her necklace and took it off, closing her eyes.

Utakata breathed in a shocked way.

"You're pretty!"

Naruto opened her eyes to see nothing but sincerity in Utakata's face.

"And your breasts are growing," another voice said.

Naruto shot up and slammed a foot in Orochimaru's face-

-wait, she kicked Orochimaru.

"Who are you?" demanded Utakata.

"Apparently a pedophile," Naruto muttered.

Orochimaru sat up and smirked. "I simply came to exchange something." Naruto's face went white when she saw her ninken, limp and bloody, weakly hanging from the pedophile's grasp. "Your ninken for the scythe you…liberated…from Hidan."

"Who's Hidan?" Utakata asked, but Naruto didn't answer him.

"I'll give you a-"

"No." Naruto cut him off. "I'll give you the damn thing. I give you my word." She looked for her things and found the scroll it was in. She unsealed it. "Set them down."

He set them down. She moved forward.

"Naruto, you're not seriously-"

"UTAKATA, SHUT UP!" Naruto burst out in anger. Utakata shut up.

Naruto tossed him the scythe.

Orochimaru grinned sickly. "Thank you-"

"Get out," Naruto growled angrily. He was gone.

Naruto rushed to her ninken. Violet stirred.

"Gomen, Naruto-sama."

"Don't you dare apologize," Naruto ordered her. "Just get better. We'll be training really hard then, okay?"

Violet simply nuzzled into her again.

Naruto walked over to her makeshift bed and put her necklace back on, then returned to her ninkens' sides.

~:~

As the weeks once again passed and turned into months, Hotaru could feel the angry tension between Utakata and Naruto.

Hotaru and Naruto were being trained in natural energy by Jiraiya (which meant sitting still and doing nothing for a long time), while Utakata and Naruto were doing their best to harness their bijuus' power.

It came to a point soon after Violet and Shisui were not limping anymore and Hotaru had been asked to go the Tsuchigumo Village.

"I don't think giving him the scythe was a good idea," Utakata abruptly said the morning Hotaru was to leave. "In fact, I think it was one of the dumbest mistakes you've ever made."

Reports of a scythe being used in murders had been given to Jiraiya.

"I told you," Naruto said, clenching her teeth, "I will not let Violet and Shisui die."

"Their sacrifice would've been better-" started Utakata, but he stopped as Naruto slammed her hands on the table, standing up from her chair.

"SHUT UP!" She yelled. "They are my companions-they're almost like Kyuu!"

"Except you won't die if they die!" Utakata snapped at her.

"What, would you rather they die and I blame myself?!" Naruto snarled at him. "I blame myself enough, Utakata!" Naruto shut her mouth abruptly. She took a deep breath.

"Naruto?" Hotaru's voice was soft. "What do you mean, you blame yourself enough?"

Utakata tilted his head.

"When I was younger," Naruto said stiffly, "I made friends with an older guy named Shisui. His clan found out about it, and Shisui apparently committed suicide. I thought Itachi did it, but he told me he didn't."

"Isn't he a missing-nin?" Utakata wondered.

"Itachi may be a missing-nin, but he wouldn't lie to me," Naruto said stubbornly. "Hotaru, Jiraiya wanted me to follow you."

"Okay," Hotaru answered quickly. She didn't want to anger Naruto even more.


	55. A Trap

They left as the sun entered the highest position of the day. Naruto scowled a little bit.

"At least we're not too far!" Hotaru smiled. Violet padded next to Hotaru and shushed her.

**"** **Naruto-sama's most likely dwelling in the past."** Violet glanced at Naruto. **"** **I have heard quite a bit about Uchiha Itachi, and most of it isn't good. But he protected a bunshin of Naruto-sama in the invasion that happened over a year ago."** Violet seemed to think for a minute.  **"** **Also, I have a feeling whatever happened on that mission made Naruto-sama think even** ** _more_** **about Itachi."**

Hotaru took a deep breath.  _So, Naruto knew this missing-nin from before._  "He's the guy that hurt Utakata when that orange-haired man came, isn't he?"

Violet nodded.  **"** **I wasn't there, but yes, I can assume such a thing."** Nimbly, the fox slipped under a branch Hotaru had to climb over.

"Let's just get to the town, okay?" Naruto asked, surprising Hotaru. "Think they'd mind if I crashed there for a while?"

"Nope," Hotaru shrugged. "They're nice. Tonbee told me he was going to meet me there, though. It's quiet."

"Stop," Naruto ordered. Hotaru stopped. Hotaru felt something wet hit her forehead. "Do you hear that?"

"Naruto!" Hotaru saw something black hit Naruto's arm. Naruto growled. Violet and Shisui had vanished, presumably to hide themselves.

"I have the Tsuchigumo Clan forbidden jutsu!" laughed a man insanely.

"Son of a-" Naruto cut herself off for some odd reason. "Why does this happen?!" she moaned. " _Every. Single. Time!"_

"Silence."

Naruto's mouth worked, but no sound came out.

Hotaru inhaled. Unlike Naruto, her body wasn't currently frozen. She discreetly made the handsigns for her water jutsu, but just as she was about to spit water, she was frozen.

"Can't have that," the man said, coming into the light. He was pale and had completely black eyes. "Come."

Hotaru felt her legs moving on their own accord, and her arm lowered from her mouth. This was probably one of the people in her clan that wanted to steal the technique.

Naruto got right beside her. Her hand hit Naruto's, and Naruto grasped it.

_He's going to activate the technique,_  Naruto's voice sounded in Hotaru's head, making Hotaru go a little wide-eyed.  _And this is a technique that Kyuubi is letting me borrow to tell you. You remember how to keep the jutsu from exploding?_

_No,_  Hotaru responded, terrified.

_Well…damn. I was planning on going back to Konoha soon, but I suppose I'll return early. Hotaru, I know it's going to be a little difficult, but trust me. Okay?_

Hotaru nodded.

~:~

Naruko stopped walking with Kiba and Shikamaru. She gave them a sad little smile.

"I guess it's almost time for me to leave," she informed them, seeing Kakashi cross in front of them, face buried in his book, smiling pervertedly. "I need to go tell Tsunade."

"But-" Kiba began. "You're not Naruto! You're her sister!"

Shikamaru said nothing.

Naruko snorted. "Kiba, the difference between Naruto and I is that we're leading two different lives…but in reality? I'm just a clone of Naruto." She looked at the stars, twinkling merrily above her. "I know where I fit in here, and it really isn't a place you'd think is good. I'm okay with leaving." She hugged Kiba, then Shikamaru. "See you guys later!" she waved gaily as she darted off.

She was at the Hokage Tower, and she burst into the room. "Baa-san!" Thankfully, only Shizune stood there. "In the next few hours, I'm going to collapse and then you'll see the real me." Naruko smiled a little bit. "Later!"

"Brat, come-"

Naruko shut the door.

~:~

Itachi frowned in displeasure. Leader-sama had forbidden any of the teams from going after their jinchuuriki thanks to Yahiko who had lied and said that they weren't powerful enough to have a slim chance of surviving the extraction.

But that really wasn't why Itachi frowned. Leader-sama-at the behest of Yahiko-had switched the teams up. Itachi was now partnered with Deidara. The older man was about as blonde as Naruto, perhaps slightly duller in color. Had it not been for the fact that he was an ex-Iwa ninja, he would have assumed that he was somehow related to the Yondaime.

Itachi sighed quietly with annoyance.

"Itachi! I'm going to beat you, un!" Deidara said, glaring at him.

_Can I please kill him?_  Itachi prayed to nobody in particular.

"Nobody can beat my superior doujutsu," Itachi said in a low, dangerous voice.

Kisame, sitting at the other end of the room, perked up.

"You better stop antagonizing him, baka," he warned Deidara. "If he gets too annoyed he'll Sharingan you into oblivion."

_I wish,_  Itachi thought glumly.  _I won't use my Sharingan unless it's to kill someone else._

"Just why did we switch partners, anyway?" asked Hidan, who was currently paired with Sasori.

"Yahiko-sama said so," Kakuzu said.

Itachi got up. He'd had enough with socializing.

Unfortunately, Itachi only took two steps before he was coughing nastily, blood spraying out onto his hand, leaning against the wall for support. He realized everyone was looking at him with curiosity when he finally stopped.

"You okay, Itachi-san?" Kisame questioned.

To their surprise, Itachi gave Kisame the finger and left.

~:~

Deidara frowned as Itachi vanished down the hall.

"What the hell is his problem, un?" Deidara asked.

The rest of the teams cleared out after Itachi's uncharacteristic display; apart from Deidara, Kisame, a hidden Yahiko and Konan, they were all gone.

Kisame spoke. "Itachi-san has a disease linked to his eyes."

Deidara scoffed. "And?" he questioned.

"Each time he uses the Mangekyo Sharingan, Itachi-san becomes blinder and sicker," Kisame said to him, his sword gurgling a little. "With his recent failures, I suppose the stress is getting to him."

"So why don't we just go after-" Deidara began, but was silenced by Kisame's glare.

"Itachi-san may have slaughtered his entire clan, but Itachi-san has a reason for everything."

_In other words, he has a reason for failing._  Deidara frowned a little. "What's so damn special about the Kyuubi, un?"

If only he knew.

~:~

Naruto and Hotaru kept walked, Naruto clasping Hotaru's hand and making Hotaru feel warm.

Hotaru remembered a discussion Naruto and Jiraiya had one breakfast before they'd left for their mission without her.

_"_ _I just want you to be careful. You only have one life, after all," Jiraiya had said. Jiraiya was scolding Naruto for being careless and nearly getting stabbed by Utakata's kunai._

_"_ _Actually, that's not true. Technically, I have two more chances; if you_ really _wanted to get technical, I could tell you this: Ketsueki clones." Naruto grinned, Jiraiya opening his mouth to respond._

_"_ _But they're similar to bunshin, so they'll dispel-"_

_"_ _Iie. My chakra is shaved in half. The Ketsueki builds the chakra up, and adds to my chakra coils. If I use too much chakra, I'd die-but it would be as if I were the Kage Bunshin. My consciousness and whatever's happened to my body is added onto the first Ketsueki clone; except lost limbs and the like." Naruto shrugged. "It's an impractical solution, -ttebayo. I'll be in a coma for a while afterwards."_

_Naruto, are you going to use the Ketsueki clone?_

_Hai,_  Naruto responded.  _It's a risk I'll have to take._

Hotaru shivered. There was a very real possibility Naruto and Kurama would be utterly destroyed.

They walked through the town of blank-faced Tsuchigumo.

Hotaru and Naruto were stopped at the top, Hotaru's shirt torn halfway off.

Tears of fear stared collecting in Hotaru's eyes as she felt the spiritual chakra start to collect in overabundance.

She squeezed her eyes shut.

~:~

Naruto steeled herself.  _I hope Shisui and Violet stay away,_  she thought desperately as she sensed the natural energy start to collect around Hotaru.

**They're still animals, even though they're ninken,**  Kurama said pointedly.  **They can sense danger. Look at the sky-the birds are fleeing.**

He was right.

She took a deep breath. It was going to be a close shave, but Naruto  _would_ save Hotaru.

She saw the man smirk and look away, confident in his ability to control them.

But Kurama  _hated_  it when his host was controlled. So while  _Naruto_ followed the unnamed guy's command,  _Kurama_  had been discreetly pushing his chakra into the ink of the ink-jutsu.

Naruto squeezed Hotaru's hand.  _Hotaru, open your mouth._  Hotaru's fright was obvious in her mental voice.

_But my body is-_

Naruto viciously squeezed Hotaru's hand. Her mouth opened in a soundless cry. Naruto had taken care not to crush her hand-but what she'd done worked. Not even this guy could overwrite the body's natural reactions.

Hotaru opened and closed her mouth.

_When I tell you to, bite down._ ** _HARD._** _And don't stop, not even to scream, got it? Also, do_ not, _under_  any,  _circumstances, open your eyes,_ Naruto ordered.

Hotaru mentally nodded.

_Alright. On the count of five!_

Naruto got ready.

_Ichi._

She brought her hand to Hotaru's mouth.

_Ni._

_San._

Naruto placed her hand on Hotaru's back and loosely grasped the weapon.

_Yon._

Naruto ordered her to do bite down.  _Bite!_

Hotaru bit down on her hand. Naruto's chakra was being sucked from her. At the same time, Naruto's other fingers grew claws to find more purchase on the rod stuck in Hotaru's back. Kurama's chakra extended from Naruto's currently-being bitten hand and pre-emptively went around the hole that was going to be in Hotaru's back. Since it was a very short rod, the spinal cord hadn't really been damaged, which was good.

_Go._

Naruto yanked the rod out of her back. Hotaru didn't scream-instead, she bit  _harder._

She could feel the rod glowing.

Naruto took a deep breath, waiting until Hotaru was healed enough before tearing her hand out. A bloody gash scored her hand. Naruto could only feel a thin piece of Kurama inside of her.

Naruto slammed into the smug man looking away and hugged him close.

"Let's go to hell together," she grinned.

There was a pause as the thing stopped glowing, and Naruto knew.

It auto-destructed when it was active and outside of a chakra source. It would have destroyed Hotaru's chakra coils later, so taking it out now was a good idea.

It blew up.


	56. Memories

Hotaru hugged herself in shock as she walked down the mountain.

Tonbee appeared before her.

"Hotaru? What are you-"

Hotaru burst into tears, unable to help doing so.

~:~

Naruko sighed quietly when she felt Kurama come into her mind.

_My time over?_ She asked. She honestly wondered how her original could deal with the hate-even if it seemed to come less from the other shinobi and more from the villagers. She was a bunshin with her original's memories, and she  _still_  didn't get it.

Nor did she really want to.

**'** **Fraid so,**  Kurama replied.

_I'm kind of glad,_  the Ketsueki clone said. She walked into her home and smiled at Haku playing with little Hiro.

"Hey, guys, the real me's coming home!" Naruko smiled a bit.

Naruko didn't hear their responses. Everything went black.

~:~

_"_ _Do you think that Naruto will be all right?" Itachi heard Shisui ask as Itachi came back into his kitchen after taking Naruto home._

_"_ _I think she'll be safe from the villagers if she keeps out of sight," Itachi replied._

_Shisui sighed. The older male sat on his couch and blinked._

_"_ _Ne, Itachi?"_

_"_ _Yes?"_

_"_ _Why are there papers strewn all over my coffee table?"_

_Itachi swallowed. "I was teaching Naruto how to read."_

_Shisui frowned. "Doesn't she live at the orphanage?"_

_"_ _I dropped her off there earlier, I assume she does," Itachi said, blinking._

_Shisui sighed. "Ah, I suppose I'll find out later. Next time I see her I'll ask!"_

_"_ _Shisui, we have to figure out what's going to happen in the clan," Itachi told his friend. "I think Father was kind of angry you befriended the kid."_

_Shisui smiled. "Was it before or after we landed in the drunk tank?" he grinned._

_"_ _I'm being serious," Itachi said. Seriously._

_"_ _Lighten up, Itachi," Shisui smiled. "You know I'll never be like those other Uchiha."_

_"_ _No," Itachi said as Shisui stood up to go into the kitchen. "You won't."_

_~"~_

_"_ _Hey, Naruto!" Shisui appeared behind her._

_Instead of smiling and hugging him, Naruto flinched away and hung her head._

_He frowned, wondering if this was his friend._

_"_ _Hey, kid, you okay?"_

_"_ _Please don't," she whispered. "Please just go away."_

_No verbal tic. Shisui's eye spun into its initial Sharingan form as Naruto glanced at him._

_There were hints of a genjutsu around her._

_"_ _Naruto, did I come earlier?"_

_"_ _The day after Itachi showed me to the orphanage, Uchiha-san. You should remember." Naruto's voice was afraid. Very afraid._

_"_ _Naruto." Shisui hugged the chibi girl to him. "I was on a mission the night Itachi showed you home. A very long C-Rank. Well, long for me. One of my family members must've used genjutsu against you."_

_He had a feeling he knew._

_"_ _I promise I will never do what I said," Shisui said. Hope slowly filled the blonde's blue eyes._

_"_ _Shisui." Itachi's amused voice sounded a few feet away. "There's a family meeting that Father wants you at."_

_"_ _Great," Shisui groaned saracastically. "Another family meeting. Is it just me?"_

_Itachi paused. Then he nodded. "I must take Naruto to her apartment."_

_Naruto froze. Shisui's head sharply looked at Itachi._

_Then at Naruto._

_"_ _Why don't you live at the orphanage?"_

_"_ _They kicked me out when I was three," Naruto said quietly. "But jiji said I can start at the Academy soon, -ttebayo! I live in a really high apartment!"_

_Shisui chuckled. "That's good news!" He rubbed her head affectionately._

_Itachi butted in. "Naruto-chan, Shisui has to go see our father. I'll walk you home."_

_"_ _Alright," Naruto said, looking up at Shisui one more time. "Bye, Shisui!"_

~:~

Itachi was taken out of his thoughts by his temporary partner slamming the door open.

"Come on, Itachi! Your brother's sent you a challenge!"

Itachi's eyes widened in alarm.

"Nani?" he asked.

"Yeah, it's all written out right here." He placed the letter down.

Itachi read it, and it was definitely his foolish little brother's handwriting.

His grip tightened violently. The paper crinkled harshly under his grip.

He stood up wordlessly. He left his Akatsuki cloak where it was. He grabbed his ninja tools silently. Then he walked out, passing Deidara.

"Aren't you going to take your cloak?"

Itachi didn't answer.

~:~

Naruto forced herself awake.

**You realize you'll be chakra-sensitive until your coils merge completely?**

_I'm not an idiot, Kurama…though my chakra does feel…calmer._  Naruto mentally reviewed her memories.  _Wow, Kiba's coming on very strong-hold on, is that Neji and Hinata_ ** _kissing?_** _Oh, man…Why do I have_ two _boys after me?_

**Actually, I'd say about…hmm, five men,**  Kurama snorted.

Naruto mentally frowned.  _How do you figure?_

**I ain't going to tell you if you don't know, baka.** Kurama sounded… _shifty._

Eh, whatever.

"-shinobi leaving the village-"

"-heard it was near the Uchiha district!"

Naruto shot up and lunged for the nurse who'd said that, holding her by the collar, panic suddenly in her every move. And etched on her face.

"What did you just say?" Naruto growled.

The nurse looked terrified. "Uh…a large chakra burst was felt over the area near the Uchiha district. Large squads of shinobi are leaving?"

She squeaked that last part out.

**So Uchiha Sasuke is intent on getting his revenge. What will you do about it?**

_I'll go to Baa-san…and_ quickly  _tell her everything._


	57. Saving Itachi

Naruto slammed into the council room, not caring that the ANBU tried to stop her.

Tsunade had, for some reason, kept up the fiction that Itachi was still to blame for the Uchiha Massacre.

Well, he  _was,_  but he'd been  _ordered_  to. But that wasn't the point! Tsunade was supposed to let the people know-but she hadn't! She'd  _promised!_

"What's the meaning of this?" one of the elders growled. "You're supposed to be-"

"I know, I look great for a comatose girl, don't I?" Naruto snarked. "Now shut up and listen."

"Naruto, you're stepping out of your bounds," Tsunade said, stepping forward and putting her hands under her impressive bust.

"Am I,  _Hokage-sama?"_  Naruto sneered. "Because when I woke up, imagine how amazed I was to realize you  _didn't keep your promise._ "

The blood drained out of Tsunade's face.

"What promise?" demanded the pink-haired civilian elder ( _Haruno Mebuki,_  her mind supplied for her). It didn't surprise Naruto that the Sandaime's other former friends also went chalk-colored.

"To tell you the truth behind Uchiha Itachi's actions of the Uchiha Massacre."

"Naruto-" began Tsunade, but Naruto's angry eyes glanced at her and she shut her mouth.

"Uchiha Itachi did not kill the Uchiha Clan because he snapped. The truth was, he got an ultimatum from Shimura Danzou: Kill off the clan, or Shimura Danzou would use Uchiha Sasuke and eventually take his eyes. Itachi wrestled out a promise from the twisted man: If Itachi did as ordered and became a missing-nin, he would be able to spare Sasuke-from both the massacre  _and_  from Shimura's hands."

"How do you know this?" demanded the Sandaime's old advisors.

"Itachi visited me the night of the Massacre." Gasps ran through the room. "He made me promise to look  _underneath the underneath._ I was able to paint ANBU HQ without being noticed...do you really think I wouldn't find out on one of my many pranks?"

"You're saying that you knew Itachi?" demanded Haruno.

"Obviously," Naruto snapped. "Or are you hard of hearing? I also knew Uchiha Shisui, by the way." There was a pause. "Shimura took one of his eyes because of his ultimate command Sharingan, Kotoamatsukami."

"And what of its-"

"Oh, Itachi has it." Naruto smirked at the flabbergasted elders. She turned to the Hokage. "Hokage-sama, I would like your express permission to retrieve Uchiha Itachi and bring him back to the village."

Tsunade hesitated.

Then she sighed. "Go ahead."

~:~

Itachi coughed as he walked towards his terrified brother, his red Susano'o flared around him. He reached his hand out one last time and let his Susano'o fade away.

His brother knocked it aside…and Itachi fell, his head slamming into the wall with the Uchiha symbol on it.

His last thought before he blacked out was the thought of a fourteen-nearly-fifteen year old girl with brilliant yellow hair.

~:~

Deidara swore as he realized he was surrounded. Then he felt a small flare in the ring that-according to Yahiko-sama-meant that one of the members was either dead or dying.

He swore. Again.

He was about to use his final jutsu when-

"Wait! If you surrender you might have a chance, even if it's a slim one, to be released on a temporary basis!"

It was said by a brunette with buns.

"Aw, Bun-chan, you're cute, but sadly I don't swing that way, un," he taunted-only to freeze in surprise as something slammed onto his back.

"Fuuin: Paralysis!" the other blonde, a Yamanaka, if he was right-called.

Deidara couldn't move.

A blow fell onto his head, but he didn't pass out until he heard one last thing:

"Thank goodness Naruto's awesome with seals."

~:~

Naruto's body exploded with Kurama's chakra.

She moved almost as fast as the  _Hiraishin._ She disabled it not long after she got near the ruined compound.

She saw him. He strode towards her. She ran towards him-

~:~

Sasuke tensed. Naruto was running at him-

-and she completely disregarded him.

She raced, instead, towards his fallen brother. "Itachi!" she screamed. Sasuke swore he saw tears fall from her eyes. But that was impossible-the dobe didn't cry, did she?

Sasuke's mouth dropped open as Naruto fell to his side, feeling for a pulse.

"Naruto. He's dead. And pathetically dead, too," Sasuke sneered, unsheathing Kusanagi.

Naruto stilled.

"Sasuke…" Her head slowly turned. Lips were curled upward, ragged whisker marks, ruby eyes…and a killing intent that nearly made him pee his pants. "Leave or die."

He gulped. "We're leaving," he snarled. He vanished, pretty much leaving Juugo and Suigetsu to Konoha's mercy.

~:~

Naruto ignored the other two behind her as she ran a diagnostic jutsu over Itachi. He was  _dying,_ not  _dead_.

"Good news is he's only  _mostly_  dead," she quipped to herself. She'd watched a movie at the theater when she was a little kid called the  _Princess Bride._  She'd snuck in, and hadn't been caught.

"What if he's  _all the way_  dead?"

"Then there's only one thing we can do," she smiled. She didn't know why she was joking around with this guy-but then, she realized it stopped her from worrying too much.

"What's that?"

"Rifle through his pockets and look for loose change." She blinked a little as she thought of something. "Hey, do either of you have drinkable water?"

"Suigetsu, the rain's enough for you to-"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Water floated over to Naruto, and Naruto held Itachi's mouth open.

"Since he's still alive, I think the body's natural reflex is to swallow. I need his teeth to puncture my hand."

"Ew, that's nasty," 'Suigetsu' shuddered. But the water lowered into Suigetsu's mouth, and Itachi swallowed.

Naruto forced his teeth to dig into her hand, and the healing chakra came out.

_Heal, damn you,_  she growled at him.

She felt his heart slow.

_No, no no!_

Not him. Not her other oldest friend…Itachi had to live!

Tears of anguish came into Naruto's eyes.

_Itachi…please. Live. I don't think I can lose you._ _Not after Kaa-san and Tou-san-both sets-leaving me alone. Please, stay alive. I can_ _'_ _t bear it if you died, too._

Kurama's chakra pushed through.

**Naruto, I want you to tell him that he'll be able to see, but he'll need to figure out some handseals to do his Sharingan jutsus.**

_You're taking away his ability to-_

**Control me, yes. And he'll be able to use his Sharingan abilities, but they'll require more chakra. His eyes will do the spinny thing they do, but they won't be able to control me. Oh, and he won't be able to pass the 'control a Bijuu' aspect on.**

_He's going to be pissed-_

**I don't give a damn!**  Kurama's roar ripped through her mind.  **You know how much I hate Uchihas. If you let me do this, I'll hate this guy just a** ** _little_** **less.**

_I have no choice but to let you save him,_  Naruto said simply.

**…** **for a genius, you really are a** **_dumbass._ **

_What's that supposed to mean?_

**Utakata, Kiba, Shikamaru, Kakashi, and Itachi. Well, more so Kiba and Shikamaru, since you're technically jailbait…**

_Kurama, what are you talking about?_  Naruto was utterly lost.

**That proves my point. You** **_are_ ** **a dumbass.**

Naruto didn't answer, because she heard the Chidori.

Instantly, Naruto was covering Itachi's body with her own and hugging it, red chakra covering them both as Naruto's worry, desperation, and anger at the possibility of Itachi dying let some of Kurama through, and a fearsome growl ripped through the air.

" **Touch**  him  **and**  die," Naruto and Kurama said together...Kurama only doing it because he knew very well the anger of his Uzumaki host.

"Yeah, I'd listen to her…and we surrender! Sasuke left us behind!"

"Don't hide behind  _me!_  I'm not even remotely threatening in this form!"

"Shut up!" Naruto ordered angrily. "Someone help me save him!" She got up.

"Naruto, let's take him to the hospital," urged someone.

" _I will,_ " Naruto snarled, withdrawing her hand from Itachi's mouth to create a bunch of bunshin, who stared at the group of ninja with mistrust as a few other bunshin helped Naruto up, her hand back in Itachi's mouth to give more of her chakra to him to heal.

The group of ninjas watched as Naruto and her bunshins moved across the ground, hiding Itachi's unconscious form from them.


	58. Recalling the Past

Jiraiya arrived in Konoha with Hotaru and Utakata behind him. He moved through the village, hearing whispers.

Utakata poked someone on the shoulder.

"Excuse me, but what's going on?"

"The demon bitch brought a traitor back," a man  _without_  a hitai-ate said.

"Hey!" a girl with dark eyes that sounded like a guy said, narrowing her eyes. "You talk about Naruto like that again, and I'll sic Zabuza on you!"

Her companion held a giant butcher knife…and he was  _Momochi Zabuza._

"I haven't fed my sword in a long while." Razor teeth grinned savegly. Then Zabuza's eyes met Utakata's, and Utakata swallowed a little. However, the man simply nodded.

"Aren't you on probation?" another civilian with pink hair said, shoving her breasts out as she crossed her arms under them.

"Doesn't mean the Hokage would care if I or Haku defended her granddaughter," Zabuza said pleasantly. "In fact, I'd dare you to bad-mouth that brat in front of  _Ebisu_  and you'd definitely get a stern talking-to."

"Where is Naruto?" Jiraiya asked him.

Zabuza shrugged. "I think she went to the clan compound to get Karin's help." Zabuza glanced over at Haku. "Who is taking care of our kid, so I think we should be hurrying so that Haku could help if Naruto needs it. Later, Sannin. Utakata."

Zabuza moved to stand with 'Haku'.

Utakata frowned a little.

Jiraiya looked at Utakata. "I think Naruto and Itachi have history together. That's why she's intent on saving him."

Utakata blinked. "And I care  _why?"_  he asked.

"Naruto could have  _died,_  you baka!" Hotaru fumed. "She took a gamble."

"She obviously didn't," Utakata replied coolly.

Jiraiya sighed. "Why did I have to take you guys as my team?" he wondered to himself.

"Utakata's just being a jackass," Hotaru grumbled. "A petty jackass, at that."

Shisui coughed in amusement while Violet snorted.

**"Humans,"**  Violet said with a foxy grin.  **"Always ignoring their baser instincts. Why don't you just jump the girl? With her line of work, she's no stranger to-"**

**"Shut up, Vi,"** Shisui warned as a scarred ninja passed the group.  **"Hime doesn't want her line of work being broadcasted."**

**"If I were in human form, I'd try it,"** the fox grumbled.  **"And when did you start calling her 'hime'?"**

"Yo!" Tsume grinned at them, Jiraiya blinking at her sudden appearance. "I need to teach the ninken something that I neglected to before." She grabbed the vixen and the dog by the scruffs of their necks.

The two whined pathetically.

~:~

Naruto heard the door open as she slowly woke up from her spot next to her bed, which Itachi was sleeping in.

But…he wasn't sleeping.

He was looking a little confused.

"I'm not dead," was his rather obvious statement.

"You baka!" Naruto slapped his arm weakly. Then she hugged him. "Do you know how worried I was that you would-"

She refused to say the word. Otherwise it would make it a reality. Several people that she loved had died already; she did not need yet another to die in front of her.

"Why am I here? Where is here?"

"The Uzumaki compound," Naruto smiled. "And you're here and not dead because I wouldn't let you die."

Itachi's eyes widened. "Your chakra levels are- Naruto, did you use most of your chakra healing me?"

"Yeah."

"Why would you risk-"

"Because," Naruto snapped, standing up and turning away from him. "I have my reasons for not wanting you to die. You already know all of them." Naruto turned back to him. "I…the Kyuubi helped in your healing."

"But?" Naruto flinched a little. "It must've done something for you to be angry. I see far more clearly-"

"The Sharingan no longer has the ability to control others. You'll need to make a series of handsigns for the other aspects of it and it still does the spinny thing. I have to heal you after each use of the Mangekyou Sharingan."

Itachi didn't say anything for a few minutes.

Eventually, the silence got to Naruto. "Well, I'll leave you alone. I understand if you're pissed at me."

Naruto fled and shut the door.

~:~

Itachi blinked a little, at a loss. He honestly didn't care about the loss of his ability to control others with the Sharingan.

He recalled the last time he'd seen her as a Konoha shinobi.

_He'd just left Sasuke, laying on the ground, broken._

_Tears still dripped from Itachi's eyes._

_He had a promise to keep to Shisui, though, so he slipped into Naruto's home, not caring that the purple-haired ANBU tensed when he did so._ _She knew of what his task was. Danzou had most likely not known of Itachi_ _'s connection to Naruto; good thing, too, or the entire village would be waking up without a bright blonde girl who acted like a boy to survive._

_He paused when he caught sight of Naruto._

_For a second, he wondered if he wanted to disturb the short-haired chibi that looked like an angel as she slept._ _Her short blonde hair was splayed against the pillow in all directions, and her face was peaceful, as if she were having a rare night of good dreams._

_"Naruto."_

_The sleeping chibi stirred a little._

_"Here's some Ramen…" he whispered fondly._ _Another tear slipped down his face._

_"Itadakimasu!" the chibi sat up, her eyes widening. "Itachi?_ _You_ _'re- why are you crying, Itachi?_ _"_

_Itachi could sense the gaze of the ANBU, but he disregarded it. All of ANBU knew what he was going to do. Why he was saying goodbye to the demon child this ANBU would soon find out._

_"Hey, chibi," he whispered, using Shisui's nickname. Said chibi looked at him. "What I'm going to ask you to do is going to be hard, okay? I won't be here for you. I promised Shisui I'd take care of you."_

_Her eyes widened. "B-but…but ANBU-san said you killed Shisui!"_ _Perhaps it hadn_ _'t been best to keep his distance; she believed the lie. He would neither confirm or deny this accusation._

_He couldn't bear to leave her if her eyes lit up in excitement at his innocence; even if he had not truly killed Shisui, he was not innocent of killing his own father and mother._

_Itachi took a deep breath. "Even if you hate me, chibi, I promised to keep you safe from harm. Listen carefully, okay?"_

_She nodded._

_"Look underneath the underneath," he told her. He sensed another ANBU-Inu, if he was right-switching with the Bird-masked ANBU_ _lady_ _. "Okay? Promise me. A shinobi must_ always _look underneath the underneath."_ _His voice was thick and desperate as he told her this._

_Naruto nodded. "I promise." She steeled her features._

_Itachi took a deep breath, closing his eyes._ _He hated what he had to do._

_When he opened them, they were red and had the three tomoes. The Sharingan grabbed Naruto and sent her to sleep as they spun._ _It wasn_ _'t strictly a Sharingan power, but it was one of many powers his eyes had._

_Itachi kissed the girl on the forehead as a goodbye, then left through her front door._

_She's always been stubborn,_ Itachi thought. Drowsiness made his eyelids heavy.  _I want to thank her._


	59. The Crazy Uzumaki Uncle

"Shikamaru, Kiba." Naruto drew Shikamaru and Kiba into the living room, which was empty of people. "I think I need to tell you how I know Itachi."

"You don't need to tell us," Shikamaru said, lifting an eyebrow lazily. "You're in love with him. Not us."

Naruto frowned. "Where the hell do you get the idea that I'm in love with him?" Naruto questioned, looking at Shikamaru.

Shikamaru and Kiba sweatdropped.

_Wow… for a genius, she sure is dumb._

~:~

**PURE WORLD**

Kushina, Kahara, and Minato were in depressed states, while everyone else but the quiet Aburame howled with laughter.

"I'm beginning to think that you're daughter's a genius in the shinobi arts and an idiot in everything else," wheezed Madara. Hashirama, however, did nothing but laugh as hard as he could,  _crying_ even as he did so. Tobirama shook with silent sniggers.

"Ah, she's almost fifteen!" Kushina tried to be optimistic. "When she hits sixteen, she'll find out that the men around her are infatuated with her!"

"Oh, no," Minato said, looking concerned at a different picture. It was a picture of his mother, Tsunade, looking horrified about something.  _Naruto, please be careful!_

Because of  _course_  Naruto would be the one sent to capture the blonde man who had gotten free.

~:~

"Naruto," Kakashi said, entering the living room in the middle of Shikamaru opening his mouth to explain what he'd said. "You three and I are to go recapture Deidara. He escaped a few minutes ago."

"Now?" Naruto asked.

"Yeah, no time to get weapons or fuuin tags… but we can just use your clones."

Naruto scowled a little bit. "Let's go!" she said, running out, her orange clothing a blatant eyesore that made Kakashi flinch a bit.

Shikamaru sighed. "Troublesome, but whatever."

Kiba grinned. "We might get promoted if we beat him!"

~:~

Deidara had  _almost_ gotten away, out of Hi no Kuni, when he stopped to take a quick breather.

"Five minutes can't hurt," he gasped to himself. He didn't have any of his explosive clay, so basically if they caught up to him, he was screwed.

"Before I take you in-" a person hung upside-down from a tree branch and made Deidara scream and leap back- "you're an ex-Iwa nin, right? Can you tell me who this is?"

He brought out a colored drawing with a crudely drawn hitai-ate on the man's head.

Deidara's stomach lurched. It was one of the main reasons he'd joined the Explosion Corps in Iwa - his father had made a big deal about raping a Sannin. They'd expected Deidara to be as good as him, even though Deidara preferred not to be called that man's relative.

Apparently, the Sannin had gotten a good look at his face.

"Yeah, why?" Deidara asked suspiciously. He wasn't a natural sensor, but he knew he was most likely surrounded by now.

"He raped someone. Who is he, and where is he?"

"He's dead, first of all, and he's my father, un," Deidara replied, scowling.

The blonde fell from the tree.

"NANI?!"

"Yeah, got an issue, un?" Deidara snapped.

The boy stared at the picture.

"Your dad… is my grandfather. He raped my grandmother, Tsunade, -ttebayo. We're family!" the Kyuubi jinchuuriki then blinked, and Deidara was stone.

"I CAN'T BE RELATED TO THIS ANNOYING ORANGE-WEARING BOY!"

"I'M A GIRL, YOU STUPID BAKA! AND YOU'RE ALSO RELATED TO THE YELLOW FLASH, -TTEBAYO!"

Deidara and the Kyuubi jinchuuriki just stared at each other in shock.

Then the jinchuuriki leapt on him. "Uncle Deidara~!" She rubbed her cheek on his.

"GET OFF OF ME, GAKI!"

"BUT YOU'RE FAMILY! I DON'T WANNA LOSE YOU!"

"I'LL KILL MYSELF IF I HAVE TO PUT UP WITH YOU!"

"NO YOU WON'T! WE'LL LIVE TOGETHER IN THE CLAN COMPOUND, AND YOU CAN CREATE A NEW EXPLOSION CORPS IF BAA-SAN DOESN'T KILL YOU!"

"OH HELL NO!"

~:~

"Please… I'll do  _anything…_ " Deidara wept. "Just  _end me."_

Kakashi smirked under his mask as Tsunade took stock of the situation. He could feel the quiet disbelief of the ANBU in the room. Normally, missing-nin didn't beg for death if they were brought before the Hokage; normally, they'd plead to be spared. He supposed if he were being used as a transport and being smothered with an emotional female jinchuuriki, he'd beg the Hokage for death.

Or become a missing-nin…

Tsunade gave a malicious smirk. "I'm afraid that's not going to be possible." Her smirk widened. "You are hereby sentenced to live with Uzumaki Naruto, on watch - for now - 24/7 by ANBU to prevent you from doing something stupid. Also, we sealed your mouth-heart - which is, quite frankly, disgusting - so you can't blow yourself up. After all, any relatives of Naruto will not blow themselves up."

Deidara sobbed.


	60. Threats, Missions, and the First Meeting

Kakashi was reading his book when someone covered his head and dragged him off to a random place.

He was quickly - and securely - tied to what felt like a desk. Then there was a set of footsteps, and a door shut.

Kakashi waited for what seemed to be hours, with the same pair of footsteps dragging something else in. Several times.

He heard other people breathing. Then he heard the kidnapper sharpening something.

Kakashi's hood was whisked off.

He instantly started struggling, but then he stopped. Shikamaru was sitting there, along with Kiba, Utakata, and a still-slightly-injured Itachi.

Shikamaru was white. And he looked terrified.

"Let's make something clear." A chuunin teacher - Umino Iruka - said, standing at the desk. He smiled, and and it was terrifying - more so as Haku appeared, smiling, and Zabuza, who looked slightly annoyed. "For those of you who don't know, I'm Umino Iruka, chuunin instructor. I don't know what your intentions are to Naruto. And I care about Naruto like she was my own daughter." His smile vanished, and Iruka threw four sharp kunais.

Kakashi squeaked a decidedly unmanly squeak as the kunai landed inches away from his family jewels. Looking around, he noted that the other restrained people also had kunais inches away… well, except for Itachi, who was sweating. Kakashi supposed Itachi was the only one Iruka was still hesitant about. Or Iruka kind of cared about his currently injured state.

"The next time I won't miss," Iruka smirked, the temperature dropping quite a bit.

Kakashi gulped.

"Because… well, there won't be a next time. You hurt Naruto and that kunai will not be the only thing headed for your head." Iruka took out a folded up Demon Wind Shuriken.

"ARE WE CLEAR?!"

"HAI, IRUKA-SENSEI!"

Iruka smiled. "Good. You can knock them out now, Shizune."

~:~

Kakashi swallowed when he saw Iruka in the mission room the next day. Meeting the scarred chuunin's eyes, Iruka not-so-subtly stabbed a kunai in the table and smiled.

Kakashi shuddered, then turned his attention to the Godaime.

"You called, Hokage-sama?"

"Hai. I've put together a team, on Iruka's suggestion. Your team will consist of yourself and four chuunin. Chuunin Nara Shikamaru, Chuunin Inuzuka Kiba, Chuunin Uchiha Itachi, and Chuunin Uzumaki Naruto."

Kakashi paled.

"We decided this after we figured you four would be best to protect one of the few battle medics we have," Tsunade said, sounding genuinely worried. "Similar five-man-cells are being constructed around Yamanaka Ino, Hyuuga Hinata, and Haruno Sakura. Uchiha Itachi has been given a rank below yours because, despite everything, he is a capable ninja. He is in your cell because he  _has_ avoided being captured."

"What of Deidara?" Kakashi asked.

Tsunade blinked. "If you want, take him. Anyway… your first mission is…" Tsunade shoved a pile of C-Ranks, B-Ranks, A-Ranks, and one S-Rank towards the group.

"We'll take this one." He randomly grabbed one. Iruka gave Kakashi a nasty smile as he stamped the mission, not even glancing at it.

Kakashi soon regretted choosing that mission, because it was an S-Rank escort mission to one of the most elusive countries: Ame no Kuni.

~:~

"Alright, our mission is to escort a highly placed diplomat in Konoha to Ame no Kuni, where the diplomat will be taken to his home by Ame nin," Kakashi informed the group. "It's an S-Class mission because of Ame's hidden village, Amegakure. This could either improve our relations, or destroy relations, between these countries."

"Most likely piss Ame off," Deidara said, looking suddenly ill. "Do I have to go, un?"

"If I am, you are," Itachi replied, though Kakashi realized both his former teammate and the half-brother of his sensei looked shaky. "Kakashi-senpai, does Naruto have to go?"

"I'm a highly trained battle medic with training from Tsunade herself," Naruto frowned. "If anyone gets super-injured, I can call on the Slug contract Tsunade asked me to sign while I was gone. I've trained under two of the Sannin themselves."

"Do me a favor then," requested Itachi. "When we pass close to a town, create a Ketsueki clone."

Naruto nodded. "Alright."

Shikamaru coughed. "I though S-Class missions were for ANBU."

"Iruka was the one to sign the scroll," Kakashi informed his team in a slightly unsteady way.

Kiba rushed up. "Sorry for being late. What'd I miss?"

"We got an S-Class mission because Iruka signed the scroll?" Naruto tilted her head in confusion as Kiba, Kakashi, Itachi, and Shikamaru trembled. Deidara snorted.

"Pathetic! You're afraid of a single-"

"Oh, Iruka's a Chuunin," Naruto said with a smile. "I think you'd like him, Uncle! Seeing as you're not into women, I can introduce you!"

Kakashi laughed nervously, pailing even more at the mere  _thought_  of the seemingly-innocent chuunin instruction who was apparently a yandere when it came to Naruto meeting the explosive uncle of said young woman.

Yeah, if those two met, anyone who even  _looked_  at Naruto would lose their jewels.

"Like I'd  _like_  to meet a lame-ass  _chuunin,_ " Deidara scoffed.

Killing Intent exploded from Naruto.

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY ABOUT IRUKA-SENSEI, UNCLE?!"

Kakashi wondered how Naruto had perfected Iruka's Big Head no Jutsu and made it to where her entire body was gigantic. Smoke came out of Naruto's nostrils as she screamed at Deidara, her eyes wide and red, her hair bunching in nine bunches.

Deidara seemed to shrink into a tiny person.

"N-nothing!" the supposedly brave ex-Iwa ninja whimpered.

Just like that, Naruto returned to normal, smiling like nothing had happened.

"Good!" she smiled.

Talking about yandere people…

"Anyway," he cleared his throat with a small sweatdrop, "The diplomat is coming."

"Alright!" Naruto opened her back and said to the group, "Anyone need kunai?"

"I do!" Deidara said, shoving his hands into the backpack… only to stop and look at his niece. "You got clay?!"

"Well, actually, I guess I did, but they're really my transformed clones," was Naruto's sheepish answer. "The Hokage forbade me from actually ordering any."

"I DON'T CARE, YOU'RE THE BEST NIECE EVER!" Deidara hugged her with tears coming out of his eyes.

Kakashi sighed as he looked at Naruto burst into river of tears and hug her uncle.

He recalled the second time he'd truly met her - the first time, he supposed, since that episode with two hims and the Ryuumyaku.

_He entered the classroom, noticing the eraser._

_He allowed it to fall on his head. He glanced at the group and blinked._

_That girl… could that be the one who was with Jiraiya…? He'd figure it out later._

_"Ahahahaha!" the blonde said, holding her stomach and laughing at him. The pinkette flipped out, apologizing._

_"My first impression of you…" the blonde quieted, grinning hugely and closing his eyes. "I hate you all."_

_The blonde slumped dramatically, the pinkette yelled, "It's all your fault, Naruto!" While the brooding Uchiha… brooded._

_"Meet me on the roof in five minutes," he told them, vanishing._

_~:~_

_On the roof, five minutes later, the blonde loudmouth was waiting for Kakashi with the brooder and the pinkette._

_"Alright, we're going to start with a bonding exercise," he said with a smile, taking out his book._

_He watched Naruto's eyes widen a little bit, then they looked away from the book. Kakashi didn't frown, just started to read._

_"Tell me your name, likes, dislikes, and dream for the future," he told them._

_"Why don't you go first, sensei? So we know what to do?" Haruno Sakura, daughter of that bitch on the council, suggested. Kiss-ass._

_"My name is Hatake Kakashi, I won't tell you what my dislikes are, I don't really have a dream," he lied to them about that last one. His dream was to live for Obito and Rin and his sensei… and that pretty girl that he remembered wore a hitai-ate the usual way - he knew she was Naruto, but the how… well, that was a different story. "And my likes can't be shared." He closed his eye and giggled a bit perversely._

_He thought he heard an echoing snicker, but it was gone when he opened his eye._

_"Now. Pinky." He looked at the pinkette. "Go."_

_"Um… my name's Haruno Sakura. My likes are…" she glanced at Sasuke and squealed a bit._

_He winced a bit, noting absently that Naruto flinched a little at her squeal, too._

_"My dream for the future is to marry…" Sakura glanced at Sasuke, turning a bit red, before giggling._

_"And dislikes?"_

_"NARUTO!"_

_Kakashi saw Naruto wince._

_"Now, Broody."_

_"I am Uchiha Sasuke, I have no likes, no dislikes, and no dreams for the future. I have an ambition to kill one certain man."_

_It wasn't Sasuke Kakashi was worried about. Naruto's minute glare of anger at Sasuke was noted, but then a mask appeared._

_Hmm, he'd heard from the Sandaime that Naruto was far smarter than she appeared. And yeah, he knew that Naruto was a female; he'd known for a while. Plus, his nose was as sharp as the Inuzuka clans'._

_Given what he knew about Naruto, he was not surprised to note that she easily kept up the front of being a clueless idiot._

_"Blondie?"_

_"Uzumaki Naruto, the last known descendant of the destroyed Uzumaki clan, orphan. I like ramen, I dislike broody assholes, and my dream for the future is to become Hokage, -ttebayo!" Naruto was loud, a prankster, and a dead last… only not. Kakashi knew to expect good things from her._

_The damn council, though, wanted him to focus on the Uchiha._

_"Good. Meet me at training field seven. You aren't genin just yet - I have to administer a test before you're allowed to go."_

_"What?!" the kiss-ass shrieked. "What do you mean, 'not genin'?"_

_"Only nine of you will pass. The rest will go back to the Academy," he eyesmiled._

_"Cool!" Naruto shouted. "Less bakas to have to be a rival of, -ttebayo!"_

_Kakashi sighed. That verbal tic… was seriously irritating when it was shouted on the top of her lungs._

_"So, meet me at training ground seven early in the morning! Ja!"_

_He poofed out, but stayed for a few seconds, hidden in a tree._

_"Hey, Sasuke-kun, want to go on a date with me?"_

_The Uchiha left, the pinkette following the broody Uchiha. Naruto, however, simply stretched and put her hands into a cross sign, looked around, then Kakashi felt it. A spike in Kyuubi chakra._

_"Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!"_

_A clone popped out, and it looked almost_ exactly  _like Naruto. However, the eyes were a blazing red and the whisker marks were more ragged._

**_"Tch. You couldn't have let_ ** **me** **_handle most the chakra, kit?"_ **

_"Gomen, Kur-"_

**_"Don't say my name in the open, kit,"_ ** _the Kyuubi said._ **_"Just what did you want, anyway? I was having a nap."_ ** _He yawned, though Kakashi could tell it was exaggerated._

_"Gomen, I was just lonely," Naruto replied to the demon, who leaned back against the railing. "Without work I feel… a little empty, Kyuu. They still hate me."_

**_"They should give you kudos for what you did! You stopped a traitor and saved the village when you were younger. Before you had Itachi."_ **

_"Yeah, when you were still a jackass," the girl deadpanned._

_The Kyuubi hit her head._

_"Kyuu! What was that for?!"_

_Kakashi kept dead quiet, but he was completely_ floored  _by the comradery the demon showed her._

**_"I'm still a jackass!"_ ** _the self-proclaimed jackass said, puffing out his chest._ **_"Hear my mighty roar!"_ **

_Naruto simply raised an eyebrow when a growl that chilled Kakashi to the bone exited the Kyuubi's mouth._

_"…that's the most pathetic 'roar' I think I have ever heard," the teen said with a sweatdrop._

**_"I don't want the maggots to come crawling."_ ** _The Kyuubi glanced over to where Kakashi was hiding. Kakashi held his breath, but unknowingly bent his head in a submissive gesture._

_"…hey, Kyuu?"_

**_"What, maggot?"_ **

_"Do you think the Fourth would've been a good dad?" The Kyuubi froze, then exhaled and turned to Naruto._

**_"He was a… well. He was an animal compared to the rest of the maggots you and I have to face on a daily basis. I don't get why you won't let me crush them!"_ **

_Naruto turned around. "You can kill them all…" Kakashi's eyes widened as the Kyuubi's face turned hopeful. Then Naruto's eyes burned red as she looked at the Kyuubi. "…when I'm dust in the ground." The clone popped._

_Naruto was gone, and Kakashi could breathe._

_~:~_

_"Naruto knew about the Kyuubi from before," Kakashi informed the Sandaime, who paused in his smoking as they walked towards Naruto's apartment. "I highly doubt she thought you would be… accepting of her knowledge."_

_The Sandaime sighed wearily. "Anything else?"_

_"I think she knows about her father." Kakashi's quiet sentence made the Sandaime nearly drop his pipe. I don't think she's going to show her ingenuity at fuuinjutsu during the test. I think there's more to her than meets the eye."_

_The Sandaime sighed. "Indeed."_

_They entered the apartment. Trash layered the floor and her bed lay unmade. A single plant on the windowsill was growing… and yet, it looked like shit._

_"Well, she's an orphan that lives alone, so she wouldn't know," Kakashi said, a massive sweatdrop appearing._

_"She is that," the Sandaime absently agreed. "Where does Haruno Sakura live?"_

_Kakashi's lone eye swept the room as he answered, and his eye caught on a piece of fabric beneath the bed._

_It was silk._


	61. Tenshi Explained

Kakashi sighed as the company left, the ambassador in his covered palanquin.

_Those were simpler times,_  he reflected, taking out the newest Icha Icha book.

"Ne, sensei? Is that the newest book?" Naruto seemed eager to know.

"Hai," Kakashi smiled. "Why?"

"I dunno. I was just wondering, as Jiraiya's books are usually filled with pointless sex and overused dialogue." Naruto shrugged.

"This is  _Icha Icha Kunoichi_ ," he informed his student. "Two women, so definitely no pointless sex."

"Maybe Hotaru would like that," Naruto muttered, putting a hand on her chin in a thinking gesture. "She  _is_  into girls, so…" Naruto shrugged and reached into her pack. "Note to self: get Hotaru Jiraiya's  _Icha Icha Kunoichi_."

"You're not seriously going to give it to her, are you?" Kakashi asked, looking alarmed.

"Yeah, why?"

"Uh… well…" Kakashi gulped. "You read the book!"

"Okay!" Naruto plucked the book out of his fingers. "Thanks, sensei! I'll return it when I'm done!"

Kakashi shook his head in dismay.

"You know where she works, correct, Kakashi-senpai?"

Kakashi's gaze flicked to his old team member.

"I've known since right after she came onto the team," he told him. "Nobody that young can buy silk unless it's in the Red Light District, and even there it's expensive. Not nearly as expensive as a sample of silk in the normal market."

Itachi sighed. "I only figured it out when I…" he trailed off. "Well, I was resting in her room, and I saw it."

Kakashi shrugged. "I don't judge my students by what they do."

"She hasn't been your student since Jiraiya took over," Itachi noted quietly.

"I know, Itachi," Kakashi snapped. "But I can't just tell her, 'hey, Naruto, you know I know you're a prostitute in the Red Light District'."

"Actually it probably would've been fine," Naruto commented, gathering their attention. "Not like I care if anyone knows, as long as they aren't my clients."

"Does Shikamaru-"

"He doesn't give a damn," Naruto shrugged. "He kind of mentioned the fact that while we're married right now, it's informal and I just can't work there when I'm eighteen - not  _me,_ me. A bunshin could." Naruto was blasé about the entire thing. "Kaa-san Shuki likes me enough to where she tried to talk me out of it. I'm Tenshi, by the way." She kept reading the book. Itachi turned to Kakashi, who watched his former student with shock.

"I've heard about Tenshi," Kiba piped up. "She's the angel of the RLD."

"More like sex angel," Shikamaru said, then he went a little red as Kakashi and Itachi stared at him. "My dad thought it was a good idea for me to go to a brothel using a  _henge._  Apparently newbies are sent to Tenshi."

"No, that's just who was available at the time," Kiba replied. "Shuki-san told me what Tenshi doesn't do."

"Yeah, but those are pretty much the list of kinks some ninja are fond of and Shuki doesn't allow," Shikamaru replied.

"So… is it a requirement to visit a prostitute, un?" Deidara asked with a frown.

Itachi looked at Kakashi, who took a deep breath.

"Shuki-kaa-san made it clear when she created the brothel," Kakashi said reluctantly, "that  _any_  ninja who wanted to speak of their mission - S-Class or not - could come and talk about it in front of the prostitutes. Weaker prostitutes like civilians are given the civilians, and the older, experienced ones are given to the ones whose minds aren't cracked. It was essentially a place where the prostitutes are glorified psychologists without the degree and paid for secrets, time, and sex, because none of those psychologists that have a degree are willing to go as far as Shuki's prostitutes. I know this because I went to see Mitarashi Anko once."

"Yeah, but I've heard that Anko's pretty heavily into S&M, but Tenshi's not," Kiba said. "Plus, Naruto must use her solid  _henge_  for that, because I'm pretty sure the whole Elemental Nations would've expanded on the fact that Konoha has a whore for a demon container."

"Actually, Konoha made sure none of the other nations knew of Naruto's existence," Itachi said quietly.

"Look, it's not as if Naruto's doing something illegal," Kiba said. "Tenshi is a completely different personality."

"What, do you like that personality?" Shikamaru asked with a sigh.

"No, I like Naruto better," Kiba admitted. "Tenshi felt fake."

"Hmm," Deidara hummed. He took a look at the palanquin Naruto was walking beside. "I thought of a use we have for 'Tenshi', un."

"Seriously? Using her skills to get good service?" Kakashi asked with a frown.

"Hey, shinobi do  _anything_ for the mission, un," Deidara said, raising his hands and inadvertently showing off his mouths on his hands. "Even sleep with the client, un."

Kakashi frowned. There was something wrong with Itachi and Deidara.

But he had a good point.

Kakashi took a deep breath.

"Naruto!"

Naruto dropped back.

"Nani?" she asked, looking annoyed he'd interrupted her.

"Would you be willing to…  _improve relations…_ with Ame?"

Naruto's sigh told him she wasn't, but she nodded. "Hai. I know a friend; maybe if I brought her… Shuki-san sent her to gather supplies from Tanzaku Gai, but I might be able to convince Hime to do it."

"Go get her… and give me my book," he pouted as Naruto went to put the book away in her own weapons pouch. She pouted, but she gave it to him and darted off.

~:~

Tenshi appeared, looking regal and beautiful.

Kakashi's mouth dropped.

"Kakashi-san?" she asked, tilting her head. "I was wondering if you could guide me to Ame."

"Ah, Tenshi-san. Did my student pass you by?"

"Hai, she said she would go to Tanzaku Gai and give Shuki what she needed. I just was not particularly wanting to make two trips; I am not meant to walk so far on my own."

"My lady," the ambassador looked at her with shock and intrigue, "are you headed to Amegakure no Sato?"

"Maybe." She walked up to him, and in full view of the group, dropped to her knees elegantly. "Is there any way I could possibly pay for my passage?"

The ambassador flushed. "You may ride with me in the palanquin."

"Arigatou, ambassador-sama."

Kakashi, Itachi, Shikamaru, and Kiba all felt their blood rush south.

Deidara just watched as she worked the man over with just a few placed touches and softly spoken words.

It was shocking to see, in all honesty.


	62. Rainy Entertainment and Amusing Capture

Nagato watched through the eyes of his  _henge'_ d Path as the Tenshi woman gave him fleeting touches in hopes of strengthening relations between Konoha.

He would wait; perhaps when they entered the main part of Amegakure, the capital of Ame, he would cease the rain to see if Uzumaki Naruto was truly a genuine woman.

To do that, though, he needed a big plan.

"Konan."

Konan turned, Yahiko next to him.

"I want you and Yahiko to  _discreetly_  capture all but the 'ambassador' and prostitute. Do not let the rest of the Akatsuki know… especially not Madara or Zetsu."

Konan nodded, body splitting into two, one fluttering away and carrying Yahiko, the other staying to watch.

Nagato frowned to himself a bit.

Why did he feel guilty about this?

~:~

Upon entering the rainy country of Ame, Naruto could feel the natural chakra in the rain. She  _giggled,_  then exited the palanquin.

"Tenshi-sa-"

Naruto let the rain drench her. Kurama purred deep inside her.

"Ambassador-sama, do you mind if I gave you some… rainy entertainment?" Naruto's eyes were alight with happiness. Each drop contained pure chakra, and it made her giddy.

"Of course not," the ambassador replied.

Naruto smiled, then she took a deep breath.

_Come on, Kurama. Let's dance between the raindrops!_

Naruto took the stance of a Hyuuga Jyuuken, then she started as a raindrop fell on the ground.

She moved faster and faster each time, each raindrop that collided with her, giving off a burst of color - all of them different.

It reacted with her chakra, and she took to the challenge well until it looked like there was a multicolored blur dancing in the rain.

She stopped after she was out of breath, dancing and entrancing even the palanquin workers.

"I apologize, ambassador-san, but given to my chakra-sensitive nature, I am able to feel the chakra resonating with mine," she smiled brilliantly.

"It's fine. Please, come back in. I have towels - to live in Ame, one must keep a good supply of them," the ambassador smiled.

"Arigatou," Naruto smiled. She jumped into the palanquin. "Do you live in the towered city?"

"I do," the ambassador said firmly. "If you would accompany me in the city, I would be delighted. However, the Konoha ninja must stay out of the city; during the last war, many people lost their homes to Konoha shinobi. It was why I was hesitant to hire Konoha ninja; it is still fresh in the memory of this city."

Naruto could feel his chakra; it was being truthful.

"Kakashi-san!" she called, drying her hair. Kakashi poked his head in the palanquin. "I will accompany the kind ambassador; I have enough ninja training to protect him from any bandits."

"Hai, Tenshi-san. Should I come collect you soon?" he asked.

"That would be nice, yes. Perhaps in six days?" she looked at the ambassador - Tori - who nodded with a small smile. "Then we are agreed. Six days, Kakashi-san."

"Ja!" Kakashi and the other ninja vanished.

~:~

As they got to the city, the rain let up. Nagato watched as Naruto looked a little confused through his Path's eyes.

"I thought this country was called Rain because it… well,  _rained,_ " she said, an eyebrow raised.

His Path explained. "Our mysterious and elevated leader, Pein-sama, is a god that controls the heavens."

Naruto raised the other eyebrow. "Forgive me, but I am not one to put all my cards in one pot, if you know what I mean," she said quietly.

"Forgive me, I was out of line. You are not a native of Ame; I know outsiders rarely get to see this."

Naruto inclined her head as she took out a fan and flipped it open to cover half her face.

A couple filthy orphans hurtled around the corners, knocking Naruto into the Path.

"Oh… Sumimasen!" the orphans said.

"It's fine," Naruto said, lowering and snapping her fan closed with a snap of her wrist. Ignoring the dirty ground, she lowered herself into an elegant crouch and took out a… frog purse.

"Here," she offered the orphans. She took about half the bills out and split them between the two. "Will this be enough to get you a decent-"

"Filthy ingrates! Steal from me again and I'll cut your hands off!"

Nagato nearly killed the man. After all, he had thought that his decree that orphans must be treated well was being followed.

But he was stopped by a delicate scoff.

"How could you!" the man was thwacked with the fan, and he covered his head as Naruto delivered several more hits to his person with her fan. "These children are  _starving,_ and with your belly, I would say that you're far better off than them! No  _wonder_  they steal from you - you're too slow to catch them. Now excuse me whilst I go burn my fan; I don't want to use it again after I hit  _your_ unwashed hair."

With that, she turned around, but then the man grabbed her arm and twisted it sharply. Naruto winced in pain as other people watched, horrified.

Then, paper flew in, blinding the man, who accidentally broke her arm in his haste to get the paper out of his eyes, given the cry of pain Naruto gave out.

Konan appeared, her face a blank mask. Wings were formed from paper. She took a piece of paper, and placed it on the man's head.

"Make this a lesson," the angel of Ame said in a monotone. "To all of you who continue to make this world a harder place to live in. Even a prostitute from a different city is willing to help people she doesn't even know."

The man fell, dead. Konan approached Naruto and formed another fan for her to use out of durable paper, since the other fan was now on the ground. Then she gave the Path a piece of paper.

"Please tell the hotel that this lady is staying in with these two children that it's on the Angel of Ame."

The Path bowed, and Konan took flight.

Naruto glanced at the Path. "I don't suppose we can go to the hotel now, can we? I need to reset my arm, then give these kids a wash." She ruffled one of their heads, and the kid just stared at Naruto with  _awe._

~:~

Kakashi was aware of the danger before the others, but that did not mean he could act on it. All of them were surrounded by multiple blunettes, or copies of the same blunette.

"Do not worry," the seeming original blunette said, an orange-haired man by his side. "We are not here to take back Itachi or Deidara. We must keep you from interfering with Pein-sama's plan."

"So the leader's name is Pein, huh?" Kakashi asked curiously.

"Oops," said the blunette, looking to her companion, in a curiously blank tone. "I suppose we shouldn't mention that Pein-sama's the ambassador we sent."

"Or the fact that they sent a jinchuuriki who Pein-sama's intrigued with and most likely won't kill into Ame," the orange-haired man with a lot of piercings said, also looking at the blunette with loving eyes.

"Or the fact that Pein-sama made the rain stop."

"Or the fact that Pein-sama's probably trying to get lucky."

"Or the fact that Pein-sama told us to  _discreetly_ capture these guys…"

"And to not tell Madara or Zetsu," added the orange-haired man.

"Or the fact that Pein-sama's not really interested in Deidara's status as a traitor…"

"Or the fact that we can remove the rings before death," finished the orange-haired man, looking comically sad. "We can't mention any of that!"

"Oh, my," the blunette covered her mouth in shock. "Totally can't!"

A blunette was currently removing the rings.

"Too bad that they can't leave Pein-sama to get lucky," sighed the orange-haired man. "For six days. And not the real Pein, either! Which sucks… either way you put it," he leered.

The blunette hit him.

"Ow! Ko-chan!"

She hit him again.

The Orange-haired man became depressed. "Ko-chan, why so mean?!"

"I'M YOUR WIFE! STOP CALLING ME 'KO-CHAN'!"

"YOU'RE NOT MY WIFE, YOU'RE MY FIANCEE!"

"Congratulations," Itachi said in his low voice.

"Thanks," 'Ko-chan' beamed. "He asked me right after you left… when I put him in the hospital."

"Yeah, I broke my arm. Konan healed it, though. Look, can we move this to another place? I think we'll get sick."

Paper moved about quickly, and a door-less, and yet quite spacious, house appeared around them.

"I love your Kekkei Genkai," beamed the orange-haired man.

"I know," Konan smiled. "Do you all have enough rations?"

The Konoha nins brought out two scrolls full of rations.

Each.

"Yeah, I think we have enough for about three weeks," Kakashi grimaced.

"And if we are really desperate, we can collect rainwater," Itachi said.


	63. Talking

Naruto smiled at Tori. "Just a second, they have to finish eating." The kids were two little girls, one having strawberry blonde and one having a deep blue head of hair.

"We'll finish here," promised the strawberry blonde, whose name was Yang. The other's name was Blake, and she was quiet.

"You promise?" Naruto asked them.

They nodded.

"Alright, well, I'll be back. Be careful if you leave," Naruto smiled and hugged the duo. "Stay out of trouble," she told them with a grin.

"We will," Blake said, ducking her head.

"Shall we?" Tori asked with a polite smile.

"Certainly," Naruto grasped his hand. "So, I was wondering something. Is there, by any chance, a ramen shop nearby?"

"Our lord loves ramen," Tori said with a straight face. "Any person with the last name Uzumaki may have as much ramen as they desire."

"It happens that my last name is Uzumaki," Naruto said, still in her Tenshi form. "My father's hair overwrote my mother's," she added to Tori.

Tori nodded. "I see. Shall we?" he asked again.

He offered her a hand.

She grasped it.

~:~

Nagato watched his  _henge'_ d Path and Naruto with utter fascination.

"So what do you do for fun in Konoha?"

"Me, personally?" At his nod, Naruto smiled. "I usually go visit the Kages, -ttebayo. The monument there…there's special meaning there." She smiled a little. "The sunset it pretty there."

"Are you a ninja?"

"Only half the time," Naruto's voice had a kind-of rehearsed quality to it. "I'm sort of a medic." She lit her hand up with green chakra. "I suppose you could say I'm an iryonin." There wasn't any lies in her tone, and the Path entered a building leading to some of the higher walkways in the city. Rain pounded on the metal, and warm heaters blew hot air on them to warm them up as they entered.

The technology Ame had was far greater than most; Ame had 'laptops' to access things quicker. But there was a small price to pay.

Since chakra messed with the tech, extra pathways had been built with solid steel walls. Solid enough to block Pein's Paths chakra, and solid enough to only make the tech fizz a little bit as the Path and Jinchuuriki walked together.

"So what exactly does Konoha want to make an alliance with us?" the Path questioned the lady.

"Konoha has new leadership, as you know-as everyone knows-in Tsunade of the Sannin. You were there, listening to the council. I can only assume you were there to make an alliance." Naruto kept walking, but then she paused. "You won't make an alliance with Konoha because… because these people, the benefactors of the city want Uzumaki-san, the Uzumaki-san that carries the bijuu, ne?"

Oh, she was good.

"So you know of the Akatsuki. Who told you?"

"A friend." Her evasive response made anger flare through him.

"Oh? Who?"

The woman stiffened and flicked her fan open. "Nobody of interest for you."

_Liar._

"I see." His tone was neutral. Then he shoved her against the wall. The woman let herself be held there. "Pein-sama does not like traitors."

She huffed a laugh. "And I don't know my source. I call him or her a friend simply because the information helped me."

He released her. She rubbed her throat.

"I don't do S&M," she said, quite bluntly. "If you like that kind of thing, I'm going back to my village."

Nagato and his Path laughed.

~:~

Konan's orange eyes widened as her cup dropped from her hands and she turned to Yahiko and spontaneously hugged him.

"He laughed!" Konan squeezed Yahiko. "My bunshin told me he laughed, Yahiko! That jinchuuriki made him  _laugh!"_

Yahiko choked. Konan squeaked in alarm and released him.

"That's amazing news! How?"

"Uh…he said it had to do with her not doing S&M," Konan rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "Too bad my Kekkei Genkai only allows for my bunshin to send only a few thoughts."

"Aw…" Yahiko slumped, depression lines above his head. "We'll never get the juicy details!"

"I know," Konan said mournfully. "I wonder if he's sleeping with her now. And what-" she stopped, suddenly realizing she was talking about her leader having sex with the blonde jinchuuriki. And only Itachi was looking thoughtful, the others looking a bit grossed out.

"Isn't Leader-sama an Uzumaki male? Couldn't he restart the Uzumaki bloodline with her?"

"Come to think of it," Yahiko said, rubbing his chin, "Itachi's right."

Itachi shook his head, then smirked a little. "Did you guys know that Deidara is the half-brother of the Yondaime Hokage?"

"NANI?! HE'S RELATED TO NARUTO?!"

~:~

Shikamaru eyed Itachi as he forced Deidara to endure questions by the…well, he didn't know if those two were insane or not, but it was possible.

He had an idea of why Itachi was attached to the blonde.

"Did she have something to do with the Massacre?" There was a sudden silence in the paper-tent.

Itachi glanced at Shikamaru. "She played a part in it, yes."

Kakashi coughed. "That can't be true. You killed the entire clan that night, then visited her in her room. She was safe-"

"I did," Itachi cut Kakashi off. "But it was a week before. They planned on extracting the bijuu out of Naruto and controlling it to destroy Konoha. They had everything prepared; the child, a genjutsu to make everyone think everything was okay - but they did not count on my mother, Uchiha Mikoto."

"Mikoto?" Kakashi asked, looking bewildered.

"Hai. Mother said she could not bear to see Kushina's child so thoughtlessly sacrificed. So she made me erase Naruto's memories of that night." Itachi poked at the ground. "I assume she still doesn't remember."

"You visited Naruto in her room?" Kiba asked, looking grossed out. "What a pervert!"

Itachi sent him a filthy look. "I didn't want to leave her alone. How would you feel if your first friend died and your second friend left the village without saying goodbye?" Itachi sighed a little. "Naruto and my friendship was created by my older cousin, who I did  _not_  kill."

"Itachi, do you really think-"

"They're probably wondering why an S-Class criminal was allowed to rejoin Konoha as a shinobi, as I'm pretty sure she only told the jounin to stop people from making mistakes and raising a ruckus," Itachi said to him. "I think they should know the truth. I didn't kill my clan because being a thirteen-year-old ANBU member made me snap; I did it because Shimura Danzou ordered me to."

There was a silence.

"So…you killed your clan to get good in with the Akatsuki, un?"

"No, I came to be in the Akatsuki because of Madara," Itachi replied coolly.

"He's not actually Madara," Yahiko said offhandedly.

"Yeah, I kind of figured. Madara would've been, what, eighty?" Itachi idly wondered. "I wonder who he's impersonating…"

~:~

Tobi sneezed as he walked through the Akatsuki hideout, in his serious personality. Zetsu looked at him.

"Are you  **okay, Tobi?"**

"Fine," he replied. "Somebody must be talking about me. It's nothing, happens all the time."


	64. Helping the Enemy

Naruto got into a sort of routine-leave the extravagant hotel the bluenette had allowed Naruto to stay with and leave Yang and Blake there. She left with Tori, who she suspected was totally not who he said he was, and walked around the city.

But today was different.

She left, and Tori didn't seem aimless. He seemed…tentative.

"What's wrong?" she finally asked, snapping the fan open. It was a pretty design-she loved the snowflake-esque designs.

"Do you hate the Akatsuki?"

Naruto tilted her head. "'Hate' is a nasty word," she said after a moment. "I do not like them, personally, because they keep trying to kill me and revive a nasty bi-" Naruto cut herself off, frowning angrily.  _Damn, I nearly said their goal, and they might have ears around me!_

**Naruto, you really** _ **suck**_   **at sensing chakra, and you're a** _ **natural**_ **at it.** Kurama's voice was edgy.

_I know he's probably not who he says he is. In fact, I'm pretty sure he's part of the Akatsuki!_

"Let me take you somewhere. I can assure your safety," Tori promised.

"Fine," Naruto responded, and Tori grasped her hand and started to run.

Several walkways later and Naruto was gasping for breath. She wasn't using any of her chakra, so it wasn't augmenting her poor normal-no-chakra running (she used chakra on suicide runs, but only minimally).

"I thought you had to have god stamina," Tori said with a raised eyebrow.

Naruto glared at him. "I'm wearing a heavy dress, and I'm not using my chakra. Excuse me if I don't have good stamina," she choked out.

"Why don't you take the dress off?"

Naruto slapped him, blushing furiously. "I'm also not into voyeurism!"

He stared at her, shock in his eyes. "You're  _blushing."_

Naruto looked to the side, her entire face red, which probably did  _not_  go well with Tenshi's complexion.

"Let's just get to where we're-!"

Naruto was cut off as her feet were knocked from under her and the man was carrying her, bridal style.

It took a few minutes, but Naruto and Tori stopped at one of the many doors.

"Go in there. I promise you won't be hurt."

Naruto took a deep breath and opened the door. It opened to a dimly lit room that was cavernous.

A statue was behind a weak-looking man, the blunette staring at her with utter shock as Naruto entered.

"Dispel your  _henge,_  Uzumaki Naruto." Naruto was tempted to  _not_  follow his instructions, but she only dispelled one of her  _henges._

She was no longer wearing the dress. Instead, she wore standard chuunin wear.

"Who are you?" she asked him.

"Uzumaki Nagato."

Yes, now that her eyes had adjusted to the dimness, she could see the red hair.

"Your hair is like Kaa-san's," she said, eyes widening. "I like it." She blinked and slapped a hand over her mouth, cursing her habit of spewing out what she thought.

The blunette just stared at her.

"Gomen," Naruto said. "And…um, are you okay?" He looked really,  _really_  weak. Like, skin-and-bones. Literal skin and bones.

"No, the statue is taking his chakra away." The man coughed, and Naruto winced at how bad it sounded. "The rods can't be taken out of his back without some chakra being taken away from the one who takes them out." The blunette sounded sad.

… **please tell me you're not going to help him…**

"Why are you taking the Bijuu?" Naruto looked at the blunette. "Just answer that question."

"To make this world a better place," the blunette said assuredly.

Naruto's bangs shadowed her eyes. "And you… you think… putting  _everyone_  under the  _Eternal Tsukuyomi_ is a good idea?! Do you have  _any_  idea what it will unleash?!"

"A far better world," the lady said, but she sounded like she doubted her own words.

"You don't have to listen to me," Naruto said, walking up to the lady and Nagato. "I can't stand to see someone in pain. But if you take the Bijuu and put them inside the statue, it will unleash Otsutsuki Kaguya from her prison in the moon, and while we're under the influence - so to speak - we will all turn into White Zetsus."

Naruto walked up behind the man and grasped one of the rods. With a yank, Naruto took one out, barely noticing the slight drain on her chakra.

She called up the medical training her Ketsueki clone had done and healed the damage before moving onto the next one. When she was down to the last one, she could feel the drain.

"You don't have to-" Nagato began, but then Naruto dispelled her last  _henge,_  her chakra returning, and she growled softly at him.

"Shut up, you  _baka._  I'm an Uzumaki, you're family, even if you're trying to kill me. What kind of family member would I be if I let you die, hmm? A shitty one. Now shut up and conserve your strength for the blunette over there." Naruto's arms tensed, then she gently slid that one out and shakily healed him. "Now, I think I'll pass out now."

~:~

Kurama smirked a little.

"I thought you were going to pass out," the blunette said to him.

" **Oh, I'm not Naruto."**

They tensed, the redhead being held up by the blunette.

" **You have my old man's eyes,"**  the Bijuu said in an unreadable voice. The Rikudo Sennin had been by far the kindest of the humans the Bijuu had met-save for Ashura. " **Obviously, I'd like to threaten you. But I won't. You know why? Because what Naruto said is the truth. You take my siblings and I and put us in that statue, you're all as good as committing genocide."**

Kurama turned away. " **You'll already kill nine innocent beings in this self-imposed war; I hope you understand and can bear that burden."**

"I am the Child of Prophecy," said the man.

Kurama snorted. " **No, my vessel is the Child of Prophecy. She has the will of my old man; you simply have his eyes."** He walked to the door. " **Know that whatever you do, I will protect Uzumaki Naruto."**

"One question," Nagato said, just as Kurama began to open the door. "Is your host genuinely an Uzumaki?"

" **She'd be your superior in the Uzumaki line,"** Kurama grinned. " **And she's a Jinchuuriki's child. More powerful than any single S-Class ninja. Genius… and yet, a** _ **serious**_ **baka…"**

He muttered that to himself.

" **Now, if you don't mind, I'd rather stay** _ **far**_   **away from that creepy-ass statue."** He opened the door and darted out of the city, using a  _henge_  to make himself look like his human self.


	65. Craziness in Konoha

Naruto spotted the paper tent, then glanced down at the paper fan. She was in her first  _henge,_  not her very foxlike, two-tailed visage or in Tenshi's form. In her Chuunin vest, a version of the clothes Kakashi wore, and her necklace. She didn't look like

The paper tent vanished, leaving the orange-haired man and the blunette lady.

"Hey, blunette lady, here," Naruto shoved the fan at her.

"Keep it, Naruto-san," the blunette smiled. "It's connected to your chakra. Use it in your attacks."

Naruto nodded. "Eto…what's your name?"

The lady stopped. "Konan. This is Yahiko. Didn't Jiraiya tell you?"

Naruto laughed sheepishly. "Ah, if he did, I was probably doing several things at once, -ttebayo. You guys are still here?" She looked at the five shinobis, who facefaulted, one thought running through their heads.

_Seriously?_

"So, Naruto, what did you do?"

Naruto stopped, a thought occurring to her, and she screamed.

"I LEFT THEM THERE! KONAN-SAN! PLEASE TAKE CARE OF THE ORPHANS IN MY HOTEL ROOM!"

"SHE SAYS SHE WILL!" Yahiko screamed back.

"THANKS!"

"SHE SAYS 'YOU'RE WELCOME!" Yahiko's faint answer was heard.

"So… you took two orphans into you hotel room? Are you a secret pedo?" Kiba asked, grinning at her.

"NO, YOU IDIOT! Yang and Blake were two innocent children who were stealing, so I saved them, -ttebayo! And Konan killed the bad man with a piece of paper!" Naruto actually thought that was pretty amazing.

What? Shinobis killed.

"It's her Kekkei Genkai, Kami no Megumi. Otherwise known as the 'Paper Goddess'." Itachi stood up next to her. "And actually, we weren't right  _here_ by choice. However, we did learn some useful information."

Naruto smiled… and then scowled as some of her longer hair fell into her face, irritating her.

"Kuso," she swore. She impatiently brushed it back.

"Here, un," Deidara tossed her a hair-holder. "Introduce me to that sensei of yours when we get back, un."

"All right!" Naruto smiled.

~:~

"Naruto." Shino approached Naruto back in Konoha. "My father wishes to speak with you to learn more about the family Kekkei Genkai if you are up to it."

"Sure!" Naruto beamed. "Let's go now! Wait, where are-"

"Mom took them to train them more in clan techniques. I miss Akamaru," Kiba pouted. "But she took them before this last mission, and you're just now noticing?"

Naruto shrugged. "While I was with Jiraiya I didn't take them everywhere. They mostly practiced their skills with Utakata and Hotaru. Anyway, I'll see you later, Kiba! Save some ramen for me!"

Naruto darted off.

~:~

Kiba sighed as she did so.

"Girl issues?" Teuchi, the owner of Ichiraku's, asked with sympathy.

"She's technically married," Kiba said, depression lines over her head. "And the clueless idiot doesn't even realize that I like her…"

"She's growing up to be a fine young woman," Teuchi noted with a small smile at the thought.

"Yeah, she can use her demonic chakra and her own chakra to heal things." Kiba didn't even notice the disguised Kiri ninja behind him, leaning in to listen a bit discreetly. "It's like an Uzumaki thing that runs through the females."

"I see," Teuchi nodded. "Is she part of your clan, too?"

"Ah, yeah, she was blood-adopted by my aunt and Shino's aunt. No, it doesn't mean we're related, so it's totally not gross if I date her," Kiba added at Teuchi's slightly disgusted look. "It just means that she has Inuzuka, Aburame, and Uzumaki blood running through her veins. She can do special techniques of both clans. Since she's getting married into the Nara line, she's going to have to learn the clan techniques." Kiba sighed. "Well, I should go. Mind if I order some ramen to-go for her?"

"Sure," smiled the older man. "Make sure she knows it's on her tab!"

"Yeah, I will, old man!"

~:~

The Kiri nin was, incidentally, Ao. Their new leader, Mei, wanted to make an alliance with Konoha, but Ao was part of her secret guard and had snuck into Konoha.

He had heard the  _entire_ conversation. So the blonde jinchuuriki was an amazing fighter? Well, Ao and his team  _were_  excellent at sealing.

So, all they had to do was seal her into a single spot, then take her at the end of Mei's visit.

It would  _not_  be easy-

"ART IS AN EXPLOSION, UN! YOU'RE AN ABSOLUTE JACKASS, UN!"

…was that the ex-missing-nin  _Deidara_ chasing mass murderer  _Uchiha Itachi_ around the village trying to kill him?

Wow, Konoha was  _weird._

"YOU TRIED TO TOUCH MY HUSBAND?! DIE, YOU STUPID GENIN!" Roared Momochi Zabuza as he passed by, chasing a kid with a runny nose wearing a Konoha hitai-ate, crying dramatically as he fled.

The ramen owner shook his head.

"Is this natural?" Ao asked the ramen owner.

The ramen owner sighed.

"It is when you have Uzumaki Naruto in a village."


	66. Training

"Hey, Naruto, you busy?" Shikamaru took in the slightly ragged look in Naruto. Naruto shuddered for a second, and then grimaced.

"No, why?" her voice was strained.

"Dad wants to train us."

Naruto sighed a little and shuddered again.

"Are you okay?"

"I have to get used to my kidaichu. They're dangerous, but they won't explode - Kyuu will kill 'em before they do that."

"Kyuu?"

"Oh, the Kyuubi." Naruto seemed dead tired.

"Hey, if you're exhausted-"

"I'm fine. I can go another long while." Naruto's back straightened up. "Next, though, Shibi-san is going to try the Shokaichu. They're  _worms._ " Naruto seemed disgusted by that fact.

Shikamaru would be, too.

"So where exactly do the bugs live?"

"If you really want to ask me that, you're  _definitely_ going to divorce me when we turn eighteen," she said, going green. "Suffice it to say, my bugs are monitored by Kyuu. Let's go do some training…hold on." Naruto bent over the bushes and threw up. Violently. Shikamaru had the decency to look away.

"Are you  _sure_  you're alright?"

"Yep. Let's go."

~:~

Naruto took several deep breaths as she fought to get used to those bugs. Seriously, Naruto did  _not_  want any more bugs in her body. Her new techniques were kind of draining, but they worked.

**Naru, I'm sure if you asked, he'd take the kidaichu out.**

_I know. At least I'm not a full-blooded member of the clan._

**Why don't you ask him about choosing a different kind of bug? Or hey, even creating a seal on your hands that hides the bugs? Nobody would care, plus the seal is technically** _ **not**_   **your body. I can create a small path to keep feeding them chakra. Maybe you should invest in hands like Deidara's.**

_Mouths on my hands? I'd have to brush them constantly._

**Baka, seals on your palms. You're a genius when it comes to it. Plus, you have the entirety of 'Ne' at your command, thanks to the seal on your back.**

"NANI?!" Naruto entered her home. "I HAVE  _WHAT,_ NOW?!"

**Shut up. Point is, you should do that if you don't want the bugs inside you.**

Naruto smiled brilliantly as she slammed the door shut.

She followed the amazing smell of food to the kitchen, where she heard a distant arguing.

"No, the shithead isn't going to be cooking tonight! I said I was, and that's what I'm doing!"

"Well, excuse me for wanting to cook!"

"I'm home!" Naruto called out, bouncing into the kitchen. Deidara looked up at her from his mashed potatoes. Looking around, she saw that everyone had mashed potatoes.

"Oh, dinner's not done yet, un," Deidara informed her with a smirk. "The stuffing's almost done, so's the chicken, but they've been at it almost all night, un."

"Can you help me with something?" Naruto questioned, sitting next to her uncle.

"What do you want, un?" Deidara asked.

"I was conversing with Kyuu about getting used to my kikaichu and… another kind of bug… in my body, and he suggested hand-seals on my palms to store them."

Deidara rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "I don't know that muck about seals, un. Maybe if I knew more about them, I could help you, un."

"Thanks!" beamed Naruto. "I think your hand-mouths are cool. How do you keep them clean?"

Deidara snorted. "They can be sealed shut, un. I do that on occasion when I'm busy with something else  _other_  than blowing things up, un."

"Wow… I almost want a pair," Naruto breathed.

A mischievous smirk settled onto Deidara's face. Naruto paled at it.

"If I help you with your seals… you turn the hand-mouths into a Kekkei Genkai of the Uzumaki Clan, un!" he smirked, settling back.

Naruto drooped. "Another thing to learn…" she moaned.

~:~

"… and the last thing I would put in the circle is this symbol here, to make it clear they're alive and should stay that way. This here will stabilize the seal, but basically it's like Kakashi's technique and storing them into another dimension inside of my arms with chakra feeding both it and the bugs," Naruto summed up, drawing sure strokes on the piece of paper. Deidara was looking intently on it. "If I want to, I could add this," she pointed to a symbol on a piece of paper, scattered on the table, the rest of the Uzumaki clan watching with interested eyes as Naruto created a seal simply based on pre-existing ones and drawing it in a circle, "later to give the bugs a kind of habitat so they can reproduce and not solely rely on my chakra. All I need to do now is paint the 'intent' symbol, meaning whatever bugs I want to summon out of the scroll, will be summoned out. There. That should do it." She waited a few seconds, then bared the inside of her arms. "I'll need you to put the 'habitat' symbol on when we know it takes. Don't copy it," she added hastily as she summoned two clones, as Deidara began to lower the paint brush on another piece of sealing paper. "I need a clone to replicate the one already drawn and seal it in my 'sealing arrays' book for later, and another clone to transform into it."

An identical copy of the sealing array appeared.

"Are you sure you want him to do it, shithead?" Tayuya asked, looking worried.

"He's the only one here that actually has the closest blood tie with me," Naruto admitted. "Now."

Deidara placed the seals above her wrist, but below the elbow, and pushed chakra into them. "FUUIN!"

Pain slammed into Naruto, making her want to throw up her very good dinner. When it faded, her arms looked red as Deidara took the seal paper off.

The seal that the bunshin had transformed into reverted to a bunshin, and the bunshin nodded at Deidara. "Draw this symbol," she ordered, pointing at the 'habitat' symbol, "right here." Deidara drew as fast as he could without smearing the chakra ink. Then he mirrored it on the other arm, and it was done as he pushed chakra into it.

Only a small twinge of pain appeared.

"Hopefully, it succeeded." A single bug appeared and did as she silently ordered it, going into the seal. The seal hummed to life, and the rest of Naruto's various bugs appeared, swarming into the seals. "Yay… it did…" Naruto slumped forward.

Something wet splashed onto her palms, and she watched as Deidara applied a sealing array to her hands. Then he clasped her hands together, and another wave of pain coming from her hands flared through her.

She winced a bit.

"All you need to do is  _think_  that your hands are normal, un," Deidara explained as he let go of her hands and drew the sealing array onto another piece of seal-paper. "And then  _think_  them back into existence, un. As long as you have chakra, you can summon them, un."

"Cool," Naruto said, watching hazily as her clone took the seal and went to seal it in the newly-dubbed Book of Seals. "Tired. Night."

She fell asleep at the table.


	67. Tricked

Her days flew by, turning into a week. Naruto was constantly tired even as her bugs grew to include the rest of the clan bugs, her medical ninjutsu began costing less chakra, and her shadow-manipulation jutsu became better.

Her hand-mouths were usually closed now, and she was designing multiple uses for a combination attack that used her Mokuton and her bugs in sync.

Just then, there was a yip, and Naruto opened the door to see Violet and Shiusi sitting there.

" **Hey, Naruto-sama,"**  Violet politely greeted.

" **Hey, hime!"** Shisui said, sounding happy. " **Wanna see something cool? Violet shared her shapeshifting ability with me!"**

" **Only because it would actually work with Naruto-sama,"** Violet coolly said, entering the lively home. " **He transforms into a man, I can officially transform into a woman. Are you appeased, Naruto-sama?"**

"Uh, you don't have to call me 'sama'. And yeah, I'm happy for you! Uncle Deidara! Come meet my ninken!"

Deidara entered just as Shisui transformed into a well-toned man that looked a lot like Kiba.

Naruto couldn't help but think,  _Thank you, Fate. He does_ not  _look_ anything  _like Shisui._

Violet transformed into a dark-haired woman with small breasts.

Naruto looked at her own still flat chest and facefaulted.

_I'M MORE FLATCHESTED THAN MY NINKEN!_

She cried in sorrow about that.

" **Naruto-sama?"**  the kitsune said, tilting her head. " **Daijobu?"**

"My ninken has bigger breasts than me…" wept the human sacrifice.

Violet sweatdropped.

~:~

Naruto was in the marketplace when a jewelry/weapon shop caught her eyes.

Now, Naruto wasn't someone who was normally interested in jewelry, but these ones had decorated chopsticks for hair, senbon needles, sealing paper, jewelry  _with_ seals on them… Naruto  _did_  have more than enough money to buy what she wanted from the store… and hey, there was even a 'repair your own family crest' station if you needed a repair job done with an item that had the crest on it.

Naruto frowned as she looked at the symbols. There was the crest of the families she knew… so she bought a few of each as a gift to them - the Inuzuka, Uchiha, even a Hatake crest that she got, Nara, and Uzumaki.

The Uzumaki ones, though, were a paper white.

She wanted the crest a crimson red.

She also sat down and created a sketch of a circle with bubbles in it. She thought Utakata might like it.

"Why do you want the symbol crimson? Shouldn't it be a light red?" asked the shop owner, who rang up the appropriate amount, discounting it because apparently first-time customers got a hundred-ryo discount. She had made the bubbles-in-a-circle first and had added the others to the bags.

"No. The Uzumaki clan is rising again like a phoenix - maybe I should stitch the symbol inside a phoenix - because our clan was choked in blood. However, we're rising out of the midst of the sea of red and… well, it makes for good symbolism, -ttebayo."

The woman looked horrified.

"Let me guess," Naruto sighed. "You're not a ninja."

The old woman shook her head.

"Then you wouldn't understand."

The Uzumaki swirls were dyed and added to the bag quicker than a lightning jutsu.

Naruto created a clone and sent it back to the house. Violet and Shisui had stayed behind, preferring to be lazy on a Saturday.

~:~

Ao made the final approach of the Uzumaki lady. He had laid tags discreetly down and was making a Kiri ninja be the sacrifice for the mission's sake: Capture Uzumaki Naruto. The Kiri nin had solemnly slashed his hitai-ate so that Kiri would  _not_  be implicated, and now Ao made the signal, turning into Hatake Kakashi.

"Kakashi! You're back from your mission!"

"Want to hear about it?" invited Ao as the Kiri nin started his job.

"Sure! Let's get away from the ruckus!"

"Maa, hold on. I need my book."

He waited until Naruto had passed the tags, then activated them.

A red barrier appeared.

"Aw, hell," Naruto groaned as Ao quickly cast a sleeping jutsu over her.

Ao waited a few precious seconds, then grabbed the girl and left.


	68. Angering the Mizukage

_I was an idiot,_  Naruto morosely thought as she walked behind the Kiri nin.  _To think Kakashi would actually want to spend time with me. Tch, what was I thinking? Now my chakra's sealed and I can't use any of my techniques, can't call for help, and nobody out here is actually_ expecting  _to see the Orange Flash out here being held captive by Kiri ninja! Just great!_

Naruto continued to beat herself up about it, not even noticing that they boarded a boat with an elegant-looking lady on it.

She was shoved into a cell, and she sat there silently, depression lines hanging over her, a gloomy aura blanketing the area.

"Hey, kid," a voice said, and Naruto turned her eyes up to see a man with an oddly-shaped sword standing there… looking like the kid, Suigetsu, who'd chosen to be under Naruto's authority than leaving his fate with the Council… as, oddly enough, that one guy named Juugo had done, too. Weird. "What's with the gloom?"

"You're-!" Naruto said, looking awed. "You're-!"

The man puffed up.

"I am," he smirked arrogantly.

"A relative of that weird water guy, Suigetsu! Who are you?" Naruto wondered, tilting her head.

The guy facefaulted.

Then he straightened. "I am the awesome Hoozuki Mangetsu!" He seemed less arrogant than his brother, but it seemed he did have  _some_  arrogance.

"Okay, whatever," Naruto said, then let her gloom appear once more. "I suck, that's why I'm gloomy." Naruto sank even further into her depression.

"I'm sure you don't suck  _too_  badly, else we really wouldn't risk war with Konoha over you," he said after a few seconds. Okay, this guy  _wasn't_  arrogant as Naruto had first thought. Just a little egotistical and flamboyant.

"Then why didn't I just check his  _stupid_  chakra, huh?" Naruto growled, kicking the wood. "Why didn't I think it was unusual that Kakashi got home early? Why the  _heck_ would Kakashi even talk about his missions with me?!"

Naruto clenched her fists.

"Hey, kid," the man with the tag earrings appeared. "The Mizukage wants to speak with you."

Naruto gulped a bit.

"Okay," she squeaked.

She was led onto the deck.

The Mizukage was a lady who wore a pretty blue dress. Her hair was curled a bit, and some was parted enough to where her right eye was covered. She definitely had an aura of power; it was at times like this Naruto was glad she listened to Itachi, even if he was supposed to be mad at her for taking a power of his Sharingan away. She tried to speak with Kurama, only to sweatdrop as she found he was napping.

"Mizukage-sama," she ducked her head as she was shoved into a chair. "Is there any reason I was dragged from my home?" Her cutting remark made the Mizukage set her tea down.

"Yes. The fact of the matter is, we need more bloodline clans. I will compensate you, of course," Mei said, gazing at Naruto. "All we ask is that a new generation of Uzumaki be brought to Kiri shores."

The ship sailed on as Naruto thought about the risks. And then she remembered Tazuna.

" _We did go to Kiri, but they refused to help," he said, drinking some of his sake as he explained to the Konohans. "We even went to the rebels and they refused. Said they didn't need a bridge, they needed more bloodlines. See that island over there?" Tazuna pointed out there, where the faint bank of an island was revealed as the fog vanished. "That's Fish Island. But you want to know what it was originally called? Uzushiogakure. Maybe that's why Kiri won't help - they, Kumo, and I believe Iwa destroyed it."_

Naruto started to laugh. It was nothing at first, just Naruto shaking, but finally she lost it and laughed maniacally.

Naruto just couldn't help it.

She laughed until her ribs hurt and she was crying. Tears of laughter escaped her eyes until an irritated Mei coughed.

"What's funny?"

Naruto smiled at her. "You expect me to help you?" she asked incredulously. "In the Second Shinobi World War, you, Kumo, and Iwa utterly destroyed my clan." She stood up and glared at Mei. "If you think I'm going to help  _you_  by being a breeder, you're  _fucking_  out of it."

"That's ancient history, two Kages ago." Mei tried to dismiss it. "You're probably thinking of what someone else-"

"Shut up," Naruto said, grabbing the Mizukage's collar and getting in her face. Tears clouded her vision. She shook a little, then she burst out, "I can never forgive the people who destroyed my mother's home!" She released the Mizukage. "I don't  _care_  how much you paid me! The blood of the Uzumaki is mostly on you and your predecessors. And Yagura seems to actually like it where he lives, so that isn't an information you'll get from me." Naruto shook her head, curling her lip. She straightened her back, trying to give an imperialistic bearing. "So, in other, less dignified words, Mizukage-sama, kindly go fuck yourself."

She was dragged back into the hold of the ship.

 _I have to hold out,_  she thought to herself.  _Until Vi or Shisui sense I'm missing. Oh, please, sense that I'm missing._

~:~

Nobody thought it was odd when the bunshin popped. Nobody thought it was odd that Naruto didn't return that night. Nobody thought it was odd when she didn't return for four days, missing every single thing she was supposed to do, as she was probably doing important clan stuff. Nobody went to the Hokage to bother her over such silly things.

Nobody, that is, until Kakashi actually went to the Uzumaki house, looking happy.

"Finally completed my mission-" he stopped. Naruto's bed was neatly made. That wasn't odd, but Naruto's scent had almost faded from the room.

Kakashi frowned. He slipped into the room and found a bag on the nightstand, probably set there by a bunshin, whose scent was the freshest, even as he followed it to the living room.

" **Come to grab Naruto-sama?"**  Violet yawned.

"What do you mean?" Kakashi asked, alarm settling in. "Naruto hasn't been here for  _days._  At all."

That got the ninkens' attention.

" **Come on!"**  Violet called. " **We'll need help! Shisui, go to Deidara! I'll go to Utakata, and Kakashi-sama, please go to get Itachi, Kiba and Shikamaru! Let's meet in the Hokage Tower in ten minutes!"**

" **Hai!"** Shisui scurried away, and Kakashi vanished.

~:~

Violet only had to give a yip for Utakata to get out of his apartment, which Violet only needed a minute to find, thanks to her excellent skills.

She took off as soon as Utakata was following her.

~:~

Shisui had to explain only three words:  _Naruto is missing._

Deidara's expression grew scary, and the dog had fled in the direction of the Hokage tower as Deidara followed.

~:~

Kakashi appeared in the training ground area where Kiba and Tsume were training with Akamaru.

"Tsume-san, Naruto's missing," he told her. "May I take Kiba and-"

Tsume growled. "Should I send Hana?"

"No, Kaa-san, I can do it," Kiba said, hugging her. "Sorry, but I'll catch you later!"

Kakashi told him, "Get to the Hokage Tower. I need to get Shikamaru."

Kiba nodded, and him and Akamaru vanished.

Kakashi vanished and appeared in Itachi's room, waking him up.

"Naru's missing. Hokage tower, five minutes."

He vanished, this time interrupting the shogi game Shikamaru was playing.

"Forgive me, but Naruto's missing," he said, his worry obvious.

"Go," Shikaku said, Shikamaru jumping up and racing to his room to get weapons.

"Arigatou," Kakashi said as he waited for Shikamaru, who came out shrugging on his chuunin jacket, his supplies ready.

"Ready," he told Kakashi, tying on his hitai-ate. "Let's go."

~:~

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?" Tsunade boomed.

"I said, Naruto's missing!" Utakata snapped. "I think we're the best choice to follow after her!"

He gestured violently to the other men vying for Naruto's affections.

"Fine," Tsunade said. "Bring her back safe." She sat down, looking worried. Very.

As soon as they were gone, Ibiki entered the room. "Tsunade-sama. The ex-Kiri nin cracked."

"Oh? And what makes this important for me to-"

Ibiki interrupted her.

"They're after Uzumaki Naruto. They planned to capture her four days ago."

Tsunade paled.

"Kiri… took my… granddaughter." Tsunade's chakra became visible. The Hokage was  _beyond_  pissed. "Get Deidara whatever he needs, and tell him that his niece is in danger. Also, call Jiraiya and tell him he needs to get his ass to see that Mizukage. One more thing - get me Hoozuki Suigetsu."


End file.
